Grasping For Freedom

by Debra Kayn

  He had no idea how attractive she found him, because of that strength to go at life alone and on his own terms. She respected him more, because he had survived whatever put the haunted look in his eyes.

  His belt undone, his fingers at the button of his jeans, he held her gaze. "Back on the mattress, sunshine."

  She hurried to do his bidding when he shoved off his pants. He was ready, and she was willing. Once he rolled on a condom, he moved forward and put his knee on the bed between her legs. She scooted her body back farther on the mattress, widening her legs for him.

  He stared down at her sex with hunger in his eyes. Her fingers curled, grabbing onto the bedspread. Her body vibrated in anticipation.

  He lowered his mouth. With one caress of his tongue, her body became possessed. "Oh, my God..."

  The bed rocked from her movements. She dug her heels into the bed, needing closer, reaching, and grasping.

  He held her and there was something so perfect, so freaking fabulous in knowing he was taking care of her, she stopped struggling to reach her peak and let go, letting him take her all the way.

  Her core wound tighter, hotter, more sensitive than ever, quickly spiraled, flooding her body. The pleasure culminated to her limbs, to the tips of her fingers. Almost giddy with relief, she laughed, sobbed, moaned, and screamed. Her thighs tightened against his head, holding him as she trembled through her orgasm.

  She couldn't breathe.

  She couldn't voluntarily move.

  All she could do was soak in the comfort of having Torque cradle her in his hands, keeping her safe, and letting her rely on him completely. The powerful comfort was both unique and scarily too real. She never wanted to move.

  Torque crawled up her body, wiped his mouth on his bare shoulder, and then gazed at her. Finally, he said, "We're not done by a long shot."

  She stroked his face and nodded. "Your turn."

  "No, our turn," he said, and she loved the sound of that.

  He slid inside of her. Sensitive, aroused, and full of Torque, she gasped on an, "Oh, God."

  Her body, once languid and satisfied, tingled awake. She raised her hands and grabbed on to his arms. Half afraid she'd die of pleasure, and half thrilled there was more to come.

  "Hold on." He buried his face in her neck.

  She wrapped her arms around him, swung her feet up higher and planted her heels on his tight ass. He bucked against her, and she moved with him. In, out, in, out, until she could no longer keep the pace. Torque lifted himself on straight arms. His chest expanded. She sprawled her hands on his chest, squeezing, clawing, and hurrying him. She wanted harder, faster, more.

  There it was. She panted. Oh, God. Right there.

  He pulled back and thrust once more. She catapulted into an orgasm. Clinging to him, she absorbed his climax. His muscles, hard as a freaking rock, pulsed against her. She quivered. Every little movement, even his breathing, stroked her, extending the pleasure.

  He rolled to the side with her, and she inhaled a deep breath, laughing on a sigh. "Wow..."

  Cradled in his arms, her leg flung loosely over his hip, she closed her eyes. She learned one more thing about Torque. The last time they were together wasn't a fluke of awesomeness. He was freaking awesome all the time.

  Chapter Ten

  Exhausted, unable to keep her eyes open, Brandy lay atop Torque's chest, her legs on either side of him, and her cheek resting in the crook of his neck. She never wanted to return to reality.

  After he'd taken her higher than she'd ever been able to go with another person or herself, he'd taken her there again, and again. She yawned and the movement wore her out even more.

  "You okay, sunshine?" he whispered, rubbing the length of her back.

  She simply sighed happily.

  His body quaked underneath her in silent laughter. She moved her arms, groaning in effort, and clamped her fingers onto his arm. "Don't. Move."

  His body stilled. "Are you sore?"

  The concern in his voice brought her head up. She groaned and attempted to smile. Even her facial muscles were semi-comatose. "No...absolutely no. Wore out and dead to the world. That's all."

  He lifted his head and kissed her forehead. "Me too, but I need to get out of bed."

  Disappointment had her rolling off him and sitting up. "You're leaving?"

