Secret Love (The 4Ever Series Book 2)

by Isabella White

  He looked at the photo of the tiny baby with numerous tubes protruding from her body, making her look like she was part robot, part human. His lip vibrated. She was so tiny. He looked at Frank who looked sad.

  “We had to take pictures for the files, my boy. Sorry.”

  “She was really this small?”

  Frank nodded. “They both were.”

  Jake looked at his mother again as he put the photos in his back pocket. “I’m going to ask you again, and if you tell me the truth of what happened that day—what you did, how you planned it, everything—I promise you ten sessions with Blair wherein you will have the chance to convince me why I still need you in my life. If not, you will walk out that door and you will never see me again.”

  His father stared at him, shaking his head back and forth as if he couldn’t quite come to terms with what had transpired. “My offer is the same, Mara.” Everyone looked at Gus. “To be honest with you, I don’t know who you are anymore. Tell the truth and I will accompany you to see a professional, and we’ll try to make this marriage work. But if you are not prepared to do that, I will sign divorce papers tonight. You know I have the contacts to make that happen.” Gus wiped tears away.

  Jake knew his dad was angry, but to contemplate divorce after so many wonderful years—which, okay, five of them had been a lie—was something he couldn’t wrap his head around.

  Mara looked at her husband, her eyes teary. “All right, can I at least have a drink, please, if that isn’t too much to ask.”

  “Kate?” Jake said by way of asking, and she nodded. She looked angry, which only meant that by now she’d put two and two together as to why he’d spent so many nights at Downsend.

  “Can I ask one question, Jake?”

  “Sure.”

  “How long has Holly been back?”

  He didn’t reply.

  “Jake?”

  “I never said I’d answer, Mom.”

  Mara sighed as Jake pushed a drink into her hands.

  “I knew she wasn’t the one for you when she told me about her family.”

  He got angry. “You what?”

  “She came from a broken home, Jake. People like that don’t know how to fight. Her father married a bimbo, which taught her it’s fine to cheat on your spouse, and you wanted that?”

  Jake closed his eyes and counted to ten. His parents had been married for thirty-one fucking years, and he’d ended up cheating on his own almost-spouse.

  “Her mother turned to the bottle when the world pushed her too much.”

  “Pushed her too much!”

  “Mara!” Gus shouted at the same time.

  “It’s how I see it. Like mother, the daughter would do the same, and he would be dragged under.” She looked at Gus and pointed at Jake.

  “She lost her daughter! You cannot possible have any idea how that felt, but I can tell you. It feels like someone has ripped your guts out and forgot to put them back in order and you’re left with a gaping hole right here.” Jake hit his chest hard with the palm of his hand as tears rolled down his cheeks. “One that grows and grows by the minute and shreds and pulls the rest of you apart. I’m not good with words like Amelia, but I know how that feels and I understand why Jane started to drink. It is an awful fucking feeling, one you can’t do anything about; you can’t control it, and you can’t make it better. Nothing makes it better. And because of you, I wasn’t there!” He smacked his hands on the counter hard. He was desperate to walk out, tell her to forget about his offer, but he couldn’t. He needed to know everything.

  His mother stared at him. She had tears in her eyes.

  “Don’t you dare cry. You don’t have the right to that.”

  She wiped them away but didn’t say anything, simply lowered her eyes to stare at the table. Eventually—after what seemed like days of pure silence—she began to recount what had taken place. She had asked Holly to go on the pill. The subsequent news that Holly was pregnant had shocked her to her core. Mara had been livid, yes, but she’d also been scared. She was a hundred percent sure that her grandchild was not going to grow up in a happy home, because she was convinced Holly and Jake wouldn’t have been happy together, and that was when she made her choice and started to put her plan into action. It was why she’d begged Jake to go and speak to her that day—she just hadn’t bargained that Amelia would be there, too. As for recording the conversation, she admitted to doing it. The hairs on Jake’s arms rose at how insane his mother really was, that she was capable of doing what she did. It wasn’t the mother he knew. What had happened to her?

