Dark Lessons

by Julia Sykes

  “Easy,” he urged gently, still stroking my hair. “You’re safe with me.”

  But you’re not safe with me.

  I kept the words locked behind my lips. I didn’t fully understand it, but I couldn’t deny the blind panic that gripped me at Jason’s nearness.

  “Let me go,” I begged.

  His jaw firmed. “No. We’re going to have a talk. And I’m never letting you go again.”

  His eyes took on a feverish light as he said the last. He appeared maddened, almost feral.

  I struggled to find calm, even though I couldn’t stop shaking. There had to be some way I could reason with him.

  “You can’t keep me here against my will,” I asserted, trying to make him see how insane the prospect was. I ignored the dark part of myself that yearned for him to follow through on his promise and continued to defy him. “You can’t do this.”

  His nostrils flared. “I can and I will.” I recognized the steely determination in his tone. “I’m going to keep you tied to my bed until you tell me where the hell you’ve been and who you’re working with. If I’m satisfied with your answers, I’ll figure out a way to protect you from the Bureau. If not…” He trailed off, leaving the threat hanging in the air.

  I swallowed hard. Division 9-C would disavow me if I were caught by the FBI. I’d go to prison for drug trafficking. Possibly even human trafficking, now that I’d become involved with Moreno’s people on US soil. Or my division might just assassinate me before I was even taken to the Bureau. They wouldn’t risk me spilling their secrets; they’d rather see me dead.

  But worse than that was the danger I posed to Jason every second I remained with him.

  “You have to let me go,” I pleaded, tugging against the cuffs. “I know you don’t want to hurt me. You’re a good man.”

  He barked out a bitter laugh that sounded nothing like the Jason I remembered. “Anything that was good in me died with you. You’ve let me believe you were dead all this time. You owe me answers. Hell, you owe me five years.” He leaned in close, his warm breath teasing across my lips. “No, I’m not going to hurt you. But I am going to punish you. If you won’t answer me willingly, I have other methods of interrogation.”

  Dark arousal stirred in response to his nearness and his deviant threats. Memories of how he’d once disciplined me in his office, bending me over his desk for my first spanking, stirred in my mind, surfacing for the first time in years. How could I have forgotten?

  Something inside me softened as an ache pulsed deep in my chest. His familiar, masculine scent surrounded me, intoxicating me, tempting me. I’d never forgotten Jason, but he’d become an abstract in my mind. I’d locked away all of the bittersweet memories of the time we’d shared together because I couldn’t bear them. Not when getting back to him was impossible. I wouldn’t risk his safety by returning to him.

  Confusion threaded through my mind. I didn’t understand how I was a threat to Jason, but I knew it deep in my bones.

  I have to keep him away from Alex.

  I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t allow Jason near Alex, but the prospect made fear grip my heart.

  “I can’t tell you anything,” I whispered.

  If I told Jason about Alex, he’d go after my handler. I had to keep them apart, no matter what. And I had to get away from Jason, or Alex would eventually come looking for me and find him.

  Jason’s face settled into a forbidding mask. His eyes were harder than they’d once been, and the fine lines around them were deeper than I remembered. But he was unmistakably the same man I’d fallen in love with, and something tugged at my soul, even under the weight of his fury.

  Mine.

  Something white-hot filled my chest, pressing against my lungs with burning heat as it expanded within me.

  Love.

  I’d forgotten what it felt like. This painful, beautiful, all-consuming emotion that made my heart soar and ache at the same time.

  I loved Jason. I had to save him.

  “Please let me go,” I begged. “You have to let me go.”

  His eyes flashed. “You’re not going anywhere. You’re going to answer my questions. And then, I’ll decide what to do with you. But understand this: even after I extract the answers I want, I’m not letting you get away from me. I lived without you for five years, and I’m not going to do it anymore. I don’t care what I have to do to keep you with me. You’re mine, Natalie. By the time I’m finished with you, you’ll remember that. You’ll never forget it again.”

