by Jillian Neal
“It’s only a couple of days,” Rainer urged, “So, she probably isn’t.”
Logan nodded his agreement. “I know, and even if she is, then that’s fine, too. I mean we’re young and all, but if she is, then I’m in. I’d marry her tomorrow.”
“I know. Hey, why don’t you go home and get some sleep. I’ll square it with your dad. He’ll get Vindico to give you some time off.” Rainer wasn’t certain how long Logan was going to be able to hold it together if he didn’t get some sleep.
He shook his head defiantly. “I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to deal with Mom. Adeline doesn’t want Mom and Dad to know she might be pregnant. I just don’t want to do anything.”
Casualties
By Thursday, Vindico was losing patience with Logan. Everyone was sympathetic, but Logan’s insistence on sleeping in his Accord in the parking lot of the run-down apartment complex was rendering him basically useless. As Vindico was trying desperately to train Rainer and Logan quickly, this posed quite a problem.
Governor Sapman had agreed that Marlisa’s throw at the Exhibition hadn’t been an accident, and he’d informed the Sirens that Iodex would be on the field for the Angels challenge versus the Sirens that Saturday.
Vindico had used the opportunity to train Rainer and Logan in different urban terrains. They’d been out to the arena, and had used everything from car batteries to the potential energy from fire extinguishers to fight. Logan had managed to drain a car battery, but he just hadn’t been able to do much with the energy.
Rainer was far more worried about the fact that he’d had to step in, when Logan began purchasing multiple six-packs of beer to drink while he sat in that parking lot outside the apartment complex night after night.
“Rainer,” Garrett gestured his head towards the coffee maker on the opposite end of the Iodex offices. “Look at this,” he thrust a stack of papers into Rainer’s gut.
Rainer studied the forms. They were hand-written notes on some of the bank accounts owned by different members of the Interfeci.
Iodex had been watching the accounts ever since Mitchell O’Ryan, Sr. had mentioned them to Vindico. As Rainer studied the documents, he realized that Logan had been watching the accounts yesterday, and that his notes were not only illegible, but the account numbers and transactions were incorrect.
Rainer had looked over the same accounts that morning, and one hundred and fifteen thousand dollars had been moved to an off- shore bank account in Belgium, not in Rio. The accounts in Rio hadn’t been active for several days.
“Dan’s gonna shit if he sees this. Fix it, and let me try to talk some sense into my little brother.”
“Lo, let’s go get something to eat,” Garrett commanded but, before Logan could respond, a man in hospital scrubs was escorted into the Iodex wing by a security guard. He gestured his head towards Logan, who’d looked up, along with everyone else seated at their desks.
“Who is that?” Rainer quizzed.
“Brad,” Logan stated without any tonality to his voice.
Vindico, who’d been standing at Tuttle’s desk, heard Logan’s explanation. His chiseled features rearranged quickly into an arrogant scowl. “Can I help you?”
Rainer appreciated his willingness to stand up for Logan.
But Brad kept his gaze locked on Logan. “Can I just talk to you please? I’m trying to help you,” he huffed as he took in all of the ominous scowls from Vindico’s elite team.
To add to his menacing glare, Garrett summoned a vibrant green cast repeatedly. It looked almost like he was throwing a ball in the air and catching it over and over again.
Rainer moved between Logan and Brad with a hate filled glare.
“Please,” Brad glanced around nervously.
“Fine, let’s do this!” Logan spat.
He shoved his chair back and threw his hands out. His invitation dared Brad to make a move. Disdain etched his entire body.
Brad’s head shook slightly as he walked towards Logan’s desk. “You want to talk here?” he gestured around to all of the inquiring eyes.
‘“Why not?”
“If that’s what you want.” Brad furrowed his brow as Vindico narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms so that his already bulging biceps seemed to burst from the sleeves of his shirt.
Brad glanced nervously between Garrett and Rainer. He drew a steadying breath, hemmed, and then seemed to force himself to go on.
