Grasping For Freedom

by Debra Kayn

  He knocked on the closed office door. He stared at the wood and not down the hallway where Brandy would be.

  "Yeah, it's open," Rain said from inside the room.

  Torque opened the door and shut it behind him. Not one to waste time, he said, "We've got a problem. The guys are throwing down bets on who can get Brandy first."

  Rain let the paper in his hand fall to the desk and leaned back, placing his boots on the corner of the furniture. "It's bullshit talk. They're allowed to let off steam without bothering her."

  "Are the rules changing? Gladys was protected, just like any other daughter, sister, mother, old lady is protected." He stepped forward and remained standing. "Brandy's an employee of Bantorus MC."

  Rain grinned. "Gladys became an old lady a week after I bought the bar. She remained a Bantorus after Willy was killed. If you haven't noticed, she's in her sixties. Love her to death, but she already played her wild times out and let everyone know she was through spreading her legs. If the same rules apply, then Brandy's free to—"

  "You know what I mean. Brandy's, what...twenty-eight—"

  "Twenty four," Rain said.

  Shit. Twenty four? She had no idea what she was doing at that young of an age.

  "I'll talk with her, but I doubt she'll want to throw in with the bitches." Rain put his feet on the floor. "If the men step out of line, I'll deal with it. What's your real problem with Brandy, besides the talk of you sticking your tongue down her throat...which I take isn't going to happen again."

  He could give a rat's ass if Rain knew what he did. "She doesn't belong here. Anyone can see she isn't used to being around bikers. How well did you check her out?"

  Rain stood. "Are you questioning my decision? Because the last time I looked, I owned the fucking bar."

  "Right." Torque scoffed.

  Rain rounded the desk and sat on the top in front of Torque. "You've been through a lot the last year and I know shit piles on you, so I'll ignore the asshole in you coming out. Do you need time away? Bantorus has a run coming up, and it'll take two weeks. I'm trying to set up an agreement to transport cars down to Lagsturns on a regular schedule."

  Torque braced. "Chops?"

  "Not on our end. What they do with them afterward, it's not on our back." Rain studied him. "That bother you?"

  There was no question that Lagsturns Motorcycle Club would use the cars in an illegal activity and send them back on the road containing parts of stolen vehicles. Torque shook his head. "No problem."

  He had no love for the outlaw motorcycle club, and preferred to stay far away from them and anyone doing business with them. The last time he played too close, Los Li shot him on two separate occasions. Dealing with anyone who went into business with Los Li, a gang formed in the penal system in California under the leadership of the Mexican mafia, was bad news.

  "Are you up for the job?" Rain asked again.

  He'd like nothing more than to take a break and come back with his head screwed on straight. Though it was having his thoughts in the wrong place lately that could affect his judgment and put Bantorus at risk. "Let Remmy take the run. I'll pull his shift at the garage."

  As Sergeant at Arms to his president, he floated between club business and wherever Rain needed him on the outside. He enjoyed the lifestyle. Whether he was doing construction at the hotel, fixing cars at the garage, or repo'ing vehicles for non-payment, the array of jobs within Bantorus MC community kept him busy and away from growing stagnant.

  "Good." Rain clapped his hand on Torque's shoulder. "Why don't you talk to Tori in the next couple of days?"

  "Why?" he asked.

  Rain shrugged. "She's worried about you. You know how she gets when something bothers her."

  "There's nothing going on for her to get wound up," he said.

  "Tell that to my old lady." Rain's grin disappeared. "Don't bullshit around what's going on. I've known you over twenty years. I've watched you, worried about you, and fought with you. You're heading into a dark place, which is understandable considering what you went through. Bantorus is here. Hang on to us, and keep your head. You're a free man."

  Rain wasn't giving him advice, but an order. He'd sank low, fighting to outrun his past and letting anger build, enough in past years that he was given round the clock watch. After the fact, he hated having his brothers involved in his personal life. Not one of them knew why he continued to fight demons, except Rain. He could handle his past on his own. That's the reason he refused to settle down like Rain or Slade or the other members who put their care into someone else's hand. He didn't want anyone's help.

