Guarded Desire

by Christi Snow

  She immediately started shaking her head, but ViviAnna pointed a finger at her. “No! This is not up for debate. You either accept Jonah as your bodyguard, or you’re coming home with me where I can keep you safe in my gated compound.”

  “You can’t force me. I’m an adult.” She actually stomped her foot, which was kind of cute. Even though she didn’t wear a stitch of makeup on that pale, exhausted face, and her clothes were at least three sizes too big, her eyes were expressive enough to be utterly captivating. The chocolate-brown color sparked with gold and turned her utterly breathtaking in her temper.

  “Watch me, Illumination.”

  “It’s Elle!”

  ViviAnna’s eyes flashed so much like her daughter’s. “No, it’s not. I named you. I know good and well what is on your birth certificate, so don’t you sass me, girl.” ViviAnna’s lips thinned and she sent a scathing look at her daughter. “Yes, you are an adult. An adult who—it’s been very well documented—has been through a terrible ordeal. One that may have made you make questionable decisions because of the mental trauma and anguish you’ve been through. If you think I won’t have you declared mentally incompetent”—ViviAnna glared daggers at her daughter, challenging her—“Push me. I dare you. I will do anything to keep you safe.”

  Damn, that was harsh.

  While I agreed that Illumination needed better personal security, I wasn’t so sure this was the best way to handle her headstrong, independent daughter. The explosive outcome might injure both of them.

  ViviAnna flipped her hair back and glanced at me. “I’ve made a plan with the security company where Jonah works, so he can transition into your life here seamlessly. No one will realize he’s anything more than your boyfriend.”

  “Boyfriend?” Illumination practically screeched before she gave me a scathing, up-and-down look with a twist of her lips that said I was lower than the dirt on her shoe. “I don’t need your skanky leftovers, Mom,” she bit out. “Mom” sounded like a defiled, curse word.

  “That’s enough, Illumination.” ViviAnna’s voice boomed through the apartment, and her entourage began to shift uncomfortably. “Jonah is here. He is staying. You will make it work.” Then she turned and strode toward the door, and everyone filed out behind her.

  After the door closed behind them, all that was left was ViviAnna’s incredibly noxious perfume and uncomfortable silence.

  “So.” Illumination turned to me and focused on my groin. “You must have an amazing cock for ViviAnna to hold you in such high regard, but don’t be getting any ideas. You stay away from me, and I’ll stay away from you. Comprende?”

  I resisted the urge to blow out a sigh. “Listen, I get that you don’t want me here. But I’ve studied your file and your kidnapping. This guy isn’t messing around. He’s completely obsessed and sees you as a means to focus that obsession. In my professional opinion, he isn’t going to give up. In fact, I’d imagine he’s out there right now, trying to figure out another way to get to you.”

  Again she glanced uneasily at her large, curtained windows.

  “That.” I pointed at her face and then the wall of windows. “That is why you need me. Don’t you want to be able to relax and concentrate on classes and your studying, not having to look behind your back every few minutes to see who might be watching you, stalking you? That will be my job.”

  She tilted her head and studied me. “Yeah, I could see you as a credible stalker.”

  This time I didn’t even try to hold in my sigh of frustration. “Why do you want to make this so hard? I’m here to keep you safe and make it easier to live your life.”

  “If that’s what I actually thought would happen, I’d be all for it. But face it, you’re just another one of ViviAnna’s boys, trying to stay in her good graces...which means her panties and her pocketbook. I’m not interested in helping your career path any.” She sneered the two words.

  “Okay, that’s it.” I slammed my hands down on top of the counter. “Let’s get one thing straight, Illumination.”

  “Elle!”

  It would be a cold day in hell before I’d call her that simply because every time someone called her by her birth name, her eyes sparked fire, and that look meant she was far from defeated or ready to play victim. I could respect that and wanted to see more of that grit. I just wouldn’t let her know it.

