Neveah Box Series (Neveah Box Set Book 5)

by Angie Merriam

  “Oh Shep, I love it! Nothing could be more proper than this! What are we going to tell our parents?” I asked with a look of concern.

  “I love ya, Lilly and nothing can change that. Mom and Dad love you too, and I am sure once they get over us being so young they will be happy too. Your mom too, she just wants you to be happy and she knows you will be with me.” He smiled reassuringly and I smiled back. I had never been so happy in my entire life. We stayed there, on top of that mountain, until near dark when we finally packed up and headed home. He walked me to the front door of my tiny tin can where he kissed me goodnight and disappeared in the darkness of the forest. I could hear his footsteps against the forest floor and the thought of him being close gave me comfort. I turned the door knob and pushed the rickety door open.

  The house was dark, though I could hear noise coming from the back. Must be mom’s radio, I thought. She always forgets to shut if off before heading to work. She would surely be gone by now. I knew she was working the swing shift at the restaurant tonight, covering for a girl who just had a baby. Usually she worked mornings, so we could have dinner together every night. It felt strange being here without her, and my heart kicked up a few notches. I can’t explain why. I just stood inside the doorway staring at the darkness. We lived in the middle of the forest, at least twenty miles from town, and our closest neighbors were Shep’s family. I had no good reason to feel the chill down my spine, yet there it was, and I physically shook.

  “Stop it Lilly, there is nothing to be afraid of, this is your home.” I tried to tell myself as I forced myself to the living room to turn on our little lamp. The light flickered on and much to my relief, there was nothing to see but our plain old furniture. I let out a sigh and ventured to the kitchen to fix myself some food. The music from mom’s room drifted down the hall, reminding me once again I was alone here. “Geez mom, you always forget to turn that thing off, you’re gonna run up a huge power bill.” I was going on and on about the radio as I walked down the hallway to her room with the thought of turning it off and heading back to make some dinner. Something stopped me right outside her door. What was it that stopped me? Was it paranoia, a feeling, or maybe the fact that my mother’s door was closed, which was another habit of hers, never, ever shutting the doors. I turned and ran back down the hall and out the front door screaming for Shep.

  I hoped he would not be too far yet. I began running in the direction he had walked crying hysterically for reasons I had no idea of. All I knew was something was wrong in my house, and I was much too terrified to face it alone. I felt like I had been running forever and started to panic at not finding Shep yet. I stopped. I had to get it together. I could have been running circles for all I knew. I had to calm down, take some deep breaths, figure out what part of the forest I was in and how far from home I had run. The moon shone bright enough to give me light, and I figured I had been running SW instead of SE like I should have. I started to head back the way I came, fully intending on facing my fears and opening her door, with or without Shep. I was being silly I told myself over and over until I believed it. I was at the edge of the trees that lined my property when I saw the light spill out from the trailer. My heart kicked up again, and I audibly told my heart to settle down. There is nothing to be afraid of.

  I felt a hand grab my shoulder, and I let out a horrible scream turning, ready to unleash an ass kicking on whoever was trying to grab me. I just started swinging without looking. I must have closed my eyes because all I heard was my name yelled repeatedly and the words “Stop. It’s me!” Those same arms grabbed my own flailing arms and pulled me close. At that moment, I knew it was Shep, and I was safe. I relaxed slightly crying against his chest.

  “Lilly, look at me! Lilly? What is going on? Are you hurt? Lilly talk to me!” Shep was demanding an answer to my craziness. I looked up at him, a bit dazed and still shaking.

  “I don’t know. Probably nothing is wrong and I am a paranoid crazy person! I got scared, my mom is usually here at night, but tonight she had to work, and the house was dark, she left the radio on and her door was closed.” The words came tumbling out and as I shifted back to reality, my reason for being frightened came back to me. “I was too afraid to open the door Shep! She never closes her door! Never! I think something is wrong!”