  His phone beeped and he looked at the screen. It was a message from Amelia.

  We are going back to my place. Holly doesn’t want to stay anymore. I swear Jake if you don’t sort this shit out, I will never speak to you again. Just break off this wedding and come home.

  Mara kept quiet as Jake read the message. He put the phone in his back pocket.

  “Sorry about that, I just had to deal with a message from one of your daughters.”

  Mara nodded. “Is she okay?”

  Jake huffed. “No, Mom, none of us are okay. You can carry on now. I’m listening.”

  Mara took a deep breath and she carried on.

  She had pushed the surgery to early morning rather than the afternoon, and she had phoned him around one in the morning to tell him. She’d said it was a last-minute decision from Dr. Huyo, but that it had been her doing, so she’d have time to carry out her plan. She couldn’t give Jake time to tell Holly about their conversation; otherwise her plan wouldn’t have worked.

  Jake remembered how excited and honored he’d been to meet Dr. Huyo, the greatest neurologist the world had ever seen. She was right in this respect; interns didn’t get that chance, but she’d made it happen. It was a great career move for her son. So, she’d taken his phone and had redirected all of Holly’s calls to her own number the minute he went into surgery. Exactly what they’d all assumed.

  She ground those words out as if they meant everything to her.

  She’d taken Amelia’s phone so Amelia wouldn’t be able to contact Holly the morning she asked Amelia to swing by early, and when Amelia had asked if Mara had seen the phone afterward, she’d used her daughter’s longing for a pregnancy to convince her that perhaps she was suffering from pregnancy brain, because that was what happened when you were pregnant: you became forgetful.

  The men closed their eyes at this revelation. How could she have done that, play with Amelia’s feelings like that? Jake was never going to tell his sister what took place, ever.

  “I’m not proud of that, but I had no choice.”

  “Just finish your story, Mother.” Jake felt sick. He got up and poured himself a cup of coffee.

  Mara continued. Her story took ages to tell, but she was finally telling the truth. Jake asked her a bunch of questions when it was clear she wanted to skip some parts that weren’t making sense, then ended up filling in more details. She told them how she’d taken out the words she needed from her recording and changed Jake’s voicemail.

  Mara even went as far as to record the sound of when a call came to an end, all the while praying that Holly would buy it and not wait for Jake to fight back, but Mara had been ninety percent sure that Holly would run and not look back. She’d scheduled a text to send at nine from Jake’s phone, told her visit so that they could talk to Mara, and Holly showed up half an hour later. Everything she told them from this point on corresponded with Holly’s version. When she was done, silence lingered in the air.

  Gus was openly crying. “You told me that my formula didn’t work. I withheld a drug that could have saved so many women, Mara. It could’ve saved Romalia.”

  “I told you to not give up, Gus. I told you that.”

  “It’s not the same!” he yelled. Mara flinched, as did everyone in the room. Mara’s eyes held tears again. Jake didn’t know if they were tears of guilt, tears for what she had done, or tears of fear because she’d gotten caug
ht in her web of lies that had ruined all their lives.

  “To be honest with you, I regret that I gave you that ultimatum. I can’t believe you could have done that to Jake, and it scares me as I don’t know what else you are capable of. I’ll find another place to sleep tonight.”

  “Don’t, please. I did all of it for Jake. I did it so he could have more. To not have to go through the same things we did.”

  His father stopped and turned around.

  “The same things you went through?” Jake hissed. “Mom, I was twenty-seven years old, not twenty-fucking-two. I wanted my baby, and because of you I never got to find out it was twins.”

  “Jake, you were an intern. You know what having a baby would’ve done to you.”

  “No, I don’t. I never got the chance to find out!”

  “You wouldn’t have been where you are now. You are thirty-one and you own seventy percent of a hospital. You know how many thirty-one-year-olds own part of a hospital? None.”

  Jake chuckled sarcastically. “I didn’t want a hospital, I wanted my child and her mother.”

  From the look on Kate’s face, she didn’t like that, not one bit.

  “You were not ready for fatherhood, believe me.”

