1989: Once Bitten, Twice Shy: Love in the '80s: A New Adult Mix
Page 5
“I will. I promise. How’s everything?” By everything I mean job hunting. He catches my drift.
“No luck yet. I go out every day, but nothing is hiring. Wish things would pick up and the factory would call me back before December.”
December is when tuition is due.
“Yeah, I do too. Look, I’m looking into getting a job, too.”
“No.” He’s always been against this. “Bug, you focus on school and makin’ good grades. You learn and be the first of us to graduate college. That’s what you do.”
I don’t ask how I’m supposed to make that happen if I can’t afford to go here.
“Besides, I have some feelers out. Between the scholarships and whatnot, I only have to find about four thousand dollars for you. I can do that.”
Four thousand dollars.
I fall back on my bed.
If I do what Dana wants, I’ll have that plus some. My father wouldn’t have to worry. I would make him proud by graduating. Is it worth ruining someone’s life over it, though?
“Don’t you worry a bit, Bug. I promise I’ll find a way to get that money. You don’t worry your pretty head about it. Your job is to study. My job is to take care of you. That’s how this thing works.”
“That a fact?” I wipe a rogue tear that fell down my cheek. If I get the five thousand, I can tell him I applied and got a new scholarship. He’d believe me. He’d have no reason to think I was lying to him.
“Yes, ma’am. That’s a fact. Is that all you called for or is there something you need?”
I need to hear your voice. “Nah, that’s it. Just wanted to talk a little bit. I’d better get back to this homework.”
“Good thing the classes got canceled so you could have extra time for it.”
My heart hurts. “Yeah. Good thing. I’ll talk to you later, okay, Dad?”
“’Kay. Love you, Bug.”
“Love you.”
I hang up and cry into my pillow for a good ten minutes. I’m not a crier. I can’t remember the last time I actually had tears fall down my cheeks. They fall now. I have this incredible opportunity to get the money I need and make my father proud, but would he be proud if he knew how I had to get it?
Does Chad Harris really have a drug problem? Is it something I need to show to the masses?
Can I really live with myself if I do this?
Would it break my father’s heart if I couldn’t pay for my last semester of college?
A few minutes before one, I get up, pushing all sorts of feelings back down where they belong. I go wash my face, put on my makeup, and put on a royal blue, off the shoulder tunic shirt with white tights. I wrap my ankle again and secure it better with high top, white LA Gears.
I grab my backpack, toss my polaroid camera inside, and head to turn in my work. Then I’ll wait for Chad in the lobby of the dorm. He’ll never know what hit him.
God, please forgive me.
Chad buzzes right at three. Casey, apparently a huge Chad Harris fan, beats me to the door and pretty much falls on her face in front of him. He is cordial and kind. He takes the time to talk to her, smile at her not funny jokes, signs a book for her, and waves as she walks by. Thank goodness it was just me and Casey in the lobby or Chad and I would never get to leave.
I’ve steeled my nerves. I know what I have to do and I can do it. If proof of drug use, selling, or paying for sex is what Dana needs, then I’ll do it. One way or another.
I’m not too proud for this.
Chad smiles as he walks toward me. His dimples are shining, and I do believe he is one of the most handsome men I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. Part of me wants to enjoy this moment, right now before everything falls apart. I want to imagine this is a real date and a real genuine connection is being formed between us. If I let myself, I could believe it.
I really do think I could fall for Chad.
When he gets to me, he leans down and gently kisses my cheek.
The weight of the polaroid camera is almost too much for me to bear. What am I doing?
What you have to do.
“You look beautiful.”
“So do you… I mean, handsome. You look handsome.” Am I blushing? I cannot be blushing.
He bites his lip sheepishly. “Thanks. I try,” he adds with a wink.
What’s my name again?
He offers me his arm and I take it. The same electricity that flowed through my body yesterday at his touch has returned. It’s like he’s a magnet, pulling me toward him. The feeling is overpowering, and for a second, I can’t breathe. But I keep waking with my arm wrapped around his, trying to remember to smile and laugh at all the right times, trying to forget all about the camera in my bag and what I intend to do with it.
