Neveah Box Series (Neveah Box Set Book 5)

by Angie Merriam

  My grandparents led me to the chamber and then graciously left me alone. I was beyond thankful for that. We had not spoken much since my awakening. I had yet to tell them about my little predicament. I couldn’t find the right words to tell them I was pregnant. Not yet. I had to believe it first. I would deal with telling them about my pregnancy after I had my time to be alone with my parents. I needed my time to say goodbye to them before I dealt with the current situation. That time was now.

  Though I knew the woman lying in the glass tomb was not truly my mom, so to say, I still felt an overwhelming need to tell her about my pregnancy before I told anyone else. It was irrational, I know, but at that point, my entire life was irrational to me. I felt abandoned in a strange land. My parents were gone forever and Shep, my husband and soul mate, had walked away from me. Leaving me confused, alone, and pregnant. I was living a nightmare, with the exception of my unborn child. I should have been terrified to have a baby, but that was the only thing that gave me hope in such a dark time.

  I ventured around the chamber, looking for the entrance. It was difficult to find as the glass door was camouflaged by the glass walls. I took my time, though. I could see my parents lying in there, beautiful and still. I was slightly afraid to go in. I strolled slowly around the chamber, trying to calm my nerves before entering my parents’ resting place. The chamber was encompassed by towering white trees that produced thick red flowers. The same red flowers were sprinkled on the floor inside. My parents’ beds were covered in pink and white petals. Their tomb was magnificent, which I thought was fitting. To me, my mother and father were magnificent in life, and deserved to be presented as such in death.

  Once I found the door, I took a few deep breaths before slowly opening it. The room smelled strongly of flowers and warmth. The chamber was small, with only enough room for the platforms that held my parents and a small walkway. I stood by the door, willing myself to move forward. My mother looked angelic. She was dressed in a white gown, and her blonde hair was brushed to fall over her shoulders. Her skin was pale, but her lips were pink. She rested with one hand to her side, and the other in my father’s hand.

  My father was angelic as well. He was also dressed in white and neatly groomed for viewing. Looking at his face was almost like looking in a mirror. It was strange to see another human that looked so much like me. I felt a stab in my heart at only having been able to know him a short amount of time. I felt a small twinge of guilt having not felt the same stabbing loss I felt about my mother, but I missed him nonetheless.

  I felt my heart break in two as I looked at my angel-like mother. Thoughts began to swim in my head. I had no idea what to do without her. I inched my way closer, until I was close enough to touch her hand. I reached out and took it in mine. The feel of her flesh sent a wave a grief through my body, and I began to tremble. The tears I had tried not to cry were now flowing freely, and I impulsively laid my head upon her chest. I didn’t feel a heartbeat. I knew I wouldn’t, but I could feel her. I lay there, sobbing and begging for her to come back. I knew I was asking the impossible, but the reality of losing her was almost too much to bear.

  I don’t know how long I held on to my mother, but I didn’t intend on moving, until I felt a light touch on my shoulder. Whoever was behind me stood still and silent. I assumed my intruder was waiting for me to gather myself before turning to face them. I felt slighted at being interrupted. I didn’t want to speak to anyone, or face anyone. I just wanted my mother. I finally stood to face my intruder and was shocked when I realized their identity.

  I couldn’t speak, as my mouth was hanging open. My heart was racing, and I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. She looked the same and was in the same white gown she wore on the table, only she was standing in front of me. “Mom,” I said quietly, unsure if I was imagining the entire scene. I reached my hand up to touch her face. It was cold and soft, yet solid. She smiled at me, a tear in her own eye. I fell into her arms where she held me while I cried.

  She finally broke her grip and pulled me away just enough to see my face, and so I could see hers. “Oh, Lilly, my baby girl, things have gone so wrong. I am so sorry for all that has happened. I always tried to protect you and I have failed,” she said. Her face was full of sadness and guilt.

  “No, Mom, you’re here with me now. It’s going to be all right,” I replied, trying to force a smile. I knew as I spoke the words that all would not be all right, yet I wanted to believe it, if only for a moment.

