******
Jake was absent from Downsend for two days. Holly wished he’d stayed away longer, because two days wasn’t nearly enough time for her to distance herself from him.
There was another neuro emergency at Downsend, and Holly was grateful Moira had gotten a serious cardiac case recently. She was taking Holly through all the preparations necessary for the pacemaker transplant they had planned for that day, which meant Holly was too busy to be distracted.
When the transplant surgery was over with, Holly was sure Jake had already left. It was late, eight in the evening. As soon as she was done updating the patient’s file, she rushed off to the ladies’ room, and upon walking out, realized that she’d just walked past Jake when she looked up. Averting her eyes, she pretended to not have seen him—to no avail. He saw her. He grabbed her coat, pulling her backward and dragging her in the direction he’d been headed. She knew what was about to happen. Again.
She wanted to be with him so badly, but she couldn’t. She had to stop it, whatever it was.
When he took her into a store room, he immediately began to kiss her, or rather, he kissed her once, then moved to her neckline.
“Stop.” Holly pushed him slightly away from her.
“Are you okay?” he asked, with more questions in his eyes, as well as slight grin on his face. “Is it—”
Holly didn’t allow him to finish whatever he was going to say. “Am I okay?” She looked at him. “No, Jake. I’m not. I can’t do this anymore, and it’s not just because I feel like shit afterward.”
Jake’s face fell and he looked the other way. “You’re really starting with this shit again?” he asked, clearly not believing her.
She shook her head. “I’m serious. I can’t do this, and I won’t do this. You have a family, for crying out loud.”
He sniffed hard, the expression on his face clearly telling her that he was irritated and slightly annoyed, all because she’d just ruined a fun activity for him. That pissed her off.
“I’m not a toy, Jake, that you can fuck whenever you want, then chuck aside until the next time.”
“Holly, I never—”
“Don’t! You make me feel like a cheap whore every single time this happens.” She felt like crying, but she swallowed her tears.
Jake gave her an odd look. But to Holly it told her he knew exactly what she was saying. He just wasn’t prepared to admit it.
“You hardly kiss me, we don’t ever talk. Not to mention the fact that you don’t text me for days, and then show up out of the blue expecting...” she trailed off, chuckling sadly. “I can’t do this crap anymore, so please, let’s end this before people get hurt.”
Jake was silent, and he didn’t even have the decency to look at her properly. Deciding that was the closest thing to a reaction she was going to get from him, she turned and left. Even though her heart was breaking into a thousand pieces, she couldn’t continue with this farce.
A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek, and she swiped at it with the back of her hand. She didn’t want to think about Jamie, or whatever she’d have to tell her one day about her father. Jamie would one day grow up and not believe in the fairy tale Holly had told her. She’d want to know who her father was, and why he wasn’t in her life. And then, Holly wouldn’t be able to lie to her anymore, and she’d end up hurting the only person who would never stop loving her.
Jake hadn’t wanted the babies when she was pregnant, and he hadn’t wanted her either. He still didn’t want her. All he wanted from Holly now was sex.
By the end of her shift that evening, she was exhausted from simply trying to concentrate the whole day. Changing, she grabbed her things and went home, not have the slightest clue how she managed to get there safely, since she couldn’t remember noticing anything on the road. After a hot bath, she tried to watch TV, but eventually gave up and went to bed, although once again, she struggled to fall asleep.
Holly should have felt proud of herself for telling Jake their affair had to end, but she didn’t. She wanted him. Everything that was her wanted him, and the fact that he didn’t fight for her should’ve been the warning light putting things in the right perspective for her. But it didn’t.
She guessed that the saying, ‘The heart wants what the heart wants,’ was true. And hers wanted him, even though he was the biggest fucking idiot on two legs when it came to her and her feelings.
The following morning, she walked into another emergency, and Moira asked her to scrub in again. They ended up being busy right through the day until seven that evening. But Moira wasn’t tired. She wanted a night out, and she wanted Holly to join her.
“Come on, Holly. Join me, please,” Moira begged again.
“I’m tired.”
“It will be fun. You need mingling time, Holly, as well as a tall drink in your hand, followed by a couple of shots.”
“I’m the intern here. Don’t you have any attending friends?”
“I do, but they are all so serious and boring,” Moira replied with a pout. “Please?”
Holly didn’t want to go. Seeing how close Moira and Jake were left no doubt that Moira was just as close to Amelia. Going out with Moira might mean running into Amelia.
“Who’s going with?”
“Only me. Ugh.” She pulled her face. “And Kate. I forgot about her.”
Holly couldn’t help but to giggle. “You don’t like your cousin-to-be?”
“It’s not that, she’s a real darling, really, even though she is horrible when it comes to remembering someone’s name. I’m not excited about hanging out with her tonight.”
Holly laughed, shaking her head, but Moira wouldn’t let up. “Please, come with. I’m begging you.”
“Fine, I’ll go,” she snarled, smiling, finally giving in. Moira hadn’t mentioned Amelia’s name, but if she was there, well, maybe it was time to finally put all her anger into words.
