Secret Love (The 4Ever Series Book 2)

by Isabella White

  “Love you, Mommy. Be good.”

  Holly snorted. “You be good, and no ice cream after eight.”

  “What we do is none of your business,” Jane butted in.

  Jamie giggled. “Yes, it’s our little secret, Nanna.”

  Jane covered Jamie’s mouth playfully, making everyone laugh.

  “I’ll know.” Holly climbed into the car, closed the door, and rolled the window down.

  “Love you, Mommy.”

  “Love you more.”

  “Love you more than more,” Rodney said, picking Jamie up. “I’ll see you on your birthday, okay?”

  “Promise?” she asked.

  “I’ll try my damn best.”

  “Rodney!” both Holly and Jane yelled.

  “Oops! Sorry.” He glared at Holly. “I’ll try my damn best,” he whispered in Jamie’s ear, but it was loud enough for Holly to hear.

  She merely shook her head.

  “Big kiss, and a biiiiig hug.” He made a grunting sound. Jamie flung her arms around his neck, squeezing tightly.

  Jane winked at Holly.

  Holly winked back. “Love you,” she mouthed.

  “Love you more,” her mother answered softly.

  Rodney put Jamie down and got into the driver’s seat.

  “Drive safe, and don’t forget to call me the second you get there.”

  “We will,” Holly promised.

  “Last touch.” Jamie snapped her hand out, grazing Holly’s elbow just before the car pulled slowly away.

  Holly tried to touch her back, but Jamie had squirmed away, giggling loudly.

  “I love you, Jamie!” Holly shouted, halfway down the road.

  “Love you more, Mommy.”

  Holly watched her little girl until Rodney turned a corner. When the coast was clear, she finally broke down and bawled her eyes out.

  THE DRIVE BACK TO BOSTON WAS A LONG one. Four days to be exact, but Rodney and Holly took turns driving, trying to cut the time down to three days. She tried to sleep but her stomach twisted into knots every time she thought about who’d she’d left behind in Boston.

  Forgetting Jake Peters was impossible. She lived with his mini-me and every time she looked at Jamie, his eyes and his face in the photo of him as a four-year-old boy stared back at her. He was in every little detail that made her daughter who she was. No one could say that Jake Peters wasn’t her father. She dreaded the day Rodney put two and two together, because the day he found out that the man he idolized was the same man who had left Jamie and Romalia four years ago… it would seriously be her last. He would never forgive her for lying to him.

  She thought back over the past four years. The first year of Jamie Bernice’s life was just a ball of worries. Not that it had gotten better, but that first year had been the hardest. Jamie used to get asthma attacks because her little lungs weren’t strong. Dr. Frank Edwards, Jamie’s pediatrician, was the absolute best. He was more like a second grandfather and had taken Gus’s place. Jane had even dated him for a year, but it was because of her mistrust in men that she had broken it off. To her mother, Frank was just too good to be true.

  Frank would often stare at Jamie from time to time, scrunching his eyebrows in thought.

  Holly worried and always wondered if Frank had known the Peters family, but she never asked him, fearing he had and the outcome would be a huge nightmare. So, she kept her doubts to herself. Not even her mother knew her thoughts regarding Frank, but Jane knew never to tell anyone the identity of Jamie’s father. It would just lead to too many damn questions. Questions she wasn’t ready to answer.

  Her thoughts turned to her father again. Their relationship had improved, yet at times, all she wanted was to continue being upset with him for what he’d done to her and her twin when they were younger. But she couldn’t. He’d been there when she’d needed him the most, when no one else was. He’d taken care of her when she didn’t know if she was going to live to see another day. He’d paid for everything. He’d shown his support then. But once he found out she wanted to become a doctor, he was livid.

  He had no interest in her reasons for wanting to follow that path, and he refused to listen once she tried to explain. In his mind, Holly was doing it for one thing and for one thing only: so she would one day cross paths with his granddaughter’s father again. He still had no idea of Jake’s true identity, but he’d had his suspicions when his face was plastered on the front cover of a medical magazine. Jake had received an award for removing a life-threatening tumor, using a technique he and Dr. Huyo had developed.