  A thread of fear twined through the yearning that filled my chest. “You can’t do this to me.”

  “What about what you did to me?” he roared, his tenuous control snapping. “You ruined me! But you just went on with your life! And now, you’re working with the Colombians? They shot two cops, and you fucking attacked me and ran. Why did you run from me?” His shout broke on the final question, and his eyes tightened with pain.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered through my own agony. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come back to you. And I’m sorry I can’t tell you anything about where I’ve been or what I’ve been doing. You have to trust me and—”

  “Trust you?” he seethed. “That ship has sailed.” He leaned in close again. “I’m going to get the truth out of you, the only way I know how.”

  “What are you going to do to me?” I asked, my voice small. Fear still nipped at me, but my core began to throb with excitement I hadn’t felt in years.

  “I’m going to remind you of who I am. I’m your Master. I always have been. I always will be. And you don’t get to keep secrets from your Master.” His fingers curled beneath my chin, angling my face so my lips were offered up to him. “You belong to me, Natalie. You’ll never forget it again after today.”

  His mouth slanted over mine, gentle for only a moment. At the first contact, forgotten lust slammed into me, igniting my system with bliss. Tears formed at the corners of my closed eyes as the pure joy of his touch soared through me.

  He must have felt it too, because he snarled against my mouth, and his teeth sank into my lower lip. I parted for him on a gasp, and his tongue surged inside to tangle with mine. He kissed me in a frenzy, nothing refined or controlled in the way he claimed my mouth with raw intensity. His big hand cupped my jaw, tipping my head back farther so he could plunder more deeply.

  I moaned into him, and chains rattled as I struggled to hold him. My moan turned to a whimper when I couldn’t return his touch, but the fear of my restraints was absent. Memories of how he used to bind me, fuck me, love me, filled my mind, and my body heated for his domineering brand of lovemaking. I remembered everything, the recollections spilling out of a forgotten corner of my brain.

  Tears flowed, trailing over my temples and falling into my hair. He finally released my lips, only to brush feather-light kisses over my wet lashes. I shivered as emotion and carnal need overwhelmed me. His tenderness tore at my soul, the knowledge that I’d lost years with him causing me physical pain.

  But that pain wasn’t enough to blot out the desire that coursed through me.

  “Jason.” His name left my lips on a tormented whisper.

  “I’m right here,” he promised, pressing a reassuring kiss against my forehead. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  He drew back slightly, his hands bracketing my face so I couldn’t look away.

  “Where have you been?” he asked softly. “Why did you leave me?”

  “I can’t…” I choked on the refusal, but I forced it out. “I can’t tell you. I’m sorry.” I had to keep him safe. “You have to let me go. Please.”

  His eyes darkened with pain, but his lips firmed with determination. “That’s not happening. You’re not leaving this bed until you give up your secrets. I’m not going to let anything keep us apart any longer, not even you. You’re mine. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Jason, please…”

  His fingers curved around my throat, asserting his dominance with the slightest pressu
re. “Tell me,” he demanded. “Tell me what we both know. Say you belong to me.”

  My vision blurred as the tears fell faster. He gently wiped them away with his thumbs.

  “I can’t,” I whispered. If I gave in, I’d never be able to leave him again. And I had to leave him. To keep him safe.

  He regarded me intently, his jaw set. “You can and you will. I won’t let you hide from me. Not one second longer.”

  His hands fisted in my thin camisole, and the fabric tore with one jerk of his powerful arms. He’d come to me in the night, when I only wore the flimsy top and my white cotton underwear. Now, I was nearly naked, exposed in the one second it took him to strip me of so much more than my clothing. As his eyes devoured me, flaring with hunger and lust, he looked deeper than my flesh. There was nowhere for me to run, nowhere to hide. He stared at my soul, his gaze penetrating me as though he could discover all my secrets without a word passing through my lips.

  My nipples pebbled to hard buds, throbbing for attention as cool air washed over them. I arched my back in mindless invitation, tugging against my bonds as I instinctively sought to draw him closer.