  Jake laughed again, his eyes wet and sad. “Holly did go on the pill. She was adamant, so I gave her what she asked for.”

  “Don’t you dare lie to me!”

  “I do not lie—that’s solely your department,” he said through clenched teeth. “I just didn’t give her the pill.” He chuckled again. It was then he realized how stupid his plan had been. He just hadn’t wanted to lose her. “You see, it wasn’t Holly who tried to pin me down... it was the other way around, Mother. I wanted the baby.”

  “Jake, what are you saying?”

  “I gave her Amelia’s pills, the fertility drugs.”

  Mara closed her eyes. “Why did you never tell me that?”

  “I told you a dozen times what I wanted. You just decided what you wanted to hear and what not to pay attention to!” he roared. “But no, you had to control everything, and this is the end result. You love it? ’Cause I sure as hell don’t. It hurts inside knowing that I wasn’t by her side. Knowing that I was lying in my bed, not wanting to live my life while she was going through hell. Why didn’t you just let me try to find her? Why? I was so close when you showed up. So close.”

  When Frank gasped, all eyes turned to him.

  “You were there, Jake.”

  “What, when?”

  “We went for coffee while Amelia and Armand were in the hotel with you, remember?” Jake looked at his dad, who squinted at Frank. “You told me what Jake was going through and I felt so bad for what all of you were going through.” He looked at Mara with compassion, compassion she didn’t deserve and then it turned into something Jake had never seen on Uncle Frankie’s face before. It was a mixture of sorrow, disgust, and pity. He couldn’t pinpoint it. “I got that phone call.”

  “That was them?” Gus asked, shock anew on his face.

  Frank nodded.

  “What phone call?” Jake wanted to know.

  “I got an emergency call for premature babies about to be born. I had leave your parents to rush to the hospital.”

  Jake felt nauseated. “You’re telling me I was there the day they were born?” he demanded, to which Frank nodded, burying his face in his hands.

  Jake closed his eyes. He’d been that close.

  “Why didn’t you go to say goodbye to Uncle Frankie at the hospital, Dad?”

  “I wanted to, son, but…”

  “Let me guess, Mom didn’t want you to.”

  “I didn’t know, Jake,” she said.

  “Yes, Mom, you did. You were just scared that I would find her lying in some hospital as you weren’t sure if she was going to keep the babies.”

  A tear rolled down Mara’s cheek. She wiped it off.

  “How did you do it? Live with this lie for five years? Watch me go through hell? How could you do that to me? Make me believe that she’d killed my baby, and now knowing that it was all you? How, Mom?” he screamed.

  “I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid.”

  “Of what?”

  “If she’d kept the baby she could’ve died, and I was afraid she would die, okay? You would’ve never forgiven me for that. I would’ve lost you all. So, yeah, I had to endure your pain, knowing that it was me causing it. You wouldn’t have what you have if you’d kept the baby. You wouldn’t have been one of the best neurologists in the world if she’d stayed, and you wouldn’t have met that wonderful girl over there, and that beautiful child.”

  Beautiful child. Michael. She still didn’t want Jamie. Jake’s gaze broke away from his mother. He looked down at his watch. Five hours had passed, five fucking hours of trying to get the truth out of her.

  Huffing, he said, “I’m ready to answer your question now.” He looked at Mara, not wanting to look in Kate’s direction at all. “Holly has been a doctor at Downsend for the past year. You were wrong about her. She is good at saving people, whether on a physical or an emotional level. She is going to Zürich to learn how to operate in 3D. You are not the only surgeon who knows Somers’s special techniques anymore. He took her under his wing as he owns that free clinic in Seattle. I would’ve become the best neurologist, maybe even better if she’d stayed as I wouldn’t have had to deal with the trauma of her leaving me to have an abortion. I would’ve still had what I now have, and I would’ve had two daughters running around instead of only one. And I would’ve never met this beautiful girl and her boy, who are going to end up hurt.” This time, he did look at Kate, who had tears welling up in her eyes. “That first day I went to that consultation at Downsend, the sixteen-year-old kid?”

