Secret Love (The 4Ever Series Book 2)

by Isabella White

  Holly envied this man’s wife. She hoped that the woman knew how lucky she was and prayed that she would be okay.

  The one thing Holly learned right from the beginning when she decided to become a doctor was that a good doctor should always remember who the opponent was when going into surgery. If He decided that that was it, nothing would save a patient. It was impossible to fight a higher power—the reason she always prayed before entering surgery. She truly believed that her faith was why some of the patients she’d assisted had made it.

  For the remainder of the week, Holly looked in on the little girl as often as she could. She’d woken up the very next morning, which was amazing all on its own; children recovered quicker. Her mother, sadly, had gone into a coma.

  Holly would tell the little girl—Candy—stories when her father wasn’t around, but had the grace to step out when he’d return.

  By the fifth day, the munchkin’s face would light up as soon as Holly entered her room. Grinning like the Cheshire cat, Holly would take her vitals and make small talk, half the time giggling at something funny. When Dr. Matthews walked in, she plopped a set of bunny ears on Holly’s head.

  “You look funny,” Candy said.

  “I’m apparently a bunny.” Holly scrunched up her nose, which made Candy laugh.

  “Good news, Candice. Your dad can take you home and your mom has just woken up. Isn’t that just the best news?”

  “She has? She’s not going to heaven!” the little girl yelled with excitement, just as her father walked in, his eyes red-rimmed. Bending over the bed, he hugged his daughter. This simple action of affection clogged up Holly’s throat. She couldn’t watch. There were a lot of things she could handle, but when it came to fathers actually being fathers, it was hard.

  She waved and left, leaving Dr. Matthews to talk to the girl’s father. Upon reaching the children’s ward’s reception, she noticed Aggie with a huge smile on her face.

  “Congratulations!” Aggie squealed.

  “For what?” Holly asked.

  “You got bunny ears, which means she’s going to have the talk with you soon.”

  “Oh, ha ha. They’re cute. What talk, though?” She knew Aggie, who now worked in the children’s ward, was speaking about Dr. Matthews, or Teresse, as she’d asked Holly to call her on numerous occasions.

  She jumped as Dr. Matthews slapped a file onto the counter, which had all three women laughing.

  “You okay?” Teresse asked. Holly nodded. “Do me a favor, will you? Make sure all the release forms are filled in properly. She’s good to go.”

  “Sure.” Holly smiled.

  “You should really think of changing your profession to pediatrics. Just give it a try. You were wonderful with her this past week.”

  Holly looked back toward Candice’s room. “It wasn’t that hard. She’s cute.”

  “Still, not everyone has what it takes to connect with them.”

  She smiled and watched Dr. Matthews leave.

  “That is the talk?” She looked up at Aggie.

  The old nurse laughed. “She is not going to give you a chance to decline. She’s right, though; you are really good with kids. Which is extremely important on this ward, Holly. You should consider it.”

  Holly smiled. “So… what, it’s bunny ears every day?”

  “No, sometimes it’s cat ears, other times it mouse ears, dog ears, bee antennae. You get the idea.”

  Holly laughed.

  Pediatrics was better than the ER. Still, with the ER, she might get a heart surgery with the other surgeon.

  It was something to think about, though.

  She handed the release form to Candice’s father, then helped him get her down to her mother’s room. Candy was elated to see her mother. Holly had tears in her eyes as she watched the woman kiss her little girl. After the father had thanked her for what seemed like the millionth time, Holly smiled and went back to the ER.

  A FEW DAYS LATER, HOLLY GOT another heart surgery with Dr. Jacobs. As they scrubbed in, she couldn’t help but feel like she was in seventh heaven. It had been a while since her last heart surgery. Just then, both Dr. Embers and Tanya walked in.

  “It’s okay, we will take it from here,” he announced, a deceitful grin evident on his face. Arrogantly, he started scrubbing his hands. Tanya, bitch that she was, pushed Holly out of the way so she could get to the faucet and detergent.