  “ShshshSsshh, hush now. Come on Lill, I will go with you and show you everything is ok. You’re safe now. Trust me Lilly, let’s go in.” He put his arm around my waist and gently pulled me closer to the door I left abandoned moments ago. Just before the opening I stopped. “Shep?”

  “Yeah, Lill”

  “Why did you come back?”

  “I heard you scream, I ran back and you were gone! I was going to look for you when I saw you at the edge of the trees.”

  “I’m glad you heard me.”

  “Me too, come on.”

  We walked together up the stairs through the front door and down the hall. I hesitated at the hallway opening but went on with Shep right beside me. He took my hand in his and opened my mother’s door with his other one. The light was on, as was the stupid radio. Nothing else was out of order. I felt a sigh of relief escape my mouth and at that moment felt incredibly lame. I looked up at Shep, red in the face. “I’m sorry I freaked out like that! Call me crazy, I just had the strangest feeling that impending doom lay on the other side of this door.” I made an attempt at smiling but felt it fall away when I looked up at him. “Shep, what’s wrong?” He let go of my hand and lifted an envelope on the nightstand. It was addressed to me and read “URGENT!”

  “What is this?” I asked, which was plainly stupid, like he had any idea.

  “I don’t know Lilly, looks important and it’s to you. Open it.” Shep was gently nudging the letter into my hand. My hands were shaking. What was wrong with me? I just couldn’t shake the feeling the letter held bad news for me. I gently unfolded the piece of paper, hands shaking, moving much slower than needed. I couldn’t help putting off reading the letter if only by a few seconds. There in my mother’s beautiful handwriting I read:

  Dear Lilly May,

  I know you are very confused right now. Please trust me and follow my instructions. In my top dresser drawer is an envelope. In it is a set of keys and an address. In my bottom drawer is another envelope with enough money to last you through your journey. Please come alone! I know Shep is with you now while you read this, but you must listen and make this journey on your own. If Shep loves you like I think he does, he will wait for your return. Many questions lay before you, and you will find your answers. I love you, and will see you again!

  Love,

  Mom

  My mind raced in a million different directions. What was the meaning of this? Why would she just leave me? Why do I have to go to some place I have never been to get answers to questions I never knew I had? I had all but forgotten Shep was in the room. I was inside my own head, in a daze. “Lilly! Lilly! Lill, look at me!” He begged. His voice sounded far away. I felt him grab my arms and pull me close whispering, “I will not let you go alone. I will never let you leave me Lilly, I promise! Lilly, do you hear me?” Shep was holding me close, and I could feel the meaning in his words more than I actually heard them.

  I pushed him away, trying to gather my thoughts. Without a word, I walked to the dresser and opened the top drawer. After moving some things around there it was, the envelope containing a key and an address in Newberg, Oregon. Where the hell was that? Without thinking about it too much I closed the top drawer and squatted down to the bottom one where I quickly found another envelope containing $1,000.00 cash! “Wow!” Was all I muttered. The shock of the past five minutes was beginning to wane, the reality starting to settle. I now knew three things: 1. I had to find this address which apparently held all my life’s answers; 2. I had a large amount of money .to lessen my burden, which says to me I have a long journey ahead of me; 3. I must make this journey alone, without Shep. The third fact, at that moment was most unbearable. I had to lea
ve Shep, my best friend, my soulmate, my fiancé. Yet there he was, watching me so intently not sure if he should move or speak. I spoke first.

  “Shep, oh how I love you, you know this, but I have to go alone. You read the note with me. You know I must go alone. I hate this, but I have no choice.” The words tumbled out as I watched his shocked face.

  “What are you talking about? Of course, you don’t have to go alone. What could be waiting for you in Newberg that would harm us?” He paused, because even as he spoke the words, he knew I would be leaving without him. His eyes filled with tears. “I need you Lilly.” I reached for him, at the same time he reached for me. Neither of us moving or talking, just holding each other and crying.

