Guarded Desire

by Christi Snow

  Table of Contents

  Guarded Desire (NM Protectors, #1)

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Epilogue

  THANK YOU...

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  Further Reading: When Love Comes Back

  Kidnapped and terrorized, I refuse to let them break me. I can stand on my own, no matter what it costs...even if that cost is my life.

  Elle...

  I was living the life of an ordinary college coed, but that existence was blown wide open when I was kidnapped while visiting my very famous mother, rock-star, ViviAnna.

  Now I’m back at college, pretending life is normal while dodging paparazzi and dealing with my face showing up regularly on the nightly news. Trying to find a new balance isn’t happening and the effort to not jump at every shadow or bump in the night is messing with my head more than I ever expected.

  Jonah...

  I’m a highly trained bodyguard, but that doesn’t mean I want to deal with some spoiled pop princess’s daughter, especially if she’s anything like her handsy mother.

  But when I met Elle, she shocked the hell out of me. She’s nice and thoughtful with an incredible inner strength. Even more surprising...she doesn’t want me anywhere near her. But every once in a while I see a flash of fear and vulnerability that make all my protective instincts flare.

  I have to protect her.

  Because they never caught her kidnapper...

  Note: This book is the first in a series of stand-alone, romantic suspense, new adult novels involving sexy bodyguards and the coeds who are in danger.

  Guarded Desire

  (NM Protectors #1)

  by

  Christi Snow

  Published by Christi Snow

  Edited by Mia Downing

  Cover Design by AM Design Studios

  Cover Photograph: Joseph Suarez

  Cover Model: Gus Caleb Smyrnios

  Copyright © 2018 Christina Snow

  ISBN (print): 1718920679

  ISBN-13 (print): 978-1718920675

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Except for use in a review, no part of this book may be copied, reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form, or by any means, without the express permission of the author.

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  www.christi-snow.com

  This book is a work of fiction. While sometimes actual locations are used in the writing of this book, they are used in a fictional circumstance and are by no means meant to reflect events happening in those places. Names, characters, events are all a product of the author’s imagination and are by no means meant to reflect actual people living or dead, or any actual events. Any similarities are purely coincidental.

  Dedication:

  For anyone who’s ever wanted to blend into the background...

  Let your light shine, darling!

  Prologue

  Press Release from TENews

  Anonymous sources from within the Austin Police Department have confirmed that Illumination Wilcox has been located alive. The daughter of acclaimed musician and actress, ViviAnna, had been reported missing two days ago in an unconfirmed kidnapping.

  The rarely seen offspring of music legend ViviAnna had been in town to help support her mother with the reveal of her new clothing line just in time for the holiday season. Rumors had run rampant that Illumination had even been slated as the premier star of the runway show, which is quite a departure for the normally camera-shy twenty-one year old.

  While officially the police department is keeping things very hush about Illumination’s condition when she was located, our sources tell us that she was in good condition and looked more like her mother than anyone would have ever guessed. The normally bland-dressing woman was found in full makeup, an elegant couture gown, and her hair dyed the same color as her famous mother’s, although Illumination had begun darkening her naturally light hair at a very early age.

  It’s all rather suspicious.

  We’ve also been told there are zero suspects in the young Ms. Wilcox’s alleged kidnapping.

  Prior to this, Miss Wilcox has made it a point to stay as far from her mother’s fame as possible. So, the question has to be...what changed? Or was this a huge publicity stunt out of ViviAnna’s camp? She’s always known how to get people talking about her, and this definitely has put more eyes on her new clothing line than ever before.

  Tonight, everyone at the Austin, Texas fashion show, which hasn’t been cancelled, is clamoring for a glimpse of the young college coed and victim.

  We’ll be the first to let you know if Illumination Wilcox is on the catwalk.

  Chapter One

  Elle

  Three weeks later...

  I shivered as a wave of fear rolled over me. Looking at the big windows of my penthouse loft in downtown Gran Colina, New Mexico shouldn’t affect me like this. I was safe now.

  When I’d bought this loft, I’d loved those windows and all the light they infused into the apartment, but that had been when I’d lived in relative obscurity. Now after only being home for a few hours, all I could think about was how many eyes were out there, watching me through the clear glass.

  And any of them could be his.

  I wrapped my arms around my waist, feeling the tremors start deep inside. No, I’m stronger than this, I chanted to myself as I sank to the floor behind the safety of my kitchen island. No one could see me behind this thick wood.

  I reached up and felt my way across the countertop for the remote to shut the floor-to-ceiling curtains. My hands shook so bad, I could barely hold the tiny piece of plastic to find the button. Finally, I could hear the rhythmic whirring of the motors that controlled the huge swaths of fabric shrouding my apartment in darkness so unlike the bright-shining, New Mexico sky.

  But that didn’t stop his voice inside my head, mocking me. I’ll make you famous. You’ll be my most renowned creation.

