by Jillian Neal
Her tears returned, but she tried to go on. He couldn’t watch her sit there and cry. He was simply unable. He pulled her back to him and held her as she sobbed. He waited to assure her once again, to combat the images in her head that had her shackled and bound.
She pulled back and wiped her face before forcing herself to finish. After drawing a deep breath, she clenched her fists and her stomach. She dammed back the flow of tears with sheer strength of will.
“You’re a guy, and I know that you stared at the table or whatever, but I also know that you saw them.”
She seemed to will repose that continued to elude her. She shook her head combatively. “So, I just sat there praying that I had something that would make you come back to me. That would make you tell me everything again. I sat there knowing that I just can’t compete with strippers.”
Stunned disbelief rocked through Rainer as he held her tightly. “I don’t even know where to begin, so I’m just going to say everything in my head. I really just need you to listen to me.”
His temper spiked though he did his best to quell the fury. “First of all, yeah, I saw them, and they flirted, and threw themselves at all of us because that’s what they get paid to do. So, I watched Tuttle get lap dances, and your brother flirt with every woman who walked by, and I was sick.”
He held her chin in his hand, not allowing her to look away from him. “All I could think about was how cheap and unfulfilling that must be, and how badly I wanted to come home to you,” he used his thumb to wipe away more tears as he cupped her face.
“Don’t you get it, Emily?” His voice rose in accordance with his fervor. “You don’t ever have to compete with anyone or anything because you are the fantasy. I don’t ever want or need to see any other woman. I have the most beautiful and amazing woman in the world right here in bed with me.”
“Why would I ever want anything else?” He shook his head and willed her to hear what he was saying. “So, if that’s what some guys want, for some girl they don’t know to shake it in their lap, and then to go home alone, then they can have it. But I have every single thing I have ever wanted, or ever could’ve dreamed about having, sitting right here in my bed, looking up at me, crying because I really screwed up. I didn’t make you understand all of that before I got sent to a strip club for work.”
“And I know we’re pretty rare as couples go, but that’s just one more reason that I would never ever do anything to jeopardize what we’ve been building since that day you dared me to kiss you when I was eight years old.”
He shook his head as he recalled the memory. “I was terrified. I knew Logan and Connor would never let me live it down, but I didn’t care. I wanted to kiss you, and as soon as I let my lips touch your cheek, that was it for me. I knew, right then and there, that you were all I ever wanted.”
“Somehow, I must’ve done something right along the way because I got you.” He let his eyes close for the length of one heartbeat. He drew a steadying breath before continuing.
“See, baby, those girls do that because that’s their job, and guys are flashing cash in their face, so as soon as one guy’s out of ones then they move on to the next.”
“That’s not a relationship; that’s a cheap momentary thrill, I guess. Sure as hell didn’t do a damn thing for me. But this,” he gestured from his heart to hers, “This is a life, Em. This is love. This is a kiss, and then watching each other grow up, and then a little more than kissing, and then a whole lot more than kissing.” He chuckled as she grinned.
“This is laying over you in a hospital bed sobbing, praying that you’d wake up. This is refusing to leave your hospital room for days.”
“This is holding you out on a deck in the middle of the night at your parents’ beach house and getting to explore you. And this is holding you close to me, so terrified to hurt you, but completely overwhelmed that I somehow got to be the guy lucky enough to get to take you to bed.”
“This is a ring, and a wedding, and a house, and kids, and a porch swing when we’re old. You are my other half. Nothing else matters unless you’re with me.”
“The girl who brings me chili made just like I like it, when I felt like I might just die, and the girl who tells me to meet her in the shower, and makes me feel like I’ve never been more alive.”
“That’s all I have ever wanted, and all I will ever want. And all I can do is pray that that’s what you’ll always want, too.” He finished his diatribe and brushed a stray strand of auburn hair behind her ear.
He gazed at her with all of the love in his heart, which at that moment felt like it might just be more than his body could contain.
