“He’s a total scumbag. She didn’t want to tell us what happened, but she confirmed that much. I think he’s using his authority to get some nookie.”
“What!” Jake was livid.
“Calm down, she didn’t confirm it; it’s what I think. But whatever happened, she hasn’t reported it as she doesn’t want any trouble. I don’t understand girls like that, seriously. Tanya is working with him now.”
“Tanya would’ve said something a long time ago if he’d done something like that.”
“You think?” Kate had that worried-mother look on her face.
“She might be young, Kate, but I doubt she’d want a prune between her legs.” Jake remembered all too well what Tanya was like. Especially that one night he’d had to take her home after she’d gotten wasted at one of Kate’s parties. She’d been all over him and he’d had to force her off.
Kate giggled but soon sobered. “Still, it’s worrisome. I have to know. Could you please ask her? I know she looks up to you, and she’ll tell you the truth.”
Jake did not want to be alone with Tanya at all; he hated her fakeness. But he needed to know, too. “All right. I can’t ask her at the hospital with him around, though, so I’ll probably have to take her for a coffee. Is that okay with you?”
Kate smiled and kissed him on the lips. “I love you so much, and I trust you, and I trust my cousin. So it’s fine. Just find out the truth.”
He nodded once.
“But please don’t mention Haley’s name. She would know I said something and she begged me so nicely.”
Jake squinted. “You like her?”
“She’s fun to hang out with. A tad quiet in the beginning, but when she realized I didn’t have fangs, she loosened up. Don’t say anything, Jake, please. Do what you can to get that scumbag out of Downsend.”
Fuck. Jake blew out air. “Okay, party animal, my lips are sealed.” Bending down, he gave her a kiss, which led to something more. Heaven knew he needed a clear mind before tomorrow’s surgery, and although she wasn’t Holly and he would probably end up jacking off when she fell asleep, he needed a clear head.
He was fuming, though, over Kate’s news. He would kill Embers if ever found out the asshole had made a move on Holly.
HOLLY
Over the next two days, she couldn’t stop thinking about Kate. She felt utterly awful over what she’d done to her. Well, it was finally over. Jake was an asshole. She was disgusted not only with him but with herself, even though she had a daughter with him.
That must have been what the three months they’d spent together been; him shagging just another strawberry blonde. Fucking idiot.
She thought back to the married woman. Had she been a strawberry blonde, too? Was that where all his problems began, with her?
Holly’s phone beeped. When she retrieved it from her pocket, she saw the well-known number and sighed. She’d never even replied to his previous message, which simply read, I’m sorry. What did he want from her now?
She sighed and opened the new message, another long one, and read it reluctantly.
I know you said you can’t do this anymore, but I can’t do what you ask of me. I know I’m selfish, but I can’t help it. I’m addicted to you, Holly. I can’t function normally without you, so whatever you want, tell me, and I’ll make it happen. Just say it. You probably won’t believe this, but I never meant to make you feel cheap, and I feel like a dog about THAT. So please, think about it, because I really NEED YOU!!
She read the message again, made sure that it was Jake’s number twice, and read it one more time.
What the fuck? Where was this coming from? She wouldn’t allow him to mess her head like that again. Now that she’d met Kate, and seen what a wonderful person she was, she was completely done with affair.
No, she couldn’t do that to Kate and their son again. She deleted his message and put the phone back into her pocket. For the rest of the day her phone didn’t make a peep. But the following day, she received another message.
Please, Holly. Now is not a good time to ignore me. I’m trying to give you what you want, just tell me what it is. We can make this work, for both of us.
This time, she replied.
Jake, just stop with this, please. I can’t.
Her phone beeped within seconds.
What don’t you understand? I’M ADDICTED TO YOU!! There’s no stopping my addiction.
Holly couldn’t help but smile, imagining him starting to throw a tantrum like a little boy. It was sort of turning her on. The image of his body in her mind’s eye caused her stomach to dip with that treacherous feeling of lust. She took a deep breath. Fuck, she was so pathetic.
I fucking hate you.
Her phone beeped again.
Yeah, well, that makes two of us.
I told you about the things I didn’t like, Jake.
Why had she sent that? What was wrong with her? Kate did not deserve this.
Another message.
So, kiss on the mouth, speak over the phone, and what else? Or is that it?
Holly fumed.
You make it sound like a to-do list. I don’t like it.
Seriously woman, I’m tired, I’m cranky, and I’m really trying to negotiate terms here.
What, she mouthed, and then her blood began to boil. Not the slutty-getting-hot type of boil, the opposite. She wanted to kill Jake Peters.
Negotiate!! Go fuck yourself, Jake. I’m not work. Don’t message me again. Good luck with your fucking addiction.
She switched off her phone, took it to her locker, and chucked it into her bag. When she turned, Moira was standing there.
“Who pissed in your milk this morning?”
“A fucking jerk.”
“I should’ve known. Asshole. What did he do?”
“It doesn’t matter, it’s over.”