  Kate nodded to confirm she was with him and for him to go on.

  “I saw a natural strawberry blonde, and I had to admit, I thought it was a sign to not go through with this marriage as it was approximately about the thirtieth strawberry blonde woman I’d seen in a matter of six months. But, I didn’t go out of my way to introduce myself to this one as I’d done before with the others.”

  Kate closed her eyes, and a tear escaped to roll down her face.

  “Then, later that day, I bumped into her. I saw Holly’s face, which was natural. I’d always seen her face for the first couple of seconds, and then it would change into who it really was, but not this time. It didn’t change; it stayed Holly. Yes, I was angry and yes, I was bowled over, so badly that I thought my heart was going to stop. But this is not the time to pretend anymore.

  “For the past five years, I’ve struggled to breathe, and when I discovered that it was her, I fucking finally drew breath for the first time again.” He looked at his mother. “I tried to stay away from Downsend, but I couldn’t. The first month I wanted to kill her; she did awful things, placed a baby in my arms to sit with. That hurt, but she was the one who was hurting, because I’d never sat with my own babies like that. You took that away from me. I hated her guts after that. Reminded myself every day what she’d done to me, and never once did I ask her what happened because of you. You brainwashed me, because you knew I would’ve discovered the truth if I did ask her what happened. So, after a couple of weeks, the anger subsided. I didn’t give a shit anymore.” He shook his head.

  “Jake, what did you do?” Kate asked.

  “Two months ago, Holly asked me to choose, Kate. I couldn’t put my family through that, so I couldn’t choose her.”

  “Choose, what do you mean choose?”

  “For a doctor, you are really daft sometimes. I had an affair with her, Kate, and I didn’t even feel an inch of guilt. I was the happiest guy ever, and I can tell you that it wasn’t going to stop once we were married. You see, I’d signed a contract with Zürich too, which would have allowed me go there at least once a month, giving us all the free time in the world away from you.” He shook his head. “I’m so sorry, but I can’t marry you.”

  “You can
’t mean that! What about your son?”

  “What about my daughter? Who is my flesh and blood? Michael isn’t.” He hated having to say those words, but he had no choice. He loved that kid, but he loved his family more.

  “Jake, you can’t take this out on Kate, please,” Mara said.

  “Again, you are not listening. Not one of you is listening. I can’t live without Holly, so I won’t. I’m not going to marry you, Kate, so you’d better cancel this wedding, tell them whatever you want to… I don’t care.”

  “You can’t do this. What am I going to tell Michael?” She started to cry.

  “He is two years old. He isn’t even going to remember me.”

  “You are his father, Jake. You are the only one he knows.”

  “And whose fault is that, Kate? Duncan has tried repeatedly to be in his life, but you’ve made it impossible for him. You can still change that.”

  “I don’t want that asshole in my son’s life, I want you.”

  “I can’t. I’m sorry.” !” He turned around and walked past the photos of them, a lie, frames that should’ve been filled with the twins, Holly and him, his real family. He knocked them all off the wall and they cluttered to the floor.

  “Jake, don’t do this. We can work this out, please!” Kate begged, running after him.

  He chuckled as they reached the front door. “Do you hear what you’re saying? I cheated on you.”

  “I don’t care!”

  “Well, I do. I’m not going to marry you, Kate. Not only because I can’t, but because I love Holly, and I want to be with my own family. We can work something out with Michael, but that is it.”

  Mara led a sobbing Kate away, giving her son a murderous look. But by that point, Jake didn’t give a flying fuck anymore. He stormed out of the house and got into his vehicle, then waited for his father and Frank to follow.

  It was past six already. He couldn’t believe that he’d spent an entire day sorting out all this shit. His head hit the back of his seat as a huge weight lifted off his shoulders. He could finally breathe again on his own. He took out his phone and dialed Holly’s number. He closed his eyes as it went over to voicemail. Amelia wouldn’t let her go home. She wouldn’t. She will still be there. She just has to be.