Brother of Daphne

by Dornford Yates

  “Oh, well, you’d better do it. Hadn’t he, Dolly? We aren’t pressed for time, are we, my dear?”

  “Oh, no. That is – I mean, of course. Please do everything you can, Norval.”

  “Very good, madam.”

  I got some tools out of the tool-box and began to take the pipe down.

  “Hadn’t you better take your dust-coat off, man?” said Berry.

  “No, thank you, sir.”

  Berry turned to Lord Brethe, who had come to watch the operation.

  “All this comes through letting my young brother-in-law play about with the car,” he explained airily.

  “No, really?” said Lord Brethe.

  “Yes,” said Berry. “He’s done more damage, the few times he’s driven it, than a skilled chauffeur would do in five years.”

  “Dear me,” said the other. “Knows nothing of the mechanism, I suppose?”

  “Doesn’t know the difference between the carburettor and the – er – exhaust.”

  Lord Brethe laughed. “Dear, dear. These young men,” he said.

  Here the spanner I was using slipped off a nut.

  “Gently, my man, gently,” said Berry pleasantly.

  “Yes,” said Lord Brethe, “be careful of the paint.”

  I almost choked.

  “Won’t you two come and talk to us?” the girl called from the other side of the road.

  “I always like watching a repair, dear,” replied her uncle. “And Mr Pleydel is an expert.”

  “I think I’d better be here just to supervise,” said Berry. “Er – have you your cotton-waste handy, man?”

  “It’s on the step, sir,” I said with an effort. “Do you want it?”

  “No, no. But you should always keep it by you.”

  I wiped the sweat off my forehead.

  “Will you smoke?” said Lord Brethe, producing a cigar case.

  “Ah, thanks,” said Berry. With the tail of my eye I saw that it was a Corona Corona. By this time I had taken the pipe down. It was choked with a regular wad of dirt. I remembered bitterly that, when I left them at Strasburg, I had begged them never to fill up without a filter.

  “So that was the obstruction?” said his lordship.

  I straightened my back.

  “Comes of not using a filter, my lord.”

  Berry’s brows contracted. He touched the wad with his foot.

  “No,” he said loftily. “This has clearly worked in from the engine. It is a piece of valve-packing.”

  I sighed. Heaven only knows what he thought he meant. But old Brethe lapped it up. Heavily I began to replace the pipe. As I unscrewed them, I put the nuts on the step. Now one was missing. It had rolled off.

  “Lost something?” said Berry.

  “A nut, sir. I shall see it directly.”

  “Never put anything where it can roll off, man. When you are executing a repair, always lay your tools on the ground and mark the place. It’s quicker in the long run. Found it?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Wipe it carefully before replacing it.” He turned to Lord Brethe. “You’ll excuse me, but you can’t be too careful, can you?”

  “No, indeed. Quite right, quite right,” said the old fool. “We’re none of us too old to learn.”

  The repair was finished at last. I started up the engine, just to make sure she was all right, put away the tools, wiped my hands on a piece of cotton-waste, and resumed my seat in my lady’s car without a word.

  The girl, looking flushed and anxious, followed her aunt into the car. Lord Brethe climbed in after them. The others stood round.

  “It’s been awfully kind of you to lend us your chauffeur like this,” said Daphne. “I don’t know—”

  “Oh – er – that’s all right,” stammered the girl.

  “Only too glad,” said Lord Brethe. “Mr Pleydel’s been very good and given him several wrinkles well worth having.”

  “Don’t mention it,” said Berry, with a smirk.

  “Here you are, my man.” I took the crown he offered me in silence and raised my hat. A crown is worth ten pence. As I was letting in the clutch, I heard Jill’s voice on my left.

  “Thank you very much indeed for helping us so beautifully,” she said, and laid her posy of wild flowers on the seat by my side.

  “Thank you, madam.”

  As we moved off:

  “What a queer child!” said Lady Brethe.

  Two hours later the girl and I slipped once more out of Laipnik. When we were clear of the town, I stopped for a moment, and she took her old seat by my side. For a minute or two neither of us spoke. Then she reached up and took off my cap and pitched it behind into the car. I laughed.