Moira slapped Holly on the arm. “Good for you.”
They left for another discussion on last week’s cases. Moira didn’t have to be there, so Holly was surprised when she took a chair next to her at the back where all the other interns sat. Tanya, it was apparent, didn’t like that one bit, but Moira merely rested her knees against the chair in front of her, rested her head against the back of the chair, then closed her eyes. Holly shook her head as the lectures began.
Once her shift was over, she went home. She spoke to Jamie at around nine, then went to bed. She’d ignored all the texts that had come through from the moment she’d turned on her phone, and now, alone in her bed, she finally decided to look at them. Five messages. All from Mr. Dickhead.
She started reading through them, one by one. They were short.
Seriously… go fuck myself? It’s not the same if you aren’t doing it. I didn’t mean it like that, but it’s another reason I need you because I am cranky and frustrated. That was number one.
Holly, don’t fucking ignore me, I hate this. Just speak to me. Number two.
Seriously? Number three.
Oh, my word. Jake sounded so insecure, which didn’t make any sense. That made her smile, but she hated herself for it.
Stop ignoring me! Number four.
DAMN IT, woman, please don’t do this. I’m begging you. What do you want?
That was the fifth one, his last message.
She had to admit, she loved the begging, especially since she hadn’t thought Jake was the begging kind at all. Still, she’d met Kate, and she liked her, so was not prepared wrong her. Not again.
She fell back onto her bed and thought everything. It wasn’t just Kate, it was Michael, too, and feeling like trash wasn’t going to stop, because she would end up hurting three innocent people in the end, in addition to herself. And Jamie was the last person on earth she wanted to hurt.
But another voice entered her thoughts. She’d always had a tendency to think about other people, and to put their feelings and desires first, and it was starting to irritate her. She’d done it with the scumbag she was addicted to when he hadn’t wa
nted their baby, which in the end had turned out to be two babies. That was why she’d left, to respect his needs.
And there were others. Her father was one, even though there had been numerous occasions when she should’ve told him to fuck off, he had been there for her when no one else had been. Rodney was another; and as amazing as he was, she’d held off telling him who Jamie’s father really was, mostly because he idolized Jake. And now Kate.
What about her little girl, who had to compromise on everything because of what all these fucking people wanted?
What about her?
She thought again about the Jake she’d loved. Even if that Jake wasn’t real, he could be. If she could just make him fall in love with her for real… If he were crazy in love with her, then maybe he would come home. And then she wouldn’t have to tell her little girl that her father never wanted her when she stopped believing in fairy tales.
As much as she disliked what she was going to do to Kate and Michael, she had to put Jamie first, for once in her miserable life. She was sure if Kate were in her shoes, Jake would’ve known a long time ago that he had a child with her, no matter who he was with. But… she had to make him fall in love with her before she dropped the Jamie bomb on him.
She looked at her phone again. It was midnight. Jake would more than likely be fast asleep, but she didn’t care.
She started typing her message.
If you treat me like anything less than a princess, it’s over.
After hitting send, she put her phone on the nightstand. She felt happy, she felt good, and she felt like she was wanted. And not wanted by just anyone—by Jake, the only man she’d ever loved. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and held it for a second, then let it out slowly. Her phone buzzed, and her eyes flew open.
Leaning over to grab her phone, she opened the message.
But I’m still going to fuck you like a whore. Goodnight, princess.
Her face flushed at the words on the screen, and a chuckle left her lips. She fell back onto her pillow, her phone next to her. Falling asleep took a while, even though she was dead tired. When she did fall asleep, she dreamed about when she’d been hospitalized, when her doctor had done everything to save her life and that of her babies. She heard the machine indicating a flatline just as she saw Jake running toward her. Then she exhaled her last breath. Holly woke up with a jolt. She hated the feeling of not being able to breathe.
Glancing at her phone, she saw that it was five in the morning. Sighing, she got out of bed, took a quick shower, and went to work. Her day started with rounds as she accompanied Moira and Embers, checking up on patients to make sure the nurses were doing their jobs and administering the necessary medications. Mr. Fumiar, one of their recent pacemaker implant patients, had recently stabilized.
She took Mr. Fumiar’s vitals and they were generally good. He wasn’t anywhere near to being released from the hospital yet, but he was making progress. After all the attention from the doctors, he was tired, so Holly let him go back to sleep.
Holly made coffee in the staff room and handed Moira the first cup.
“This is why I love her so much,” Moira said to Gale, a nurse working in the cardio ward’s reception area. Gale smiled.
“We all love Dr. Scallanger, especially her coffee. The folks from peds come and steal our coffee every other day.”
“At least they bring supplies,” Holly replied, coming to their defense. Grabbing the clipboard with the day’s surgeries, Holly waited for Moira to gulp down the last of her coffee then followed her out.
When they got around to checking on Mrs. Denali again, they were pleased to see she was stable. She was a sweet lady, although she sounded somewhat disappointed they’d saved her life. Holly wondered what her story was, and where her loved ones were; she hadn’t seen anyone visiting her.