He leads me to the parking lot and I stop and stare. “What. Is. That?” I don’t think my feet will ever move again. I keep telling them to keep going. They don’t move a bit. I can’t… whoa.
Chad laughs. He places his hands around my waist and pulls me flush against him. I can feel every part of him, and boy howdy. “It’s called a limo.”
“I know that.” I’m in awe. “What is it doing here?”
I’m not the only person who wonders that. Several people are hovering around it trying to see which famous person is on campus. Turns out, I’m with him.
“I thought we’d take it to dinner.”
“No… I thought you wanted to be incognito.”
He shrugs. “I also want to show you a good time. I mean, we can grab a cab if you want and I can tell the driver to go home.”
I smack him on the arm playfully and head for the black stretch limousine. It is impressive. I never thought I’d get to ride in one of these. Ever. Sure this job stinks, but it certainly has its perks.
One strange perk is how everyone looks at me as I walk, arm in arm, with Chad Harris toward the limo they have all been gawking at. One or two people pull out a camera and snap a picture. Who would have a camera conveniently in their pocket? Did they think something would happen throughout the day that needed documented?
People are weird.
Course, I have a camera in my bag… but for a totally different and unethical reason.
I have to stop thinking about that. I’m with Chad now. I have a job to do, and I will do it well.
Chad opens the limo door for me, and motions for me to get inside. The collective group of gawkers go “awww.” All except for the blond in the back… her eyes meet mine. Amy looks incredibly confused.
I wave, but she’s already turned and walked away. She thinks I’ve kept this all from her. Ugh. This isn’t going at all like I planned. This stupid job is ruining everything.
“Something the matter?” Chad whispers in my ear, making a river of chill bumps roll down my arms. He needs to stop doing that, or heck, do it more. I wouldn’t complain.
I shake my head no because I don’t trust myself to speak. I get in and slide over so he has room. And my God, he has room!
This is a huge, ten seat limo. There is a bar to my right and a speaker system that would make anyone jealous to the left. The window is rolled down between the driver and us. “Amerigos,” Chad says.
The driver nods and rolls up the window before starting on our adventure.
I’m not sure what to do. If Chad planned on knocking me off my game, he certainly did. If he planned on impressing me, then he did that as well. I’m just… wow.
“How’s your ankle and your…” He motions toward my bottom area. I’d almost forgotten about it.
“Better. Much better. Thank you for asking.” I don’t feel it is appropriate to tell him my butt looks like a smurf. People don’t need to share such details.
“You’re welcome. Would you like something to drink? We have water, wine, champagne...”
I have never had champagne in my life. I’ve had wine once or twice, but never champagne. Still, as tempting as it is, I really need my head on straight when it comes to Chad. He already has my mind
turned upside down as it is. If I get alcohol in me, I have no idea what I’d do. I don’t trust myself.
I have enough of my mother’s genes in me to crave the bubbly liquid.
As if sensing my inner turmoil, Chad grabs the champagne and opens it in an impressive feat of agility. This isn’t his first rodeo. “One small glass won’t kill you. It looks like you might be a little tense.”
“Who says I’m tense?”
“Your shoulders. Your posture. The way you keep biting your lip. Where is that relaxed girl I had coffee with yesterday?” He pours some champagne in a glass. Oh my, that’s fancy.
“We weren’t in a limo then and you weren’t offering me champagne.”
He laughs and hands me the drink. I shouldn’t take a sip. I need to be of sound mind… still, one drink never hurt anyone. Famous last words. I put the glass to my lips, start to take a sip, when I shake my head. I can’t… I can’t. “I’m sorry.” I had it back to him. “Please take no offense. It’s that, my mother had a bit of a problem with drinking and… drugs…” I eye him to see if he flinches. He doesn’t. What does that mean? “And I don’t think I want to follow in her footsteps.”