  I had never seen his face, and I knew that more than one cop had thought I’d made the whole thing up, but I could guarantee them that I’d never forget that creepy, sing-song voice. I could identify him by voice recognition alone. How could I forget it when it had haunted me every moment after he’d drugged and kidnapped me, making me into the very image of my way-too-famous mother before disappearing into the night.

  Stop it!

  Going through it in my head over and over and over again would slowly drive me insane. That’s why I’d escaped my mother’s house in Texas. I couldn’t live like this. I’d always prided myself in being strong and independent. It was time to take my life back. I wouldn’t let him steal it from me.

  I called the front desk of my building.

  “Ms. Wilcox, is everything okay?”

  “Yes, Jennifer, everything’s fine.”

  Jennifer Sloane ran security for the building, and she was tougher than any bodyguard that ViviAnna had ever hired to protect me, but since her bodyguards were usually glorified boy-toys, that wasn’t too surprising.

  That w
as part of the reason I chose to live in this building. I liked that the head of security was a woman and tough as nails. It also meant my mom wouldn’t try to get in her pants. Thankfully, mom’s experiments with lesbianism had failed right along with her album on feminism. That awful publicity ploy had been an utter bomb.

  I cleared my throat and peeked around the island to the massive, twenty-foot high windows now shrouded in darkness, but I still didn’t feel safe. In my mind, I knew the bulletproof glass would protect me, but that didn’t stop the ants from crawling under my skin.

  “I’m sorry, Jennifer, I know this isn’t your area, but I was wondering if you might be able to help me.”

  “I’ll do my best. What seems to be the problem?”

  “I need...” My voice cracked, and I cleared my throat. “Um, sorry. I need something to cover my windows. Shutters, I think. Metal ones.” My voice wavered, and I just prayed Jennifer couldn’t hear the fear in it, but then I considered my request. Yeah, I might be becoming unhinged. I laughed a little hysterically. “I know. That sounds crazy, right?”

  “No.” Her voice softened. “Would you like me to come up and check your apartment for you? I have equipment that can sweep it inside and out for bugs or any other electronic devices like cameras.”

  My breath whooshed out of me, and I almost sobbed in relief. “That would be...helpful. Thank you, Jennifer.”

  As I turned off my cell phone, I knocked it against my forehead. Of course, she had seen the story. Everyone in the country had seen the story. Poor, little, rich girl, kidnapped by a phantom, by someone who the police couldn’t even verify existed. It hadn’t taken long for the press to glom onto the idea that it was all a hoax.

  But it wasn’t.

  I still heard his voice.

  I’ll make you famous.

  That was the one thing I’d spent my whole life trying to avoid, and already, it was happening. In the past three weeks, my name had been in every paper, on every newscast in the country, but instead of becoming famous, I had become infamous.

  I’d run home to escape it all, but as the prickles under my skin increased, I began to think that there was no escape from this living nightmare.

  AFTER JENNIFER CAME and swept my loft for bugs, I managed to calm the panicked ants crawling under my skin. It helped that I’d sent an SOS out to my best friend, Trace, and he’d promised to be there as quickly as humanly possible. He’d been shooting a video for a commercial up in Santa Fe. He hadn’t known I’d be coming back today, or he would have already been here, taking care of me. I just had to survive the quiet alone for the two hours it would take him to drive from Santa Fe down to Gran Colina.

  Trace had been taking care of me from the time my mother gave him to me for my fifteenth birthday. What? Didn’t everyone’s mother give her a hot, viral guy to take their virginity when they turned fifteen? Yeah, I know...totally unfair. But that’s what it’s like having grown up as ViviAnna’s offspring.

  But it didn’t work out quite like she’d planned since Trace was gay, and I had no desire to shed my pesky virginity just because VA decreed it. Instead, Trace had become my very best friend, and the one person in this world who kept me safe when ViviAnna’s crazy seemed to be taking over.

  Case in point...the circus my life had become in the last three weeks. Paparazzi, panic attacks, and paranoia...oh my. I’ve needed my best friend more the last few weeks than I ever had in my entire life. The problem...ViviAnna wasn’t aware that I’d never let him go after my supposed deflowering. Since he was trying to survive in an already brutal entertainment industry, he and I agreed it wasn’t worth the risk to let her know. One bad word from her could ruin him. I refused to have that on my conscience.

  Instead, I’d spent the last three weeks trying to ignore the building panic buzzing inside of me to the point that I’m now having panic attacks inside my completely secure apartment.

  Even that thought had my heartbeat speeding up again. Crap. I tried to gain control. Wasn’t there something on the internet about breathing into a paper bag to stop things like this?

  I frantically started yanking my kitchen drawers open. Why didn’t I have any paper bags? Would recycling shopping bags work? As the spots began to encroach on my vision, I decide it couldn’t hurt. I sank to the floor and pressed my face into the recycled bag, focused on slowing down my breathing.