Why she couldn’t bring herself to pull Jake aside and lay it all out for him was beyond her. It probably had something to do with Amelia not being able to have babies, but after what Amelia did to her, she shouldn’t care either way—the woman had betrayed her in the worst way.
At Downstairs, she was happy to find fewer people there than last time, with only a couple of groups hanging around tables. Grunting, she took a deep breath when she caught Kate lifting her hand up to wave at Moira. When they neared, Kate’s eyes widened on noticing Holly. “Hey. Who’s this?” she asked, looking at Moira. Her eyes were huge, which made her look like a cartoon character.
“Kate, this is Holly. Holly, Kate. She’s an intern at Downsend.”
“Nice to meet you,” Holly said. Kate smiled, but Holly didn’t like the way she was looking at her.
Finally finding her manners, she greeted Holly. “Nice to meet you, too.” Her handshake was firm, and her smile gorgeous. She was truly beautiful. Jake was a fucking idiot. No, he was a bastard.
As the night flew by, Holly wished with all her heart that what she’d thought about Kate would turn out to be true, but she hadn’t even been close. The woman was smart and funny. Even though she called her Haley and not Holly, she enjoyed Kate’s stories and jokes that she even wished she had taken the position at P&E just to work with her. She was really kind, too, and paid for all their drinks.
The evening turned out to be so much fun, they’d even gone up together to sing a couple of songs, since it was karaoke night at the bar. Holly connected with her quickly, so she found it strange that Rod didn’t like her jokes. They had a good laugh as Kate told them what happened the other day in the OR. She was so embarrassed about it, but it was as funny as hell.
“So, I’m dying to know,” Holly began, “How did you get the Edinger Award?”
“I wasn’t even supposed to be at the hospital that day. It was on one of my days off, and I was still a resident. That morning, I went for a jog, and as I exited the park, a wheel nut hit me right in the temple.” She relayed the rest of the story, how sh
e’d blacked out for a few seconds after being hit, and that when she came to it felt as if she’d been thrown head first onto the set of a Terminator movie. Cars were piled on top of one another, others smashed between them. But even with all the chaos around her, she didn’t stop to think, she just moved, helping injured passengers, maneuvering between the cars to care for the ones she was able to reach, bandaging people up with strips of clothing and whatever else she could find, checking for those who had serious wounds. The bloodshed had sickened her, and during the very worst of those few minutes, she’d thought she would give up being a doctor to avoid ever seeing anything like it again.
The last patient she found was hurt extremely badly. His chest had been ripped wide open. Fortunately, by that time, the ambulance crews had arrived. When they eventually pried the man out from beneath the vehicle he was pinned under, they figured he must have been a bystander, as Kate had been. She had held his heart in her hands, massaging it while a medic pumped air into the man’s lungs, trying to resuscitate him.
Holly listened in admiration. She couldn’t believe this woman was Tanya’s cousin.
“I guess that’s when I fell in love with cardio. Three weeks later, I was nominated for the Edinger award.” She ended her story with, “And that’s how I met the love of my life, too, since he was the doctor who attended to me, making sure that the wheel nut hadn’t damaged anything.”
Kate giggled, but Holly had to force her smile.
“He was a fucker at one stage, though.”
Holly spit out some of her drink and Kate and Moira burst into a fit of giggles.
Moira started hitting her on the back, mouth agape at what Kate had just shared.
“I told you, men aren’t always perfect,” Holly said to Moira.
“You should have seen him when I started dating his ass. He had this thing for strawberry blondes, and their looks didn’t matter one bit. He fucked them all.”
“Excuse me?” Holly blurted, her expression one of shock. Both Moira and Kate chuckled.
“He used to, but now he doesn’t even notice them. I felt sorry for his poor family, it was a living nightmare for them, and when he noticed me…”
Moira cleared her throat, interrupting her.
“Okay, except for that one time when I tried to go strawberry blond! It went horribly wrong, and I walked around with orange hair that didn’t suit me at all. I changed it back and told him to get over it, ASAP.”
Holly laughed again.
“No. I refuse to believe that Jake was like that,” Moira stated.
“Honey, your cousin was a total fucking douchebag, that much I can tell you.”
“I don’t believe it.” Moira took a sip of her beer.
“So, what was it that made you stay with him?” Holly had to know.
“He’s everything I’ve ever wanted. But, yes, we fought a lot, and broke up a lot. I threw tons of stuff at him, too, but the make-up sex was the best, and things evolved around that. I am where I am today because of him, too. He’s not a douche anymore, Moira, but he was.”
Kate laughed as Moira shook her head in disbelief. Holly pitied Kate, because she knew Jake was still a douchebag.
Holly’s phone buzzed, and when she pulled it out from her pocket and opened the inbox, she immediately saw it was Jake. Fucking bastard. Turning it off, she shoved it back into her pocket without reading the message. How he could do this to Kate was mind-boggling.
“So, why didn’t you take the position at P&E?” Kate asked Moira.
“Because I got a better package at Downsend.”
“What did he offer you?” Holly knew she was speaking about Jake.
“About four hundred ten thousand a year.”