  After a few minutes we broke away, still holding hands. “Look Shep, this is not the end of us. Why are we standing here blubbering like it’s the last time we will see each other? I just have to go, see what the hell my mother has gotten us into, and come back. It shouldn’t take too long. Besides who says I am leaving tonight or tomorrow for that matter? As far as I can see I have at least a few days before I have to go, a few days to spend with only you.” I smiled up at him, an attempt to make this moment less heart-breaking for us both.

  “Stay here with me Shep, tonight and tomorrow night and hell maybe the next, please?” I pleaded with him. He finally looked up and smiled that smile I loved so much.

  “Of course I will stay Lilly. Let me tell my folks, so they don’t worry. I may be an official adult but I’m not above my mother’s wrath when she gets worried.” He laughed a little, as did I, with the thought of Shep’s mother bringing the hammer down on him. Leah may have been a tall woman, but she was as delicate as a butterfly, except when it came to Shep. She could be fierce when she needed to be.

  I waited for Shep, curled up on the couch, too scared to move a muscle. It only took fifteen minutes before he returned. That was the first night we ever spent together.

  The next morning we woke to the sun shining bright. It felt as if the sun was kissing me awake, telling me to get up, it’s going to be a great day! Yet, in my heart, I knew the sun was just an illusion, and in fact, these next few days would be anything but great. I laid in bed a few minutes before tiptoeing down the hallway in an attempt to not wake Shep.

  Ever the gentleman, he slept on the couch that night, much to my dismay. I watched him sleep for a moment, just long enough to feel my heart break a little more. I quickly headed to the kitchen, not wanting to spoil the sun’s attempt at making this day great. I was standing in the kitchen crying when Shep came up and grabbed me from behind. He whispered, “Don’t cry Strawberry Shortcake, things will be okay.” I turned burying my face in his chest. He stood motionless while I cried. After a few minutes, I pulled away apologizing. I only had a few days with him and was bound and determined to make them as enjoyable as possible, if not for me, then for him. “Want some coffee?” I asked, wiping the tear stains from my face. In true Shep fashion, he didn’t push me to talk. He just simply said, “What do ya think lady?” I laughed a little and turned to make the coffee.

  We ate breakfast and drank coffee in total silence, yet there was a comfort in the words we didn’t speak. We both knew what was coming, and I used this time to process things and made a vow not to cry again in front of him. We spent most of the day trampling through the forest as we always did. Exploring, talking, and laughing. We ended up at the spot where Shep had proposed to me and decided to rest there. After a few moments, without a word he reached over and cupped my face in his hands. Looking into my eyes he said, “Look, Lill, I know you have to go and I have to stay, but you will be back, and I will be here waiting. I will wait for you forever if that’s what it takes. You will be my wife. That much I promise you.” Then he kissed me, slow and gentle, yet with an urgency I had never felt from him. I kissed him back with the same urgency, needing to feel his lips on mine and his arms around me. My entire body melted into his. I slowly moved my hands up his shirt, exploring the muscles on his chest. Within moments, I was pulling his shirt off, carelessly throwing it to the ground. My hands explored him further, first up his chest then down his back until my hand rested on his backside. I pulled him closer and felt his need for me through his jeans. I freed my hands and started to pull off my shirt when Shep stopped me.

  “Wait! Lilly! We can’t do this. Remember, we always wanted to wait for our wedding night. I can’t take advantage of you right now.” With that he stood up, turning away from me. I sat there trying to piece the right words together because I knew I had to be with Shep, completely, before I left him. I stood up and walked to him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

  “Do you have any idea how much I love you? I love that you want to wait. I wanted to wait too, but…” He let out a sigh and I could feel his shoulders drop. “But,” I went on, “there are a few facts you are forgetting. I am leaving the day after tomorrow. I am going to God knows where to do God knows what. I have every intention of returning to you, but I don’t know what I am getting into, or how long I will be gone. You have been mine since we were born. We are already joined in our hearts and spirits. I want to join with you completely before I go. I need you, completely, Shep.” I started feeling myself on the verge of tears again. Shep tightened his hold on my arms, sighing loudly again. He turned to face me, his cheeks tear streaked. He stood there looking in my eyes, tears escaping his, he didn’t try to wipe them away or hide his hurt. Tears sprang from my eyes now. I tried my best to hold them back but failed. We both stood silent, letting our hurt dissolve in tears.