  He didn’t touch me in the way I craved. Instead, he reached into the nightstand drawer and removed a pair of scissors. Fear coiled in my belly as they glinted silver in the light that filtered through the closed curtains.

  He rested his free hand on my stomach, the firm pressure reassuring me even as he pinned me in place.

  “Don’t move,” he ordered. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

  The cold metal whispered across my hipbone as he slid the blade beneath the band at the top of my panties. With a soft snick, the fabric parted. He quickly severed the other side before setting the scissors aside. Then, he gently pulled the ruined panties away from my body, exposing every inch of me to his ravenous gaze.

  I blew out a shaky breath. Adrenaline rushed through my veins in the wake of the hit of fear, making me lightheaded. My entire world centered on him: his touch, his will. I was completely helpless, laid out before him like a sacrifice.

  The prospect should terrify me, but all I felt was hunger. Yearning. I ached for him, a physical pain between my legs and in my heart.

  “Please,” I begged tremulously. “Touch me.”

  His eyes locked on mine, and the pressure of his hand on my abdomen increased slightly, a reminder of his possession of my body and soul.

  “Who am I?” he demanded.

  Master. My Master.

  I bit the inside of my cheek to hold the words in.

  After watching me for a few tense seconds, his fingers trailed down to tease at the upper edge of my soft curls. His other hand came up to cup my jaw, his thumb tracing the line of my cheekbone.

  “I know my sweet kitten’s in there somewhere,” he said with calm certainty.

  I’m right here, I wanted to say. I’m yours.

  He rubbed his thumb across my lips. “If you’re a good girl for me, you get to come. But you have to submit first.” His fingers teased through my curls to rest above my throbbing clit. “Surrender,” he urged. “Tell me you belong to me.”

  “Please…”

  A low, tormented sound eased up his throat. “I forgot how fucking sweet you are when you beg. But I can’t give you what we both want. Call me Master, and you get to come.”

  Two fingers teased around my clit in an excruciatingly slow circular motion. My core fluttered around nothing, craving for him to fill me and fuck me. I groaned my frustration and rotated my hips up toward him, seeking more stimulation.

  His hand left my sex, and a sharp sting flared on my inner thighs as he spanked them in rapid succession. I cried out as my skin began to burn, but the restraints around my ankles kept me open and at his mercy.

  “Naughty kitten,” he chastised. “You know better than that. I control your pleasure.”

  The burn turned to a delicious warmth that seeped into my flesh, moving up my thighs to heat my core. My labia became swollen and slick with my arousal.

  He stopped spanking me and trailed his fingertips across my enflamed skin, petting me where he’d disciplined me.

  A strangled sob left my chest. Everything about my predicament made my body and my soul ache.

  “Shhh,” he soothed me. “You’re okay. I’m going to take care of you. All you have to do is say you’re mine.”

  I whined in wordless protest. There was a reason I couldn’t give in. I couldn’t…

  Two fingers traced the line of my slick folds, gathering up the wetness there. He eased farther back, until his touch brushed across my asshole.

  “No,” I whimpered. I couldn’t handle it if he penetrated me there. I’d always been sensitive, but something about being touched in that forbidden way always made me melt for him.

  “I’m sorry, kitten,” he said roughly. “That’s not going to stop me. There’s only one way this ends. And that’s with you screaming out my name.”

  His fingers circled the puckered bud, teasing. At the same time, his thumb applied light pressure on my clit. I gasped, and my back arched as pleasure shot through me. His free hand left my face to toy with my breasts, pinching and tugging at my nipples in slow, glorious torture.

  “Your body remembers its Master,” he said, his voice dropping to that impossibly sexy, deep register that he found in his dominant headspace. I shuddered at the sound of it as my body responded with a flood of lust.

  “Tell me you’re mine,” he prompted, his voice floating to me as I fell into his intoxicating power. All thoughts of resistance were wiped away. There was no thought at all; only the sensations he was inflicting upon me and his will washing over me.

