“I gave my father my word never to leave Digilan. My promise holds.”
“Tell him!” Tianoman barked. “I command it.”
Tristan stared at his cousin. “Don’t do that, not in this. The Warlock and Digilan remains a threat, always, and no Vallorin should risk it.”
Tymall sighed. “He is right, son.”
“He denies my authority.”
“Tian, Tristan is Kaval leader. He must deny your authority. The Kaval pays no homage to any system or people, which is why they work.” Tymall lifted his gaze to Tristan. “Go. I shall smooth this out. Tell my father to come and see me once he finds himself again unchallenged.”
“Go well, uncle.” Tristan swiftly vanished into the dark, leaving Tianoman alone with his father.
He went to Menllik, aware the Syllvan watched the portal.
Chapter 23
Shadow and shade, a subtle difference in meaning or opinion or attitude
~ Titania Dictionary
Path of Shades
“TELL US,” TORRULLIN said, staring at Elianas.
“I may tell only you.”
Declan took Saska’s arm to lead her back to the fire, leaving Torrullin and Elianas pacing over the lines in the sand.
“Allow me to tell you a story,” Elianas murmured, coming to a halt.
“Gods.” Torrullin headed to the water.
Once there, he bent to drink with cupped hands and sat to remove his boots. It was clearly a delaying tactic. As Elianas came upon him, he rose to walk in the water.
“You cannot walk away from this,” Elianas called out.
Torrullin spread his hands. “An island, eternal light, calm water; can a man not walk?”
Elianas bent to take his boots off. Leaving them alongside Torrullin’s, he wandered nearer, kicking at the surf, such as it was. Torrullin waited for him and together they ambled on.
The silence was long.
“I thought you had a tale to share,” Torrullin muttered.
“Tell me about the Becoming, Torrullin. There are parallels, I think.”
They walked on a number of paces before Torrullin spoke.
“It was on a dark cold night outside Farinwood where it began. I sat there with Lowen, fighting attraction to her, when I realised I could hear birds and crickets and a host of other night sounds. It had not happened like that before. I thought it was due to the wine I swallowed and then thought I was ill, in delirium. When I heard people far away, I thought I was mad. I passed out and they tell me Quilla fetched me from there and took me to the Dome where the Kaval, newly formed, waited. I remember none of it, and it was a long month in coma before I returned. What I do recall are the journeys beyond reality, and they are clearly etched.”
“Did it hurt?”
“It hurt, yes.”
“Physically?”
“No.”
“No,” Elianas echoed. “That kind of hurt is far worse.”
“It strips you bare.”
“The Throne went into hibernation with Vannis,” Elianas said, “and I went in as well …”
He paused to give Torrullin a chance to realise the first parallel was due. Torrullin gave the briefest nod.
“Nine thousand years of apathy? I could not do it, and thus I travelled. At first it was a short hop to the surface, then that success led to a greater distance, and to ever greater. I learned how to separate for longer periods from the grounded seat, and journeyed - travels I may never forget. I saw things … which hurt. Often I thought I would lose my mind.”
“Journeys into the known, the unknown, the present, the future, the past, realms far and wide. There was no time to measure, and no anchorage. And there was knowledge, so much of it, it seeped into pore and marrow of the mind, as if the mind was physical,” Torrullin said.
“And a spectrum of emotion, where emotion was shattered into a million tiny shards of glass tears, and you knew, just knew, it was the soul that was the seat of all feeling,” Elianas added.
“The undoing commenced.”
“Atom by atom,” Elianas agreed.
“Until sentience was suffering.”
“Consciousness meant only pain, eons of pain.”
Both ceased walking at the same time.
Torrullin sighed. “I wish I could have spared you that.”
Elianas grimaced. “I saw you when you did not know me and often hated you for your unawareness, and then I was relieved you could not see my suffering. The polarity drove me close to insanity.”
“Are you whole now, Elianas?”
“About as whole as you are.”
Torrullin gave a wry smile. “That’s not saying much, is it?”
“I would not have it any other way.” Elianas shrugged, and started walking again.
“Tell me,” Torrullin prompted, falling in beside him.
“I was a boy who stumbled upon eternity when I met you. My blood flowed strong and sure, and every confusion told me how alive I was at last, how different my future would be. Every emotion, every hurt, every rejection and every joy reinforced life. How could I turn my back on it? And when it got dark and suffering commenced … alive, life, passion. Why would I regret it? Apathy and death, those are the alternatives, and thus I would rather fight with you every day, every moment, than fade into obscurity.”
“To be alive comes at an unholy price,” Torrullin murmured.
“I stand by it.”
A step, two. “I have a confession to make before we speak of power.”
Elianas walked on in silence, the stiffening of his shoulders betraying new tension.
“I knew you would betray me, Elianas.”
Elianas jerked to a stop. Dark eyes flashed.
Torrullin stared at him. “I knew and I allowed it to happen.”
“Why?”
“You were unaware of me. You saw me through your feelings, not me in mine. I needed you to feel as I felt.”
Elianas sat as if his bones were liquid. “By god, what a fool I was. You played me, and you have surprised me as I have not been surprised in a long, long while.”
