Secret Love (The 4Ever Series Book 2)

by Isabella White

  “What?” He took out his phone.

  “Give her some time, please. Twenty minutes, just to calm down. Jane called me as Holly hadn’t explained anything to her, and she couldn’t handle Holly’s outburst. So, I told her the truth.”

  “They know?”

  “I spoke to Holly when you were on the phone.”

  “Uncle Frankie. You should’ve given me the phone.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know who you were speaking to, Jake.”

  “So, you just told Holly what I should’ve told her?”

  “Jake,” Amelia lay a hand on his arm. “Maybe it’s better that she heard it from Uncle Frankie. She trusts him more than she does any of us at the moment.”

  “I guess… still.” He closed his eyes. Knowing that the whole situation had upset her as much as it did him was a good sign. Maybe she would give him a chance with Jamie. He sat on the couch and stared at the clock on the wall. The minutes ticked by slowly, although it felt like hours. When exactly twenty minutes had passed, he dialed Holly’s number.

  It rang and rang; the ringing a good sign, which meant she was available, but he didn’t know what he would do if her voicemail came on. Maybe twenty minutes hadn’t been enough. As he was about to disconnect, when someone picked up.

  “Holly’s phone,” Rod answered.

  “It’s Jake, Rod. May I please speak to Holly?”

  “I don’t think that is going to be possible, Jake. She needs time.”

  “I didn’t do this, Rod. I wanted them. She must know that.”

  “Yeah, well she didn’t, okay? She’s not taking this easily. Just give her some time.”

  Jake stared at his phone as the line went dead. He’d never been so rude to Jake; Rod was upset with him. Upset was a mild word. Rod was pissed and he probably didn’t believe a word from Jake’s mouth, but to be honest, he didn’t fucking care what Rod believed.

  “Who was that?” Amelia asked.

  “Rodney. She can’t talk.” He put the phone in his pocket and went to his room.

  The hours ticked by. He called her every hour.

  Every time he called, Rod picked up the phone, and every time, Rod’s voice was more agitated, but Jake didn’t give a shit. He needed to speak to Holly, and he wasn’t going to stop calling until she deigned to speak to him.

  “Please tell her to contact me,” Jake said when Rod once again answered the phone

  “Yeah,” Rod said and hung up.

  After what felt like the millionth call, a female picked up. “Holly’s phone,” she said.

  “May I please speak to Holly?”

  “Is this Jake?”

  “Yes, who am I speaking to?”

  “Her mother.”

  Jake used to feel only one emotion when it came to Holly’s mother. Anger. She left Holly just as her ass of an ex-husband did after Holly’s sister’s death. She drank her sorrows away. Now he knew how easy it was to do that, because he just wanted to drink. If he didn’t have to speak to Holly, he would’ve been drunk already.

  “Could I please speak to Holly?”

  “She’s asleep, Jake, I’ll tell her that you phoned.”

  “Thank you, it doesn’t matter what time. Just ask her to phone me as soon as she can.”

  “Will do.”

  The connection broke.

  He tried one more time. She was still asleep.

  He decided to give it time and went back downstairs.

  Amelia was the only one sitting in the lounge. Jake shook his head as she looked up at him. The look on her face asked the questions for her.

  He opened his kitchen cupboard and took out a bottle of vodka.

  “Jake, that’s not the way…”

  “Just let me be,” he said and went back to his room.

  He’d find a way to speak to her tonight, but right now, he needed to numb this ache that was busy eating at his soul.

  Halfway through the bottle, he still didn’t feel any better. He wasn’t drunk, not even tipsy. He stared blankly at the TV screen in the living room, his mind swirling with his thoughts. He still couldn’t quite believe he had a daughter, that he would have had two daughters if his mother hadn’t interfered in his life.

  Amelia was lying on one couch, half-watching the movie. Armand was sleeping behind her, his arms wrapped tightly around her. Jake remembered how excited Amelia had been when they’d first found out Holly was pregnant, and he knew she was also going through a range of emotions.