  My mother shook her head, trying to find the words to speak. “You are right, baby girl. You will be okay, but I can only stay a short while. I have been waiting here for you, but I have to go soon. I am expected in the Otherworld. I just couldn’t pass through without seeing you. I had to see my baby girl. Come with me, Lilly.” She grabbed my hand and led me to a corner of the chamber where she promptly sat on the floor and encouraged me to sit beside her.

  With my mother sitting there on the floor, I laid my head in her lap and relaxed as she ran her fingers through my hair. “How much time do we have?” I asked.

  “Not long,” she replied.

  “Where is Dad?” I was suddenly curious.

  “Only one of us was able to return. He thought it should be me,” she answered.

  “Are happy to be with him again?”

  “Yes, Lilly, very happy. Although, I would rather be here with you.”

  “Yeah, me too. What am I supposed to do now, Mom?” I felt my tears threatening reappearance, but I willed them away.

  “You are a very smart, independent woman. You will find your way and you will be just fine without me.” She spoke with conviction that begged me to believe her.

  “I’m scared, Mom. You’re gone, Dad is gone, and so is Shep.”

  “I know, baby girl, I have been watching you. I saw the entire thing unfold. He loves you, though. He left to protect you from Kelsha.”

  “I know he loves me, but what am I supposed to do? Wait in Neveah for him? I want to go home, Mom. This is not my home. This place only hurts.”

  “I can’t tell you what to do next, Lilly. You will find a path that is right for you, with or without Shep. I can’t tell you what will happen in the future. I know if he truly loves you he will find you, here or back in the Ordinary World. Whether or not you choose to wait for him is your choice. No one would hold it against you if you wanted to go back.” Her soft voice was soothing and gave me the strength that my soul was craving. I felt a strong desire to go home, but I was so confused. Her encouragement confirmed my own desire to leave Neveah and made me feel okay about it.

  “I’m pregnant.” I hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that, the words just came. I waited for my mother’s response and wondered if she would change her mind and tell me to stay in Neveah.

  “I know. I have known since we were reunited at the Giant’s home. Your father knew as well. I think Shep did too.” I heard the sadness in her voice and felt another stab in my heart when I realized my child would never know my mother. I pushed that part of my hurt away. Once it was tucked away deep inside of me, I focused on her words. They knew, all of them. Shep knew?

  “What? Shep knew before I did? How?” I felt a flash of anger, but squashed it. Nothing would ruin the short time I had with my mother.

  “A woman with child emits a different kind of glow, Lilly, especially a Special who is home in Neveah. It’s almost impossible to miss.” Her sadness was replaced with a faint touch of happiness. My mother was happy for me.

  “But, Mom, I can’t be very far along! A month at the most! How am I able to feel it already? How can everyone else see it?” I asked astonished.

  “Things are different here in Neveah, as you already know. Time may feel slower here, but pregnancy is different. It progresses more quickly. If you wish to return to the Ordinary World, you have to do it soon before you’re much further along. It will be dangerous for you if you don’t go soon, and very dangerous for a baby.” I considered my mother’s words. I
would need to make a choice, and soon. I decided not to think about it now. For now, I just wanted my mother.

  We sat in soothing silence before my mother spoke again.

  “Please forgive me, Lilly, for putting you through this. Please know how much I love you! Don’t mourn for me or your father. We will always be watching you.”

  I could feel her solidness giving way and sat up, trying to stop her disappearance.

  “No, Mom, wait, you can’t go yet. I need you! I love you, Mom, and I don’t blame you for any of this. You have always been wonderful to me and I will miss you so much!” My words were coming fast, and the tears were once again flowing. I was standing, as was my mother, who was nearly transparent now. She grabbed my face with her hands, which were light as air, and kissed my forehead.

  “Goodbye, Lilly. Be strong, be brave, and never forget how much I love you.”