  It felt like it took hours, but eventually, the elephant taking up residence on top of my chest began to climb off, leaving me exhausted and more than a little strung out.

  I still sat on my kitchen floor, the idea of facing those windows enough to feed the tendrils of another panic attack looming.

  Instead, I grabbed my cell phone and crawled across the width of my living room to the guest bedroom next to it. This room had been built as a panic room with a false wall included. But even after the wall closed behind me, I still didn’t feel secure enough. I crawled into the solid, thick wood armoire where I stored my winter wardrobe. Only as I settled inside the smaller space did I feel like I could breathe again.

  I set the alarm on my phone so that I would be out before Trace arrived in two hours. He might be my best friend, but he didn’t know how deep my crazy was running right now.

  No one needed to know.

  Exhaustion pulled at me.

  I just needed to relax and maybe take a little nap. Then, I’d feel like my normal self again...able to face the windows of my apartment. Even with the shivering, I finally started to feel myself drift off to sleep.

  Chapter Two

  Jonah

  I gritted my teeth and shifted to the side as ViviAnna placed her hand high on my thigh again. From the moment I’d met her five hours ago, it had been a battle to fight off her wandering hands. Now, I just hoped the limo driver arrived at Illumination’s apartment building quickly. Even in this huge stretch limo that ViviAnna insisted on hiring, there wasn’t enough room to get away from her hands that seemed to multiply every time I turned around.

  “Have you ever been to Gran Colina, Jonah?” ViviAnna purred.

  I couldn’t see her eyes through her large, oversized sunglasses, but I had a feeling that if I could, they would have looked predatory. Thank fuck I’d be working with her daughter and not her, although at first I’d balked at working with either of them. Guarding overindulged divas or their brats was not high on my list of things I enjoyed, but my boss, Samantha, had insisted I take this assignment. After looking at the details of the case, I’d agreed.

  “No, but I’ve been fully briefed on the area from our team at Hawk Works. I can guarantee you that I will keep Illumination completely safe. No one will touch her.” Gran Colina was a bustling suburb outside Albuquerque that’s claim to fame was the large New Mexico Tech University. The area had become a mecca for tech industries that had flooded the town in the last decade.

  For a moment, I saw a flash of worried mother persona as she bit her lip, turning away from me to gaze out the window. Throughout this entire hiring process, I hadn’t once seen that little bit of vulnerability. She’d been just how she presented to the public...a tough woman who knew her own mind and what she wanted no matter what. I could see how she’d been so successful, first as a rock star, but then trailblazing her way into every other part of the entertainment industry. ViviAnna was a force.

  She was an incredibly gorgeous woman. Although she had to be getting close to sixty, she looked at least twenty years younger than that and had kept herself in peak physical condition. From the clips I’d seen of her shows, she could dance as well now as she could when she had made it big at the age of nineteen.

  Her hair was still bleach-blonde and long. No doubt she kept her hairdresser on speed dial to keep it that color. Her skin pulled a bit unnaturally around her neck and chin, proving that her youthful appearance wasn’t all good genetics.

  I’d seen the photos of Illumination taken immediately after her kidnapping and the photos of her from before. Illumination was famous for the fac
t that she didn’t want to have anything to do with her famous mother. I’d done quite a bit of research for this job and had watched as ViviAnna’s daughter had asserted her individuality as she’d grown up. When she’d been young, her mother had trotted her down every red carpet, dressing and styling her like a “mini” me of ViviAnna.

  But at about the age of ten, things started to change. Illumination had started wearing baggier clothing, dying her hair darker colors, never wore makeup or spent time on her hair, basically doing everything she could to fade into the background of the spotlight that surrounded ViviAnna at all times.

  But the kidnapper had altered her appearance. There seemed to be little doubt that Illumination had been targeted as a result of some sort of obsession with her mother. One only had to look at what the kidnapper had done to her to see that. He’d completely transformed her from the fade-into-the-background college coed and turned her into...her mother, but a younger, more beautiful version of her.

  The difference had been astounding, but even more so to realize that with a few minor changes to her hair and makeup, and Illumination could be a double for her mother.

  Everyone assumed that’s why she’d been targeted. ViviAnna’s entourage of security and personnel guaranteed that no one could get close to the famous star unless she wanted them there.

  Illumination had never had that kind of security and had paid the price.

  But I’d been hired to keep her safe. That was my job and my number one priority, but the vulnerability in Illumination’s eyes in the photos the police had taken of her after her kidnapping guaranteed my allegiance. Something about the terrified look in her gaze dug deep into my gut, wounding me. I never wanted to see that young girl victimized like that again.

  I removed ViviAnna’s hand from my thigh.

  But first, I had to survive her mother. Who knew the biggest test of this job would be evading the client? At least I hoped that was my biggest challenge.

  Thankfully, the limo pulled to a stop outside an eleven-story building. I stepped out of the car and looked at the buildings surrounding it, taking in threats.