The silence was killing him. He found himself pacing the room, a million thoughts racing through his head, none of them making any sense. “Please, Fionna. If you know anything about my past, please, you have to tell me. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you! You have been amazing and I love you dearly, but I can’t deny the fact that I am in love with a woman I know nothing about. I yearn for her. I ache for her. I see her in my dreams. I see her every waking thought. I am pulled to her, but know nothing of her. Please, Fionna, tell me,” he was begging her now, his eyes threatening him with moisture.
He sat on the bed, frustrated and confused. Fionna came to sit next to him and reached for his hand. He was quick to pull back, but she was faster. “Don’t worry, Shep, I won’t alter your feelings, not anymore,” she promised, and he relaxed slightly. “Look, Shep, you have been an amazing husband, and an even better man. You have come to mean a lot to me, so I am going to be honest with you, even though I know it will lead you away from me,” she said softly.
Shep was shocked by her admission. He expected her to lie to him as Kelsha had done. His voice was calm and even, as he asked her to continue. He felt a tiny weight lift when she obliged.
“Kelsha came here to the compound claiming Jax was dead and that she was running the house now. She told us you did it, but you would be a great asset to us. She got Heren to erase your memories and I was chosen to ‘be your wife.’ I have the ability to alter feelings and made you love me. It was a false love, though. I knew that all along. I don’t know everything about your past, though.
“Jax found me years ago. I was alone and broken. He brought me here and he made me a slave to him. Jax was a very cruel man that I feared greatly, but I stayed, because I had no other place to go. When Kelsha slid into Jax’s role, she was more convincing and seemed kinder than Jax. There were only a few of us left, and we chose to stay on with her,” she explained, pausing for a breath before continuing.
“I agreed to be your wife, but I know now it was wrong. You are clearly connected to Lilly. I can’t compete with that. I would like to be your friend, though, Shep, and I will help you with anything, just ask me.” She finished her story, relieved to have all of it out in the open. No secrets. Shep was glad Fionna had been honest with him. He was still missing a large piece of the puzzle. He still didn’t know what Kelsha's motives were. He still knew nothing of his past except he was connected to Lilly.
“Thank you for your honesty, Fionna. I would be honored to call you my friend. I think I must forge ahead on my own, but I appreciate your offer of help.” Shep was standing, ready to leave when he thought of a way she could help. “Fionna,” he said.
“Yeah Shep?”
“I think I know how you can help.”
“Anything, just ask me.”
“I don’t want Kelsha to know anything. I can’t explain it, but I think she is truly dangerous. I fear she may be angry with you if she knows what you have told me. Let's keep this between us. Do what you must just don't let her know you helped me in any way. Please don't tell her I have gone back to the Ordinary World.”
“You are going back?” she asked, though she was not surprised. Of course he would go back. Lilly was there, and she was the only one that could break down Shep's wall.
“I have to,” he replied simply. She had agreed to help him, and she would stay true to her word.
“Of course, what should I tell her about your absence?”
Shep had to think about that for a moment. He was pacing the room again, racking his brain. He had to think of something she would believe. “Uhhh, just tell her I have gone hunting. Tell her I received word that the game was good on the other side of the Northern Mountain. That should give me a few days, I think.”
“Okay, Shep, just do one thing for me, please?”
“What do you need, Fionna?”
“Be safe, stay alive, and kiss me, one last time.”
Her eyes were glossy and Shep could see she was trying to be strong. His heart was breaking seeing her in pain. “Oh, Fionna, you are so beautiful. I do love you and I am so sorry you had to be involved in this. There will always be a part of my heart where you will be.” He took her face in his hands and kissed her cheeks, tasting her tears. He felt his own begin to spill as he kissed her slowly and lovingly. He pulled away whispering, “I will be safe, and you do the same. Be careful of Kelsha, I don’t know her like I thought I did. She is dangerous,” he warned before leaving her alone in their bedroom.