  "Tell Tori I'll stop by the house tomorrow, and see her and Lilly." He cleared his throat, turned for the door.

  If there was one person who helped him just by being in the same room, it was Tori. Her calmness and nurturing came from the heart, despite the hell she'd lived through growing up. Hell, her goodness penetrated every hardened member in the club.

  A knock, followed by the office door opening and Brandy sticking her head inside, stopped Torque from leaving. He stepped back and regretted looking the second Brandy's eyes fell on him. Her cheeks flushed. The base of her neck pulsed and he found his own blood pumping faster at the sight of her reaction.

  "Sorry. I didn't know anyone was in here." Brandy raked her teeth over her bottom lip. "I'll come back."

  "Brandy," Rain said, stopping her from going anywhere. "Stay."

  Torque moved toward the door to go past Brandy, and Rain said. "Torque, stick around."

  He clamped his teeth and stayed planted beside Brandy. He hated how he wanted to lift his chin at Rain and accept anything he asked if only to stay in Brandy's presence. She was a baby compared to him. Hell, he had nineteen years on her. He'd already fucked up his life before she was even born.

  "Torque mentioned there was talk going around the bar, by some Bantorus members, about you." Rain lowered his voice. "I promised you safety here, and every one of the men will be held to the same promise not to bother you. Talk is talk, and as long as it remains talk, you're going to have to deal with it."

  Brandy's chin lifted. "I have no complaints."

  Enough pussyfooting around the truth, Torque wanted her to know how serious the men were on making her a bitch. "They're taking bets on who will get in your panties first."

  Brandy gaze came to him and she blinked up at him. "That almost sounds as if everyone assumes I wear panties."

  Rain laughed, breaking the tension in the room. "Then that's settled."

  "Awesome." Brandy grinned. "I came in here to ask if you knew anyone who could take a look at my car. I know you own the garage, but I don't want to make an appointment and waste anyone's time if this turns out to be nothing. I just bought the car two weeks before I moved here to take the job, so maybe the noise coming from the front is normal. There's a knocking...sort of tinny sound when I push the pedal."

  Rain nodded. "I'll run it over to the garage—"

  "I'll take a look at it." Torque stepped forward. "It's probably something I can fix in the parking lot."

  "Right." Rain motioned to the door, gazing at Brandy. "Take an hour off and show Torque what's going on with your cage. I'll cover the bar."

  "But I've already taken my lunch break." Brandy pressed her hand against her stomach. "I should stay here and—"

  "Come on. Clock's ticking." Torque placed his hand flat on her lower back and guided her out of the room, down the hall, and out the back door. "Which one's yours?"

  She frowned at him, but pointed at the far edge of the lot. "The black Cadillac."

  "Figures," he muttered, dropping his hand and walking in front of her.

  "What's that mean?" She hurried to catch up with him. "It's a decent car."

  "Sure it is," he said. "But no single girl drives a cage like that."

  The black glossy paint and lift couldn't hide the fact that the car was two years old at most. He walked around the front bumper, trailing his hand across the hood, pausing whe
re the hood ornament was missing. His fingers rolled into his palms and he scanned the area for anything out of the ordinary. There was only one reason why someone would take off a Cadillac's hood ornament.

  "Where did you buy the car?" he asked.

  "Um. I got it when I lived in Cali...Wayne's Car Emporium, I think." She leaned her hip against the fender. "Why? Is something wrong? I'm still making payments and I swear, since I arrived in Pitnam something feels off with the car. I hope I didn't buy a lemon."

  He watched her for any little movement or hesitation, but she simply waited for him to continue. What were the odds that Brandy had no idea why the sight of the caddy had him breaking out in a sweat?

  He forced his teeth apart to continue. "It's a drug runner."

  "What do you mean?" She stepped closer.

  He slipped off his vest, folded the leather in half, and set it on the hood of her car. "Whoever owned the Cadillac before you had gang affiliation. What part of the state did you come from?"

  "California. South Beach area." She frowned. "That's creepy, but the car lot I bought it at was legit. It's my car now, or will be when I'm done paying for it."