“Look, I’m not interested in Adeline, so you can all lay off. I’m not stupid. I’m not going after an Iodex officer’s girl. I happen to like my face.”
Vindico chuckled ominously, “Smart man.”
“You gotta talk to her,” Brad began his plea.
Logan shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I hadn’t thought of that. She won’t talk to me.”
“Well, then you gotta do something,” Brad demanded. “She’s a disaster. If she makes one more mistake at work, they’re gonna let her go. Georgetown prides itself on having the best Medios, and she was doing great, but this week…” He shook his head in disbelief.
He glanced around nervously again and then edged closer to Logan’s desk. “She’s not by the way. I thought maybe that’s why she was so distracted, so I did a test, and she isn’t.”
He stumbled over how to tell Logan that Adeline wasn’t pregnant, without using the word ‘pregnant’.
Rainer felt relief wash through him, but, to his shock, Logan looked even more devastated.
Understanding settled on him. If she’d been pregnant with his baby, he felt like he had a fighting chance of getting her back, but now Logan felt like all hope was gone.
Vindico stepped in. “Hey, man, why don’t you take the rest of the day off? Go talk to her.”
Rainer suspected he was just as anxious as Brad for Logan to either get back together with Adeline or to move on.
“No, not now, you can’t come to the hospital. Like I said, I’ve been doing all of her work for her to try to keep her job safe. If you show up and create a scene in the middle of her shift, they will fire her.”
Logan looked sick as Rainer racked his brain and tried to come up with some way to help him.
“All right,” Logan nodded, “I’ll try to talk to her tonight.”
“Good,” Brad seemed relieved.
“Let’s go grab that lunch,” Garrett urged again.
“Yeah, sure,” Logan didn’t sound enthused in anyway.
Negotiations
~Logan Haydenshire~
Garrett slapped Logan on the back for the tenth time that week. Logan grimaced as he sank into the booth at Frye’s. He wanted people to stop slapping him on the back, wanted people to stop telling him that things would work out, or that he would be okay.
He wanted his mother to stop baking him things, and blinking back tears whenever she showed up at their house.
It wasn’t okay, and it wouldn’t be okay, ever. Nothing mattered anymore, not work, not Rainer, not his family, nothing.
He felt hollow and weak. He’d slept in his car for five nights in a row because he simply couldn’t leave her there by herself, any more than he could’ve crawled into the bed, which used to belong to the two of them, all alone.
The pain was more than emotional. His entire body ached. His heart couldn’t seem to find its steadying rhythm. He could hardly eat, and he didn’t care. He welcomed the pain; at least it was something he could feel.
Garrett slid into the booth across from Logan, and ordered them some burgers and fries along with Dr. Peppers, in an effort to get Logan to eat something. Nothing tasted good anymore.
“You know what you’re gonna say to her?”
“Probably nothing. Like I said, this won’t be the first time I’ve tried to talk to her. She won’t speak or even acknowledge my presence.”
Garrett gave him a sorrowful look.
“I’ve texted her a million times. I’ve called. She knows I’m sitting out in that fucking parking lot and does nothing.”<
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Garrett drew a deep breath. Logan braced himself. He clenched his jaw tightly. This wasn’t the first discussion various people had attempted to have with him about Adeline. He bit back the fervent desire to tell Garrett that if Rainer hadn’t come up with anything to make him feel better, then it wasn’t likely anyone else would.
“Sounds like you’re gonna have to make her talk to you. Even if you have to play dirty to get in her head, little bro.” Garrett turned and thanked the waiter as he set down their plates.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Logan tried not to sound overly intrigued. Playing dirty wasn’t usually his thing, but desperation had permeated his entire being.
“Well, not too dirty,” Garrett redacted.
He must’ve sounded a little too interested. He didn’t feel much like eating, so he waited on his brother to continue. He didn’t have the energy to prod him on.
“She feels guilty for all the stuff you’ve done, and that Mom and Dad have done for her, right?”