  “I wanted to do that a dozen times this afternoon,” she said. “And I’d have done it, too, if I’d had the courage of a field mouse.”

  “You know what I’ve wanted to do a dozen times this afternoon, don’t you?”

  “And these odious people. Will you ever forgive me? If it’s any consolation to you, I nearly died of shame.”

  “And I nearly punched Berry’s head and spoiled it all.”

  “Berry’s?”

  I explained. When I had finished:

  “It was nice of Jill to give you those flowers,” she said. “Dear of her. But I shall never forgive Berry.”

  “He’s only human,” said I. “And he really was awfully funny.”

  “I shall tell him what I think of him.”

  “We’ve all done that once a week for five years. My dear, he’s quite hopeless. Besides, he gave me a whole crown.”

  “And uncle gave you five. I saw him. I nearly cried, it made me so angry.”

  “Six altogether,” said I. “I bought you some carnations with them. They’re in the hood.”

  “Sweet of you, Norval. Coals of fire?”

  “No, dear. Only malmaisons. Isn’t that beautiful?”

  We had climbed until we were at the top of a pass. Over the mountains the sun was going down. The great valley was already in shadow, but the light on the high woods was wonderful. Away on the top of a hill a little white shrine stood up like a candlestick against the sky. A rosy flush lay on the distant snow mountains, and the heavens themselves were filled with a great red glory. The same thought occurred to both of us.

  “Who wouldn’t be a day?” said I.

  “It’s worth living only twelve hours to die a death like that.”

  We reached Savavic about half past seven. I drove straight to the garage. She watched me put the car away and waited while I slipped into my brogues. Then:

  “Now I must be off to Poganec,” said I. “So endeth the first day’s service.”

  “And the last.”

  I drew myself up.

  “Am I dismissed, then?”

  “Oh, well—”

  “Of course, if you’re not satisfied, madam—”

  “But I am, only—”

  “Then,” said I, “I’ll stop on. Good night, beautiful Doll.”

  “Dolly.”

  “Dolly, then.”

  I swept off my hat and turned to go.

  “Don’t you want to – er – shake me?” said Dolly.

  I reached Poganec just as they were finishing dinner. As I entered the room:

  “Hullo,” said Berry. “This your night out?”

  “That’ll do,” said I. “You had your show this afternoon.”

  “My show? My humiliation,” said my brother-in-law. “Think of it. My wife’s brother in service. How can I ever hold up this noble head again? And this after all my years of striving to elevate. But there! Can the leopard change his spots, or the chauffeur his boots? By the way, how did you get into them? Rather a tight fit, wasn’t it? You don’t look very penitent. I suppose you know I’m bowed with grief?”

  “I see you’re gorged with food,” said I. “Haven’t you any dinner for me?”

  “It’s in a red handkerchief by the coach-house door,” said Berry. “Now you can go. I shan’
t want you any more tonight. Don’t forget the – ah – wrinkle I gave you about the cotton-waste.”

  “Fancy Boy earning some money!” said Daphne. “What wages d’you get?”

  “Six-and-ten-pence farthing a week,” said I, “and all found.”

  “That’s a dangerous phrase,” said Jonah. “Might mean anything.”

  “Exactly,” said Berry. “It includes boots, we know. What else besides boots?”

  “Depends on the man,” said I.

  “It does,” said Daphne. “And that’s why you’ve got to give notice at once.”

  “Notice?”

  I felt Jill’s hand pushing my hair back from my forehead. She was standing behind my chair.

  “Yes,” she said, “and come back to us. Fact is, Boy, we can’t spare you.”

