Caballa sat up. “Tristan?”
“I said I am not him, Caballa, and I meant it, but I have been trying to be him, and that is wrong.”
Caballa, wisely, did not say anything.
“Torrullin said I wasn’t like him, I had not his capacity for … I don’t know, some negative thing, but, funny thing is, I wanted to be. It did not matter that he was trying to tell me to be my own self. Taking over his Kaval - do you know how hard that was, and is? He said the fact I look like him will make it easier at first, but I took it to mean I also had to act like him. Caballa, I have no idea how he acts when he is somewhere else, and it frustrated me. Tonight I met Tymall and in a few words understood I had to say no, not to Torrullin, but to my idea of Torrullin as self.” He sat on the bed.
“Good for Tymall,” Caballa murmured.
“I thought I had to be like Torrullin so you will love me.”
“Oh, Tristan, that is far from the truth.”
“I am sorry.”
She clambered across to him and put her arms around him. “I love you because you are Tristan.”
He buried his face in her neck. “I know it now.”
“I am sorry, too.”
“For what?”
“I threw him in your face today.”
He pulled her close. “I have been doing it all along. Can we move on?”
She smiled. “I think we can, yes.”
Chapter 24
Shadow and shade, a mental representation of some haunting experience
~ Titania Dictionary
Path of Shades
“AMAZING,” DECLAN MURMURED. “It seems unreal, yet it is solid. Elianas, how many times have you done this?”
“In here, never.”
“Elsewhere,” Declan snapped.
“A few times.”
“Like this?”
“It is always different.”
“This will lead us out?”
“It has not failed me yet.”
“So you don’t know.”
Elianas shrugged. “I believe the risk has merit.”
“Gods, Torrullin, you trust this?” Declan demanded.
“Can I do this?” he asked.
“Not that I am aware of.”
“Yet here we are walking on water in a space that exists more in the mind than it can in reality,” Torrullin murmured. “And I bring up the rear. Yes, I trust this.”
“The real question you should ask, Siric, is whether he trusts me,” Elianas said from the front.
“No, Elianas,” Saska said. “Do you trust Torrullin?”
“I think I must, or I would not traipse through the spaces like this on a whim.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“The labyrinths of the soul, unfort …” Elianas froze, and twisted around.
Torrullin stared at him over the heads of the other two. “An astute accidental remark, I think.”
“Elianas!” Saska shouted.
Swearing, Elianas jerked back and pointed to stabilise the ethereal bridge. It began to dissipate as soon as he turned away.
“Well, now we have no choice but to trust this,” Declan muttered.
“Labyrinths of the soul or mind, Elianas?” Torrullin called out.
“Some would say they are the same.” He did not turn again, but walked on steadily, and as he walked the bridge lengthened.
Looking behind him, Torrullin noted how it shortened from that side. It was disconcerting. “The mind may influence the soul, and vice versa, but mind and soul are separate. Wouldn’t you agree, Declan?”
“Yes,” the Siric affirmed.
“What say you, Saska?” Elianas prompted.
“I say you duck the question.”
Elianas laughed.
“Where do shadows lurk most?” Declan murmured.
“The soul,” Elianas said.
“The mind,” Torrullin laughed.
“A fundamental opposite in view,” Elianas said.
“Like much else,” Torrullin threw back.
“Stop it,” Saska snapped, “and concentrate.”
“Multi-tasking.”
“Damn it, Elianas, you try my patience.”
“Consider this, Saska. In order to escape this nothingness we need find an answer. That answer, we now believe, is the understanding of where we are and in what state we perform. Know your place and know yourself, and you will be rewarded with a future. This bridge, this dubious power I have, it is the result of that insight, and it is the product of brinkmanship. In this answer lies the labyrinth where shadows mark the corners of curves, remember? Do you see it? In revealing this power, the battle has escalated for the two of us, a battle prepared in the mind, or the soul, depending on one’s point of view.”
“This is not an answer,” Saska breathed. “It is another path only.”
“That is what I think, yes,” Elianas murmured.
“You two should have come alone,” Declan murmured.
“I told him,” Elianas laughed.
“Shut up and look to the bridge,” Torrullin said.
Elianas halted. His head swung one way and then the other. “It appears we have reached a crossroads.”
“How so?” Declan demanded.
Elianas lifted both hands and at right angles to the bridge two new paths opened, while the one they were on continued dead ahead.
“Choose, Torrullin,” Elianas called out. “Straight leads to an island, left leads to an island and, lo, right leads to an island.”
“Interludes?”
“Ahead is interlude, but the other two are new energy sources.”
“One dark, the other light?”
“Indeed.”
“Turn for the dark one.”
“And sit in darkness again?” Saska muttered.
“It is not lightless, Saska,” Torrullin murmured.
“It is the other,” Elianas affirmed.
“I don’t want to go there,” Saska said.
“Why should we?” Declan questioned.
Torrullin shrugged. “Go light, then.”
“It is not light that forms the Path, brother; it is lack of sufficient light strength. I would advise your original instinct.” Elianas moved his head incessantly to keep all three paths in view.