  Robin was on the other couch, still texting furiously. She’d been at it all day, but he paid no mind to it.

  His phone finally vibrated in his pocket and he shifted in his seat to dig it out.

  The name Henry flashed on his screen. Finally, he thought and picked up the phone.

  Holly didn’t say anything.

  “Holly?” Jake called. He could feel the tears threatening to spill over, just knowing she was finally listening to him.

  Everyone in the room turned to look at him. Armand rubbed his bleary eyes at Jake’s voice.

  “Yeah,” she whispered softly.

  He closed his eyes. “I never spoke to you that day,” he said, his voice breaking at the end. He bit hard on his lip to suppress the tears, and swallowed the lump in his throat. A part of him felt that he was already starting this conversation wrong, but he didn’t care anymore. He just needed her to hear the truth from his mouth. Amelia came to sit next to him on the couch, grabbing his hand.

  “I know,” she said, taking a deep breath. “Frank told me everything.”

  “I’m so sorry. I should’ve been there. I can’t tell you…” he trailed off, not wanting to let his emotions run away with him again. He couldn’t. He started to cry softly again, lowering the phone. It was embarrassing, but he couldn’t help it. A pair of manly arms gave him a sideways hug.

  Amelia took the phone from him.

  “Holly,” he heard his sister say.

  “Why didn’t you call me again? We would’ve been there for you,” Amelia asked. She broke down. It only lasted a couple of seconds as Amelia pulled herself together. “I’m so sorry. I wish I had a magic wand and could just rewind everything to that day.”

  He couldn’t hear what Holly was saying, his body still shaking with all the angst.

  “My mom must have taken my phone that morning after I went to the gym. I should’ve sent you a message when I wanted to. None of this would’ve happened, but it was so early and I didn’t want to wake you.” Amelia carried on.

  Jake felt regret. He should’ve sent her a fucking message that morning. Told her how much he loved her, that if his mom started with her shit, that he’d shut her down immediately.

  “I know. Still.” Amelia went on to tell her how she’d spent that entire day at the police station to report her phone stolen after she’d spent nearly an hour looking for it. Never in a million years had she thought their mother would’ve taken it when her mother phoned her that morning for coffee. She babbled on about how beautiful Jamie Bernice was from the pictures Frank had shown them, and even scolded her about the name choice she had made for Romalia. Why had she chosen Romalia when she’d thought none of them wanted her? Jake wondered that, too. Why that name?

  “We missed five years of her life, and now it’s going to take forever for her to get to know us. My mom has no idea the damage she’s done.” Amelia cried softly again. A moment of silence followed. Amelia’s expression changed a few times from confused to angry to confused again, and then her mouth went agape. “What!”

  Jake looked up to see his sister just staring in front of her, her mouth open. Pull yourself together, he scolded himself, forcing his tears back on a huge sniff.

  “Why?” Amelia was asking her again.

  “Amelia, give me the phone.” Jake spoke softly, but she just waved him away, pressing her finger into her other ear.

  He hated when she did that. He saw her close her eyes, and a tear roll down her cheek.

  “Holly, why?” s
he sniffed. “Thank you,” Amelia said, saying nothing further, just listening intently.

  “Give me the phone,” Jake requested again, touching her shoulder gently.

  Amelia raised angry eyes at him, but continued to listen. He could hear Holly’s voice, but not what she was saying.

  “I can’t believe you did that.”

  Did what? He wondered.

  It was a while before Amelia spoke again. “We’re back. Holly. Jake never went to Hawaii, and he’s not getting married today. Me, Armand, my father, Uncle Frankie, and Robin are the only ones who came back yesterday to be with Jake, and to find out what the hell happened.”

  She thinks I left. Of course she does.

  “Amelia,” he grunted again, but she ignored him.

  “Yes, we’re here.” She giggled softly, and once again.

  “Fuck, Amelia,” growled Jake.

  She kept talking to Holly, still ignoring him, and he swore that if she didn’t give him the phone, he would push her against the wall and take it from her.

  Amelia squinted. “How do you know about Michael?” she asked, staring at Jake.