“That’s what she says, and that she feels like she has to be on her own, because eventually I won’t love her anymore.” He shook his head. It pained him to think about Adeline telling him that. It was even worse to repeat it to someone else.
Garrett gave him a devastated expression. Logan appreciated the sentiment, though it didn’t help him solve the problem.
“Right, so maybe use a little guilt to get her to talk to you.”
Fury sparked in his stomach. He glared at his older brother.
“That’s low, man.”
“I know, but times are bad, Lo. Honestly, I wasn’t going to tell you this, and it sounds like you have a lot longer than Adeline, but Dan’s not gonna put up with you like this forever.”
Logan swallowed hard. He tried to care. He dug deep but found himself simply unable. Work resided in the shallow depths and pain was all that existed beneath.
“I know.”
“How about something huge or unexpected?”
Logan’s brow knitted. “Like?”
Garrett sank his teeth into his burger, and wiped his mouth before answering.
“I don’t know, a ring? I’ll loan you the money.”
“She won’t even talk to me. Why on earth would she agree to marry me now?”
“Yeah, but you know girls like shit like that. Maybe a ring would make her feel more secure.”
Logan considered that before forcing himself to eat a few fries. Garrett shook his head suddenly, with a slight chuckle.
“What?” Logan demanded.
“Nothing; it was an incredibly stupid thought.”
“Tell me. I’d feel better if I wasn’t the only idiot sitting at this table.”
“You’re not an idiot, Logan,” Garrett immediately defended. “You’re heart-broken. She crushed you, but this isn’t over. It’s not like she fell for Brad, or some other guy. You’re both crazy for each other. You just gotta get her over herself.”
Hope did nothing more than lead to more hurt, so Logan only shrugged.
“For a second, I was gonna suggest talking to Mom, because she has Grandma’s old engagement ring, but, like I said, really, really, stupid idea.”
That, of all things, did make Logan chuckle. “Yeah, I will definitely not be giving her Gran’s ring.” He still couldn’t fathom how his grandmother had put up with Grandpa for all of those years.
She’d died when Logan was four, so he’d never known his grandmother that well, but he’d always hoped that heaven was a great reprieve from her life with Grandpa Haydenshire.
“No joke,” Garrett offered apologetically. They ate in silence for several minutes.
Logan sorted through what he desperately wished he could say to her. “What happens if she won’t listen? What happens if she’s lived in this kind of hell for so long, this is how she thinks life is supposed to be? What if I can’t get her back?” His horrific thoughts, the nightmares of his soul, unable to remain contained in his fractured heart, suddenly took wing on his voice.
“May we?” Vindico interrupted Logan’s hellish abyss.
“You mind, Lo?” Garrett looked thankful to see Vindico and Rainer. Logan wasn’t thrilled that anyone but Garrett and Rainer had just heard his worst fears, but there was nothing he could do, so he slid over as Rainer climbed into the booth beside him.
“She’s terrified, man,” Rainer immediately provided, “and nothing kills love like fear.”
“I know that,” Logan huffed.
“Yeah, but you’re going to have to help her see through all of that fear and back to you,” Vindico grabbed a fry off of Garrett’s plate and threw it in his mouth.
“How?”
“Well,” Rainer offered, “the smartest guy I know told me that you have to make her understand that you’re not only gonna keep her body safe, but that you’re gonna keep her heart and her soul safe as well.”
“Sam?”
Rainer nodded and continued. “Then he said that you have to talk over the fear. Make her hear you, and you gotta talk loud.”
With a smile, Vindico nodded. “That sounds about right to me.”
“I’ll try,” Logan sighed. He was just too afraid to hope, but he swallowed down the fear and turned to Rainer. “Can I ask you a big favor?”
“Anything.”
“Can I borrow, like, kind of a lot of money? I’ll pay you back.” He turned back to Vindico the next moment, as his brain seemed to re-engage slightly. “And can I still have the afternoon off?” Rainer handed Logan a signed blank check.
