“Ahh, Jax stop,” she managed to say between fits of laughter. “Please, stop,” she happily pleaded before freeing one of her hands and shoving her fingers into his rib cage. The attack caught him by surprise, and he lost his grip on her other hand. Annika took the opportunity and quickly began tickling him back until he fell off of her, and she sat on top of him, smiling triumphantly.
“Ha, I know you're just as ticklish as me,” she said laughing at his now squirming body. “You're losing your touch my friend,” she taunted.
“I let you win,” he said laughing.
“No you didn't!”
“Yes I did. I let you win the race and the tickle match.”
He seized her arms and flipped her over again. She looked at him stunned. Her wide blue eyes were like windows into her soul. They danced and lured him in and suddenly Jax felt differently about Annika. He always loved her. She was his best friend. His sister. She knew all there was to know about him and he about her. They shared everything. He knew she was his light. His link to morality. Now looking at her through his sixteen year old eyes, she was different.
He had failed to notice all the changes. Her face was a little more mature, and her body was slightly curvier. He felt that when he was tickling her. Annika was becoming a woman. How had he missed that? Did it happen overnight? He realized that he was becoming a man as she became a woman. That explained all the rapid heart rates and butterflies but why did his heart suddenly feel like a fist was squeezing it tightly when he looked at her? Why did he feel queasy and excited at the same time? Why did his lips want to feel hers? Then he did it. He didn't think. He just felt.
They had both stopped laughing, and Annika was no longer squirming. She looked at him in defiance but saw something different in his eyes. When his head lowered to hers and his lips touched hers, she did nothing to stop it. This was a first for both of them. She knew that. She loved him. Of course, her first kiss would be with Jax. It felt wrong though, like kissing her brother, so she stopped.
“Jax, I'm sorry but this isn't right. You're like a brother to me, closer than a brother. You're my best friend. It doesn't feel right.” He saw remorse in her eyes and felt his heart break in two. Her rejection did things to him he never thought were possible. Created feelings deep down that were foreign yet familiar. As though they had always been there, lurking, waiting to appear. Her eyes though. Her sweet, innocent eyes forced those feelings away. Well, almost. He felt his body tremble involuntarily and he quickly jumped off of Annika and backed away. She just watched him, frightened but fascinated.
She watched his transformation. His body quaked. His skin stretched, and his face twisted then seconds later he was a lion. He roared loudly when he looked at her. Her eyes wide, frozen in shock. She always thought Jax was a beautiful person, but he was breathtaking in lion form. She stood and walked to him, carefully. This was the first time she'd seen him shift and knew she had to be cautious. He stood in place, waiting for her. When she stood before him, she reached her hand up and rubbed his head. He leaned his head into her touch, and she smiled at him.
“Wow, you're beautiful, Jax,” she said with admiration. He nuzzled his head closer to her, and she giggled. Almost as quick as his transformation to lion happened, he transformed back. “Wow, that was pretty amazing huh?” He said, a little breathless and tired. “I need to sit down.” She followed him to the edge of the pond and sat beside him. “Tell me about it,” she said. He looked at her, sadness in his eyes mixed with the excitement of what had just happened. She was sorry that she was the cause of that sadness.
“Well, it was great,” he began excitedly and the sadness fell away. In that moment he made a decision. He would marry Annika, as their parents expected. He knew he loved her. He saw the admiration in her eyes when she looked at him in his animal form. He wanted her badly, even at his young age, he knew. He would wait for her. They had time. She would come around. She would realize they were born to be together. He just had to wait, and he knew she was worth it.
“The feeling, oh Annika, the feeling was crazy. Like all the blood began racing through my veins at top speed. I could feel every muscle contract and my skin tighten around them. My heart was beating frantically then I felt the prickles on my skin when the fur began to grow. It was powerful. Absolutely powerful.” He was smiling wide, and she was happy for him.
They sat by the pond for hours talking about his ability, her ability, and their daily lives. He enjoyed every minute with her and would have stayed there forever if it were possible.