  Fuck! Jake’s body went rigid.

  “You know what? It doesn’t matter,” she said, still looking at Jake. “Michael’s not Jake’s. Sure, the boy calls him daddy, but Jake and Kate only became serious when he was about eight months old. He’s still with Kate in Hawaii.”

  She’d thought Michael was his, that he wouldn’t want Jamie, only his little boy. No wonder she felt as she did. If he’d only had the guts to speak to her about what had happened four years ago, not fearing what she would say, this could’ve been sorted out a long time ago.

  His head flung back to his sister.

  “Damn it, Amelia just give me the fucking phone!” Jake roared again.

  “My brother is getting antsy. Speak to you soon, okay?”

  Amelia finally handed Jake the phone. “Hey. I hope my sister didn’t bombard you.” Jake made his way upstairs to his room so he could speak to Holly in peace.

  “She wouldn’t be Amelia if she didn’t.”

  He huffed. “Holly, I can’t tell you how sorry—”

  “Jake… just stop it please.”

  “No, Holly. I wasn’t around…” Tears threatened once more just thinking about it, but he held them back. He needed to speak to her about so many things, needed to apologize for… well, everything.

  “It’s not your fault, okay? You didn’t know.”

  Jake closed his eyes. He couldn’t believe his ears.

  “So, what now?” she asked. He could hear her voice breaking.

  “I don’t know. It’s going to take months if not years for her to get to know us. Not to even mention you leaving soon.” He sighed. “This is such a big fucking mess my mom has caused. But if it’s not too much to ask, I would like to meet her once before you leave, please.”

  “Jake, she is not some puppy you can pick up when you want and…”

  “Holly, I know. She my daughter.” He’s voice almost broke and for some reason he felt angry with her for insinuating that he would do that to his own flesh and blood.

  “I’m just saying, Jake. She gets attached quickly. She knows about you, and if you…”

  His eyes flung open. “Wait, what?”

  “She knows about you. Just because I hated you doesn’t mean I’d take it out on Jamie and make her hate you too. She wanted to know all about you, and I told her.”

  Hated me. His jaw muscles jumped. “What have you told her?”

  “Certainly not that you didn’t want her. She’s five years old. I’m not Cruella. I made up a silly story to explain your absence.”

  He closed her eyes. “What story, Holly?”

  She was hesitant. “I told her that you guys lived in a rainbow.”

  In a rainbow... His heart wanted to break.

  “She’s been waiting for this day so long, but if you are just going to…”

  “I’m not that guy,” he said loud. “I never was.” She didn’t even give him a chance to stay and fight with him. “Please, I want to meet her.”

  “Okay,” Holly took a deep breath. “Breakfast tomorrow at the Marriot.”

  “What about breakfast at the cabin? I can let Frank come and pick you all up and see how the day goes.”

  “Okay,” she sounded hesitant. “What time will Frank be here?”

  “Early, say six. The cabin is about an hour’s drive.”

  She kept quiet for a short while. “Okay, six it is.”

  “See you.”

  “Bye,” she said softly and put the phone down.

  His heart wanted to break but he was going to see his little girl tomorrow morning.

  He didn’t even have a gift for Jamie. All the stores were closed now, and there was no way he’d find anything that early in the morning.

  He closed his eyes. He was going to meet his little girl tomorrow.

  When he got back downstairs, he heard his father and Armand already speaking about rainbows. How was that for coincidence?

  He had no idea why Holly had told Jamie about him, or what exactly she’d told her, but he was glad that Jamie at least knew her father existed

  Then his father said, “Jake is the hero of this one, Amelia.”

  “Dad, we all want to make her feel special.”

  “I know.”

  “Hero of what?”

  Amelia looked at him and went over to give her brother a hug. “She told me about the rainbow. Asked me nicely to fill in our part. It’s why we have to come up with something brilliant.”

  Gus cleared his throat.

  “Sorry, I mean Dad and Armand.”

  “Okay,” Jake smiled.

  “When do we get to meet her?”