Moira was very caring to all her patients, especially the older ones. After seeing Mrs. Denali, Moira and Holly went to the sixth floor to check up on another patient.
They walked in on a scene.
The patient was young, only twenty-eight years old. Desire was being led out of the room, trying to reassure him. “I understand how you feel, Mr. Swanson, but please, you need…”
Jake ducked as a cup filled with ice chips hit the wall. Both Moira and Holly stared at the patient, their eyes bulging out of their sockets.
“You need to calm down, honey,” his mother said, but he just mumbled angrily under his breath.
“Go, I’ll deal with this,” Moira said to Jake, pushing him out of the room.
Holly followed Moira inside, even though she was worried about their safety. The patient had lost it; he was screaming and crying. Holly realized why all of this was happening. Something had gone wrong with the brain surgery, and now he was blaming Jake for it. It was a sad case, and one of the things Holly hated about her job. When something did not go according to plan, it was always tragic.
She left the room because the young man was still screaming, and a crowded room wasn’t good for any patient in that situation. Jake was speaking to Desire, and she noticed with anger—probably jealousy—that Desire was touching his arm.
She went over to the nurse’s station.
“Is he okay?” David asked.
“I don’t know. He’s freaking out. If it were up to me, I would sedate him.” She sighed and looked at David. “I mean, he clearly doesn’t want to listen to anyone, so sedating him for a while might do the trick, don’t you think?”
“He needs to come to terms with who he is now, Holly,” Desire said from behind her. “I know you are passionate about your work, but you’ll learn soon enough that some things need to be dealt with as soon as possible.”
“No, Holly’s right. That sounds like a great plan,” Jake said. Desire stared at him. Ignoring her, he said, “David, please give him two CCs of midazolam.”
David ran off in the opposite direction, with Desire tripping behind him, but not before she gave Holly a glare.
Great, her next inventory day was going to come sooner than she wanted.
Back in Mr. Swanson’s room, the anger still raged, but it didn’t last long after David injected the sedative into his system. When all was quiet, Moira and David came out. David had tears in his eyes.
“Are you okay?” Holly asked.
“I hate this part of my job. It sucks.”
“Tell me about it.” Seeing a patient in distress was heartbreaking.
When eleven rolled around, Holly sat in on a surgery with Moira and a resident. She managed to answer most of the questions Moira asked, laughing when the woman told the others why she liked working with Holly.
It was clear that the others didn’t share Moira’s feelings at all.
Holly’s phoned vibrated.
Meet me for lunch.
She squinted at the message. Was he seriously asking her to lunch? Everyone would see them.
Can’t, I’m in surgery. Okay, that was a fib, but it was good to make him wait.
What kind?
Double bypass.
Then I’ll see you at two.
Where?
Your little screaming spot.
Hahahahahaha.
The day he’d found her there, they’d screamed at each other, with Jake threatening her with a warning. It seemed like such a long time ago.
Jake didn’t reply, so she continued watching the surgery, which took two and a half hours, finishing at half-past one.
“I’ve got to go,” said Moira. “Hair appointment at two.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes, I need a cut. Make sure my patients are still alive when I get back, Holly.”
Holly laughed, shaking her head as Moira disappeared around the corner. Something told her that Jake had known about Moira’s hair appointment.
“My pager’s on. If anything happens, let me know ASAP. I’m going to take a nap,” Holly said to Gale after filing a chart for a patient who’d been released.
H
er heart beat faster as she climbed the stairs, not quite believing she was going to have lunch with Jake. Would it feel just like old times? She wondered if maybe she shouldn’t aim for old times. But she’d changed and so had he, so she should concentrate on how he was now and do the things he loved doing. Hopefully, that would be enough for him to call off the wedding to Kate. Holly smiled, but it already felt like a hopeless case. Kate was perfect.
There was a note on the door that said Lock the door behind you.
Right, it wasn’t just going to be lunch.
She pulled the note off the door and, opening the door a crack, she slipped through it, flicking the lock behind her.
Turning, she made her way past the first few generators and then the air conditioners, the noise diminishing somewhat as she continued forward.
“Jake!” she yelled.
“Here!”
As she moved toward his voice, it became slightly darker too. Peeking out from around the corner was an edge of a blanket, and on it sat Jake, legs stretched out before him, a flashlight on one side, a huge bottle of grape juice, plastic cups, and Chinese take-out boxes on the other. Holly suppressed her laughter, suddenly realizing where Jamie had gotten her love for Chinese food from. She was so much like her father. Suddenly, she felt better about what she was doing, because if he loved Michael, he could love Jamie, too.
“This is nice,” she said loudly.
“What can I say, one of my many talents.”
Laughing, she took one of the boxes as she sat down opposite him.
“I hope you don’t mind Chinese?”
She shook her head. “Let me guess, your favorite?”
Secret Love (The 4Ever Series Book 2) Page 25