  Why Rodney hadn’t picked up on it yet was beyond her knowledge, probably because she’d told him that Jamie’s father was named Steve. Such a stupid lie, but Rodney always believed her, no matter what.

  She’d met Rodney in medical school and they’d clicked from day one. He’d gotten drunk with Holly on all her ladies’ nights, which they always ended up spending together. He was her best friend. She missed her former best friend, Bernice, a lot. Even though Rodney was present in more ways than one, Bernice was the one she needed when life became too much—she understood motherhood, and she understood Holly. Holly couldn’t bring herself to reach out to her and hadn’t done so in four years. She couldn’t. Not if she wanted to keep her little girl safe. Although, knowing Bernie, she probably would’ve helped her keep her much-guarded secret. But it wouldn’t have been fair to ask Leo, Bernie’s husband, to do the same. Leo and Jake were just as close as Holly and Bernice, and one of them had needed to make the choice. It fell on Holly to break the tie that bound them all together.

  Her thoughts jumped to her mother. When her father’s generous pockets had closed the day she decided to go to medical school, she had been doing it the hard way—studying like crazy to get good grades that could potentially lead to a scholarship. She’d gotten one in her second year, but during her first year, she’d had to borrow money and work to survive. Her mother was a huge help, a pillar for Holly to lean on.

  Jane had taken on a nursing job at Seattle Memorial, and had worked her way up to becoming one of the head nurses. The pay was better and the hours fewer, which meant Holly could take on a couple of extra shifts. She’d hated every moment of it, as it was time away from her daughter.

  Jamie’s first birthday was the hardest. Holly couldn’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like if Romy had made it. She’d imagine everything in twos, and it’d gotten the better of her. She’d cried for a good solid night, missing her little girl something awful. Nine days after, the day that marked Romy’s death, was ten times worse.

  Holly had thought that maybe, with all the crying she’d done, the following year would be easier, but it wasn’t. Something about their birthday and the anniversary of her death made it harder to cope with.

  She snapped out of her reverie when Rodney, who could no longer keep his eyes open, stopped at a gas station to refuel. While there, they got some food into their systems then hit the road again.

  Holly drove until the sun came up, and then Rodney took over again. They stopped at a Motel 6 for some much-needed sleep, and then they hit the road again early the next morning for the last stretch to Boston. They were both dead tired, but Holly made a quick phone call to speak to her mother and Jamie. By the time she decided on a shower, Rod began to snore.

  A smile spread over her face when she emerged from the bathroom, towel drying her hair. Rodney’s mouth was wide open, and drool dripped from his lip.

  Shaking her head, she crawled into her own bed and switched off the lights. She was exhausted, but her mind was wide awake. She didn’t normally take medication to help her sleep, but lately it seemed to be the only way she could get some shuteye. There was always something to worry about.

  A horrible ache filled her heart. Holly swallowed hard. She missed Jamie. To say she worried about her was an understatement. She constantly second-guessed herself about the choice to move to Boston for a year to complete her internship at Downsend. And although Ro
d kept telling her that it was the best move she could have made, Holly wasn’t so sure.

  She sighed. It was funny how everything had worked out. She’d started out wanting to help women going through what she’d experienced. She’d wanted to become a gynecologist, like Jake’s father. But a year later, Gus Peters had discovered a booster that eliminated all the symptoms she had suffered from while pregnant. It was different from the shake, which was what she’d been on at the time, yet she still wondered what had been wrong with it. Why had he pulled it off the market back then?

  What the booster did, however, was lower a pregnant woman’s blood pressure instantly, slowing down the process of preeclampsia. The drug was a medical miracle, since the exact causes of preeclampsia weren’t known.

  It was no wonder that after that breakthrough, Holly didn’t feel needed in the gynecological department anymore. But she found a new passion—cardiology.