“Gods, I hope you two know what you are doing,” Declan said, and added, “Go towards the dark island, for pity’s sake.”
“Yes?” Elianas awaited confirmation.
“Dark,” Saska said reluctantly.
Elianas dropped his right hand and stilled his head into a left swing. Within a moment only one way was available to them. He made the sharp turn and walked on carefully.
The others followed, two filled with misgiving.
THEREAFTER NO CROSSROAD presented and there was no change in the watery landscape or the hue in the sky.
They walked for hours, speech gradually less until it vanished entirely.
Many hours after many hours later, Saska said, “I can’t go on.”
Torrullin passed the pack to Declan and lifted her onto his back.
More hours later they had given of every reserve and still no island appeared.
“Elianas, we must rest,” Declan whispered.
“Can’t, bridge will vanish, energy does not halt, energy does not grow weary.” His words were slurred. He gave most in that seemingly pointless walk.
Saska whispered, “I can walk now.”
Torrullin, wordless, let her slide from his back. He nearly buckled in the cessation of weight.
“Go to him. He is losing strength faster than we are.”
He stared at her, uncomprehending, dark rings under his eyes, and Saska repeated herself. He nodded and carefully went by her. At Declan he stopped and found a coconut shell in a side pocket of the pack. He squeezed past the Siric and dipped down to collect water. He drank and dipped again. Coming up on Elianas, he handed it over his shoulder. The man took it and drank.
Torrullin collec
ted another shell full and passed it forward. When Elianas was done he passed the hollow back to Declan, who did the same for himself and Saska. She now brought up the rear and seemed stronger.
“How much further, brother?” Torrullin asked.
“There is no distance here.” Elianas managed a shrug. “With every step I hope to find the island. It was not this hard on previous byways.”
“Different rules. How is she?”
“Stronger. Purpose has given strength. The Siric worries me now.”
“It has become obvious, too,” Torrullin murmured. Declan was pale and strained, and weakening fast. “But I discern no purpose.”
“Action is purpose.”
Torrullin rested a hand on Elianas’ shoulder. “How are you faring?”
A wry laugh answered.
“Use whatever I have left.” He moved his fingers to Elianas’ neck.
A hand lifted to press those fingers to skin. “You are exhausted, Torrullin, but inside your energy swirls unstoppable.”
“Use it.”
Holding his hand in place over those fingers, Elianas moved on a little faster. After a few steps he said, “Sometimes I wish life was normal for us, and we could be brothers without the added tension. You are one of the few people I actually like to be with.”
“I know.” Torrullin’s heart beat a little faster.
“What destroyed it?”
“It began, I think, with the coercion enchantment we devised.”
Declan glanced over his shoulder at Saska and she nodded at him. It was the first time Torrullin and Elianas had been normal with each other. Exhaustion stripped away the layers.
Elianas sighed. “Something so small leading to such great consequence.”
“I still believe we had no choice.”
“Agreed. We needed water more than Nemisin needed fountains. The weather was too hot and windy that cycle.”
“First cycle.”
“Yes. I tend to view second cycle as the decision-maker, though.”
“Second cycle was your Ritual, and the rest of it.”
“They have become one in my mind,” Elianas admitted. “We did not ever overlap events and thus is has continuity hard to separate.”
“I have the same long view.”
“It fits, though, doesn’t it? It is all one.”
“Indeed.”
“Will we go back?”
“If we do, it will be far away. The curve is so huge now we may need forever first. Or we may diverge this time into another universe and into new cycles.”
“An attractive thought.”
“Difference?”
“Yes, difference.”
Torrullin’s heart lurched in hope.
Elianas stopped and Torrullin walked into him. “Get Declan up here to share energy; he is about to fall.”
The Siric was indeed toppling over and Saska’s gasp of dismay was loud. Torrullin caught the Siric, swung him in a dance-like action until he was between himself and Elianas. The pack, unluckily, went sinking into the depths.
“Declan, can you hear me?” The Siric nodded. “Place your hand on Elianas’ neck … just do it.”
Declan lurched forward, fell against the dark man, but Elianas had braced. He reached behind, found the Siric’s freezing fingers and pressed them firmly against his skin. It meant his own energy would now reduce, but he would do it until he could not give more. Torrullin moved up behind Declan to mirror the action at the Siric’s neck. He, too, would now lose energy and there would be no recharge flowing between himself and Elianas, but he would give all.
“Saska, please hold onto me; let us not lose you now,” he said over his shoulder.
She wedged her hand into the belted area around his waist and looked at him. “Is he all right?”
“His body constantly attempts to re-grow wings. It diminishes him.”
“How much longer can we do this?”
“Not long,” he admitted. “But we are not to surrender, do you hear? Fight, Saska, fight with all those furies inside you.”
She leaned against him, her forehead on his back, her free hand splayed over his shoulder blade, and for that moment drew strength from his nearness. She would love him forever; she would fight, yes, to remain in spaces he occupied. She drew breath, straightened, and found his gaze on her. She smiled, and the smile he returned proved he knew exactly why she chose to go on. That he loved her also she never doubted.
