His body was screaming for her touch but his heart was shredded, beating only for Annika. He sat on Akayleah's bed and she took the place beside him.
“I don't know what to do,” he began. “Seeing her with him did things to me I never thought were possible. I wanted to kill him. The urge was overwhelming. Then I ran. I ran to you. I didn't know that's what I was doing but I did. And you were there. I've never let anyone see that side of me, not even Annika and we've been linked since birth. The thing is, my body wants you but my heart is telling me different. This was supposed to happen with her,” he said quietly, his head hung.
“I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do, Jax. We can just sit and talk if you want but I won't lie and tell you that I'm not happy she's found someone. I'm sorry for your hurt but I would like a chance to help you forget her,” she said softly as her hand brushed his inner leg.
“I want to forget her,” he said and convinced himself that it was true. He touched her face and felt the heat radiating. “Please help me forget her,” he begged.
She helped him that night many times over. Their first time was awkward but tender as she taught him the ways of lovemaking. He was a quick study though and picked up on what made her feel good realizing that her pleasure became his own. For one night, he thought of no one but Akayleah. He kissed her face, her breasts, and the sweet spot between her legs. Being inside of her was the warmest feeling he had ever felt. When he fell asleep in her arms, all the pain of the day fell away, and he was happy again. If only for a moment.
He felt a strange sense of guilt when he woke next to her. She was sleeping soundly, and he watched her. She was so pretty, prettier than Annika if he was being honest. He watched her and tried to feel it, the feeling he only felt with Annika, but he couldn't. The want for her body was there, but the feeling in his heart was not. He kissed her gently on the forehead before he dressed and left her alone, without a goodbye.
He went home that day, intending to tell Annika everything. He had to tell her how much he loved her, and that he wanted nothing more than to marry her. He would even confess his night with Akayleah. She would forgive him as he would her. She would realize her love for him, and they would be happy.
He had washed all evidence of Akayleah from his body and put on fresh clothes then went to find Annika. He was no further than his own path when she literally ran into him. He could see she was upset and thought she surely had come to him because that James Mender was a fool who broke her heart, and Jax was happy for it. He would be there for her and prove his own love to her. What she said took him by surprise. Her words would echo in his head forever.
“Have they told you? They plan for us to marry! How could they?” Her voice was nearing a whine and Jax felt his heart accelerate. This wasn't what he thought her reaction would be. Yes, they had drifted apart recently, but she was still his soulmate, his light in the dark. She was his best friend, and he was hers. They balanced each other. He took a few steady breaths before speaking.
“Of course Annie, of course we are to be wed. My parents told me the deal they made with your father all those years ago. I couldn't be happier Annie. I love you. Don't you love me?” It was the most vulnerable he had been with her in a very long time. Of course, he knew of the plans, his parents told him a long time ago. He waited and waited for the two of them to come of age so they could be one. Even though he saw her with another man, even though he ran to the arms of someone else, even though they had grown up and apart, he loved her and foolishly believed that she loved him back.
He was waiting patiently for her response. Her face, so beautiful and innocent, looked afraid and sad. He knew what she was going to say before she did. He braced himself against the words he knew would change him forever.
“No Jax, I can't marry you. Of course I love you, like I love Denali, like a brother.” He could see the sorrow in her eyes and hear the sincerity in her voice, but it didn't matter. He was trembling beneath his skin and when she laid a hand on him, attempting to calm him down, his fury grew, but he could control it.
“Don't try to calm me Annika. It's not going to work this time. I can calm myself.” He felt his body shake and his skin tingled, but he controlled it, as he had practiced many times in The Dark Forest. He tried to find the words to erase the ones she had just spoken.
“I'm sorry if I scared you, but that's not really what I was expecting to hear from you. It's okay though. We have time. You will learn to love me. We will be happy Annie.” He could hear the pleading in his voice, the slight quiver that caused his normally steady and strong voice to shake. She would see reason. He would make her see reason.
“I love someone else Jax. He asked me to marry him today and I said yes. You see, I can't marry you.” The words impaled his heart, and his stomach churned. It took every ounce of self-control he had to keep from shifting. When she tried to touch him, he pushed her away, fearing her touch would be the end of him.
“Please, Jax, understand. I had no idea you felt this way. You can't be angry with me!” She said, and he heard the anger in her voice. His entire life he was with Annika. They grew together, and they learned together. They laughed together and loved together. Almost every major life experience had been experienced together including their first kiss. How could she not know how he felt? He didn't try to hide it. As their life together ran through his head, and he tried to find the words to convince her that she was wrong, he realized something was different about her. He knew it was the same thing that was different about him.
“Have you lain with this other man, Annika?” He demanded even though he knew he didn't have the right to.
“What? What difference does that make?” She countered, and he knew the answer without her speaking it yet he wanted to hear her say those words.
“It makes a huge difference to me.” The thought of another man's hands on his Annika's body made him physically ill. Surely, he would forgive her though, after all his first time was not with Annika, but she didn't know that. He had to forgive her, he thought, but could he?