“You won’t pay me back, because I’m not letting you.”
Vindico smirked, “Well, you haven’t really been there all week, so I don’t see how it would make a difference. If whatever you’re planning might make you able to be the phenomenal academy grad I just hired for the Elite team, then please do.”
“Sorry,” Logan sighed.
After giving him a wry smile, Vindico shook his head. “Go get her back, Logan. Take it from me; letting someone you love this much slip through your fingers will be the biggest regret of your life.”
None So Blind…
Logan sat on the cold concrete floor of the apartment complex. He glanced at his watch for the sixth time in ten minutes.
His heart would race momentarily, then it would return to its sluggish beat. It seemed the task was too much for it in its current condition.
He still didn’t know what to say to her. All he wanted to do was hold her, be near her, feel her again, but that wasn’t going to get her through the fear, he reminded himself.
He had to talk, and she had to listen. His back ached from sitting and waiting. He leaned against the hard walls, and haphazardly pulled at the cracked, peeling paint while he waited.
Where is she? She should have been home by now. Logan stood and began pacing. He was unable to remain still. He heard a set of keys hit the concrete steps outside, and he turned.
She was there. She was carrying a basket of laundry, still wearing her scrubs, and hadn’t seen him yet. Logan’s heart finally began to sprint.
Her eyes were red and swollen. Her face was sunken, but she was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He stood there in that one endless moment and gazed at her. He prayed that God would give him the words he needed to make her understand how much he loved her.
“Adeline,” he choked.
She gasped, and dropped her keys again. He reached and retrieved them for her. “Can I help you with those?” he gestured to the laundry.
She shook her head combatively. “I told you not to come here.”
After deciding that perhaps desperate times did call for desperate measures, he clenched his jaw for the length of one heartbeat and forced himself to speak. “Yeah, well I gave you over four years of my life, so I think I deserve one conversation,” his voice edged towards fury.
“No,” she was determined but clearly shocked by his demand.
“Yes,” he insisted, “I’m not leaving, Adeline,
not until you’ve heard me out. I think you owe me that much. So, we can talk here, or in the apartment, or wherever the hell you want, but we’re gonna talk.”
Defeat settled in her eyes as she nodded. She refused to let him help her as she balanced the laundry basket and unlocked the door.
The apartment was basically the same as he remembered it from when her mother had lived there. There was virtually no furniture, only a bed in the one bedroom. Adeline had always slept on the couch. Logan noted the sleeping bag in the back corner of the living room.
“Somebody else been staying here?” His heart felt like it might actually shatter into irreparable pieces of despair.
“No,” Adeline shook her head. She set a stack of scrubs and panties on the small counter in the kitchenette.
As Logan studied the couch, he understood the reason for the sleeping bag. She certainly didn’t want to sleep in what was once her mother’s bed, and the stains on the couch must’ve made it equally as horrifying.
Though he fought them, the words slipped from his lips in an infuriated huff. “I don’t guess I realized I was so awful to live with.” He gestured around the disgusting apartment.
A sob shook through her, and he instantly hated himself. “I’m sorry,” he pled, but she shook her head.
He moved to her. He was desperate to hold her, to let her cry into his chest, to tell her that it would be all right, but she wasn’t his to do that with anymore. The bitter truth settled harshly in the pit of his stomach.
“Why are you here?” her voice shook violently.
Logan glanced back at the couch. He thought it might be nice if she could sit down to hear him out. He shuddered slightly at the thought of her sitting on that sofa, and then began what he’d come there to say.
“I’m here because I love you, Adeline. And, you know what else, if you’d broken up with me because you wanted somebody else or because another guy made you feel something that I never could then I’d walk away and let you have that because all in the world that I want is for you to be happy.”
“I’d still be devastated, and heartbroken, and hell just broken all together, but I would. I would walk away and not come back, if that’s what you wanted. But that’s not what you want, and I know it. I can feel it.”