  "Not unless you want me too," he said, standing up and stretching his back.

  The muscles across his shoulders bunched. She studied the tattoos covering his spine. The flamed tattoos she'd seen around his neck, also burned across most of his back, covering a hard body she still wanted to explore. She grabbed the blanket and covered herself. "No, you can stay. I'm not working until tomorrow night, so if you want to hang around...and talk."

  He held his jeans in his hand. "Hang around and talk?"

  "Yeah." She shrugged. "No pressure. I just thought if you'd like some company and seeing as how I'm not planning to do anything tonight, we could—nevermind. You probably have club stuff to do or have to work in the morning. No big deal. Maybe I'll walk up town and check Pitnam out. I hear there's a late night café open with Wi-Fi up on Main Street."

  Torque dropped his jeans and strode toward her naked. She stood, wanting to meet him on an even playing field. Used to her independence, she hated the way she sounded desperate for him to stay.

  He laid his hands on her shoulders, caressing her neck with his thumbs. "I'll stay for a while, okay?"

  She nodded. "Cool."

  His jaw twitched and his hands on her neck relaxed. "Cool, sunshine."

  "Okay. Well, then. Um, I'm going to jump in the shower...make yourself at home." She scooted to the side, and he brought her back in front of him. "What?"

  "You take a shower. I'll go grab us something to eat from the bar, and then if you want to talk, you can talk," he said.

  Shit. Los Li. Her dad. Radiant would be calling. She pressed her hand to her forehead. "Okay, sounds like a plan."

  She hurried into the bathroom, dropped the blanket, and stepped into the shower after the water warmed. For several minutes, she stood under the faucet letting the heat and water wash over her. They'd had sex—fabulous sex, but beyond their connection in bed, she had nothing to share with him, especially her private life.

  She'd gone to Los Li for help, because she was desperate. She went along with the instructions to spy on Bantorus MC for Los Li, because she was desperate. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself she slept with Torque because she wanted to, she was afraid she'd made another desperate move that would turn out to be a huge mistake.

  After washing her body and hair, she wrapped a towel around her, and hurried out to the bedroom. She wanted to have clothes on to keep her from thinking about sex with Torque. Not that the barrier would provide her with protection, but she had to slow things down and get back to the business of saving her dad.

  When Torque spoke, looked, or breathed, she panted after him as if she could make her whole situation fade away. He couldn't help her. She also couldn't ignore the urgency to get Radiant the information he needed.

  Desperate. She groaned as she grabbed her clothes out of the dresser. This was just a one—okay, two-night stand. They'd talk, they'd eat dinner, and they'd go their separate ways.

  She yanked her Tee over her head, pulling her wet hair out from under the material. She'd keep things light and once dinner was over, she'd send Torque on his way before Radiant called.

  She stepped into the legs of her cutoffs, and buttoned them. She'd use the time over dinner to discuss Torque's job, his relationship with Rain, and maybe Raul. Somehow, she'd find out more about the run that was scheduled. There had to be a connection she was missing between Bantorus and Los Li somewhere in this mess.

  Twenty minutes later, she walked out into the main room of the cabin, make-up on, hair half dried, and fully dressed down. She even put her Converse sneakers on, because even her toes weren't safe from Torque's attention. She looked out the one window in
the cabin. There were a few motorcycles parked in the lot, but from her location, she couldn't tell how many were out in the front parking lot. Maybe Torque decided to stay inside the bar or Rain sent him on a run.

  If Radiant called now, she'd have nothing new to tell him. Besides the planned run she'd already informed him about, she couldn't even figure out what kind of business the MC did on a regular basis. Far as she could tell, the bar, the garage, and the hotel in town—which Rain owned all of them—employed mostly Bantorus members. They were also legit businesses.

  There had to be something that she was failing to find. Los Li dealt in anything they could get their hands on to keep the Mexican mafia paying them. She shoved her fingers through her head and massaged her scalp, feeling a headache coming on. Her dad better not be mixed up with Los Li and doing something illegal.