Shep hurried out of the compound, away from Kelsha and her lies. He was racing to find his past so he could plan his future.
~Chapter Twenty~
Kelsha knew as Shep walked away from her that his memory was returning. He was lost to her. She contemplated having Heren build the wall thicker, stronger, but decided against it. He served his purpose nicely, and although she had grown fond of him, the truth was that she didn’t need him anymore. He had superbly trained an army for her. An army that would stand for her, would stand beside her, and fight when she moved to overtake the Levannahs. She had her child now. She had Heren, and she had her people. Shep was extra baggage.
She was aware, however, that precious little Lilly would eventually come looking for the child. Kelsha would be ready to fight. She had been thinking of moving her little colony away from the compound and decided there was no better time than the present. Jax’s compound had always struck her as dark and dreary, but had housed her people nicely. It was time to move on, though. Shep would eventually gain all his memory and would come looking for her as well.
She laughed out loud when she thought what his reaction would be when he realized he had kidnapped his own child. Not only had he kidnapped his own child, but willingly handed him to her. She imagined the look on his face and found it humorous. He would come for the child, Kelsha knew. What she didn’t know was how much time she had before he came back. She didn't know how long she had before his memory came crashing, though. She knew his memory was leaking through, but he was still confused.
It was safer to move before the real Shep returned. He knew the land around the compound too well and could access her and the child easily. On the other hand, taken out of his element, fighting soldiers he trained, he didn’t stand a chance. She knew where she would move her colony. She had worked at the place for years, waiting for the day it would be useful to her. The time had come, and she couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement.
Not only was it more than capable of housing her people, it was far out of Shep's element, far out of most of Neveah's element. She would be safe there. She would be untouchable.
The child was sleeping nicely in her arms when she went to fetch Heren and Fionna. She found Fionna first, a bag in her hand, ready to run. “Where do you think you’re going, Fionna?” Kelsha asked, her tone more accusing than intended. She knew she frightened the young girl and relished in the fact, but Shep was no longer there to keep the girl grounded. She would need to tread lightly now, be aware of the girl’s feelings. Fionna’s power to alter feelings would be beneficial to Kelsha, and she intended to keep Fionna with her.
Fionna stopped, her heart racing, and turned to face Kelsha. She had hoped to leave without notice. She had no intention of staying with Kelsha and fighting this war with her. She hadn't even told her sister Maura of her plans to flee. Maura was happy with Danu and would never understand Fionna’s betrayal. Her sister relished in the dark side. Fionna did not, and she would no longer be stuck in the dark.
After Shep left her, she carefully thought about her choices. Remembering Shep’s eyes light up when he thought of Lilly, seeing the good deep inside of him, and knowing he was not the soldier Kelsha had molded him into spoke a thousand words to Fionna. She believed Kelsha when she said Shep was dangerous, but an asset to them, provided they mold him into a soldier. Kelsha told her Shep was a killer who was not to be trusted. Fionna felt foolish for trusting Kelsha so easily. They all had. She was just so damn charming. Now Fionn
a knew Kelsha may be charming, but she was also sadistic and Fionna wanted no part in her war.
Fionna spent many nights listening to Shep talk in his sleep. He would dream of Lilly, of his mother, of his life before Kelsha. He had held her in his arms and made love to her. She knew, beyond a doubt, that Shep was good. She had promised Shep that she would be careful with Kelsha. Promised she would stay safe. Shep was gone, most likely for good, and Fionna wanted the hell out of that compound. She would try a different tactic with Kelsha.
“Shep has left, Kelsha,” she said simply.
“Yes, I am aware. His wall is crumbling down, making him dangerous to us,” Kelsha warned. Fionna knew Shep’s wall was breaking down. She also knew he was only dangerous to Kelsha. Fionna felt bile rise in her throat as Kelsha spoke of Fionna as one with her. Fionna had no intention of staying with the wretched woman. She had to think of a way out without Kelsha thinking of her as a traitor. Fionna pulled from deep inside and managed to cause her eyes to mist over, forced her body to shake, and her voice to strain.