  He kneeled down and rolled onto his back. Scooting his way under the car, he skipped the usual areas to look for problems with knocking, and checked the underside carriage for a tracker. When he was sure the car was clean, he rolled out from underneath and stood. "You land in Bantorus territory driving a car I'd bet my bike came from a member of Los Li, dressed like a bitch, getting in my face, and stand there all innocent. Why don't you come clean now? If you're lucky Rain will let you leave the territory in your shiny car."

  "What are you talking about?" She pushed his chest, trying to scoot him away from her. "Why are you crowding me?"

  Until she laid her hands on him, he hadn't realized he'd stepped up against her, pinning her to the car. He gazed down in her eyes. "You dress hotter than dual chrome plated exhaust pipes, shoving your nose in the air and yet stand here defending your choice of a new car. I don't know how you got past Rain, but your gigs over."

  Her brows pinched. "What are you accusing me of? Buying a used car? Needing a job?"

  Her bottom lip trembled and tears welled in her eyes, though she blinked to hide them. He cupped her neck, holding her in front of him. The soft strands of her hair slid between his fingers. He inhaled deeply. She smelled better than whiskey.

  "Stop the charade." He leaned his lower half against her. "Someone got you the job, and I want to know who."

  "N-nobody." Her breath tickled his lips. "I went through an agency. Ask Rain if you don't believe me."

  He brushed his mouth against hers. "Boyfriend?"

  "No," she whispered, arching her neck and giving him access to her lips.

  His free hand went to her ass, pulling her snug between his thighs. "Bitch?"

  "No," she said on an exhale. "I'm nobody's bitch."

  "Good answer, sunshine." He captured her lips.

  Unlike the other night when he'd taken the kiss from her, he softened his lips, taking possession of her emotions he'd placed on her. He soothed the trembles, tasted the fear, and breathed the heat forming between them. He celebrated in her hesitation, proving she was telling the truth. He controlled every move, and she gave herself to him willingly.

  He stroked her tongue, sucking hers into his mouth. His cock hardened and he held her perfectly molded against him. Her body relaxed, and he took her weight. Holding her was like having power over his fears, his worries, his freedom. The closer she came, the more confident he became. He could handle her, handle the feelings, and handle the consequences of messing around with her.

  She sucked his bottom lip, pulling away gently, panting. He tilted her head and looked down in her eyes, swept away from the startling clarity staring back at him.

  "I don't know what you're trying to do with me," she said.

  He inhaled, not letting her go. "If you were smart, you'd run back into the bar."

  "And if I don't want to?" she whispered.

  He kissed her lightly, still reeling from wanting her and knowing he had to be the one who put a stop to what they were doing. "Choice isn't yours."

  The need to stay where he was and continue to enjoy the touch of a woman left him shaky. He forced himself to let go and step back. "You have the keys with you?"

  "The what?" She put her hand to her mouth.

  "The keys to the car, sunshine." He grinned, enjoying her aroused confused and knowing he was the one who put her in that condition.

  She pulled a single key with a red ribbon out of her pocket. "Yeah."

  He took the makeshift keychain from her and opened the door. "I'll drive it around the block and listen for the noise. Go ahead and go inside. I might need to take it onto I-5 and get the engine temperature hotter to hear the knocking."

  "Okay." She nodded, but continued standing there. After several seconds, she said, "Torque?"

  "Yeah?" He brought his attention back around to her.

  She worked her hands in worry. "Nevermind. It's not important."

  She walked away. He watched her long strides take her inside the bar. When he was alone, he punched the steering wheel. He might not know what he was doing in the next hour when it came to Brandy, but he sure in the hell knew he wasn't going to let any other man touch her. She gave him everything in a kiss, and he was damned well going to make sure she only gave that to him

  .

  He started the car. There was only one way to get her out of his head. He'd show her what kind of trouble she'd get into if she stuck around. The way she reacted to their kiss, he'd be between her legs in no time and she'd run away scared. He'd finally be free of his problem where Brandy was concerned.

  Chapter Three

  Brandy pressed her back against the wall in the hallway after leaving Torque outside with her car and thrust both hands into her hair, holding her head. What was she doing?