“Let’s go,” she murmured.
A moment more he looked at her. “Elianas, we can go on.”
Elianas started moving again. It was a slow duck-like waddle from there, a connected chain of weary souls.
Valaris
“YOU MUST RETURN to the Dome, Tris. This waiting is plain unhealthy,” Caballa said.
He nodded.
“If I see more I will let you know, promise.”
Tristan paced the patio, shivering again. “Where is Cassy?”
“Staying with Vanar, but she can’t help.”
“Surely we can do something?”
“We can be strong for them.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose, a gesture so reminiscent of Torrullin that she shivered. “Being strong isn’t good enough. The Digilan plan didn’t work; now I am going to set the Kaval onto it.”
She smiled. “Good.” It would keep him busy until something changed. “Now go.”
He grinned and kissed her. “Will you talk to Tian?”
“Of course, and he probably already understands.”
He kissed her again, and was gone.
Chapter 25
Shadows hide souls with greater impact than darkness is able to.
~ Scroll of Wisdom
The Dome
THE DRAGON OGIVE chimed and those inside the Gatherer’s Circle wondered who would come striding in.
It was Tristan. He looked remarkably like Elixir, but walked differently; at first, it was the only way they could tell them apart.
The console was unmanned when Tristan reached it. The lights blinked at him, then stilled. Belun, at the table, looked over questioningly. Tristan nodded and Belun called all to the slab for conference. As they came, they spoke greetings.
Most were out and thus it was only Belun, Quilla, Fuma, Lowen and Erin who took seats.
Tristan leaned on the console. “First, how goes Lax?”
Belun gave reply. “Well. All projects are running and education has commenced.” He paused. “I don’t know if this is relevant, but Amunti has reported a settling in of apathy over Laxians. He says he begins to feel the same. Fuma believes it may be some kind of chemical residue …”
“It isn’t. I shall explain shortly. Quilla, Echolone?”
“The mining conglomerates have commenced clean-up and Beacon is locked in negotiation with Echolone’s leaders.”
“Apathy?”
“Not yet, no.”
Fuma spoke, “Lax is not alone in apathy.”
Tristan nodded. “It is time to tell you a story, I believe.”
Quilla gave his wise little smile and Lowen looked at her hands.
Tristan left the console and perched on the slab. He glanced at Lowen and began. “When Lowen vanished into Time, fourteen of us set out to retrieve her. I believe you are aware of the other factors, particularly the redress of an ancient crime on behalf of the world below. Yet I will warrant nobody was given the full tale. In fact, if I were to guess, you were only told all is well.”
Fuma said, “Quilla told us Grinwallin was at peace, as was Teighlar, and the future is secured in the form of the present we know. Sabian as Agnimus was explained, and not much else. Considering little altered, and everyone emerged safely, with Lowen, we chose not to push. Torrullin was singularly uncommunicative, and we had to be happy with the situation.”
“Then I shall fill in the blanks,” Tristan said.
“Why?” Erin frowned.
“Because Torrullin needs our help, as does Declan.” Trista
n glanced at Lowen again. “And Saska.”
She sucked at her teeth.
They waited on him, practised in waiting, knowing questions at inception could delay a telling.
Tristan shifted to a more comfortable position. “I will not bother you with how we entered into the realm of Time, or how we left. I need you to understand what happened in there, for those results we now grapple with. First result, Torrullin is an Ancient …”
Fuma smiled. “We guessed that already.”
“Good, then you are not surprised. Torrullin took us back to Nemisin’s time, seeking to redress the crime of Orb. When we got there we realised we had altered that ancient time. Nemisin was not the bloodthirsty monster we envisioned and he had not built the mountain enclave. He hadn’t even conceived of the Throne. We understood, if he did not do so, our entire future would cease. No Dome, no other races, no Valleur future, nothing would be as we know it.”
“Bugger,” Erin muttered.
“We had to force Nemisin into achieving these things, including the massacre of the Diluvans. Orb had to be attacked for Grinwallin to be, for the Luvans to evolve, for the Senlu, and for the Valleur of this time.”
Erin said, “Impossible. Huge achievements. You would still be there.”
Tristan nodded. “Correct. There was another way, and we used it. We employed the void Grinwallin protects. In that Void lay all futures, all pasts, all worlds and spaces, and we could restore the status quo by sacrificing ourselves to it.”
“A mighty risk,” Fuma frowned.
“It worked,” Tristan said. “Teighlar no longer desires redress, Grinwallin isn’t a threat, the Valleur have their long history, ancient enemies are now allies and the rest of us go on as before.”
“But?” Belun prompted.
“There were side effects.”
Quilla sighed. “I wish I had known of them before.”
“I am certain Torrullin feels the same,” Tristan agreed. “Before the Time realm we knew a universe on the scales, seesawing between balance and unbalance, and we functioned in it without thought for what would happen if the scales stopped moving.”
“A good analogy,” Quilla murmured.
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