  The door opened, and Torque strolled into the cabin holding a cardboard box. Her head throbbed, and she realized she hadn't eaten since breakfast. She held out her arms and took the food from him.

  "I don't have normal plates, but I do have paper plates," she said, setting the box on the counter. "I hope that's okay."

  Torque approached her from behind, placed his hands on her hips, and kissed the side of her neck. "Not picky. We can eat out of the paper baskets. It's only burgers and fries."

  "Men," she muttered. "We'll do paper plates."

  Torque moved away and a chair scraped. Attuned to him in the same room, her hands shook as she divided the food.

  "Why don't you have a man in your life?" Torque said.

  She dropped the fries, spilling them on the plate. The talk was supposed to be about him, not her.

  "I've only been in Pitnam for a little over a week. Most of that time learning the routine and stocking up on the essentials...like paper plates." She set his food in front of him and took the seat across from him at the mini dinette in the corner of the room. "Besides, I don't think I need a man at my side everywhere I go."

  Torque finished chewing and leaned forward, planting his elbows on the table. "I get that you like your independence, but a woman like you needs a man to keep her safe."

  He had no idea what she needed. She was still alive and able to sit here and share a late dinner with him.

  "I have Bantorus MC protecting me." She popped a french fry into her mouth. "How many men are in the club? More than one, obviously."

  "All counting, seventy two." Torque pointed his fry at her. "We have you covered."

  For several minutes, they ate in silence. What should've been an awkward moment turned into fascination. Torque took eating seriously, and wasted no time finishing his food. She glanced at him again. While he ate, he looked around the cabin and kept his chair farther away from the table than needed. He moved constantly and he rarely lowered his gaze to look at his food.

  His behavior was opposite of the attention he gave her while having sex. When he was with her, he focused on her.

  She wadded up her paper napkin. "Do you have somewhere you need to go?"

  "No." He stood and carried his garbage to the cardboard box he'd carried over from the bar.

  She followed him to the counter, took a piece of Foil, and wrapped the other half of her sandwich, putting it in the fridge for tomorrow. When she was done, Torque had already moved into the living room and opened the door.

  He then sat down on her couch. Confused, she sat beside him on the couch sideways facing him, and said, "Is it too hot in here?"

  It was the end of September, and although the daytime temperature reached seventy degrees, the nights were rather cool.

  He reached out and rubbed her bare leg. She shivered under the heat of his hand and reminded herself they were only spending the evening together talking.

  "No. Are you cold?" he asked, his voice lowering a notch.

  Needing to distract him from where he was going with the conversation in case it was his attempt to warm her up, she covered his hand, keeping him from wandering to another part of her body. "Just wondering why you opened the door."

  "Your place is small," he mumbled.

  Rain had given her one of the bigger cabins with a bedroom off the main room. The limited space never bothered her before. Though she once worked with a woman a few years ago who hated getting supplies out of the back storage room, because she was claustrophobic.

  "So, you have to work tomorrow?" she asked, urging him to talk.

  He nodded. "I have to go in early and pull an engine. Should be done by two o'clock or so."

  "How long have you been a mechanic?"

  His fingers flinched. "Probably longer than you've been alive."

  She laughed, leaning over and nudging him with her shoulder. "Okay, let's get our age difference out in the open.

  "You're twenty four, and I'm old." He leaned his head back on the couch, amusement in his voice.

  "How did you find that out? I mean, how old I am."

  He pulled her down, so she was laying with her head in his lap, staring up at him. She lay motionless, letting him smooth the hair away from her face. He traced the curve of her cheek with his finger, stopping to finger the diamond in her brow. She enjoyed the responsiveness from him more than she wanted to admit.

  "Rain," he said. "He's talked."

  She played with the edge of his vest. "I'm at a disadvantage. I know nothing about you."

  "Not much to know." He traced her bottom lip with his finger. "Except this is the first time I've had a woman's head on my lap when her mouth hasn't been on my body, and instead she wants to talk."