“He left me for her! I foolishly believed that he would stay with me, even with his memories returning. I truly believed he had grown to love me, Kelsha,” she said and almost believed herself.
“You really loved him?” Kelsha asked in disbelief.
“Yes, I didn’t mean to love him, but yes I did, I do,” she replied, focusing her eyes on the ground. She heard Kelsha let out a sigh. It was working.
“I have to go, Kelsha. I can’t stay here. He is everywhere here and it just hurts too much. You understand, don’t you?”
“Of course I understand, but you don’t have to leave me. The entire colony is moving,” she proclaimed. Fionna was shocked to hear this and looked up at Kelsha who was swaying back and forth, trying to soothe the baby, who was now whimpering slightly.
“Why are you moving everyone and where?” she asked, the shock clear in her voice. Kelsha giggled a little, causing her to sound mad, her eyes danced as she began to tell Fionna her little secret.
“Well, you see, dear Fionna, this child I hold is the child of Lilly and Shep. Surely you knew that.” Fionna had to sit as the reality set in. Of course, this was Shep’s child. She knew he went to kidnap Lilly’s child to give to Kelsha. She knew all too well that Lilly and Shep were destined to be together. She felt so stupid. How had she not put it together? She had been so put off when he began remembering. Her vanity blinded her to reality. When he confessed his feelings for Lilly to her, and she told him all she knew of the truth, the child never entered her mind.
This changed things for Fionna. She had chosen Shep when she told him the truth. She had planned to leave, to disappear into Neveah. How could she now? She couldn’t leave Shep’s child with this madwoman. She didn’t know what she could do beyond looking after the child’s safety, but she knew she couldn’t leave. Damn it, why are things so difficult? She thought.
“Where will we be moving to, Kelsha?” she asked through her fake tears. She wiped her nose and dried her eyes.
“Ahh, that a girl. You had me worried there for a moment, Fionna.”
“I apologize. I was deep in my own grief and didn’t realize little James was Shep’s,” she said obediently. Had Kelsha been a smart woman, she would have listened to Fionna’s unspoken thoughts, they would have told her all she needed to know. Fionna was relieved that Kelsha trusted her blindly.
“Was, is the key word here, Fionna. James belongs to me now, please don’t forget that.”
“Of course. Why exactly are we moving, though?”
“Well, once Shep remembers his life, he will realize he stole his own child and he will be back. Lilly will be in Neveah soon, I’m sure, if she’s not already. Together they are very powerful. Shep has the advantage here. He knows the land. He knows the layout of the compound. We need time to prepare, and we need to have the advantage of demographics on our side. This has the potential of becoming a great war, Fionna, a war Neveah has never seen, a war we could win if executed properly,” she finished, the baby quiet again.
Fionna wanted no part in a war, but knew she was in too deep now. She would stay on with Kelsha. She would try to fight her from the inside. She didn’t know how yet, but she hoped she would figure out her role soon.
“Do the people know we are moving?”
“No, I will announce it tonight.”
“Are you sure they will be willing to move?”
“Of course, my people are very loyal to me. This will not be the first time we have moved.”
“You haven’t told me where we are moving to.”
“Ahhh, it is a spectacular place, really. We will be safe there until we are ready to face Neveah. The name is Ellurah Island just off the northern tip of Neveah. I have a home there that I have spent the last eighteen years stocking with necessities. The island is rather cold and is covered in snow most of the seasons. Many believe it to be inhabitable, but I have prepared and the island is ready for all of us.”
“How long will it take for us to make it there? Many of the Specials will be traveling by foot, how will they cross over to the island?”