  “I love you too, Mom, goodbye,” I said, and then she was gone. I glanced back at the platform that still held my parents. I walked over and kissed my father on the cheek and then my mother before saying a final goodbye and leaving them to rest.

  Although my heart was slightly lighter, I still felt the need to be alone. I decided to walk awhile, and try to make sense out of the senseless. I felt content knowing my parents were together and happy in some other world. Though I would miss them with all my heart, I was no longer sad. With the weight of my parents’ death lifted from my heart, Shep’s desertion settled in, and agony bore a hole through the wound that my mother had just healed.

  I replayed the events over and over in my mind, trying to find what tore him from me. Things had happened so fast that the details were a blur. I decided there was no point rehashing what had happened. It wouldn’t change anything. I needed to make a choice, and I had to make it now. I could stay in Neveah, have the baby, and then figure out what Kelsha was up to. I could stand against her in an attempt to get Shep back. The option was tempting, but I had more than just my broken heart to consider. Did I really want to have my baby in Neveah? The world was wonderful, and my family there was amazing, but it was not my home. My home was with the Ordinaries. My mother was right, Shep knew where to find me. With my decision made, I headed back to the house. I wanted to go home as soon as possible.

  I made it to the house rather quickly and found my grandmother sitting alone in the great room. “Hello, Meme,” I said softly.

  She looked over at me with a smile. “Hello, Lilly, how are you, dear?”

  “I feel a little better now actually, having been able to say a proper goodbye. Thank you for that,” I replied, trying to smile, but failing.

  “Of course, that was your right, Lilly.” She looked at me as though willing me to speak what was in my mind and my heart. I knew I couldn’t just leave Neveah without a word. It would break her heart, as well as my grandfather’s. They had suffered enough loss.

  “I am sure you know that I am with child. I am also sure that Uncle Denali told you what happened on that mountain. Shep is gone.” I choked back a sob after saying Shep’s name out loud.

  “Yes, I am aware of both. I am very sorry for everything, Lilly. We put you and Shep in a terrible position and now things are just a mess.” She was openly crying now. I failed to notice the redness that was taking residence on her face, and the puffiness that was causing her eyes to appear nearly closed. I went to her and wrapped my arms firmly around her neck. Instinctively, her arms closed around my waist, pulling me into her lap, where we sat, embraced and mourning all that was lost to us both.

  “It’s not your fault, Meme. It was not my mother’s fault, and it’s not Shep’s fault. I made my choice to come to Neveah and I chose to find my mother and to fight Jax. He is gone now, so the threat to Neveah is gone. Please don’t be sorry, there is nothing to be sorry about. We all did our best!” I finished, hoping my words were heard. I stood slowly and she finally looked up.

  “You will always have a home here, should that be your choice,” she said to me. Her tone indicated she knew I was planning to leave.

  “I know, and I thank you with all my heart, but my home is with the Ordinaries. That is where I need to be right now.” I watched her as she slowly stood and came to stand in front of me.

  “Well, maybe someday, when the child is old enough, you can come to visit.” She was attempting to smile in order to comfort me, and her voice was laced with hope.

  “I would love to. Who knows, I may get there and realize I belong here. You never know what the future holds,” I replied, smiling back at her. This time my smile was genuine. I kissed her on the cheek before leaving her standing alone. I didn't ask her to see me to the portal room. I knew it would have made my leaving all the more difficult.

  I went back to my room where I removed my mother’s clothing and replaced it with my jeans and Bon Jovi T-shirt. I packed what I had left in my backpack before I went to find my grandfather to say goodbye. I found him in the garden with Denali and Vivianna. If any of them were surprised to hear of my departure, they didn't show it. I wondered if my meme told them, or if I was just that easy to read.

  Hugs, kisses, and words of encouragement and love were exchanged before I told them it was time for me to go. Denali wanted to escort me to the portal room, which I found endearing and a little strange at the same time. I didn’t argue, though, I just followed him.

  It wasn’t until we reached the room with the drawings that Denali finally spoke. “I know you have to go. I understand why, but please know you have a home and family here.”