  Introductory Titles

  (in order of first publication)

  These titles can be read as a series, or randomly as standalone novels

  1. The Brother of Daphne 1914

  2. The Courts of Idleness 1920

  Bertram ‘Berry’ Pleydell Titles

  (in order of first publication)

  These titles can be read as a series, or randomly as standalone novels

  1. Berry and Co 1921

  2. Jonah and Co 1922

  3. Adèle and Co 1931

  4. And Berry Came Too 1936

  5. The House that Berry Built 1945

  6. The Berry Scene 1947

  7. As Berry and I were Saying 1952

  8. B-Berry and I Look Back 1958

  Richard Chandos & Colleagues Titles

  (in order of first publication)

  These titles can be read as a series, or randomly as standalone novels

  1. Blind Corner 1927

  2. Perishable Goods 1928

  3. Blood Royal 1929

  4. Fire Below alt: By Royal Command 1930

  5. She Fell Among Thieves 1935

  6. An Eye for a Tooth 1943

  7. Red in the Morning alt: Were Death Denied 1946

  8. Cost Price alt: The Laughing Bacchante 1949

  Other Novels

  (in order of first publication)

  1. She Painted Her Face 1937

  2. Gale Warning 1939

  3. Ne’er-Do-Well 1954

  Synopses of Yates’ Titles

  Published by House of Stratus

  Adèle & Co

  This is the first full-length novel featuring Yates’ finest comic creation, Bertram ‘Berry’ Pleydell. The popular character of Adéle is based on the author’s first wife, Bettine, a highly gregarious American dancer and actress. Written in response to massive public demand for the Berry stories, this is regarded as one of Yates’ best books. Amongst the madcap escapades of the Pleydell clan as they career about the French countryside you will find ‘crime, criminals, and some of the funniest writing in the English language’.

  And Berry Came Too

  Eight stories in which we encounter ‘the hair-raising adventures and idiotic situations of the Pleydell family’ (Punch). Along with John Buchan and ‘Sapper’, Yates dominated the adventure book market of the inter-war years, and Berry is regarded as one of British comic writing’s finest creations, including Tom Sharpe amongst his fans. Read these and weep (with laughter).

  As Berry & I Were Saying

  Reprinted four times in three months, this semi-autobiographical novel is a humorous account of the author’s hazardous experiences in France, at the end of the World War II. Darker and less frivolous than some of Yates’ earlier books, he describes it as ‘really my own memoir put into the mouths of Berry and Boy’, and at the time of publication it already had a nostalgic feel. A great hit with the public and a ‘scrapbook of the Edwardian age as it was seen by the upper-middle classes’.

  B-Berry & I Look Back

  This is Yates’ final book, a semi-autobiographical novel spanning a lifetime of events from the sinking of the Titanic to the notorious Tichborne murder case. It opens with Berry, one of British comic writing’s finest creations, at his funniest, and is a companion volume to As Berry and I Were Saying. Pure, vintageYates.

  Berry & Co

  This collection of short stories featuring ‘Berry’ Pleydell and his chaotic entourage established Dornford Yates’ reputation as one of the best comic writers in a generation, and made him hugely popular. The German caricatures in the book carried such a sting that when France was invaded in 1939 Yates, who was living near the Pyrenées, was put on the wanted list and had to flee.

  The Berry Scene

  These stories, written by huge popular demand, give us classic Berry Pleydell – Yates’ finest comic character – at the top of his form. The first story sees Berry capturing a German spy at a village cricket match in 1914, and things get more bizarre from then on. A self-consciously nostalgic work harking back to more decorous days, here are tense plotting and high farce of the best kind.

  Blind Corner

  This is Yates’ first thriller: a tautly plotted page-turner featuring the crime-busting adventures of suave Richard Chandos. Chandos is thrown out of Oxford for ‘beating up some Communists’, and on return from vacation in Biarritz he witnesses a murder. Teaming up at his London club with friend Jonathan Mansel, a stratagem is devised to catch the killer. The novel has compelling sequels: Blood Royal, An Eye For a Tooth, Fire Below and Perishable Goods.

  Blood Royal

  At his chivalrous, rakish best in a story of mistaken identity, kidnapping, and old-world romance, Richard Chandos takes us on a romp through Europe in the company of a host of unforgettable characters. This fine thriller can be read alone or as part of a series with Blind Corner, An Eye For a Tooth, Fire Below and Perishable Goods.