Torrullin sank to his haunches. “You wanted to see me react, and I did. You aided in my betrayal of you so I will know you will never apologise. I cannot forgive if you cannot say you are sorry. A vicious circle, Elianas, for you are not sorry, and never will be, and I cannot speak forgiveness, because I am not, either. The first betrayal, after all, was mine.”
“I did not see it.”
“And you did not feel it either and that is why I reacted as I did.”
“I thought your fury was for what we discovered that night.”
“Indeed it was,” Torrullin said. “I discovered I would willingly surrender to you.”
Elianas paled. “I got it wrong.”
“No, you got it right. Did we not start playing this game that same night?”
“Do you mean surrender power?”
“I mean surrender my heart, Elianas.” Torrullin rose. “You still do not see it. What did I do to you, that you are blind still?”
Elianas’ face was stripped of all civilisation. “Torrullin?”
“Do you think this is about pleasure? Do you think it is about power? Do you really think it can be about brinkmanship?” Again Torrullin lowered to his haunches. “Do you think it is about submission? Sex? Competition? Domination? Those are the factors of this stupid battle we began the night of betrayal, but it is not the real truth.”
“What is the real truth?” Elianas whispered.
Torrullin blinked. “You are so good with words, my brother, but do you ever listen to yourself?” He dropped to one knee and placed a hand over Elianas’ heart. “Sacred space, listen to that, and when you know, really know, then perhaps we can end our war.”
“You know I love you.”
“Yes, but that is not what I am talking about. Listen beyond all that.”
“I am lost.”
“I think maybe you are, yes.” Torrullin rose. He
slowly walked on. Which means I am lost, too.
He was a fair distance away by the time Elianas caught up. Long fingers reached out to twist him around. Elianas stood heaving there and Torrullin shifted his weight to invade Elianas’ space.
“Talk.”
“Matter cannot be created or destroyed, merely changed in state. Energy is part of matter; it is life and light. If we are energy, we are simply changed state.”
“And you manipulate energy.”
“Yes.”
“It is a power that cannot be removed, because it is a part of everything. Thus, I have space-time and you have energy. Together we have all.”
“A powerful incentive to take control.”
Torrullin leaned closer. “Really?”
“Are you tempting me?”
“I am.”
“It’s working.”
“I know.”
“The soul is the seat of all feeling,” Elianas murmured.
“It is also pure energy,” Torrullin responded.
“Oh, you are good.”
“Do you want to continue the war?” Torrullin asked, altering his stance. His inner thigh brushed Elianas’ leg.
Elianas flinched.
“Yes or no?” Torrullin taunted.
“Yes.”
Torrullin smiled and wrapped one arm around Elianas’ head, drawing the man against him. He whispered in his ear, “Then you had better tell me how this power works, so that I may know what it is I seek to strip from you.”
Elianas, fluid in the embrace, said, “You play with fire.”
“We shall see who gets burnt soon enough,” Torrullin murmured. When Elianas’ hands ran down his back towards his rear he stepped closer rather than moving away from those roving hands.
Elianas yanked himself aside.
Torrullin laughed, and began walking back to the faraway fire.
Elianas caught up halfway there, his expression shuttered. “It isn’t the best idea to tell them about this power.”
“They know of Elixir’s.”
“Not how it works.”
“Then simply reveal what you can do,” Torrullin said. “My shoulder throbs and I felt you wince. How does energy feel?”
“How many laws apply here?” Another step, two. “It is like smoke, Torrullin. With enough fuel a fire can smoke long, and that is subject to the whims of the elements, ethereal tendrils able to seep in or diffuse as directed. Or manipulated.”
“That is how you entered realms.”
“Yes, without form.”
Torrullin glanced at him. “I wondered how you became a true immortal.”
Elianas shrugged. “Enter and exit enough realms, and it is the result.”
“Was that the reason?”
“You were the reason.”
“We walked away when we chose to separate after Nemisin. Can we do that again?”
Elianas met his gaze. “We delayed, Torrullin, and only in this cycle.”
“There are no more cycles now. The way is changed; surely we can also?”
“We have changed.”
“Yet some issues remain the same. You refuse to answer.”
Elianas shrugged. “Because I don’t know.”
“Then I await you.”
“What does that mean?”
Torrullin lifted a shoulder. “Betrayal begat betrayal begat betrayal … begets betrayal. If I started it, you must end it.”
“Yes, your confession has somewhat changed perception.”
Torrullin flicked him another glance. “Good.”
“You play with fire, my brother. Remember I am the fire. Why do you taunt this time? You retreated before.”
“I gave you space before. It was never retreat. This time I refuse to grant those opportunities. You will come to know with me crowding you.”
“Know what?” Elianas asked.
“Ah, let us not make it easy. A war requires danger, and a hand not played.”
Elianas gave a snort of laughter. “You make a mockery of old age, brother. Under that civilised veneer of yours, you are as impetuous as a youth.”
Torrullin sent him an amused look. “I keep you on your toes.”
“Ah, yes, this time you have astonished me.”