“Rainer,” she began to sob again. She fell on his chest and let him hold her tightly. She let him cradle her to him, to shield her from the corrosive world as he prayed a silent prayer of overwhelming gratitude for all he had when he held her in his arms.
He heard Sam’s voice echo for him to talk out loud, and he decided to keep going. “The only guy who’s ever kissed you. The only guy who’s ever felt you up, and, yes, I remember the first time. They weren’t quite as big then.” He chuckled, as she blushed crimson.
“The only guy who’s ever touched you, or seen all of you, or laid you down and been with you. That makes me the luckiest guy in the world, Em, and I sure as hell will do anything in my power to make sure that I’m always the only guy who gets all of that.”
“What we have, what we do, I don’t do because it feels so damn good, baby. I do it because I love you. When I feel you like that, when we’re close enough that all of this energy that makes us the way we are joins, and I can’t tell where I stop and where you begin, that’s unbelievable. I can’t begin to describe to you what that means to me.”
“Thank you,” she whispered as relief drove the tears from her eyes. “You’re just incredible.”
“That’s you, baby.” They lay there in the soothing silence of the love they’d created, as he cosseted her tenderly in his arms. “Let’s talk about the lawsuit, okay?”
Another round of relief washed through her eyes.
“First, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when I saw it in the paper yesterday. You were asleep, and I didn’t want to burden you with it, but that was wrong and it affects you just as much as it does me.”
“I know I did nothing to help you feel like the money is both of ours by keeping that from you.”
She sighed, but did finally give him a nod of hesitant agreement.
“I talked to Jack Stariff at work. I know I should have waited until you were with me, but I didn’t.”
“It’s okay, Rainer. Just tell me what he said.”
He held her hand in his, thankful to be able to do that again. He’d never realized how important that was to him; it seemed like such a small thing, until it had been taken away.
“He says Dad’s will is iron-clad, and that we have nothing to worry about.” He gazed deeply into her eyes. His whole world swirled right there in those emerald eyes.
“But we will have to go to trial and hash this all out. Stariff thinks that my uncle knows he won’t get much from the estate, but that he’s hoping that either I’ll pay him off to keep it out of court, or that he’ll get awarded something from the Senteon if he can get enough of the Governors to agree that I’ve been irresponsible with the money thus far.”
“The fact that we stayed on your parents’ farm and restored an old house instead of buying something big, and new, and pimped out,” he teased, delighted with her grin, “Plays well for us.”
He didn’t really want to tell her what else Mr. Stariff had pointed out.
“But buying me a Hummer doesn’t.” She knew exactly what he was about to say. He nodded begrudgingly.
“So,” he continued as he reminded himself that when he kept things from her it only ended her on the fear side of things, as Sam had told him. “I’m going to have to get on the stand and tell them that I was scared for your safety. I’m going to talk about the wreck, Em.
”
She hated to talk about it or even think about it.
“On the flip side,” he smiled at her adoringly, in an effort to erase her frown, “It is apparently a good thing that I gave you my mom’s ring, instead of buying you something from Tiffany’s.”
“And Stariff thinks that since the engagement is the reference point for the lawsuit, that the ring will be a big deal.”
“And, I knew you didn’t want to think about the will, so I just did it. I don’t want to think about it, either, but I had to take care of you. I don’t really know what my uncle is capable of, baby. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I never want you to be scared,” he concluded as he let the last of the tension that had been pent up inside of him go with a huff.
She gazed at him and then leaned and brushed a sweet kiss across his jaw.
“You know when we were little, and I used to make you and Logan play wedding with me?”
Rainer laughed. “Yeah, I’m glad I always got to play the groom, and that you didn’t want to pretend to marry Logan.”
She giggled and wrinkled her nose. “Eww,” she shuddered.
They laughed together and the sound soothed Rainer’s weary soul.
“But, do you remember I used to make you put a grape-flavored ring pop on me in the ceremony?”