  Both she and Rodney volunteered at a free clinic in downtown Seattle, where Dr. Somers had taken Holly on and tutored her in the art of cardiac surgery. Soon, though, age caught up with Dr. Somers. He had developed Parkinson’s disease, which was terribly sad. Holly had helped him with so many procedures that she was sure she would be able to save a heart when the time came for her to do it alone.

  She loved everything about hearts—the way they worked, the reasons they stopped working, how she could fix them, and the most amazing part, how gifted she was with hearts. She could force them to start beating again when they didn’t want to beat anymore. All because of one man.

  Dr. Somers was old, but one could still do a Google search. He ranked among the best cardiovascular surgeons the world had ever seen. He’d started training under the watchful eye of the legendary Dr. Chris Barnard, and he had learned everything from him. Holly was honored that he had taken her in, showing her procedures that one only learns through time.

  Dr. Somers started a free clinic in Seattle when he was forced to retire due to his Parkinson’s; it was the only way he could carry on doing what he loved the most. He was in his eighties, the sweetest old man Holly had ever met. She owed a lot to Dr. Somers. Even though she hadn’t been close to surgical level when she’d trained under him, he showed her how to do an open-chest cardiac massage by hand without the help of defibrillation paddles. He’d formulated a technique that no doctor would ever attempt to perform. Essentially, if there was a huge amount of blood being lost and not enough time for a transfusion, the patient’s own blood would be pumped back into the body. Massaging the heart by hand would allow the blood to flow through it and thus keep the heart pumping. Few people knew how to do the technique, and Holly was one of the lucky ones he’d chosen to impart his wisdom to.

  As she reflected on her past, sleep finally consumed her, but the horrible dream about Mara telling her to go and get an abortion surfaced. And it was always followed by Jake spitting in her face, with his sister, Amelia, standing behind him, not uttering one single word in her defense. This was when she’d wake up. The last two events never happened, but her mind kept envisioning it would’ve probably gone that way if she’d stayed. She’d imagined it over and over until it infected her dreams.

  Opening one eye, she looked at the digital clock on the nightstand—it read 5:00 a.m. She was thankful she managed to get a few hours of sleep. She rubbed her face, hard, and then remembered her dream. She hadn’t had it for the longest time, but it had recently reared its ugly head once more, right after they’d learned that the only hospitals with open spots were P&E and Downsend.

  Jumping out of bed, she woke Rod. As it was imperative they get on the road as soon as possible, they grabbed a quick breakfast from McDonald’s and started the last leg of their journey.

  As Rod drove, Holly’s thoughts turned to Jake again. She was dreading every minute she was going to spend being so close to Jake and the rest of his wretched family. It went without saying that she could never trust him again—she would never trust him again. What she should’ve done was run her legs off the first time she saw him. She should’ve known that he would end up being ten times worse than Brandon. She should’ve remembered that the devil was God’s most beautiful angel. She should’ve known… then again, she wouldn’t have Jamie if she had known. Her life would’ve been empty and for that, she would always be grateful that she’d met Jake.

  Smiling, she thought back to the day Bernice had teased her about what her and Jake’s kid would look like, and she’d been right. Sadly, Jamie couldn’t participate in those baby beauty competitions mothers loved, for fear that Jake would see her and know Holly hadn’t done as he’d asked. Jamie would be taken from her, of that she had no doubt. And no way in hell was she prepared to let her daughter go. She didn’t have the money to fight Jake, anyway. And come to think of it, she didn’t even think her father had enough money to fight the Peterses.

  Hearing Rod say her name, she snapped to attention, not wanting him to question where her thoughts had been. Smiling, she asked, “Is this it?”

  “Sure is. Home sweet home.” He grinned.