  Shep was the first to finally speak. “Lilly May, my love, my soulmate. I promise to wait for you always. I promise to protect you as much as you will let me and to back away when you ask. I promise to explore these woods with you and to cliff dive one hundred times a day if you ask me. I promise to never make you hunt with me again (he smiled and giggled a little). I promise to support you in all you do. I promise to build a family with you. I promise to love you forever. You are my heart, my soul and my sun. You are my Strawberry Shortcake and I want to be your husband, today, right now, if you will have me.” He squeezed my hand and smiled through the tears. I laughed a nervous laugh while my eyes and nose leaked like faucets. How we must have looked standing there, bawling, sniffling, smiling and giggling. We were absolutely mad and had never been happier, never been more afraid.

  Without wiping my wet face I replied, “Shep, my moon, my stars. You complete me. You are all that is good in my life. You make me laugh and push me to be stronger, independent. You support me in all I do and I love you for that. I promise always to love you. I promise to follow you on all your hair brained adventures even when we are too old to be taking adventures. I promise to grow old and gray with you. I promise to sit in rocking chairs on our front porch watching the sun rise with you. I love you always my Chocolate Muffin and I thank God every day he gave me you.” I took a deep breath before continuing. “I promise to be your wife and take you as my husband, and I promise to try my best to come home to you safely. I will take our vows with me in my heart. They will help guide me home to you.” He bent down kissing me a little harder than before and with a new urgency.

  We made vows that day. We married each other that day. We didn’t need a piece of paper or a priest. We were right where we needed to be, on top of that mountain, on our private piece of earth. We lay together, exploring and loving each other. When he first joined with me, the pain screamed through my loins, but was slowly replaced by pleasure and passion. I could feel and almost see the electricity radiating off our bodies. I was joined with him, my soulmate, in every way imaginable. I made a silent vow to come back to him at all costs. We dressed near dark and made our way back down the mountain to my trailer. We immediately picked up where we had left off on top of that mountain. We slept in the same bed that night, entangled in each other, smelling of love and nature.

  I woke the next morning to Shep’s hunger pangs growling in my ear. I lifted my head off his bell
y, looking up to see if he was awake. I met his eyes, and grinning I asked, “A little hungry are we?” I moved slowly up to lay facing him. We were both naked. Our hair was a mess, with tears stains and dirt on our faces. I thought I would feel embarrassed to be this vulnerable, but I didn’t. Being here with Shep, in our disheveled state was exactly where I needed to be. I had never been happier and more secure in my life.

  “Come on champ, get up I will make you some breakfast.” I pushed off him, fully intending to get out of bed but he pulled me back, kissing my neck, moaning ever so softly. He was an animal and I loved it. “Again Shep? I really need a shower, we are both a mess and you baby are hungry! Get up.” But he just held on tighter, nibbling my neck now, moaning a little louder. My protests were ignored and I knew there was no point. I wanted him too. We made love again, before I finally rolled out of bed making my way to the shower. Shep stayed in bed. “I can’t move right now Lill,” he said laughing. “Besides, my view from here is much too beautiful to even think about moving.” I knew he was looking at my backside as I stood there digging through my drawers trying to find some clothes. I turned to him. “Well, I hope you enjoyed the view, because I am off to shower and eat.” With that I left the room with Shep laying there wanting more.

  It was in the shower that he got more. We washed together and dressed together and made our way to the kitchen. Shep ate his breakfast while I made a list. The rest of the day Shep helped me pack my things. We drove into town to pick up the few things on my list and argued about my need to take a gun. I refused and he bought me mace as a compromise. We loaded up my truck that evening. I wasn’t planning to be gone long, so the loading didn’t take long. That night we ate dinner on my patio and curled up on the couch to watch a movie. We were both exhausted from the day’s activities as well as the night before and fell asleep half way through the movie.