He takes the glass from me and tilts his head. “I’d never want you to be anything you aren’t, Nancy. Ever. You can be truthful with me, and I won’t judge.”
I wish I could tell him the truth. I wish I could tell anyone the truth. All these secrets are getting to me. Once Bitten is a fun business when it deals with cheating boyfriends and guys who are jerks, but this has become way too real. I have no idea how to get off of this train. I sure wish I did.
“I also won’t let a good champagne go undrunk.” He tosses the drink back and kills it in one swallow. By the face he makes, I don’t think that was a good idea.
“Good?” I cringe. He doesn’t look happy.
“Never better.” He tries to smile as he sets the glass down on the tray. “I’m not much of a drinker myself, either. The occasional beer. Nothing more than that.”
“Really? I figured you for the all indulgences type.”
“Nope.” He runs his fingers over the crease of his black pants. “Not me. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy myself. Mainly with the female population. But I’m not a player and I’m not someone who drinks a lot or does drugs. I’m not perfect. Not by a long shot, but I know I want to do better. I’m not who the tabloids say I am. I hope I can convince you of that.” Chad leans closer to me and gently places his lips to my cheek. My eyes automatically close as I imagine him kissing lower. My neck could use a good kiss or two.
He backs away, though. Only a simple kiss on the cheek and I’m ready to jump him here and now. I need another cold shower. Wasn’t I the one who got on to Amy for giving her virginity to Johnny Slade? Am I seriously considering doing the same thing? Have I completely lost my mind?
How many people has Chad been with? How many other girls has he made feel special, had sex with, then never called again?
He might not think he’s what the tabloids say he is, but I think that maybe he is.
And the part about no drugs? Is that a huge lie to get on my good side? It has to be. Dana has no reason to lie to me and she sure has no reason to give me five thousand dollars to prove something that isn’t true.
He’s lying to me.
The question is why.
I reach over and take his hand in mine. If he can play this game, so can I. “I’m looking forward to our date tonight.” I rub my fingers over his, lean over with the intention of kissing his cheek. Turnabout is fair play. I don’t reach his cheek. My lips connect right on his lips which are soft and supple and very kissable. Any other time I’d be happy to be kissing him, right now, now I’m mortified.
My eyes fly open and I jerk back, instantly breaking the connection between us. Instantly, I feel empty, like I’d had the best thing in the world and now it’s gone…or a nice big piece of chocolate cake. That’s Chad, chocolate cake sitting behind a glass case that I can’t have.
“I’m…”
“Don’t.” His gaze burns me, his eyes dark, and dare I say, primal. His voice is hoarse, and I feel the chill bumps forming on my skin again. This has to stop. There is no way in the world I want this to stop.
I always thought I was smart. This… this isn’t smart.
But his eyes.
And his lips.
And that kiss, however unintentional.
“Don’t you dare say you are sorry,” he commands as his fingers lightly trace the skin of my cheek. My eyes shut as the feeling of warmth and need wash over me. Never in my life have I wanted someone as much as I want Chad Harris, and I hate myself for it.
“I am sorry,” I gulp out. He needs to know. “I didn’t mean to… do… that.”
His dimples will be the death of me. “It was one kiss, Nancy. I don’t think we should be writing our vows.”
“Guess not. I don’t suppose the Romeo of the tabloids has ever thought about marriage.” I mean it as a joke. The look Chad gives me makes me think he doesn’t take it that way.
“You’d be surprised by what I think.”
The limo stops abruptly and I question where we are. I can’t see out of the tinted windows so Chad could have me at some abandoned cabin in the woods to do whatever he wants with me. I push that thought way away. He wouldn’t do that. I trust him too much. My God, I trust him.
This can’t be good.
I wonder if he trusts me.
Two people with separate agendas doing this little tango until one of us breaks. I wonder if it will be me or him? It doesn’t matter. When he finds out what I’m doing, he will never forgive me. I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive myself.