  They’d arrived at an old fire station that had been renovated into an apartment complex. Rodney’s father had scored it for next to nothing, saying it was so huge he could even rent a couple of rooms out to other interns. The rent was minimal, which would allow Holly to save something to pay off some of her debts. And hopefully, she’d have a bit of extra money left to pay for ballet lessons for Jamie. Jamie loved ballet, but there was never enough cash. Holly knew if she asked her father to pay for his granddaughter to take up ballet… it would just be another thing he would throw back in her face one day.

  It angered her to think that the Peterses had all the money in the world, but she was forced to tell a little girl no for most of the things she wanted. It broke her heart. But the day would come—one day Jake would find out about Jamie, and by then it would be too late. Jamie would know the truth, and Jake would finally learn that money couldn’t buy everything.

  The fire station was spacious. One of the rooms had a view of the ocean. Jamie would’ve loved it here, but bringing her along was out of the question. It was too risky.

  There were five bedrooms, all of them with closets. Two of the bedrooms had bathrooms. Holly took the one Rodney didn’t want. An ample kitchen was situated in the middle of the apartment. There was a big area around the kitchen that they could use as a lounge and a small dining room, or a second living room.

  “So what do you think?”

  “It’s perfect.” Holly smiled. “I wish Jamie was here.”

  “Me, too.” Rodney wrapped his one arm around her, pulling her closer to his chest. “She would’ve had a ball twirling on these wooden floors.”

  Holly giggled. Yes, she most certainly would have, as the floor was made up of soft, worn wooden planks. She sighed deeply. “Should I go and get some food?”

  “I’ll come with you. We need loads of stuff,” he replied, grabbing the car keys and his wallet. “Besides, we need to stop at the printers. I want to draw up an ad for the extra rooms and pin it up at the hospital. Maybe we can make a few extra bucks renting out the other three rooms.”

  “I had a funny feeling you were going to do that.”

  “You don’t mind, do you?”

  “Nope, it’s just going to be different having roommates again.”

  “It’s only for a year, Holls.”

  “You don’t have to come back with me. P&E is a good place for you, Rod.”

  “Then why won’t you be there with me?”

  “I told you, one can’t thrive when dealing with doctors that keep on inventing shit.”

  He laughed. “You can learn a shitload from those doctors.”

  “I had Dr. Somers.”

  “The guy was an old fart, Holly. He did everything old-school. Technology has taken over.”

  “Technology isn’t going to make you a better, more caring doctor, Rodney. He taught me that.” She smiled. “And one day when technology crashes, everyon
e will come to me to teach them the old ways.”

  Rodney just gazed at her, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Whatever.”

  Holly bumped into him playfully on the way out of the apartment, then ran down the stairs.

  Tomorrow was going to be their first day at work respectively. She couldn’t wait for her internship to finally start.

  Slowly opening her eyes the next morning, her digital clock practically yelled that it was five. She shot up, heart pounding. Late! How could she have overslept? Jumping out of bed, she hightailed to Rodney’s room, adrenaline pumping, and banged on his door, twice. “It’s five. Wake up!”

  She heard his feet hit the floor. Running back to her room, she got in the shower, then gulped for air as cold water splashed onto her back. They still hadn’t switched on the electricity in the basement, which meant that the water heater wasn’t working; therefore it was cold water for the next couple of days until one of them could find the time to sort out the electricity.

  At a quarter to six, Rodney stopped his car right in front of Downsend. Nervously, Holly blew him a kiss, then watched him leave.

  She looked up at the entrance of Downsend. Day one of her internship. She sighed. One more day keeping her from Jamie, and the sad part was that there were still shitloads more to go.

  Rolling her shoulders to ease the tension, she ran up the stairs two at a time. It wasn’t P&E, but it was just as big, and Downsend resembled a hospital—not a hotel.

  Slowing down, she got her breathing under control and strolled through the doors that opened as she approached. She continued on toward reception. Holly had done the first eight weeks of her internship in Seattle, right before the hospital lost the status of a teaching hospital. She had needed to apply that much quicker than other interns.

  A blond girl about her age, with a beautiful smile and equally beautiful hair, looked up. “Welcome to Downsend. How may I assist you?”