“Yes, today after he proposed. Are you happy now Jax?” She spat, not knowing that her words were like thousands of pieces of broken glass cutting into him simultaneously. Any rational thought he had left had vanished. The remainder of their conversation was void and years later all he would remember was calling her a whore because to him, she was.
The emotions he was working on so hard to keep hidden were emerging. The darkness that had threatened to take over was finally overshadowing any amount of light that he carried. They argued, more like she argued while the monster inside of Jax grew. The thoughts that ran through his mind were wrong. He knew they were wrong, yet there they stayed, dancing around and taunting him until he felt something inside of him snap. The monster emerged and when Jax threw her over his shoulder, he knew there was no going back to being Jax Androni.
He carried her, kicking and screaming to The Dark Forest and when she bit him, he laughed. When she pleaded for him to release her and used their friendship as a weapon it did nothing but anger him more. The only thing he could think about was having her body as his own. He should have been the first man to touch her in those ways. That James Mender would pay for tainting his Annika but not before Annika paid for betraying Jax.
Once he reached his destination, a large tree deep in The Dark Forest, he threw her on the ground. What he did next made him feel powerful but broken. When he ripped the front of her dress open, exposing her breasts, he almost stopped himself. So many times he had dreamed of seeing her naked skin. So many times he had dreamed of touching her. Their one kiss had rested on his lips, waiting to explore more of her. The fear on her face tugged slightly at his conscience and heart, but the monster in him fed on it. Her fear made him grow stronger. He unleashed all his anger and hurt upon her body. He slapped her. He bit her in her most sensitive spots. He made her his own in the most violent way he could and when he finally allowed himself to enter her
, he was neither gentle nor kind as he had been with Akayleah just the night before. No, he entered her swiftly, roughly. He pounded into her with all of his strength willing his seed to embed itself deep inside of her. When he finally finished he looked at her. She had passed out.
He backed off of her and fell back against the wall of the tree. For a moment, the severity of what he had done caused him to panic. He looked at her, so broken and beaten. The lovely face that he loved so much was swelling and parts were turning a deep shade of purple. He saw blood splattered across different parts of her body, including her breasts and between her thighs. He looked at his hands and felt sick. His hands had beaten and bruised the one person in the world Jax had always cherished. The one person he had always loved. The one person he would die for. The one person who was supposed to be his light in the dark had turned that light off forever, and Jax made sure she knew what her betrayal had done to him. The proof was left in her body.
He left her unconscious and beaten but sure she had learned her lesson. He left directions for her when she woke. She was to meet him at her house where they would announce their engagement to their family and friends. Jax felt almost giddy knowing he would soon marry Annika. He almost walked with a bounce in his step. He had one loose end to tie up or cut out, James Mender.
Jax was very specific in his note to Annie, he killed James. He knew she would be devastated but figured she would get over it. After all, Jax was her soulmate, he knew it, and she would too. Jax wondered to himself if he could really do it, could he kill the fucking, goody goody, perfect James Mender. He felt like he could. Jax had never hated anything more than he hated James. The thought of James being inside of Annika before Jax created an outrageous jealousy that fueled Jax's rampage. Yes, he could do it but how?
Oh the ideas raced through his mind, so many good ones. Would he do it slow or fast? Could he do it in his original form or should he shift into something more terrifying? Would it be easier if he shifted? No, he shook that thought away. He wanted James to look him in the eyes. He wanted James to know who stopped his last breath and why. Shifting was out. Bare hands? Blade? Rope? Ahh, so many decisions. Jax contemplated his method until he reached James' front door. Just before his hand raised up ready to fall against the wooden door, he wondered if the Mender family was home. If so, could he kill them all or would he have to wait and come back? No, it's now or never. Kill all the fuckers, he thought.
Bang. Bang. Bang. His hands fell against the door with loud thumps. He continued pounding the wood until his victim appeared. He looked surprised when he opened the door and found Jax looking rather mad. Jax began laughing. The look of confusion and fear on James face tickled something inside of Jax.
“Who's here with you?” He asked immediately. No hello, hey how are ya, no greeting whatsoever.
“Uhh, no one. Are you okay Jax?” James sounded worried about him, concerned about him. Well, he should be concerned. There were many things about Jax that were born that day, and most of them were very concerning.
“No, I'm not okay. Let me in,” he ordered but didn't give his enemy a chance to contest the request, he pushed him to the side and marched right in.
“Are you in love with Annika?” Jax asked, ready to get things started but he had to hear it from James mouth.
“What? What do you want Jax. What happens between Annie and me is none of your business,” James replied, standing his ground.
“Don't you call her Annie! Only the people that love her and are close to her call her Annie, like me... Not you!” How dare that bastard call her Annie as though they are best of friends.
“I do love her and I am very close to her,” James taunted, clearly irritated with his visitor and not the least bit afraid as Jax had assumed when he first arrived. Time to change that.
“Did you fuck her today?” Jax whispered low, but his eyes spoke of danger when he looked at James.
“No,” he said and Jax let out a breath, relaxing his shoulders slightly. She had lied to him. Why? It didn't matter, now Jax knew he was her first and suddenly felt a wave of guilt, but the wave washed right over him with James' next words.