The doors unlock. Chad sighs and swallows hard. “Ready for this?”
“As I’ll ever be.” Think about my father, think about tuition, think about my job and what I have to do to get ahead in this world. Think about all the reasons I have to do this, and push aside the one reason I don’t want to.
This is not where I thought we’d end up.
Amerigo’s is a small Italian restaurant on First Avenue. This is not on First Avenue. It isn’t even a restaurant.
“Is this…”
“My place? Yes.” Chad beams. I think he’s trying to impress me. He’s done a good job of it. This building is massive. It is an older apartment building by the looks of the chipping exterior and tired landscaping. But the building itself is wow. It has to be at least twenty stories and the top floor is full of balconies.
“You have an apartment on the top floor, I assume.”
“No, I have the entire top floor.” He smiles and reaches for my hand. “Remember, Nancy. Don’t assume things.”
Chad’s gaze locks with mine. I try to look away and I can’t. He’s pulling me toward him with just a look. I need out of here before I do something I regret.
Before I can say anything, his lips crash into mine. He’s not soft, not gentle, but he is exactly what I need. I allow him to part my lips, hell I encourage it. He wraps his arms around me and I have to stand on my tiptoes so I don’t fall over. My entire world shifts and I feel myself falling. Not falling physically, but falling emotionally. I can’t let this happen. I don’t see any way out.
Rustling from the bushes catches our attention and he lets me go. I peer over there. Whatever it was is long gone. “Animal maybe?”
“Maybe.” He answers like he’s not buying it. He motions for the limo driver to depart and soon we are here alone.
“I know this is not a normal first date situation.”
“Technically it is our second date,” I correct.
“Alright, technically it isn’t a normal second date situation and I know I should have asked your permission first, but I didn’t want to scare you off.”
“Scare me off?”
His brow raises high on his forehead. “Yeah, ‘cause you know it isn’t typical for a guy to take a girl to his penthouse apartment on a date when they haven’t known each othe
r long. The girl might presume that the guy has impure thoughts.”
“And do you… have impure thoughts?” I bite my lip waiting for his answer. This isn’t like me. Why would I have to fall hard for this guy out of every guy I’ve dealt with for Once Bitten. I’m a moron. A moron who loves this man’s dark eyes more than anything else in the world at the moment.
He smiles slyly. “Not in the slightest, ma’am. I promise to be on my best behavior.”
“Good,” I say, slightly sad. It isn’t like I’d sleep with him tonight, or any night. I will not be like Amy, crying into my pillow. Still, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for Chad Harris to have impure thoughts about me. I mean, I’m still a woman, after all.
I take his offered arm and limp in through the front door. There isn’t a doorman. Not even a security desk. “I don’t stay in one place long, really. I can’t with the photographers on my tail at every turn. I’ll stay one place for a while and move. I’ve been here about a month.”
“Must be a really sad life.”
“It has its perks.” He nudges me with his hip, making me giggle.
“I suppose.”
We get on the elevator and he pushes the 20th floor button. We don’t talk very much going up. I don’t know about him, but I’m nervous. I hold my bag close to my shoulder, feeling the incredible weight of my camera. I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. I thought I knew. Now I’m not so sure.
Why can’t life be simple?
Maybe it is? I needed money, God provided me money.
Simple, right?
Only it doesn’t feel simple.
“You are very quiet,” he notices.
When I look at him, he’s staring down at me, studying me like he can see inside my soul. I don’t want him to see me that deeply. He wouldn't like what he sees. “Just thinking.”
“About what?”
“About what your apartment is like. Why we came here instead of a restaurant? What’s the price of water in China?”
He laughs at the last lame attempt at a joke. “I’m not sure about China, but here the water is free. And as for why we are here and not a restaurant, look it’s difficult for me to be out in the world. Someone always recognizes me and it isn’t always pleasant. You should see the angry dad glares I get. Most people are well intentioned, but if we had gone out somewhere, it would have more than likely ended badly.