  “Illumination,” I said again in calm, grating tones that spoke of my dissolving patience. “I have not ever and definitely will not ever sleep with your mother. She hired me as a bodyguard only. That’s my one and only job responsibility, and I’m damn good at it if I do say so myself.”

  She scoffed out a harsh laugh. “How good could you be? I left Austin eight hours ago. She had to hire you and get you here. There’s no way if you were all that, that you would have been available on such short notice.”

  “For your information, your mother came to us over a week ago to hire us. She knew you would want to come back to college sooner rather than later and was trying to make plans for that. It’s taken that long to sort out a plan and study your case, so we’d know exactly what you’d need for security.”

  For the moment, that seemed to shut her down, and I needed a moment to get hold of both my temper and my bearings. “Is it okay if I take a walk around the apartment to familiarize myself with the full layout? I’ve studied the floor plans, but nothing compares to being here in person.”

  She blew out a breath, and I could see her physically fighting the urge to argue with me more. Finally, she seemed to come to a decision, and her shoulders sank in defeat. “Yeah.” She shrugged negligently. “That’s fine.”

  I walked away from her and took my first deep breath since I entered into the building. I had no idea what this case might have in store for me and my bodyguard skills, but I had a feeling it would be Elle herself who would keep me on my toes. Not only was she stubborn and smart, but she was beautiful. I was way too aware of her as a woman, when I should only be seeing her as my client.

  My client that I needed to keep alive.

  Chapter Three

  Elle

  I couldn’t believe the nerve of my mother. ViviAnna had always been a force unto herself, but I’d learned how to stay out of her orbit. That damn kidnapper had screwed everything up. I had known better than to go home for that show. I hadn’t wanted to, but my best friend, Trace, had convinced me that I needed to make amends with ViviAnna, and that would be a good first step.

  Now, I had a strange man wandering through my apartment, looking at god knew what, because he probably had plans to write some sort of tell-all exposé on my mom and me. On top of that awful possibility, he expected to live here.

  Oh, god.

  I folded over, putting my hands on my knees and tried to get air to my lungs that had suddenly seized up. Until three weeks ago, I’d had control of my own life, my ability to breathe freely. Now, that was all gone—my privacy, my security, and my sanity.

  Spots began to encroach on my vision. I couldn’t breathe. Fuck, shit, damn. I closed my eyes, trying to get my lungs to do the one thing they’d managed to do since birth—relax and inhale. But the harder I thought about it, the tighter my chest became.

  Panic flared to life. I was going to die. I hated this.

  But then I felt a hand rubbing gently over my back. “I want you to listen to me, and do exactly what I say, no matter how difficult. Listen and breathe with me. Inhale in.”

  His voice was low, gravelly, and had a slight twang to it that said he’d probably grown up in Texas. It was a good, masculine voice, and I tried to focus on it and not the panic.

  I tried, but there was nothing there to inhale. It was like someone had sucked all the oxygen out of the atmosphere.

  “And exhale. Do it again. Inhale in, hold it, and exhale.”

  That time, it felt like maybe a little air made it into my passageway.

  “Inhale. That’s right, Illumination.”

  I glared up at him even when the br
eaths were becoming easier.

  He gloated, victory shining out of those bright blue, gorgeous eyes of his. “You want to yell at me about it. Get those lungs to relax. You’re getting there. Inhale again, hold it, and exhale.”

  After about five more breathing exercises, I could actually almost take a full, deep breath. I tried to ignore the fact that I was a shaky, snotty, teary mess after the panic attack.

  But I was still bent over the counter, sweaty and pale when a key fitted into the lock on my door.

  Oh, no. Trace was here.

  I had no idea how Jonah and I looked when Trace walked in, but it must not have been good. Trace yelled, dropped his bag, and tore across the width of the kitchen. “Get your hands off her!”

  I tried to scream to Trace that it was okay, but I didn’t have enough air to do that yet.

  Trace pulled back his arm and tried to cold-cock Jonah.