  “I know and thank you for all you have done for me.”

  “I keep thinking I should have done something differently, maybe things wouldn’t have ended this way.”

  “It was nothing you did Denali. You tried just as I tried and everyone else for that matter. We can’t keep blaming ourselves for what happened. It happened and now we must move on.”

  “I want you to know that I am going to look for him, Lilly. I am going to find out what happened back there. I will stop Kelsha if I must. I will try my best to send Shep home to you.”

  His blue eyes were glossy and full of determination as he spoke to me. I hadn’t expected him to look for Shep, but was grateful and relieved that he was.

  “Thank you, Denali. Be safe, please! I love you.”

  “Yes, I love you too, Lilly. You remind me so much of your mother, my sister. Please take care of yourself and that baby.” His cheeks were flushed, and his voice was strained. I knew this was not easy for my tough uncle Denali. I understood why he insisted on coming with me. He needed to say goodbye. I was glad he did. I kissed him on the cheek before turning to the fake wall and pushing it aside. As I stepped inside the room, I looked back at Denali. “You can always come see me in the Ordinary World, you know.”

  “Yeah, well, I just might do that. Goodbye, Lilly.”

  “Goodbye, Denali.”

  ~Chapter Two~

  Shep followed Kelsha, obediently, and unaware of their destination. He was slightly shocked when he realized where she was leading him. They were going back to Jax’s compound. The thought of going back to that hell hole made Shep nauseous, but he followed her, no questions. He had yet to question her. He had to tread carefully and figure out her motive. Where Jax had been sloppy and brash to get what he wanted, Kelsha was methodic and elaborate. It didn’t take Shep long to figure that out. She so easily fooled him. Her cleverness led him away from Lilly. He had been so stupid. He so badly wanted to believe she was good, not like Jax. He now saw his screw-up and was paying dearly for his stupidity.

  The first half of the ride, Shep spent thinking of Lilly and how to escape Kelsha to get back to her. He had come to realize he could not just simply escape. He would have to play her game and figure out what she was after. He would have to stop her, or Neveah would never be at peace. He could never be at peace with Lilly. Shep was well aware that his carelessness caused her parents’ deaths. Had he watched Kelsha more closely, not trusted her so easily, they m
ay still be alive. The guilt ate at Shep and pushed him to put an end to this once and for all.

  Memories of Lilly flashed through his mind, playing like a movie, over and over. He saw her as a child, happy and carefree. He saw her as the woman he loved, strong but loving. He saw her as the woman she became in Neveah, brave but terrified. He saw her as the woman he walked away from. It was this woman who continued to torture his mind. This Lilly was crushed, confused, furious, brokenhearted and pregnant. He’d seen it while she stood begging for him to stay. He’d seen the glow. Shep wasn’t sure how he knew, but he did. She was carrying his child. Their child and through her tears and anger, she glowed. She was radiant. She was his, and he would fight to make it back to her. He would right his wrongs so they could be happy. Shep forced his thoughts to the present time when he noticed Kelsha’s horse stop outside of the compound. Here we go, bring it on. He thought hard enough and loud enough for his aunt to hear him.

  Kelsha had yet to speak to Shep. She let him wallow in his remorse the entire ride back. She had great plans for Shep. His eagerness to believe and trust in her proved fatal for Annie and James, but would be very useful to her. He was weak and easily manipulated. Most men are. She thought to herself. She was truly sad knowing Jax was dead. She really had been fond of him. She didn’t want her child born a bastard, but what was done was done.

  Kelsha was pleasantly surprised when Shep killed his own father without a second thought, all to protect her. She wasn’t sure Shep had it in him, but clearly, there was a monster lurking deep inside that soft interior. A monster, that nurtured correctly, could be a fearful protector. Yes, she had great plans for Shep, but first she knew she must get herself organized. In order to do that she would need Shep safely out of the way. She smiled at him when they arrived at the compound. She did it to let him know that she heard him. Challenge accepted. She thought before swinging off of her horse.