“How long has he been gone?”
“A few days, Neveah time, he will return soon.”
“Come on.” Leah urged as they approached the compound. The only people out were the ones in training, and they were too drawn in by the hybrid to notice Leah and Shea. The two women snuck into the compound, and led by Shea's connection to her sister, they made their way to her hideout in the attic. Leah was lifting Alana into her arms when they heard footsteps approaching the attic door.
“Who knows you are here?” Leah asked in hushed tones.
“Only Kelsha, that I know of, those are not her footsteps. We are trapped in here,” Alana said with worry deep in her voice.
“Oh, we are not trapped, come on,” Leah demanded and began frantically trying to find a way out. She spotted a small window on the far side of the attic. “Follow me,” Leah said and both Shea and Alana obeyed. They made it to the window that hovered high above the ground. Leah quickly flung it open and stuck two fingers in her mouth, emitting a high pitched whistle.
The dragon Josiah was hovering outside the window within seconds. Leah quickly lifted the small sister up and out the window to rest on the back of Josiah. Leah's foot was barely out the window when the attic door opened.
When the owner of the footsteps entered the attic, they were safely aboard Josiah, flying back to The Dark Forest.
When they landed, Leah quickly grabbed Alana and Shea and carried them deep inside her tree trunk. She found a safe place for the Fey to hide. She didn’t think Kelsha knew she was alive, but she couldn’t be safe enough. She had to leave them alone and couldn’t risk them being found. Both women were afraid and trembling when she left them, and flew away, bound for the Levannahs manor.
~Chapter Eighteen~
I awoke that morning with a sense of uneasy fulfillment. I knew I had dreamt Shep being there and making love to me, yet it had been so real. I clung to the edge of sleep until my body forced itself awake. I turned in bed and ran my hand across the place where Shep had laid. I felt the sob creeping into my throat and cinched the blankets around me and cried. I hadn’t dreamt of Shep in so long, and hadn’t cried for him even longer, but the dream brought him back to me like a tidal wave. I had done so well making a life without him. He was always there, of course, in the back of my mind, but I pushed through the pain and built a life for me and little James. Now I felt my resolve break and the wall I had built to conceal my pain was tumbling down around me as I lay in my bed sobbing.
I don’t know how long I lay there, but when I finally pulled myself together to check the clock, I was shocked to see it was eight in the morning. I had yet to hear a peep from James, which was odd, I thought. He usually woke for a feeding at six. The feeling of unease washed over me as I flew out of bed and ran down the hall. The door stood open as usual, but the silence that flooded out was unnerving. I walked in slowly, knowing before I saw it, that his crib would be empty.
The emotions I felt came in waves: panic, worry, anger, and guilt. The guilt crept right up on me as I realized that while I was dreaming of Shep, someone was in my house taking my baby. I searched the nursery for clues but found none. They had taken a few of his clothes and his blanket, but the rest was untouched. I searched the entire second floor, but found nothing. I made my way down the stairs where the house appeared the same as I had left it the night before. No sign of forced entry, the doors were all locked, and the windows were closed. I went outside and searched the grounds for a sign of my child—nothing. My heart was racing, and my mind was swimming. I ran back in the house, and something in the sitting room stopped me.
I went in, searching for something that pulled me. I was turning the room inside out when I finally realized what was missing. On the side table, where I kept the framed pictures, I saw one was missing. It was the picture of Shep and me. My stomach was twisting and turning, and my breath was coming faster and faster. I had the urge to vomit and rushed outside where I puked behind a bush. It was behind that bush that the abductor’s identity flashed in through my brain, causing me to vomit more.
I pulled myself together and ran the facts through my mind. I didn’t have many facts, but the few I had were enough for me. The night before had not been a dream, Shep was here. He was in my bed. He took advantage of me, then he took the picture of us along with my child. My entire body was heating up as rage began to burn under my skin. My mind quickly began planning how I would get my child back. At that moment, I didn’t care about Shep. I didn’t care what his reasons were. I forgot my love for him. I suddenly felt filthy as I realized his disgusting hands had been all over me while he let me believe I was dreaming. He took advantage of my love for him, of my pain over losing him. He screwed me before he stole my child. I ran up the stairs, feeling an uncontrollable need to wash him off of me.