  “She’s agreed to breakfast at the cabin.”

  Amelia gave him a dashing smile, one he hadn’t seen in a long time. She was hopping up and down on one spot, clearly excited to meet her niece.

  “What time?”

  “Early. I told Holly Frank would go pick them up at six.”

  “But we need to buy her something. The stores aren’t open now, and there’s no way they’ll be open that early in the morning.”

  “Calm down. I’m sure one of us can slip out and buy something later in the day.”

  “She really agreed to go to the cabin?”

  “Yeah, if Frank agrees to go pick them up.” He glanced at Frank, who was sitting on one of the breakfast nook chairs.

  “Not a problem.”

  “Thanks.”

  “The cabin,” Amelia said. “There are a lot of mosquitos and bugs this time of the year.”

  “It’ll be fun, Melia. She needs to have fun, both of them do. We’ve got the lake, we’ve got the cabin. We’ll have fun.”

  “Holly is coming?”

  “Of course. I doubt she’d send Jamie to come with us without being present herself.”

  “I can’t believe she agreed to this. You need to sort the shit between the two of you out, Jake.”

  “Amelia, please.”

  “I’m just saying.”

  He hated that his sister was so pushy, but she was right.

  He should’ve asked Holly to meet him so they could speak face-to-face and sort through their shit. Regardless, meeting his little girl was a start and that was all he could hope for. He finally smiled. He still couldn’t quite believe he was going to meet the child he’d thought was gone forever. He chuckled as he thought about the story they came up with. And Holly? She was everything he’d known she would be since the first day he’d laid eyes on her. The way her friends spoke about her, and the way she laughed and made jokes with others around her, it warmed his heart. He knew then, and he knew now, that she was the one for him. But if he knew that, why did it feel like they’d always be apart?

  HOLLY TOUCHED THE RED BUTTON AFTER speaking to Jake.

  “Do you think it’s wise for him to meet her so soon?”

  “Mom, I don’t have all th
e time in the world. I’m leaving for Zürich soon, and you know how badly she’s been waiting for the right rainbow.”

  “Holly, I know, but she is not some…”

  “He understands that, Mom. He was sort of upset when I implied that. He wants to meet her and I don’t know what to say anymore. I just want to sort this out and move on with my life.” Her voice hitched and she blinked furiously to keep the tears at bay. Jane’s eyebrows furrowed. “It was the wrong choice, wasn’t it?”

  Jane hugged her and she just started to cry again.

  She always made stupid choices. She shouldn’t have agreed to let him meet Jamie so soon. But when he started to cry, and Amelia took the phone from him, she couldn’t get that out of her head. She felt sorry for him. Her damn self-sacrificing pity striking again.

  “Okay, don’t cry. At least Jamie will be happy about this. I’ll call Frank. Find out what we are dealing with to get a better sense of who he is, darling.”

  She wanted to tell her mother that she knew Jake wasn’t a bad guy, but she didn’t really know that. All they ever did was screw the living daylights out of each other; they barely spoke to each other. She couldn’t be sure that all of this wouldn’t blow up in her face.

  So she just nodded and let her mom go.

  She went to the living room where Jamie and Rod were watching a movie. A bowl filled with popcorn sat between them and they were both snuggled underneath a blanket.

  Rod looked at Holly and opened the blanket next to Jamie, and Holly snuggled in next to her daughter, staring mindlessly at the screen as she cuddled Jamie. Her heart beat rapidly as she thought about everything that would happen the next day.

  When the movie was done and the credits starting rolling, she pulled a sleepy Jamie into her arms and stood up, shifting her weight slightly. “Time for bed, peanut. Say night-night to Rodney.”

  “Night, Roddy.”

  “Night, bean.” He stood up and gave her a couple of loud, smacking kisses all over her face.

  Her laughter traveled through the apartment.

  It was music to Holly’s ears.

  When they were settled in bed, they said a prayer but in their own special way. They listed all the things they were grateful for, and just as they finished the prayer, Jane came in and took the other spot next to Jamie’s.