“I have a water ally that resides in the Lake Dreyden. She is a large beast and will easily carry our colony in just a few trips. You will travel with Heren, baby James, and myself aboard dragon Lucy and the Pegasus. There are many other creatures that can carry the Specials many at a time. No one should have to travel by foot.”
“What about the homes they have built here, Kelsha? How big is this place you have there?”
“It is at least ten times larger than this compound, Fionna. It will easily house all of the Specials and beasts. I don’t plan to live there forever, though, it is a temporary refuge where we can gather safely and plan our strategy.”
Fionna was uncomfortable with the plan, but had no choice. She would travel to Ellurah with Kelsha. She stood by her that night, with Heren flanking her right side and the baby in her arms, as she announced to the Specials and the Beasts of Jax’s compound that they would be moving on.
“Danger is upon us, my people. Shep, our mighty warrior, has betrayed us. He has joined sides with the Levannah house. It is time for us to move on. I have a place that will house us all in comfort and safety while we finish our plans to run Neveah,” Kelsha proclaimed and Fionna was shocked to hear the cheers and whoops and whoos shouted by the people. Not one of them questioned her. All of them eager to tear down and move on a moment’s notice. The roots that had been planted at the compound so easily ripped up and pushed on. It was disturbing to watch them follow her so obediently as she stood relishing the attention. Shep was correct when he warned Fionna to be careful of Kelsha. Fionna feared Kelsha was far from done with Shep and made a silent promise to herself to stop Kelsha.
~Chapter Twenty-One~
The flight to the compound seemed to take an eternity. It was comforting having Leah with me and every few minutes she would glance back at me, flashing me her reassuring smile. I tried to concentrate on the passing scenery. I had forgotten the serene beauty of Neveah. The view from the Dragon was mesmerizing. Trees nearly reached the sky and were varying colors of green, blue, orange, and red. Vegetation was thick and lush in every area of Neveah, and wildflowers grew in every color. The variety of colors made the land appear as a patchwork quilt using every color of the rainbow.
I tried to take in the wonder of the land, tried to relax my heart and mind, but failed at every attempt. I was, in fact, terrified. Thoughts of a great fight sprung through my mind. There were only three of us, and we knew Kelsha had many followers who stayed around and in the compound. We knew she had Shep. I worried I would have to fight him for our child. I dreaded having to fight him, hurt him, or kill him, but was readily prepared to do so, should he pose a threat to me getting my child back.
The air was growing crisper, which told me we were getting closer to the compound. It was situated at the base of the Northern Mountain where it was much colder and snow covered the ground. Th
e colorful trees gradually lost their color until finally, they all stood in a matching bright white. The sky was black behind the white twinkling stars that lit our way. The white landscape reflected off the stars, giving the appearance of light. I could see the ground clearly and felt uneasy by the stillness of the forest. I expected to see stirs of life the closer we came, but only a calm, desolate land lay beneath us.
We landed a fair distance from the compound, and prepared to walk in. Leah, having been here recently, led the way. It was hard to walk quietly in the crunchy snow, and I thought it was unlikely we would arrive unseen. We walked a good distance when we broke the edge of the trees to see Jax’s compound standing amongst the towering trees. There were no structures around the compound, no tents, no log homes, and no sign of life. The compound stood dark against the stark white ground. There was a fresh layer of snow, and ours were the first set of tracks.
“Where is everyone?” I asked to no one in particular.
“I don’t know,” replied Leah as she picked up her pace.
We reached the compound doors and found them unlocked. Denali was quick to pull out a flare to light our way. We searched the compound room by room and found nothing. I was beginning to panic as I realized she was gone, and so was my child. We were too late.
“Where are they, Leah? They were supposed to be here!” I cried and felt the blood slowly crawl to the surface of my skin. I felt flushed and red and furious. How did Kelsha move an entire village in such a small amount of time? Where the hell had they gone? Leah didn’t speak for a while, shock clearly written on her face. Denali had taken off to search the compound for clues.
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