The water was scalding as I scrubbed Shep off every inch of my body. My skin was crimson and raw when I finally stepped out of the shower. I quickly dressed and ran up the stairs to the library. I wrote a note to anyone who may come looking for me and left it on the desk.
To whoever finds this,
Shep was here and he took James. I went to Neveah to get him back.
Lilly
I pushed the wall to the side and rushed inside the portal. Within seconds, I was spinning, and I was out. I woke in Neveah, still in the portal room. I didn’t stop to think as I rushed down the stairs to the main floor, hollering the first names who came to mind. “Meme, Papa, Denali, Vivianna, Renny, Diallo!” I was in full panic mode now. The calmness I felt just moments before on Earth had dissipated. I was running down the hall, searching the house when I ran head on into Denali.
“Lilly? What are you doing here? Where is James?” He paused long enough to look at me. “What happened?” A moment later I was in his arms, having a breakdown—again.
I took a few deep breaths and focused on my fluttering heart enough to will it into a semi-normal rhythm. I stepped back from Denali and wiped my damp face before I told him, “Shep was in my house and he took James.” My voice was shaky as I said the words out loud. I had thought them a thousand times over in my mind, but this was the first time my thoughts were audible. Denali couldn’t hide the look of shock on his face and wrapped his arm around my shoulder before pulling me down the hall.
He led me to the great room where it appeared a meeting of some kind was taking place. I had a sense of déjà vu as I recognized many of the faces seated around the massive table. My grandmother rose at once to greet me, but froze at the sight of my face.
“What is it, child?” she asked calmly. I tried to find the words again, but my voice failed me. Denali, once again, came to my rescue.
“Shep has James,” he said and gasps of shock and horror were heard around the room.
Denali led me to a chair next to my grandfather, and questions began to fly. They were being flung at me at high speeds, and I didn’t know how to begin answering them. My grandfather raised his hand and cleared his throat. The room quieted as he spoke. “Please, let my granddaughter speak,” he commanded in his low, forceful voice. They were silent now, but their eyes were slicing me open like knives.
I dug deep down to find my voice and began to speak. “I thought I had been dreaming. He was there, with me, he lay in my bed, but I thought it was a dream. I had been sleeping when he came in. It never occurred to me that he was real. I woke the next morning to find James missing along with a picture of Shep and me,” I finished confidently.
“How do you know Shep did it?” asked my aunt Vivianna. It was a fair question, yet it irritated me. I didn't know how I knew. I just did. The picture could have been taken by anyone. I knew that, and my fantasy could have been a dream, only I knew it wasn’t. I had to rationalize it to myself and push away my irritation before I answered her.
“I grew up with Shep. I know him as well as I know myself, every part of him. I guess I knew, deep inside, that he was really there when it all took place, but I couldn’t let myself be
lieve it. I couldn’t stand the pain of waking up to realize I had imagined the whole encounter. I forced myself asleep, so I would believe I had dreamt it. I also remember that though he was there, he was not my Shep, and that scared me as well,” I finished, feeling on the verge of crying or puking. The room was silent as they watched me. I couldn’t tell if my explanation was enough to convince them, but I knew it was Shep.
The silence had gone on for too long, and I was ready to excuse myself from the room when I heard a familiar voice. “She’s right, Shep took James! We need to move quickly!” Leah’s voice was like music to my ears, and I ran to her. She wrapped her long arms around me, protectively, but I could feel her body trembling.
“I’m so happy to see you! I was so stupid. I should’ve known. I should’ve stopped him!” I was going on and on when Leah gently shushed me.
“Don’t worry, Lilly, we will get James back,” she said, releasing her hold on me.