  She smiled. Secretly, she was like every other woman who wanted to stand out in a man's life and his observation made her happy.

  "You thought I was a bitch when you first saw me," she reminded him.

  "Always knew you weren't." He sighed and dropped his hand to his side. "I won't fuck you over and have you thinking there's going to be dinner and talking every night."

  "Fine." She stayed on his lap. "Now you've got that off your chest and out in the open, you can relax. I have no plans to domesticate the biker."

  "Sunshine, I don't—"

  "I hear you. I do." She comically rolled her eyes and lifted her chin—which wasn't easy to do lying on her back on his lap. "Get this, babe. Tonight was great. The other night was great too, but I think tonight was even better than that night. Just being honest and maybe sex does improve with time and experience, I don't know...seeing as how I'm twenty-four years old and you're just plain old. Besides, you have some quirks that are making me freeze my ass off, like leaving the door open. I can handle that, especially when you say things like I'm the first woman who has put her head on your lap and talked to you. I like that a lot, just so you know, babe. If you ever do decide to come visit again, I'll probably not tell you to go to hell because for some reason, in my short, short life, I've never had a man focus all his attention on me before and I think it's all kinds of wonderful. That doesn't mean I'll let you use me or I'll try to ride on the back of your bike."

  Torque stared down at her, his upper chest quaking, his warm eyes softened that the skin at the corners crinkled. All kinds of happiness filled her, and she grinned. This was the hint of the man she knew was inside of him and needed to come out more often. He could protest and claim he was a badass—and she believed him—but he was made to enjoy life too and somewhere or somehow, he'd forgotten how.

  A half chuckle escaped before Torque clamped his lips together and smiled. "You've been hanging around the bikers too much. You're starting to sound like one of us with a talent for bull shitting."

  "You think so?" She pushed into a sitting position, getting off his lap. "Honestly, it takes too much energy to shorten my sentences and grunt to keep my biker speech up longer than a minute."

  He leaned toward her, hooked her neck, and brought her forward. He kissed her hard and deep, and then let her go. "I liked what you said. Though next time, maybe drop the babe."

  "Oh, okay," she whispered, kissing him quick a
nd escaping his hands. "You better get going, so you can get some sleep before you have to work in the morning."

  "Yeah." He stood.

  She walked him to the opened door. "It's been real, babe."

  "Smartass," he said, before kissing her again. "See you—"

  Her cell phone in the other room rang. She pushed away from him, backing up. "Sorry. I need to get this."

  Not waiting for him to say goodbye, she turned and jogged to the bedroom. She dove on the bed, stretching to reach her phone on the nightstand and swyped the button. "Hello?"

  "Close, baby. One more ring, and you'd be very disappointed," Radiant said.

  She turned her head and looked into the hallway. Torque hadn't followed her. "Is he there?"

  "First, give me the information."

  God. She had nothing significant. "Bantorus had a meeting earlier and I tried to stick around to learn what was said, but Rain left immediately for—she pressed her hand against her forehead, trying to remember where Torque mentioned Rain had gone—uh, he went..."

  "Brandy," Radiant said. "Think hard."

  She stood and paced. "I am. I am. He went—I remember. He went to the motor vehicle department."

  "Why?"

  "I don't...he said Rain had to go there before the run they're making. I told you about the run," she said, her heart racing. "Can I please talk with my dad?"

  "Who's he?" Radiant ignored her question.

  "Who's he what?" she asked.

  "Who told you Rain was going to the motor vehicle department?"

  She exhaled. "Torque."

  "Excellent." Radiant's voice became clearer. "Now, before I let you talk to your pop, remember, I'll be contacting you again. Keep your phone close."

  "I will." She nodded, hugging her middle with one arm as silence came over the phone.

  She strained to hear anything that'd let her know her dad was going to come on the line and willing Radiant not to hang up on her. The back of her neck prickled, and she paced to make the seconds shorter.

  Finally, a familiar male voice bellowed, "Brandy?"