  “Like hell you will. That is my patient!” boomed Dr. Jacobs, his eyes shooting daggers at Embers’s back.

  “She is not your patient. You don’t have patients. Furthermore, every ER patient is technically mine. I’m head of this department. So, thank you for your services.” He gave Holly a scathing look, then continued into the OR. She could tell Tanya was gloating behind her mask.

  Dr. Jacobs was livid. “He’s never done that to me before. What the hell is going on with him?”

  “Is he allowed to do this?” Holly asked.

  “Sweetheart, he just did,” she said, storming off.

  And with that, Embers had mapped out exactly how it would go for Holly from there on. He would do everything in his power to prevent her from getting into surgery. Sighing, she shook her head. Decision made. She was going to take Dr. Matthews’ offer and try pediatrics for a while, see how that played out.

  Finished for the day, she went home and phoned her mother. They ended up speaking for a long time. She’d called her every night—well, almost every night—around ten-thirty to wish Jamie a good night and sweet dreams. It was so good to hear her voice. She missed her something awful. Just two and a half more months until Holly saw her for her birthday.

  “I think it’s a good idea to try out pediatrics, baby. If it’s going to make your life there better, screw cardiology for now. Take Dr. Matthews up on her offer,” her mother said.

  “I think so, too.”

  “That bastard hasn’t tried anything else yet, has he?”

  “No. Then again, I make sure I’m not close to him.”

  Her mother was quiet for a while. Holly knew what was about to follow; her mother asked her the same thing at least three times a week.

  “Have you seen him yet?”

  “No, Mom. I told you before, you will be the first to know if I do. Promise.”

  “Okay, baby. Take care, and I’m so sorry you are going through hell. I’ve asked around about this Embers guy; he’s clean and everyone loves him, so he’s good at hiding his tracks. Scumbag in disguise, if you ask me.”

  Giggling, she said, “Yeah, us Scallanger girls know how to pick them, right?”

  “You didn’t pick him, sweetheart.”

  “True. But you know what I mean.”

  “I do, but we also know how to deal with them. Take care, baby.”

  “Love you, Mom.”

  “Love you more,” Jane replied, then hung up.

  It was funny how her mother ended with the exact same thing she said to Jamie. Love you more.

  She knew her mother loved her very much. She’d felt the same love the minute she touched her babies. It was unexplainable, a love that only a mother could feel. It was unconditional.

  ********

  The following day, she went in search of Dr. Matthews and found her chatting with Aggie, who was manning reception in the children’s ward.

  “Good morning, ladies,” she greeted. Smiling at Dr. Matthews, she asked, “Is that offer still on the table?”

  Dr. Matthews grinned. “Of course, it is. Are you sure this is what you want?”

  “I’m willing to try it out.”

  “Okay, Aggs, get her a pair of cat ears,” Dr. Matthews ordered. “Accompany me, Holly, so I can introduce you to our patients.”

  Holly met each and every little person, from a couple of days old up to the age of sixteen.

  Tyler was a sixteen-year-old boy. He had a tumor, and Dr. Green—or Ollie, as he had insisted Holly call him from now on—was speaking to him and his parents. They had tried almost everything, o
r so Teresse told her, but there was one more thing Dr. Green wanted to try: a procedure that would hopefully shrink the tumor to a manageable size, one that he would be comfortable cutting into.

  His parents were nodding and looked hopeful.

  “Hello,” Dr. Matthews greeted. “And how does my favorite patient feel today?”

  “Okay, I guess. I’ve had better days, but from what it sounds like, I’m going to be puking my lungs out for… how many months again, doc?” Tyler joked.

  He was a handsome kid, but his illness dulled his appearance. He was extremely sick, and it showed. She felt so sorry for him.

  “Hey, I’ll give you a lollipop for your bravery,” Matthews joked.

  “Yay, me.”

  Everyone laughed at his snarkiness.

  “So, there’s a final plan?” Dr. Matthews looked at all of them.

  “If Tyler is up to it. It’s aggressive, no doubt about that, but I’m positive it will work,” Ollie said.