We both sat at the table, and she began to explain all she knew and how she came by her information. Her voice was low and shaky as she spoke. “The Fey, Shea, has been with me in The Dark Forest for many moons. She was with me before I followed Annie to the Ordinary World, and I trust her completely. She is fed information from her two sisters, Calista and Alana.” She paused and glanced around the room as though she had to make sure she had everyone’s attention. She did.
“Alana was Jax’s Fey, not willingly, but his nonetheless. She remained in the attic of the compound after Kelsha moved in, taking over. Kelsha had no idea she was there, but one of the Specials there did. Bronwen is the sister of Heren, Kelsha’s current lover, and she does not trust Kelsha. She stays only to watch her brother and gain knowledge for me. She is able to control her thoughts around Kelsha, giving her the ability to keep secrets from her, which has been helpful to me. She has relayed valuable information to Alana, who has relayed that to Shea and me. I have been building my strength and knowledge and a capable army in the Dark Forrest, one that is capable of stopping Kelsha.”
Leah was interrupted by Denali, who seemed rather irritated, which I found unnecessary.
“Please, just tell us how you know Shep took the baby. We have not the time to waste in storytelling,” he demanded, his tone harsh.
I was embarrassed by his rudeness. “Denali, how dare you speak to her like that?” But I was cut off before I could finish.
“Lilly, it’s all right. Denali is right, I just thought I should explain myself a bit, but time is sensitive,” Leah said. “I believe everyone is aware of the block that has been placed on Shep’s memories?” she questioned. Everyone shook their heads in agreement.
Leah continued. “Well, it appears he truly believes Kelsha is his only family and he would do anything for her. The loyalty part of him has not changed. You see, Kelsha had a child of her own. The child was born and died the same day James was born. Kelsha grieved for a long time and Shep hated seeing her in pain. When she suggested to him that another baby would heal her broken heart he agreed to her plan. That other baby was James and Kelsha now has him and is claiming him as her own. Shep has no idea he is the father, but he is cracking.”
I was the one to interrupt her this time. “What do you mean, cracking?” I was anxious for her answer, desperately hoping it meant he was regaining control of his mind.
I was furious with Shep, heartbroken possibly beyond repair, but if my Shep was still there, fighting to break the surface of his own mind…my mind wandered as I imagined Shep coming back to me, carrying our child. I shook my head to dispel my naïve imagination and focused on Leah.
“Calista still sees Shep. She can feel him. It seems he has been dreaming of you Lilly, even before he saw you on Earth. His confusion deepened when he saw you on Earth and he felt his love for you. He couldn’t explain you to himself, though, and was counting on Kelsha to tell him his past, tell him about you. She didn’t, of course, but the closer Shep gets to finding himself, the stronger Calista feels him. We need him to remember. We need him to come home to us. He has trained an army of Specials and he has trained them well. Kelsha plans to wage war on the Levannahs and all that follow them. If Shep fights for her, we could very well lose. When she gets word that Lilly has returned she will fight harder and faster, but I worry most that she will flee with baby James and wage this war from a different location. We have to stop her before that happens. We have to get my grandson back. We have to end this once and for all,” she completed her story, her voice more confident.
There wasn’t time to formulate the perfect plan, but we had a plan. I would go with Denali and Leah to the compound. We would sneak in and get my child. It sounded simple enough, but we knew how dangerous it would be. We didn’t have a choice. We didn’t have time. We decided to leave right away. We would travel on the dragons to the compound, counting on their speed to get us there quickly and their protection once we arrived. Leah told us about her dragon and his loyalty and strength, but it wasn’t until I saw him that I understood what she meant.
White as snow, but ferocious looking, the dragon Josiah was clearly a force to be reckoned with. Denali’s dragon, Paeris, was just as ferocious and glowed crimson. He was poised and ready for flight. I was to ride one of Vivianna's dragons, Zachary. He was Paeris' brother and was as poised as the other two dragons and nearly identical to his brother. Had it not been for the black freckles that spotted his red scales they would be hard to tell apart. The brother dragons stood in stark contrast to Josiah, yet all were loyal to their masters. We flew away from the Levannah house, and toward my child. The three of them were a magnificent sight as their mammoth bodies sliced through the air.