He nodded as he allowed the memory to form in his mind. He could see Logan rolling his eyes and holding a copy of an old phonebook. Emily, beaming, with her long, red hair pulled up in a ponytail, her freckles on display from the summer sun, and clinging to Rainer’s hands.
He couldn’t help himself. Before she continued, he leaned and kissed her lips. “I love you, and I can’t wait to marry you for real.”
“Yeah,” she nodded as tears formed on her lashes again. “Well, I would’ve taken a ring pop and still said yes. Just give him the money, Rainer. I can’t stand it that he might try to hurt you. I don’t want the money. I just want you.”
He wrapped her up in his arms as emotion flooded through his entire body.
“You are the most incredible woman in the world.” He held her tightly. He didn’t want to let her go. “But, Em, I’m not giving him anything. My dad and my grandparents and great-grandparents worked hard for all of that. It’s for you and for our kids to have when we’re gone. My grandfather wrote him out of the will when he dropped out of the Academy, so I’m not going to turn around and undo his wishes.”
“I want you to come to work with me next week, on one of the days you don’t have practice. I want both of us to talk to Mr. Buffett. We need to make sure all of the money is invested wisely, because it will look good for the trial and because I don’t want you to ever have to worry about money.”
“After that, as long as we don’t do anything too crazy that makes us look irresponsible, or ends up in the papers, then the trial should be open and shut. Okay?”
“Okay, so probably no more fingering me at restaurants.” She blushed violently, and Rainer mentally lambasted himself once again.
“Probably should never have done that in the first place.”
Relief eased her flushed face as she nodded, “I love you.”
“Then that is all in the world I need.”
Emily smiled sweetly. She let him cradle her against his chest as they continued to talk.
They recalled things from their childhood and things they’d done at the Academy.
He recounted the story for her of when she was twelve and her father had forbidden her from going camping with Rainer and all of her brothers. She’d run away to the loft and refused to come in the house until three in the morning, when she was freezing.
She teased him about how long it had taken him to work up the courage to ask if he could, in fact, feel her up, and how he’d choked over the words. She’d finally just grabbed his hands and gone ahead with it.
They settled back onto the bed, entangled in each other, talking and laughing. Rainer finally felt like his world had righted itself once again.
Eventually, they were kissing more than they were talking, and as lust spiked his blood again. He pulled off the t-shirt she’d put on before they’d eaten and told her just how stunningly gorgeous she was.
He grabbed her hand and wrapped it around his cock. He was throbbing and hard as steel for her.
He’d proven his point, and her excited moan had him aching to feel her again.
He knew he had everything he would ever need wrapped up in his arms, and he let her moans drown out the restless murmurs in his mind.
He didn’t want anything else. He only wanted her, all to himself. He wanted the rest of the world to slip away.
Pulling her body underneath his, he consumed her mouth with deep, drawing kisses. With a heady, lust-filled, guttural groan, he moved to claim her again.
Invitation From the Past
Friday evening, Rainer scrubbed his hair with a towel, after he stepped out of the showers off of the Iodex gym.
“That was a good workout, Lawson. Let’s go over everything O’Ryan just pulled out of his ass when I threatened to take him back to Felsink for the weekend,” Vindico commanded.
“Sorry, sir. I’m picking up Em in just a few minutes. You know, if any of that would make any difference this weekend I would stay, but I’ll get it done Monday morning,” Rainer stated firmly.
He knew Governor Willow and Governor Haydenshire would back him up. Vindico knew that as well, it seemed. His jaw set as he gave an irritated huff, but he didn’t say anything else as all of the Wretchkinsides task force left the gym and headed back to their desks.
Logan and Rainer found Marcus Quentin standing by their desks. They shared a quizzical glance.
“What’s up, Marc? You get lost on your way up to see your dad?” Logan quizzed.
Marcus had been in Ioses with Logan and Rainer in school. They’d all graduated together and had been good friends right up until the point that Rainer had moved to London to try to protect Emily.