“Jax, you said you wanted to tell me something earlier. What is it?” She asked, smiling.
“I wanted to tell you about me having a companion animal inside. My dad told me about it today. He's been trying to help me get the hang of shifting but until today I hadn't been able to do it. I meant to tell you about it but you got to see it firsthand. I'm glad you were here with me,” he said to her and meant it.
“I'm glad too. You are spectacular as a lion, Jax.”
“Thanks Annie,” he replied and smiled. She returned the smile and laid her head on his shoulder, a gesture she'd been doing for as long as he could remember.
“You know Jax, you're the only one that calls me Annie. Well, Denali does sometimes but not as much as you. I like it.” She smiled up at him with her eyes wide and full of admiration and what Jax thought had to be love. His insides warmed, and all was right in his life.
“No matter what happens to us in the future, you'll always be my Annie. My best friend. Always. I'll always need you.”
“Ahh, Jax. You'll always be my best friend too. I can't imagine my life without you. I better get home.” She stood, and he kissed her on the cheek before walking her home.
Over the next weeks and months, they saw less and less of each other. They made a point to spend time together at least once every few days but their time together was shorter and shorter. Annika was blossoming into a beautiful woman and every time she walked away from Jax he felt the crack in his heart widen. He missed his best friend terribly but ached for the woman she had become. He knew she was busy. With her parents being the rulers of Neveah, he knew the world would be left to her one day and that came with responsibility. She had a lot to learn so he would be patient. At least, that's what he told himself. He would hold their brief visits close to his heart and be thankful to see her at all. The knowledge that she would be his wife in the future was enough for now.
After Jax's first transformation, he'd found something he craved almost as much as Annika, shifting. He spent his free time in The Dark Forest perfecting his craft. The place was forbidden. All Special's in Neveah knew that it was home to fearsome and dangerous creatures. Many great stories were told between children and adults alike. Not one Special in Neveah could actually say they had ever actually gone into the forest or seen any of its inhabitants. Jax could. He felt a tinge of fear the first time he wandered into the darkness but felt an enormous sense of power in the darkness. He felt at peace there, at home. He looked forward to going there. It was the only place he could go and forget about all the missed time with Annika.
It was in The Dark Forest that he met Akayleah, Queen of The Dark Forest. He was perfecting his dragon transformation when he first laid eyes on her. She was standing at the edge of a small clearing, watching him. She was stunning with her olive skin, long black hair, and piercing dark eyes, and she didn't seem to be afraid of him, just curious. He shifted back to his human form and walked over to her.
“Hello. Are you lost? This is a dangerous place, maybe I can help you get home,” he offered and was taken back when she laughed at him.
“I'm sorry but it is I who should be asking you if you are lost. After all, you're in my forest,” she replied, the smile never leaving her face.
“Your forest?”
“Yes, I'm Akayleah and I am the Queen of this forest.”
“But, you're beautiful,” he stammered still confused by her and annoyed that she made him feel
inferior.
“Well, I am sure most Special's in Neveah would be disappointed to hear that the Creature's and Special's that reside in this forest are not bad. Some may look frightening but they are all very gentle,” she explained before finding a large stump to sit on, patting it in Jax's direction. “Come sit by me.” He did without question. He was mesmerized by her and eager to hear her speak again. Her voice was slightly deep and scratchy but lovely.
“Let me explain a few things to you. While most of us are gentle and loving, we live here for a reason. The stories and legends of The Dark Forest keep many of us safe. We like that Special's don't come here. We like our privacy. Do you understand what I'm saying?”
“No, not really. Why would someone like you be hiding out in this place?”
“It doesn't matter. What matters is that you are here. You have been coming here for a while now. I've been watching you. You have an impressive gift but as I said we like our solitude. We don't want anyone thinking this is a safe place.”
“Ahh, I understand. You don't want me bringing others with me.”
“I don't want you coming at all,” she countered. Her smile was gone and her soft face was hard.