~Chapter Nineteen~
Shep was disappointed with Kelsha’s explanation. He had hoped she would be truthful with him, but clearly she was hiding something, and it was the key to his past. In the months since he woke to Fionna, naked and ready to love him, he had not questioned the stories he was told. He loved Kelsha dearly and trusted her with his life. He had worked diligently training an army to fight for her, without questioning her motives. She was family, and that was good enough for Shep. It was good enough until Lilly, the woman who Kelsha said was just his playmate when he was younger, began filling his dream world, until she began filling his waking thoughts. Just accepting Kelsha's word was no longer good enough for Shep. He kept the photo of the two of them always hidden securely in his shirt pocket. He touched his pocket just to feel the photo that was tucked inside. His entire life had been good enough, until he saw Lilly.
She haunted his every moment now, waking or sleeping. He hadn’t been able to lie with his wife since he returned from the Ordinary World, since he had made love with Lilly. Guilt invaded his mind, heart, and soul every time he looked at Fionna. She was so sweet, so fragile, and he cared deeply for her. She was a wonderful wife to him and an even better lover, but not the woman he loved. He had come to recognize how his feelings changed when she touched him and was careful not to let her get too close for fear he would stay. He tried to avoid her as much as possible. He had to sort things out.
Shep searched the compound for clues to his past, but nothing helped bring his memories back. Nothing told him what Lilly Mender had been to him. After days of avoiding Kelsha and his wife, he decided it was best for him to go away for a while. Kelsha didn’t seem surprised by his decision, even seemed to support him.
Fionna was not happy, though, and said as much in less than understanding tones. Her eyes flickered in anger and for a moment Shep was frightened of the little woman.
“Fionna, I will be back before too long. I can’t stay here and be a proper husband unless I know who I was before I woke in our bedroom. You understand, don’t you?” he asked, pleadingly.
Her usual pale skin was flushed with rage, and her mouth was set in a hard line. If she could have killed him with a look, he would have been dead. After a moment, she responded, “No, I don’t understand! We are happy! At least we were, until Kelsha sent you after that
brat!” She spat, saliva sprinkling Shep’s face.
“I had strange feelings before that, Fionna, but yes, that trip really pulled them to the front of my mind.”
“Why can’t you just leave well enough alone? Why can’t you be happy with me?”
“I can’t be happy or complete until I know all there is to know about myself.”
“It’s her, isn’t it? It’s because of Lilly, right? You just can’t let go of that woman.” She stopped herself, but it was too late. Shep's curiosity was piqued now.
“How do you know about Lilly? What do you know about my past, Fionna?” Shep demanded. Shock rocked his body as he realized Fionna knew more about his past than she cared to admit. He never considered she could be a player in keeping his life a secret. She had explaining to do. Shep was prepared to make her explain. He felt his own flesh turning crimson as he began to shake in anger.
“All I know is you loved her at one time.” She stopped, her body trembling. She knew she had gone too far, said too much. She didn’t care. Kelsha would be furious, but she wasn’t afraid of Kelsha.
She made an effort to calm herself down before speaking again. She looked at Shep, confused, broken, and angry. She was the key player in causing those emotions. She had agreed to play along as Shep’s wife. The idea sounded fun, and he was attractive. He pleased her greatly in bed, and she had grown to love him greatly. She had known from the beginning, he could remember his past. Remember his life with Lilly. She had fooled herself into believing she had loved him well enough to keep Lilly away. She was wrong. He was remembering, and she was powerless among the visions of Lilly.
In that moment, looking at him, Fionna had to make a choice. She had to choose a side, Kelsha or Shep. Kelsha had given her life, given her Shep, but for selfish reasons and only temporarily. Kelsha didn’t care if Fionna was hurt in the process. Shep had always been honest with her, even now, when he knew it would hurt her. He had always been gentle and caring. They made each other happy when it was needed, but she knew, deep down, she didn’t love him any more than he loved her. She did care about him, though, and decided it was Shep she would follow. Shep she would stand by even if only as an ally, a friend.
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