Neveah Box Series (Neveah Box Set Book 5)

by Angie Merriam

  I found my way to the cave opening with ease. The lights twinkled, but there was heaviness in the cave. I looked around for her and was worried when I didn't see her right away.

  “Calista, it's me, Lilly,” I called out softly. A rustling came from the bushes near the pond, and Calista showed herself.

  “Hello, Lilly, please come closer,” she asked, and I obliged. Her pale skin was a shade paler, and her soft eyes were sunken into the sockets. Her small frame, which had been curvy and beautiful, looked brittle and weak.

  “What happened to you, Calista? How long have you been ill?” I asked. I was deeply concerned. She coughed and motioned for me to sit beside her. I found a spot near her and made myself comfortable. She sat near me and positioned herself into comfort.

  “I have seen many horrible things, Lilly,” she began.

  “Please tell me, Calista,” I urged.

  “Neveah is in an imbalance. Our land, as you know, is a peaceful land. We all had hoped that peace would be restored after the demise of Jax Bane. We were wrong. No Neveahian was prepared for Kelsha. We are still not prepared. Most of the population has no idea they are in danger.” She paused to clear her throat. Her musical voice had become raspy and dry. “Do you remember I told you not to part ways with Shep?” she asked and I instantly felt guilt, but I didn't know why.

  “Yes, I remember, but we didn't separate intentionally. Shep was tricked,” I tried to explain, but she lifted her frail hand, instructing me to stop and listen.

  “I know it's not your fault, things were far more dangerous than I knew. I didn't see Kelsha coming. I should have, but I didn't. I was too busy watching Jax. I watched as Kelsha took Shep's memory. I watched as he trained an army for her. I watched how he idolized and loved her. I watched him love another woman as his wife,” she said, and I stopped her.

  “Please, Calista. I do not need to hear the details of Shep's other marriage. I am aware of this other woman,” I said, hoping my voice was firm enough for her to drop the subject. It wasn't. She went on.

  “I know this is hard for you to hear, but you have to toughen up, Lilly. You have the fight of your life ahead of you and you will not win if you don't listen to me. You still might not win, but you will have a better chance. I watched as all of this took place and I saw what will happen if Kelsha wins.” She stopped to breathe as though just talking took so much out of her.

  “What will happen if I lose?” I asked, almost not wanting to know the answer to my question.

  “Neveah will be dark, Lilly. Neveah will be cold. All the good in Neveah will be gone. Many creatures that rely on the warmth, goodness, and peace of Neveah will wither away, including me. It is already starting. Kelsha has her army, and she is planning to strike. She has the most powerful weapon and he belongs to you.” I was thinking, trying to understand her.

  “She has baby James, Lilly, and once the child is grown, he will be very powerful. He has all the goodness and healing from you, and he carries his father's passion and ability to regenerate. When his power combines with the dark blood of Jax, he will be able to inflict pain on anyone just by thinking the thought. With you, he will never have the need to use his dark side, but with Kelsha it will be encouraged and he will be unstoppable. She knows his abilities and she plans to use them.”

  “Is that why you are so ill?” I asked.

  “Yes, the closer she gets to implementing her plans, the more ill I become.”

  “Can you see Shep now, Calista? Leah and Denali seem to think he will be the key to defeating Kelsha.”

  “Yes, that is true. Shep has gone home, and the wall that housed his memories has been broken. He remembers his past, but he also remembers his time with Kelsha. He is a broken man, Lilly. He has been split in two and he will battle himself during this fight. You will have to be strong, and stay with him, even when you feel like you can't trust him! Even when you want to hate him, and you will, you have to stay with him. He is the key to your lock. You have to stay together.”

  “So he has gone back to Earth?” I asked, bewildered. “Why?” She looked at me, shock in her eyes.

  “He has gone to find himself, Lilly, to find you. He felt you, Lilly, he couldn't remember why he had such strong feelings for you, but he felt it. He left Kelsha in search of himself and in search of you. Surely your hurt has not shadowed the connection you share with him, has it?” she asked. Worry laced her weak voice.