  His fingers pressed against my asshole, slipping inside me. The sensation of being filled by him tore what was left of my conscious mind to shreds.

  “Master!” I cried out as I clenched around the intrusion, my body uncertain if it wanted to push him out or invite him in. He continued to press in, penetrating me in a slow slide, my slick juices on his fingers easing the way.

  “Good girl.” His voice was thick with more than lust. “Come for me. Come for your Master.”

  His thumb pressed down hard on my clit, rubbing in an expert rhythm to wring ecstasy from my body. He continued to pinch and roll my abused nipples, lighting up my system with pleasure and pain.

  “Jason!” I exploded on a scream. White lights popped across my vision, and my eyes slid closed as ecstasy wracked my body. My inner muscles contracted around him, reminding me of the taboo way he filled me. He owned every inch of me, and I was powerless to resist the pleasure coursing through my system.

  Powerless.

  I began to twist against my bonds, my body writhing helplessly as the pleasure claimed me.

  Trapped.

  My blissful scream morphed into a horrified shriek as I fell into dark memories that I’d carefully locked away.

  A fresh jolt ripped through my body, the implant in my shoulder disabling my attempts to fight. Alex was coolly composed as he arranged my body on the padded table, cuffing my wrists at my sides and lifting my feet into the stirrups so I was spread open. I was in the horrific room where I’d found Elena being tortured. And my body was strapped down and vulnerable, just as hers had been.

  I tried taking deep breaths through clenched teeth, staving off the panic that threatened to bubble up and consume me.

  Cool air rolled over my skin, sending a chill through my flesh. It penetrated deep, seeping into my bones. My teeth began to chatter as Alex positioned my limp body where he wanted it.

  “This is going to be a difficult process,” he informed me calmly. “But I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

  “Fuck you,” I spat.

  He smiled, the sharp glint in his golden eyes belying the benign curve of his full lips. “Unfortunately, that’s not one of the perks of my job. We will have a purely professional relationship, Natalie.”

  “I don’t want this,” I forced out, struggling to make my th
ick tongue shape the words. “You said I had a choice to work with you or not. I don’t choose this.”

  His smile remained fixed in place. “You were allowed to choose to cooperate willingly. You chose wrong. You’re going to be a loyal, obedient agent. How long the process takes is up to you.”

  “What process? What are you going to do to me?” I couldn’t stop my voice from shaking. All my instincts told me to fight, but I’d been effectively and efficiently rendered completely powerless. I was naked and at Alex’s mercy. He could do anything to me, and there was nothing I could do to resist him.

  He picked up a syringe from a metal table set beside me. I tried to shrink away, but he easily sank the needle into the crook of my arm.

  “You’re going to start feeling it soon,” he told me. “Your heartbeat will pick up. Your pupils will dilate. Today, I’ll monitor your physical responses and get a baseline.”

  He began sticking wires at strategic points on my body: above my heart, on my temples. They were attached to machinery I didn’t understand, but Alex watched whatever readings he was getting with keen interest.

  My heart hammered against my ribs, and my blood pumped hot in my veins. My entire body flushed, and my skin pebbled.

  Alex moved between my legs, staring at my sex. After a few horrible, tense minutes, he reached out his gloved hand and touched my labia. Horror seized my soul when his fingers came away wet with the undeniable sign of my arousal.

  “Pleasure is a powerful tool,” he remarked. “As is humiliation. You won’t have any secrets from me by the time we’re finished.”

  He picked up a long, silvery probe and pressed it against my slick entrance.

  “Don’t,” I pleaded, shame and terror expanding in my chest.

  “This won’t hurt,” he said, as though that was supposed to reassure me. “We’ll get to that part later.”

  I screamed as the violation began. I lost count of how many times he wrung an orgasm from my drugged system before he injected me with a different cocktail. Then the pain came, and my mind shattered.

  Chapter 21

  Jason