  Oh my God.

  Torque knew she was driving a Los Li car. He'd taken one look and called her out. Lies rolled off her tongue faster than she could stop them, and if she went by the kiss Torque gave her, he believed every messed up thing she said.

  Radiant had to have known someone from Bantorus would question her about the car. Why would he set her up that way if he wanted her to gain information?

  She fisted her hair, wanting to scream.

  Then Torque had kissed her. Again.

  Petrified she'd give herself away, she kissed him back. She closed her eyes and groaned. God, she was a liar. She wanted to kiss him, but that made her the very thing he accused her of being. She was not a bitch.

  She'd had a few dates, but most of her experience came from a handful of one-night stands when she managed to go out after work. Five one-night stands to be exact. Not a number that made her a habitual slut. Lately, she couldn't even find time for herself.

  "Hey." Bruce walked out of the supply room. "Everything okay?"

  "Yeah." She dropped her hands and gave him a smile bordering on a grimace. "No. It's my car. Torque's looking at it, but I'm having buyer's remorse. I think I bought a piece of crap. So much for purchasing on looks alone."

  Bruce shrugged her concern away. "If Torque's working on it, he'll have the cage up and running in no time. He's good with anything that has an engine."

  She only had a uterus and ovaries, but he definitely had a way to get things running. She pushed off the wall. "You're right. I'm not going to worry about it. When I get the final diagnoses, then I'll worry."

  She and Bruce walked back to the bar together. The dinner crowd slowly trickled in. She busied herself taking inventory of glasses and the contents of the freezer. Last night she also noticed that Bruce was doing double time running the industrial size dishwasher in the back of the kitchen, which took valuable time away from customers ordering drinks.

  When she finished averaging the usage of dishes with the quantity of food going out, she approached Ginger. "Can I speak with you a moment?"<
br />
  "Yeah." Ginger slipped her pen in the pocket of her cutoffs.

  "I'd like you and Taylor to switch on and off taking the bins of glasses to the dishwasher and loading everything. I'll cover your tables while you're gone," Brandy said.

  "You're kidding?" Ginger planted her hand on her hip. "That's crazy."

  Brandy shook her head. "No, it's one task that pulls Bruce away from the counter. We don't want to make the customers wait for their drinks. It'd be easier if the wait crew divided the job, since there's only one bartender here at a time we'll take turns with the chore."

  Ginger motioned over Brandy's shoulder. "Tell this chick I'm not doing the dishes."

  Laughter came from behind her. Brandy turned around and found two bikers—Jedman and Pete shaking their head in amusement. She turned back to Ginger and lowered her voice. "When I'm talking to you, it's a private conversation. My request wasn't unreasonable, and in your job description papers you signed—which I've read front to back—any duties directed toward the waitresses will be directed by the managerial staff. That's me."

  "Listen here, Brandy." Ginger glared. "You want me to do something, you ask Rain to inform me. Not you."

  "Is there a problem with taking requests from me?" She raised her brows to make a point. "I'd be happy to have us both sit down with Rain and discuss the matter in a professional manner."

  Ginger's nostrils flared. "I'll save you the trouble—she called out to Rain and motioned for him—just ask Rain yourself."

  Rain stepped up beside Brandy. "Ginger...?"

  "Tell her, I don't do dishes." Ginger folded her arms under her breasts.

  Rain glanced between Brandy and Ginger. "Brandy, the girls had an agreement worked out with Gladys that they wouldn't work in the kitchen. You can honor the standing verbal terms or make your own. That's why I hired you."

  "Rain," Ginger said. "You can't let her push us around."

  "She's the manager." He turned around, putting the authority back in Brandy's hands.

  Ginger sighed loudly and remained quiet. Brandy watched Rain walk away, leaving her to decide whether she wanted to push her idea or back down. She'd worked too many years with girls exactly like Ginger who learned how to manipulate to get what they wanted. Strong, independent girls who had learned to endure from a young age. Servers used everything they had to put money in their pocket and keep a roof over their heads. She wasn't any different.