  “I don't know how I feel, Calista. I spent my whole life with Shep, and then he left me. However noble his reasons were, he left me and our child. I had to learn to live without him and my mother. The pain in the beginning was constant, but I pushed through. I had to. I had a person growing inside me. Suddenly life wasn’t just about me and the pain I carried in my heart, it was about that baby. I learned to be on my own, not to rely on anyone, to be a mother, and that baby was my reason for living. He gave me a purpose, and Shep took him away!”

  “But, Lilly, surely you know that was not your Shep,” Calista put in.

  Of course I knew that, but what my mind knew and what my heart felt were two very different things. I had no idea what I would do once we found Shep. Part of me had been waiting forever to feel him close to me, feel his arms around me, feel his lips on mine, but that was the old me. The new me harbored deep seeded anger and resentment for him.

  Calista interrupted my thoughts. “Lilly, you have to work with Shep to save Neveah.” I knew this was not the time to rehash my feelings for Shep. Once again, I had a job to do and this time I would be smarter, stronger, and I would not lose. I made a promise to bring my child home, save Neveah, save Calista, and kill Kelsha.

  “How much time do we have, Calista? You are already so frail.” She let out a sigh as though speaking were difficult for her.

  “You have a little bit of time, Lilly. You have to learn all you can before you go after Kelsha. You have to always have your guard up. I can't see her or her plans, but I feel them in my bones. The closer she gets to victory the closer I come to death. I see you winning, if you are with Shep. Apart, you will lose, we will all lose,” she finished with severe sadness in her voice.

  Her strength was waning as she gave in and laid herself down on the soft grass. There was nothing else for us to discuss. Once again, she had told me what I needed to know, and I hoped against hope that I wouldn't let her down. I bent down and kissed her on the forehead. In reflex, she jerked her eyes open.

  “Lilly, you know you can't touch me!” She spat.

  “I know what I'm doing, Calista. You are like a sister to me. I know that touching you will not affect me as it does others because I already love you. Besides, I am a healer, remember? I was hoping I could give you more time. Goodbye, Calista, I will try not to let you down,” I said, and she smiled back.

  “Goodbye, Lilly, and good luck.” With that she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

  I found my way back to the main cave with ease. I felt remarkably comfortable here considering I had only been there one other time. I thought of the words used the first time I was in Neveah and trying to save my mother. The Specials called me the ‘Chosen One’ which I tried desperately to deny. Maybe they were right. Maybe I was wrong for leaving Neveah. I would not leave Neveah until balance and peace was restored, and I had my boy back.

  I found Leah and Denali near the sparkling tree surrounded by little Asrai fairies. Denali spotted me first and broke his way out of the fairies. He looked uncomfortable amongst the tiny creatures, as though he were too manly to be in such a beautiful, romantic place. I giggled at him as he came toward me. A look of playful annoyance danced in his eyes. The look intensified as he saw me giggling at him.

  “You're not uncomfortable around the dainty fairies, are you?” I asked teasingly.

  “They are just so dainty and fragile and they dote on your every word,” he spat as though he were thoroughly disgusted. This made me laugh even harder. He was the image of a man surrounded by toddlers, all vying for his atten
tion and having no idea what to do with them.

  “Thanks, Uncle Denali, I needed that,” I told him through gasping laughter.

  “Glad to be of service to you, Lilly.” He walked away in annoyance and perched himself next to the pond. I made my way over to Leah.

  She was enjoying the Asrais’ attention and motioned for me to come to her. The little fairies were trying to lighten the mood, knowing the danger we were in, the danger Neveah was in, and I was grateful to them. The fairies were in the midst of a song when I made it to Leah's side.

  “They are wonderful, aren't they? They make you happy just looking at them.” She beamed, and I shook my head in agreement.

  “Although, I don't think Uncle Denali is as smitten as we are,” I said and pointed in his direction. He raised a hand, waving us away before turning his back on us. Leah and I both laughed and enjoyed the entertainment the Asrais were giving.