  But Jonah hadn’t been exaggerating about his hand-to-hand combat skills. He easily blocked the blow, his toned muscles flexing with the precise movement of his arms, and leveled one of his own. Before I could do much more than shriek, Jonah executed a couple of complex fighting maneuvers and had Trace flat on his face in the middle of my kitchen floor, his arms pinned behind him.

  It took me a moment to come back to myself. I’d guessed Jonah was around five foot-ten or eleven, and he appeared wiry, not muscular. Totally unlike Trace. No one ever messed with me when I was around Trace.

  At six foot-three with a muscle-packed frame, Trace was daunting. Add in the fact that he wore hoodies even in summer with the hood up to hide his striking features—dark smooth skin, startlingly bright green eyes, and high cheekbones that made him one of the most on demand models in the country—most didn’t dare cross him.

  But not only had Jonah crossed him, he had Trace completely under control on my floor, and was...wait a minute. Where had the zip ties come from?

  “Elle,” Jonah called to me, using my preferred name for the first time. I wanted to dwell on how rich it sounded coming from him with that deep sultry drawl, but he was manhandling my struggling best friend.

  “Call down to security and have them call the cops,” he instructed.

  “No. Wait.” I rushed over to him and grabbed hold of his bicep, astounded at just how big and hard it felt under my hand. “He’s my friend. Stop. He’s not a bad guy.”

  He’s not a bad guy? Oh god, talk about a cheesy line. When had my life become some sort of campy, made-for-TV movie.

  Jonah froze. “You know him?”

  “Yes, his name is Trace Andrews. He’s my best friend. That’s why he had a key and let himself in. I was expecting him.”

  “Yeah,” Trace growled. “Get off me, asshole.”

  Jonah still didn’t move. “There wasn’t a Trace Andrews on my dossier.” He glowered at me like it was my fault that he didn’t know every single detail of my life.

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “And how is that my fault? I didn’t ask for you to be here or to butt into my life or to have a freaking dossier about it.” Oh my god. What kind of things were in that file?

  Jonah’s eyes flashed with irritation. Why the hell did that make him look more like a dominant, alpha male and way too sexy for my peace of mind? Damn.

  “Getting old here,” Trace said from the floor as he tried to dislodge Jonah off his back.

  Jonah held on for a minute more. He released the zip ties he’d had on Trace’s arms, jumping off him in one fluid move that looked more like something a predatory cat would do than a flesh-and-bone man.

  Trace burst off the floor and dusted himself off dramatically, all the while staring daggers of hate at Jonah. “Who the hell is this clown, Elle?”

  “Trace Andrews meet Jonah...” I turned to question Jonah. “I probably was told, but I don’t remember. What’s your last name?”

  “Sutton. Jonah Sutton.” He raised a challenging eyebrow at Trace and then blurted out, “I’m Elle’s new live-in boyfriend.”

  “The fuck? Elle, what the hell is going on here? Who is this idiot?”

  Trace gave Jonah exactly the reaction Jonah appeared to be trying to get.

  Jonah winked at me and made sure I knew he was coming in. I appreciated the subtle warning before he wrapped his arm around me and tugged me against his hard chest. I’d looked like a fool enough this afternoon by jumping at nothing. I needed to stand strong.

  But, damn, he smelled good...spicy, mint, and male musk.

  “I’m the love of Illumination’s life, of course.”

  The name brought me back to my senses. I elbowed him hard in the ribs and got a good dose of satisfaction at hearing the wind gust out of his lungs. “It’s Elle,” I corrected him...again...and ducked out from under his arm to turn to glare at him.

  He just laughed. It drove me nuts that he thought this was a joke. There was no way I could live with this jackass.

  “I want you out.” I pointed my finger at the front door of the apartment.

  “Aww, Illumination, don’t be like that. Is this our first fight? Does that mean we get to have makeup sex?”

  My stomach tightened at the mention of sex, and I felt my brows rise before I dropped my eyes to his lips, suddenly wondering what they’d feel like against mine... I wanted them against my lips, my skin, and the inside of my thighs where that dark scruff that he sported would scrape against my sensitive skin...