“Seriously!” Kate stared at her, her eyes bulging in shock.
“And he begged super nicely, I’ll add. He said that there was something fishy going on in the cardiology department.”
Holly remained quiet.
“You’re talking about Embers?” Kate asked.
“Yeah, but he’s actually kind of sweet.”
Holly snorted, which had both girls looking at her.
“Spill,” Moira demanded. “If you tell me that Jake was right, I’ll kill you.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“That snort said it all.” Moira raised an eyebrow.
“It doesn’t matter, but I can tell you that he likes to use his authority on the interns.”
“In what way?” Kate asked, all laughter gone.
“Don’t make me tell you, please. Just know that your fiancé is right. Embers is an asshole.”
“How do you know this?”
“Please, Moira. Just let it go. I’m begging you. It stopped. I dealt with it.”
“He did something to you,” she continued to push, “and that’s why you transferred from cardiology to pediatrics.”
Holly studied Moira as she said it.
“How did you know?”
Moira closed her eyes for a second, then opened them again. “I saw your file. I saw what Somers wrote, and I put two and two together.”
That was a lie, Holly knew. Rod must’ve told Jake something about Embers when he discovered that it was technically Jake’s hospital now. It was a horrible pill to swallow.
“I’m not going to say anything, because I can see you two will spill everything, and that’s the last thing I need. It’s over and taken care of. I don’t want problems.”
“Girlfriend, if a doctor is harassing an intern, they need to be reported to the board and get fired, or at least put on probation. You know that, right?” said Kate.
“Kate, please. I know you have a huge heart but seriously, I can take care of myself. I’m begging you not to say anything.”
“I have to tell Jake he was right. He needs to find something with which to fire his ass. I’m not going to have interns and other residents live in fear just because he is a horny little bastard,” she grunted. “I hate men like that; the ones who seem the nicest hide monsters within.”
“Please, I’m begging you not to say anything.”
“Okay, I won’t, but you’ve got to promise me: if anything happens again, report his ass to Jake. Use my name if you have to.”
Holly sucked in her lips.
“I’m serious.”
“How on earth are you related to Tanya?” slipped out, and Kate laughed.
“I can’t wait for her to get her head screwed on straight.” She smiled, but her grin disappeared and she gasped. “Shit. Should I worry? She constantly talks about working with Embers.”
“No, I don’t think she would take that shit, either.” She only had eyes for one guy—her cousin’s fiancé—Holly thought.
The evening was just what Holly had needed. It was pretty much perfect.
Around ten, they called it a night. Holly said goodbye to both Kate and Moira in the parking lot before getting into Rev’s car.
Why on earth did Kate have to be so perfect? Why couldn’t she be the airhead Holly had thought her to be? She hated that she liked the woman so much, because she had really wanted a reason to not give a shit.
In frustration, she banged her head a couple of times on the steering wheel. What was Jake turning her into?
JAKE
KATE GOT IN LATE WHILE HE was reading up on a substantial surgery scheduled for the next day at P&E. Her presence wasn’t going to help him in the least. He was feeling worse than a piece of shit, and this time it had nothing to do with what he had done to his family. He’d made Holly feel cheap.
He should’ve known that not messaging her would’ve taken a toll on her, but he’d honestly thought she was fine. In his heart, he’d wanted her to suffer, except that the outcome had been worse than he could have imagined. He’d made her feel like a whore.
Kate walked into the room and fell onto the bed next to him.
Jake looked down at her, at the bright smile spread over her face. “So how were my two boys this evening?”
/> “Awesome,” he replied, kissing the tip of her nose.
“You probably said yes to everything. What time did he go to bed?”
Jake just chuckled. “Nothing for you to worry about.”
“You are such a sucker for that boy,” she said, scrunching her nose up.
“And for that boy’s mom, too.” He gave her a smile. Her heart would break in two if she discovered what he’d done, but his was bleeding at that moment. It was becoming harder to pretend lately. It would also make her think that he’d never stopped with his shit from a year ago, which wasn’t true. He had stopped.
Kate sulked.
“What is it?”
“You were right.”
“Aren’t I always?”
“Ha ha, not funny. I’m talking about Embers.”
“I was?” Jake squinted.
“Yes, I met Moira’s intern tonight…” She struggled with her name.
Jake squinted at her, hoping he could hide the sudden flash of guilt that pierced in his heart. His heart pounded.
“Ugh, why you don’t notice them anymore is beyond my knowledge. You know, the girl with the fake strawberry blonde hair. Haley.” Wrong name, but close.
“I’ve told you before that I go to Downsend to run the fucking place, not to fuck the interns.”
Kate threw her head backward and let out a belly laugh. Jake chuckled, too, even though he’d just uttered the biggest lie ever.
“Why was I right?” He began to worry when she mentioned Holly and Embers in the same sentence.
“She doesn’t want trouble, and I promised not to say anything, so please, you officially know nothing.”
“Who are we talking about now?”
“Haley! Focus, Jake.”
“Okay…” He swallowed past the lump in his throat. “What about her, and how was I right about Embers?”
Secret Love (The 4Ever Series Book 2) Page 24