  “That’s all we want, Dr. Green.” Tyler’s mom smiled gratefully.

  “Then it’s what you’ll get,” Ollie assured her. “See you later, my man.”

  Holly rolled her eyes, which had Tyler laughing.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that,” she apologized.

  “It’s that ‘later, my man,’ comment, isn’t it?” Tyler asked.

  “So lame,” she replied, drawing laughs from everyone.

  “I’m Holly.” She held her hand out.

  “What, not a doctor?” Tyler asked. She could swear he was flirting with her.

  “Well, I don’t expect you guys to call me doctor.”

  “I can pronounce the word, you know. This thing in my head has actually made me super smart over the past couple of months.”

  “Oh, shush, Ty,” his mother reprimanded, but not in a stern manner.

  “Well, at least you guys are able to joke about this, and that is the most important thing. See you later, my man,” Dr. Matthews joked. Holly couldn’t suppress her laughter.

  She liked Ty. He didn’t deserve to die so young.

  Out in the passage, Holly couldn’t help but ask, “Why doesn’t Ollie operate?”

  “It’s really big. Ninety-nine percent of neurologists won’t operate.”

  “Why don’t they ask for one who will?” She was, of course, referring to Jake. Even though she really didn’t want to run into him, this kid’s life was more important than her rejection.

  “Would you?”

  “I would, if my child’s life depended on it.”

  “Do you know of anyone, except Jake Peters?”

  “They don’t want him?”

  “It’s not that at all. They can’t get a consultation with him. Believe me, we’ve all tried. He doesn’t have the time to see him. But I know if he saw this tumor, he would take on Ty’s case.”

  “That sucks.” Anger filled her. Why wouldn’t he make the time to save this kid’s life?

  Holly knew Teresse was right, though. From the stories that Rod told her every day about the types of tumors they worked on, Jake would not hesitate; rather, he’d grab this case with both hands. It was a shame that Ty had to go through hell because Ollie wasn’t that one percent willing to risk it.

  **********

  Ty was released the following day. His treatment was due to start, so there was no reason he couldn’t go home.

  Holly felt nervous for him. He was only sixteen and had hardly lived.

  For the next month, Holly met many kids who were brought in. They had a couple of rough surgeries, too, but she thanked the Lord that her prayers were still being answered. She’d rather have her first loss of a patient be an old guy, not a child.

  Only one month remained until Holly would see her own little bean again. She still needed to speak to Dr. Downsend about having the weekend off. Missing Jamie’s birthday was not an option. Hopefully, he wouldn’t ask her why she needed the time off. For all she knew, he was buddies with the Peters too.

  On Friday, Holly met one of Teresse’s regular patients.

  The girl was six, and the knitted hat on her head brought out her cuteness. Holly knew by the dark circles around her eyes that she was a cancer patient. She could smell a cancer patient a mile away thanks to her sister Jamie. She knew all the signs, had lived through them with her twin. Sometimes, she believed the saying ‘twins are connected in more ways than one’ was true—she would swear that at times she’d felt her sister’s pain.

  “Hello, Ellie. And how is my girl doing today?” Teresse had a friendly smile on her face.

  Her mother had tears in her eyes. “She is not doing that well. She’s been throwing up. I need to know.”

  Teresse touched her arm. “If it will put your heart at ease, Connie, I will do the tests again, but she’s been in remission for two months.”

  “Then why does it feel as if it’s back? She’s sick again.” Connie whispered.

  Ellie had a terrified look on her face. Holly had to distract her, somehow. This conversation should’ve taken place outside.

  “Hi, Ellie. I’m Holly. You must be the famous Ellie everyone is talking about.”

  The girl shied away.

  “How old are you?” She tried a different tactic.

  Ellie lifted one hand, showing five fingers.

  “That is big, wow!” Holly overexaggerated. It was unfair that children had to suffer from such a horrible disease. “Do you like my cat ears?”

  Ellie giggled this time. “They’re beautiful,” she said.

  “You like cats?”