“I don't just fuck the woman I love, the woman I'm going to marry and have children with, I made love to her,” James said softly and noticed yet another change in Jax's demeanor. The man had run through dozens of emotions since his arrival. It was almost impressive.
“Not that it's any business of yours. Annie and I are to be married. She will be my wife. I assume that's why you're here, she told you that. She thought you would be happy for her, being her best friend and all.” Jax looked up at him, and Jax saw the guilt there.
“But I knew different. I'm a man after all and she's the most beautiful, amazing woman in all of Neveah. Of course you love her. You’ve probably been waiting for her to realize that she loves you too right?” He paused but didn't give time to answer.
“Sorry, my friend but I got to her first. I love her. She is mine and I swear to whomever might be listening right now, if you so much as laid a hand on her I will kill your sorry ass.” James was close to Jax now, in his face and Jax began laughing wildly. Hysterically. “Ahhh, that's great James, it really is. You're going to kill me. Well, my friend good luck to you. You see, Annika is set to be my wife. She doesn't have a choice in the matter. She is lying limpless as we speak because she tried to betray me.” Jax wasn't able to continue the rest of his taunt. James’ fist smashing into his mouth stopped him short.
Jax was slightly stunned and could taste the blood pooling on his lips, but he just offered a smile. “What did you do to her? Where is Annie?” James demanded, his eyes crazy but determined. If Jax didn't loathe the man, he may have been impressed. If he wasn't fighting for his Annika, he might have liked the man. As it was though, he was fighting for Annika, and he could barely stomach looking at James knowing he had been inside of her.
“Oh, I've done many things to her. I've taught her how to behave. As to her whereabouts, I don't see how that's any of your business. We will be announcing our engagement tonight, so you see, I can't have you in the way. She may have doubts about me if you're still around. No, she can't have doubts. That's why I came here James. Not for this friendly talk, which has been wonderful, but I really must be going so let's get on with this,” Jax said before offering a wide smile that showed the red fluid swimming around in his mouth, covering his white teeth.
James lunged first, swinging wildly, trying to do as much damage as possible with his fists. Jax let the man have his fun for a little while. It was amusing to see the triumph he wore when he looked at Jax, bloody and spread out on the floor. He let his guard down thinking he'd beaten Jax. He was wrong.
Jax flew up from the floor and landed a jab on James' face, and both men could hear his bones crush. Jax reveled in the fear the brave James now showed. Finally, the idiot saw what he was dealing with. Jax was not just a regular man. No, he was a force. He continued the beating until James looked defeated, ready to give up. Then he began the torture.
James was bruised, broken, and bloody but those wounds would heal. His body would recover, and he would go on. Jax couldn't have that. He also couldn't have James just walking around Neveah, waiting for Annika. He lifted James' lifeless body into a chair and slapped him repeatedly until he regained consciousness. “Wake up you fool,” he taunted and when James' eyes fluttered open Jax leaned in real close to him. “Are you awake, James, really awake? I need you fully aware of the words I'm about to tell you. If you so much as move a muscle I will kill you. Is that clear?” James allowed his head to fall forward before using all of his strength to pull it back up in response.
“I'm going to tell you what I did to Annika but remember I did it because I love her and knowing your hands and your dick touched her made me ill. I couldn't control myself. You tainted her, dirtied her. I was supposed to be her first and only and you took that away from us, from me. She had to be punished. I had to make her understand that she is mine,
her body is mine.” He paused, making sure his one man audience was listening, understanding.
“So I took her to my place in The Dark Forest and I showed her that only my body will ever connect with her body. I hurt her, my friend. I hit her. I pinched her nipples and I bit her until she bled. I pounded into her until her weak body could take no more and she fell into unconsciousness. When she wakes she will see my note telling her of your death at my hands. She will be angry, sure, but she will not cross me. I've taught her it's best not to cross me.” He paused again and was pleased to see the horror in James' eyes.
“You're a sick man, Jax. How could you hurt her like that? You say you love her but you.” He couldn't say the words. Jax saw the disgust in the man's eyes. He saw James' throat move as he swallowed hard, trying to find the words. “You will pay for this. I will make you pay,” was all he could manage.
“No, you will go away. This is the deal. I promise not to kill you as long as you disappear. Never contact Annie again. She will believe you are dead as will your family and friends. If you try to cross me I will kill her and not think twice about it. Is that clear? It's not you I will kill, well maybe I will, but it will be Annika first. You'll have to feel the pain I felt when I heard of your trespassing in my territory. Don't cross me you foolish man. You have until sun fall to be away from Neveah.”
“I can't leave her here Jax. I love her and I will not let you hurt her. I can't leave her here with you. Kill me if you must but I'm not leaving Annika,” James responded before spitting bloodied spit at Jax.
“Well, killing you is tempting but I can't. Not yet. If I can't convince you maybe Annika can.” Jax laughed as James' eyes flew wide open. Jax undid the rope around his waist, using it to tie James to the chair, thankful that he was still too beaten and weak to put up a fight.
Neveah Box Series (Neveah Box Set Book 5) Page 49