  Brother of Daphne

  Daphne is ‘well-born, elegant, beautiful, and not especially bright’. In this, Yates’ earliest collection of stories, we meet the Pleydell clan and encounter their high-spirited comic adventures. It is a world of Edwardian gentility and accomplished farce that brought the author instant fame when the stories appeared in Windsor Magazine.

  Cost Price

  A story from Dornford Yates’ later career, of stolen treasure, set against a backdrop of World War II: adventure, a travelling circus and much more besides. Lots of favourite Yates characters are here, as well as some new ones, like the Portuguese mule in trousers, and a few striking villains. This is the legendary Chandos’ final fictional appearance. A tense, assured plot and vintage comedy from a master of the genre.

  Courts of Idleness

  These comic stories are set during World War I and the period just after, when the genteel world of Edwardian England had changed beyond recognition. One of Yates’ earliest books, it harks back to that more decorous, decadent time, and we encounter the madcap adventures of a group of well-to-do young people as they career across Europe from Madeira to Macedonia fighting heinous villains and solving mysteries.

  Eye for a Tooth

  On the way home from Germany after having captured Axel the Red’s treasure, dapper Jonathan Mansel happens upon a corpse in the road, that of an Englishman. There ensues a gripping tale of adventure and vengeance of a rather gentlemanly kind. On publication this novel was such a hit that it was reprinted six times in its first year, and assured Yates’ huge popularity. A classic Richard Chandos thriller, which can be read alone or as part of a series including Blind Corner, Blood Royal, Fire Below and Perishable Goods.

  Fire Below

  Richard Chandos makes a welcome return in this classic adventure story. Suave and decadent, he leads his friends into forbidden territory to rescue a kidnapped (and very attractive) young widow. Yates gives us a highly dramatic, almost operatic, plot and unforgettably vivid characters. A tale in the traditional mould, and a companion novel to Blind Corner, Blood Royal Perishable Goods and An Eye For A Tooth.

  Gale Warning

  Jonathan Mansel, one of Dornford Yates’ most popular characters, heads a small private organisation dedicated to the
detection of serious crime ‘by methods sadly unavailable to the regular police’. An aristocratic member of his team is murdered and the avengers set out in pursuit of the killer, in a tale of ‘violence and a measure of sublimated sex’. Caricatured villains, a page-turning plot and some good jokes – in short, classic Yates.

  House That Berry Built

  A comic romp featuring the famous ‘Berry’ Pleydell and based on Yates’ own experience of building a house for himself in the Pyrenées – sumptuous, expensive and idyllically located. The house was seized by the Germans during World War II, and this tale, written soon afterwards, gives a hilarious account of its construction and early life. Yates at the peak of his form.

  Jonah & Co

  These are some of Yates’ early short stories featuring the comic Pleydell clan, and on publication proved just a successful and popular as Berry and Co had been. They describe the chaotic journey of the young, well-to-do heroes as they cavort across France, and helped to establish Yates’ reputation as a master of humorous fiction.

  Ne’er Do Well

  This is Dornford Yates’ only ‘straight’ detective novel – it is an uncommon murder story set in a convent, and reveals Yates’ supreme talent for tension, strong characters and a page-turning plot. For traditional tale-telling at its finest, look no further.

  Perishable Goods

  Classic Yates, this novel featuring the suave Richard Chandos was reprinted three times within the first month of publication, was warmly received by the critics and served hugely to expand the author’s already large readership. Typically deft, pacey and amusing, it ‘contains every crime in the calendar and a heart-rending finale’ (A J Smithers). A companion novel to Blind Corner, Blood Royal, An Eye For A Tooth and Fire Below. Gripping stuff.

  Red In The Morning

  Set in France after the war amongst the beautiful landscapes of Biarritz, Pau and the Pyrenées, Yates’ favourite thriller hero Richard Chandos returns with Jonathan Mansel in a story of temptation, subterfuge, adventure and revenge. Regarded by many as Yates at the top of his form.