  “Only the babies.”

  “I like the babies, too, because they love to play. But when they get older, they get all grumpy.” Holly pulled her face, drawing another laugh from Ellie.

  She heard Teresse wrap up her talk with Connie, and a few minutes later, Ellie was taken down for tests. It broke Holly’s heart that this little girl had to go through all the bloodwork again to find out if she was still in remission.

  For the last test, Ellie was required to lie extremely still. Silence permeated the air, until it was broken by Teresse’s grunt. By the way she slumped back in her chair, Holly knew it was bad. The cancer had returned.

  Looking at the scan, Holly saw it. Her sister’s scan had looked like her organs were decorated with snow. Ellie’s didn’t look that bad, yet, but it seemed to be heading that way.

  Teresse simply sat there. Deflated. Defeated.

  Holly was at a loss for words.

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” Teresse got up and kicked the metal bin at her feet. Pieces of scrunched up paper flew across the air and fell to the floor.

  Holly flinched. This was one of the reasons she hadn’t wanted to work in pediatrics. Patients were far too young to be saddled with this shit.

  Teresse sighed. “Best I go tell Connie.” She ordered the nurse back into the room to finish up with Ellie and take her back to her room.

  Holly needed a break. Her heart clenched at thought of having to be on the receiving end of the news. A sickness they’d thought Ellie had beaten was now back to haunt them. The battle to fight tooth and nail for her life was going to start all over again. She knew exactly what Connie was going through as a mom. It was so fucking excruciatingly hard to have to say goodbye to a child, knowing you would never get to hold her again or see her eyes light up with a smile. Knowing you’d miss out on all the firsts that still had to happen. She’d lost a lot of firsts with Romalia, but if Ellie didn’t win this battle, Connie would miss a lot of other firsts that Holly would get to experience with Jamie—first day of school, first sleepover, first boyfriend. A vise grip wrapped around Holly’s heart, and she had to stop to take a breath. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears away.

  She inhaled deeply and decided to go grab a quick lunch, but wanted to skip it when she saw Tanya sitting with her group of friends at a table. She must have just come out of surgery; she was still wearing her bandana. They laughed loudly and were rowdy. Holly almos
t turned right around, but when Rev lifted his hand to catch her eye, Holly grabbed a sandwich and joined him.

  “So, how is pediatrics?”

  “Horrible,” she said, but her tone didn’t make it sound that horrible. She told him about Ellie, and Rev listened.

  He shook his head. “It’s not fair.”

  “Tell me about it. I’ve never seen Matthews that upset until she saw the scan.”

  “You sure you’re cut out for this?”

  She gave him a look. “It’s the only way I’m going to get OR time, Rev.”

  “Still, it takes a special kind of person to work in pediatrics.”

  She snorted. “So… what, I’m not special enough?”

  He chuckled. “No, that’s not what I meant. They’re gentle, yet hard. You are all mush inside.”

  Holly was quiet for a beat. She remembered she had to go see Dr. Downsend. “I’ve got to go. Talk to you later.” She ran toward his office, which was located on the ground floor close to the main reception.

  Knocking twice, she waited until she heard him say “Enter.” At that precise moment, her eyes landed on Embers, who was glaring at her. A warning, she was sure.

  Straightening her shoulders, she went in and closed the door behind her.

  Dr. Downsend was African American, and had a warm smile. He always made her feel as if he had all the time in the world for his staff. “Dr. Scallanger, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

  “I need to ask a favor, please,” she said. He gestured to one of the chairs on the other side of his desk.

  Sitting down, Holly folded her hands on his desk.

  “What can I help you with?”

  “I need a weekend off. The 13th of November.”

  He looked at his calendar and made a note, drawing a huge circle around it. “All done.”

  Holly raised her eyebrow. “That’s it? No explanation of any sort?”

  Downsend started to laugh. “Holly, interns need a break, too. Contrary to popular belief, we are not demons. We are people. And you booked the weekend well in advance, which was really wise since I still need to draw up the schedule.”