  Oh, hell. Just the idea had my panties wet.

  Wait...what was I doing?

  My gaze flew to his. He hadn’t missed my distraction and seemed to know exactly where my thoughts had gone.

  His eyes had darkened with predatory intent. I took a single step back.

  Trace clearing his throat brought me back to our audience, who watched us with rapt fascination. He shook his head. “Oh, girl, don’t let me interrupt. This is very fascinating. But if you two combust any further, I may have to take care of my needs over here in the corner, so just ignore any deep groans from my side of the room.”

  “Trace!”

  “But I figure you’ll be doing your own moaning,” he mused with a small nod. “So, I doubt you’ll notice me at all.” He waved his hands at us. “Go ahead. Get back to it. I think you were about to start humping one another.”

  Jonah sputtered...coughed...laughed. It was hard to tell exactly what that sound was, but his face had turned a bright shade of red. He crossed his arms over his chest and tried to appear bigger, stronger...like he needed to do something more macho to cover his embarrassment.

  “I need to go gather my gear and do some recon with building security.” Jonah focused his gaze on Trace. “Are you okay to stay with her until I get back?”

  Trace looked a little flabbergasted as he nodded, sending me a look of confusion.

  I just rolled my eyes.

  “Okay.” He turned to me. “You’re not to leave this apartment. I’ll be back in the next hour. If there’s a problem...” He dug into his pocket and pulled out a business card. “You can call me on that number. I’ll just be downstairs and can be here in less than a minute. In fact, you should put that number into your cell phone right now, so you can get hold of me at any time you need me. Do it.”

  Then he strode out of my apartment like I was a trained monkey just here to do his bidding.

  Asshole.

  I crumpled up the business card and tossed it into my trashcan.

  Trace’s mouth actually dropped open as he watched me, but his astonishment didn’t last long. He pounced almost before the door clicked shut. “Girlfriend, who is Mr. Dark and Sexy? O.M. G. He is one sexy motherfucker. If he hadn’t been setting your panties on fire, I would be asking if you thought he could be turned to the gay side.”

  I snorted. Trace always did know how to put it as bluntly as possible.

  I blew out a sigh. “Don’t get too excited. He’s here on behalf of the enemy. He’s one of ViviAnna’s boy-toys. He’s pretty, but we can’t forget what that means.”

>   Trace knew better than most exactly what that meant, since once upon a time, he’d been one of those boys—eighteen and terrified of the almighty power that ViviAnna wielded. He shuddered.

  “Exactly,” I agreed.

  Now Trace was all seriousness, his mouth in a thin line. “So, who is he? Is he here to spy for your mother?”

  I could also hear his unspoken worries. We’d worked hard over the last six years to not let VA know about his existence in my life. He didn’t want to be on her radar, and if she knew about him, there was no doubt in my mind that she’d try to turn him against me. My friendship with Trace was too important to let VA’s influence impinge upon it. I didn’t know how I’d survive without him. “Honestly, I don’t know. She said he was here to be my bodyguard. I’d been doubting the validity of that until he took you down without hardly lifting a pinkie.”

  “Hey!” Trace said with offended outrage. “I was distracted, because I thought you were hurt.” He tilted his head. “So, what did I walk in on?”

  I blew out a sigh and tried to keep the tension from crawling back across my shoulders that had loosened while verbally sparring with Jonah. “I had a panic attack.”

  “Oh, baby doll.” He opened his arms to me, and I sprung into his strong, soothing embrace. “You’ve been through such a horrific ordeal. I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there with you.”

  Him not being by my side had been the worst thing about the last three weeks, even worse than having to live in the immediate sphere of ViviAnna. I’d needed him, but I refused to let her hurt him. So I’d lived without this...the comfort he could give me, making me feel safe in the world where I was ViviAnna’s only precious child. Blergh.

  Eventually, I pulled away and swiped under my eyes. “Thank you. I needed that more than you can imagine.”

  Trace frowned and brushed a thumb under my eye. “You’re not sleeping, are you?”