  After a most enjoyable night, we found our way to our sleeping areas. We had agreed to sleep for a few hours before pushing on. I was anxious to get Leah alone to tell her what I learned of Shep and his location. I hugged Denali and told him to rest well before returning to the sleeping quarter I was to share with Leah. We had settled in and were resting comfortably when she finally asked me about Shep. I told her what Calista had told me about Shep. I also told her what I knew about the war, and that she was right, we had to find Shep.

  “We can't go after him together, though. I think it's best if only one of us goes back to the Ordinary World to bring him back. The other one needs to stay with Denali. We will have to build our own army and train them as Kelsha's has been trained. We are dealing with a larger threat than Jax posed. Kelsha is power hungry. She wants Neveah under her rule,” I told Leah, and she agreed.

  “I know how hurt you are and how angry you are with Shep, but I hope you can forgive him. He loves you, Lilly.”

  “I will tolerate working with Shep for the sake of our son and Neveah, but that is all I can promise right now. I know he loves me, and I love him, I just don't know if love is enough for us.” She had been holding my hand and gently squeezed it. We both knew that was enough talk of Shep for the time being.

  ~Chapter Twenty-Six~

  Once Shep gained his full memory, he realized the extent of what he had done. He now had complete recollection of his life before Kelsha, as well as life with her. He knew his heart belonged to Lilly, but felt a sense of responsibility for Fionna. The new Shep was competing with the old Shep, and he found it a daily struggle walking the fine line. He had to go back to Neveah, he knew, but feared Kelsha could easily control him in his current state.

  “Dad, I really screwed up,” he told his father.

  “Yeah, you did, son, but you can make it right.”

  “I don't know if Lilly will be able to forgive me. I don't know if I can forgive myself.”

  “Look, son, Lilly loves you. She has waited for you to return. She is going to be pissed, no doubt, but she will forgive you.”

  “I kidnapped my own son and left him with a madwoman, Dad! I have to go back! I have to get my son!”

  “I know, but you are in no shape to do so right now.”

  “I know. The dark side of me still takes up the most residence in my brain. I need to get away, pull the good part of me to the forefront. I have to feel the good inside of me again. I remember, Dad, but I don't feel it. Not yet.”

  “Let's go then.”

  “Go where?”

  “Home,” his father stated confidently. “The place where you grew into the man you are today. You can build your mind's strength there. You will remember why you are good, why you love Lilly the way you do, why you have to make things right.”

  Shep thought about it for only a few seconds before he was rushing up the stairs to grab the stack of letters Lilly had left. He had no clothes or material possessions to speak of. “Let's go!” he exclaimed.

  His father was thrilled to bring his son home, even temporarily, and quickly packed his own things. Soon they were on the road, heading home. The drive passed quickly as they chatted about the past and the future. Shep asked questions about his son and found it hard to believe he was a father. By the time they were turning into the long drive that led to Shep's home, he was feeling more and more relaxed.

  It was nearly dinner time and Michael offered to run into town for pizza. Shep was starving and agreed on pizza. “Are you going to be all right here by yourself?” his father asked, and Shep nodded that he would be. His father left him alone, knowing his boy needed to connect with himself on his own.

  Once his father was gone, Shep found himself walking toward the tiny trailer he had spent so much of his childhood in. He was surprised to find the door open and even more surprised to find most of the remnants inside either packed up or gone. Only a few large pieces of furniture were left, and they were covered in sheets. Lilly had packed up and gone to Newberg to wait for him, he thought.

  He wandered from room to room, feeling Lilly everywhere. He carefully opened the door to her bedroom and stood in the doorway, almost afraid to go in, as though the emotions would be too overwhelming. Finally, he pushed himself in and found that most of what was Lilly was gone from the tiny room. Only the furniture remained with a few knickknacks. He sat on her bed and noticed a piece of paper on the bedside table. He picked it up and realized it was a photo of him and Lilly when they around ten years old. He smiled at the memory as he remembered the day clearly.