Marcus had waited approximately two hours before he’d texted Emily to tell her how much he’d always liked her, what a jerk Rainer was, and how he was so glad she’d wised up and dumped him. Then he’d asked Emily out.
Marcus had begun dating Sydney Shelton their Junior year at Venton.
His father worked for Governor Peterson, Samantha’s father, and handled most of the Governor’s public relations campaigns. He also was known to fudge service records for Governor Peterson.
Sydney was Samantha Peterson’s best friend. Rainer recalled as he narrowed his eyes. He’d forgiven Marcus, for the most part, but he most certainly hadn’t forgotten.
Marcus smiled kindly as he greeted Logan and Vindico, and then turned to Rainer and extended his hand.
“Hey, man, congrats! I heard you and Em were engaged,” he sounded genuinely happy for Rainer.
“Uh yeah, I asked Em-i-ly,” he emphasized her full name. Marcus wasn’t calling Emily by Rainer’s nickname for her. “At the beach at the beginning of summer.”
Logan and Vindico chuckled at Rainer’s scolding. It had always irked Rainer that Marcus had taken it upon himself to decide that he was close enough to Emily to call her ‘Em.’
“Yeah, I saw the papers. I mean it’s always been you, man, so I guess I’m not surprised,” he may not have been surprised, but he was definitely disappointed.
Rainer ground his teeth as Vindico slapped him on the shoulder.
“Whoa there, stud,” Vindico chuckled under his breath, “She’s wearing your ring.”
“I’m actually headed out to pick up Em,” Rainer gestured his thumb towards the door, hoping to speed along whatever Marcus wanted.
“Oh, yeah, I heard she made the Angels. Do you, like, get to go inside the arena and stuff?”
A smirk formed rapidly on Rainer’s face. “Yep, I get to go pretty much wherever I want.”
Logan tried to turn his laughter into a cough.
“Yeah, that’s cool,” Marcus fumbled slightly. “I… well, I just ca
me by to drop off the wedding invitations. Sydney said I had to give them out to my friends, if I wanted them there. But, uh, tell Em-i-ly,” he repeated her name back just the way Rainer had instructed. “That I said hi.”
“Uh huh,” Rainer forced himself not to roll his eyes.
“I didn’t know you were engaged,” Logan’s brow knitted.
“Yeah,” Marcus shifted uncomfortably, “Well, I mean, you knew Sydney and I were dating last year, right?”
“Okay,” Logan agreed as Rainer choked back a chuckle. Logan clearly hadn’t known that Marcus and Sydney had been dating for a while.
“So, when’s the wedding?” Rainer asked. He rather liked the idea of Marcus being married.
“Next Sunday,” Marcus stammered. He looked terrified.
Vindico and Garrett both began laughing.
“Wow,” Logan nodded, “When did you ask her?”
He hadn’t clued in to what exactly was going on.
“Oh, uh, yesterday,” Marcus admitted. Suddenly, Logan’s eyes lit.
“Oh, ok, well sure, we’ll be there. I mean as long as Adeline doesn’t have to work. I guess.” He tried to smooth over his gaffe.
“You still with Adeline?” Marcus scoffed.
Rainer felt the fury roll in Logan’s energy.
“Yes, I am. I plan to be with her for pretty much, ever.”
“Oh, yeah, yeah,” Marcus realized his mistake. “I kind of thought you’d move on after school. I mean with your dad being a Governor and all.” Though he hadn’t said it, the implication was in all of the unspoken lines. I kind of thought you’d find somebody better after graduation.
Logan ground his teeth. Fury set in his eyes as Rainer stepped in.
“You know how it is, Marcus. Once you’ve found the one you’re meant to be with forever, you don’t let her walk away.” The threat was implicit in his tone.
“Oh, yeah, I know,” Marcus lied. “Well, uh, I need to get down to Dad’s office. Here are the invitations. I really want you to come.”