They came upon their boots and sat on the sand to dry feet and don them.
“Can a manipulation of energy get us out of here?”
“If it is the answer, yes.”
Torrullin frowned as he laced. “I wonder if the veil referred to on that door is the membrane between this within and a more general inside?”
“Perhaps the veil is the remains of ignorance.”
Torrullin finished with his boots. “Ignorance?”
Elianas glanced up, a smile on his lips. “Ours.”
“We could read it a thousand ways. A sword can slay a dragon, after all.”
“A dragon’s fire can melt a sword.”
“But you are the fire,” Torrullin said.
“You are the fuel.”
“A dilemma.”
Elianas rose without a word, and extended his hand. Torrullin took it and was on his feet. He made a move towards the fire, and was held back.
“Please crowd me, brother,” the dark man whispered. “Give me all the fuel I need.”
Torrullin stilled. “Oh, you are good.”
Together they returned to Saska and Declan.
THE TIME AWAY, brief as it was, gave new insight.
As Torrullin and Elianas neared their companions, they saw something unnoticed before.
Elianas frowned first, his gaze on Saska.
Torrullin strode over. He knelt before her and took her hands in his own. Cold hands. “Are you all right?”
“I’m tired,” she murmured, looking at him in surprise.
Perhaps that was it. He chafed her hands between his to warm them. “Maybe it won’t be so bad to make another round of coffee.”
She smiled. “Let me at it.”
“No, I will do it,” Elianas offered, and set to.
Torrullin released Saska and glanced at Declan. The Siric did not fare well either. Torrullin sat with him, slightly back to view the wing nubs. There was no new growth.
“Does it hurt?”
“What … oh, my wings. No, they are numb.”
“It’s not usual, is it?”
“No.”
“Can you manage?”
“I will until we get out of here,” Declan muttered. “That dunking took many reserves, I think.”
Energy released, yes. He glanced at Elianas, who gazed back with concern. He sees it, too.
Elianas’ long fingers worked with inherent grace as he toiled over the fire. Once the pot was set to boiling, he looked up. “I can build bridges.”
Torrullin was entranced by those hands. “Explain.”
Elianas went on with the coffee process. “Energy has flow, direction, even when it appears random.” He glanced at the bizarre sky. “Here there is no direction, which is why we seem to go nowhere. I am able to bridge the flows, create direction.”
“Actual bridges?” Saska asked, similarly entranced by his deft hands.
“That is Enchanter magic. That kind of magic has endurance; this has not. It works as long as it is viewed.”
Declan said, “In other words, there will be a bridge as long as we look at it.”
“As long as I look at it.”
“Kind of, well, iffy,” Saska murmured.
“One cannot hold energy, Saska,” Elianas replied. “It will work, I promise.”
“You have used it, right?”
He grinned at her. “You don’t trust me?”
She opened her mouth to deny and then frowned. A moment later she was ashamed of herself. “I am sorry.”
Elianas murmured, “You have seen Torrullin do his best and his worst and thus you know his magic. Mine is unknown.”
“I do know you won’t allow Torrullin to come to harm.”
Torrullin laug
hed, saying, “Do not be too sure. We have a history to refute your statement.”
Elianas licked his lips and looked up directly into Saska’s eyes. “I will not harm you and I will not harm the Siric, I promise.”
Saska was shocked. “Gods, man.”
Declan shook his head. “What of direction, Elianas? A bridge is good, but where to?”
Elianas took the small pot off the fire as the water boiled, and poured. Stirring, he murmured, “There is only one way to find out.”
“First we sleep and then we load coconuts. We are not leaving here unprepared,” Torrullin stated.
“This is interlude,” Elianas nodded. He rose to hand out coffee, and sank down beside Torrullin. “There is something I need to tell you.” He lowered his voice further and leaned close to Torrullin’s ear. “Energy is like electricity, right? Current, outflow, strength. I feel it, all the time. Yours is ever in overdrive, even when you sleep.”
“Get to the point.”
“Saska is fading.”
Torrullin stilled. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. We cannot linger here.”
Torrullin lowered his mouth to his coffee, and scalded his tongue. He glanced at Declan, including Saska in his next words. “Elianas tells me he feels a directional indicator. We must follow it while it exists.”
“Now?” Saska questioned.
“Now,” Torrullin said. He managed to swallow his coffee and clambered to his feet. With Elianas’ help he stuffed as many coconuts as could go into the pack and shouldered it.
Declan threw handfuls of sand over the fire, finished his coffee and got to his feet. He looked at Saska. “Can you manage without boots?”
“I’ll have to.”
“We will carry you, if necessary,” Torrullin said, and faced Elianas. “Do your thing, brother.”
Elianas gave a quick smile and closed his eyes.
When he opened them, he faced away and pointed with one sure hand. Over the water a grey span appeared, and he headed to it immediately. “Stay close,” he warned, and stepped onto something that should not exist.
Declan followed and then Saska, with Torrullin bringing up the rear.
Valaris
Menllik
TRISTAN STOOD AT the foot of the bed.
Lore of Sanctum Omnibus Page 85