  It was winter, and they had just come in from a snowball fight. Lilly's hair was wet and matted to her head, her cheeks pink from the cold. They sat side by side in their snow suits, hot coco in their hands, smiling. She was smiling at the camera. He was smiling at her. Even then, at ten years old, he knew he loved her. For the first time since he regained his memory, Shep allowed himself to miss her. He held the picture tightly as he sat on her bed, sobbing. He missed her greatly, not just as his wife, but he missed his best friend. How was he supposed to overcome the hardest thing life had ever handed him without her? They had always been together, faced life together, good or bad, and he was here alone, facing it without her.

  He prayed out loud that she would forgive him, and he would have the strength to get through this without her. That he could go back to Neveah and get his son back, and he would be a good father, as his own father was. He prayed he would be with Lilly soon, raising their child, as it should be. He fell asleep on her bed, exhausted and sad.

  His father returned from getting pizza and found him curled in a ball on Lilly's bed. He left him alone. It was morning when Shep woke and realized his father let him stay. He made his way home. He was grateful his father understood. He walked into the house to the sound of the microwave and the smell of day old pizza.

  “Got some pepperoni left for me?” Shep asked and his father pulled the plate out, handing it to him.

  “I was warming it for you. I figured you would be back soon.”

  “Thanks, Dad, for everything.”

  “You’re welcome, son, now eat up, we’ve got some fishing to do.”

  Shep spent the next few weeks with his dad. He tried to enjoy the time he had, and his father seemed to do the same. His father kept him busy fixing, building, fishing, hiking, and anything else that came to mind. Shep knew his father was helping him build his strength up, both mentally and physically. Shep was already sorry for the day he would leave his father, again, but knew it was coming. He would need to go back to Neveah soon.

  ~Chapter Twenty-Seven~

  Heren had not left Kelsha's side for longer than a few minutes after the night of their lovemaking, for fear she would slip away again. He was like a puppy following her everywhere, but she didn't mind. She loved the attention he showed her. She knew a fight was coming, and she spent the days visiting the Specials, discussing strategies, checking loyalties, while always having baby James resting in her arms. The island was bitterly cold, keeping most of the Specials indoors, so training took place in the ma
in house common area. With Shep away, Danu had taken his place as trainer.

  He had been a noble student while Shep was training and took all of Shep's best strategies and applied his own dose of darkness. Where Shep had taught to fight using physical force, weapons, and powers, Danu instilled darkness in the Specials. He was a genius at manipulating, and Kelsha enjoyed watching him. She was pleased as she watched some truly great Specials hone their abilities, learning to use them at will, and focus on them as a weapon. There were Hybrids, Specials, and fearful creatures working together for her, and she felt an immense sense of pride.

  She was admiring the training session when Fionna came to stand beside her. “Where is Heren? He hasn't left your side in days,” she asked.

  “He has gone to hunt, though I doubt he will be gone long. He would have never gone had it not been at my insistence,” Kelsha replied.

  “They look amazing, very competent. I do believe we will be very successful in the fight.” Kelsha was pleased to hear this from Fionna. She had questioned her loyalty when Shep fled. She knew the girl had real feelings for her dear nephew and worried she would falter. She hadn't as of yet.

  “Yes, they do look wonderful, don't they? Danu has done a wonderful job replacing Shep.” Kelsha pointed out, purposefully mentioning Shep. She hadn't spoken of Shep much and was curious to see Fionna’s reaction. Much to Kelsha's surprise, the girl didn't flinch at the mention of his name.

  “Kelsha, are you worried that Shep will get his memory back and come for you?” Fionna asked.

  “Oh, I know he will get his memory back. His wall was beginning to crumble before he left. I am also sure he will come for me. He will be rather furious when he realizes he handed his own child over to me.”

  “And this doesn't concern you?”

  “Yes, it does concern me greatly. Shep may be a noble man, but he is the seed of Jax Bane. I saw darkness in him while he was with us. The man is split in two. He will struggle with this and that will be his weakness. How are you, Fionna? I know you cared greatly for him.”