“But I won't tell anyone. If my parents found out I was here, they'd kill me and I only have one friend and she would never come here, not even if I begged her to. You can trust me. Please, this is the only place I can go where I'm not bothered. The only place I can practice my ability. Beyond that, I feel at home here. I can't explain it but I like the darkness, it gives me peace.” He finished, waiting for her response. He would come here regardless, but it would be easier to do if he had the blessing of those that lived there.
“What's your name?” She asked, surprising him.
“Jax Androni,” he replied and offered his hand in greeting. She shook it and the smile that dazzled him returned.
“How old are you?”
“17,” he replied happily.
“Wow, so young yet you have such a handle on your ability,” she said.
“So, if I promise to keep my visits to myself, can I continue coming?”
“Something tells me that you would come regardless.” Jax laughed a bit this time. She seemed to have him figured out, at least, she thought she did.
“Well, your blessing would be preferred but yes I would come anyway. I don't really listen to what I'm told. My parents can confirm that.” They both laughed and sat in silence for a few minutes.
“If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I mean, you look to be about my age but you say you're the Queen and that you've been here for a while.”
“I'm 20 and no I don't mind you asking. I also don't mind if you come here as long as you keep your end of the deal, only you.”
“Deal,” he replied and they shook hands again.
“I like you Jax Androni. I think we could be friends.”
“Yes, I think we could,” Jax responded and felt an urge inside. It wasn't a foreign urge, he'd felt it for so long but only Annika was able to make him feel it. It was strange to feel it for another girl. He liked it.
After his meeting with Akayleah, Jax came back as much as he possibly could without arousing suspicion. Akayleah didn't always show herself to him, but he always felt her watching. He liked that she watched him. It gave his ego a boost and pushed him to shift into spectacular things. On the days when she would show herself, they would sit and talk for hours. They became friends quickly, and Jax looked forward to their time together. She was his only friend outside of Annika and her brother Denali. Jax liked having something that was his own. His secret. His own friendship that he didn't have to share with anyone, Annika included.
He tried sharing his accomplishments with Annika, but she was unimpressed and most of the time frightened. She had been working on her calming ability and used it regularly on Jax. He worked on shielding that as well. He didn't know why. Annika's ability to alter feelings usually left him feeling peaceful and happy, but lately it just irritated him. She was changing, and he didn't like it.
He rarely saw her after their 18th birthdays, and he missed her greatly. Even his time with Akayleah in the forest didn't fill the void of Annika Levannah. They were both in adulthood now and would be expected to settle down soon. He knew of their parents plan for them to marry, and he was anxious to make her his.
Weeks had passed since their last visit, and Jax was missing Annika. He wondered if she missed him as much. He wondered what she was doing that would keep her away from him for so long. Their time between visits had grown, but this was the longest he's ever gone without seeing her. On a whim, he decided to pay her a visit. He would surprise her.
His heart sank when Mrs. Levannah told him that Annika wasn't home, and she didn't know where she had gone. Jax walked away feeling low. His mind spun a web of scenarios about where she could be and who she could be with. One such thought stuck in his head, was she with another man? Just the idea made Jax's blood boil and stirred feelings that he was careful to keep hidden deep inside. He couldn't keep them repressed this time. The idea of another man stealing her away from Jax was too much and without thinking he went looking for her.
He had no idea where to start, where to look. Annika was adventurous. That was one of their favorite things to do together, go on adventures. They hadn't gone on one together in so long. They were older now, more mature adults, but he knew Annika, and she would always look for her next big adventure.
He couldn't say if it was luck or fate or just coincidence that he found her in the nearby Healer’s village. He was just wandering through the tiny town, thinking about her, when her white hair caught his attention. She was smiling, laughing even, and he was about to call out to her when Jax saw him. James Mender. A Healer. He took it all in: her hand in his, her permanent smile and her giggle every time he spoke, the way he leaned in to talk to her and the look of admiration in her eyes. It wasn't difficult to conclude that Annika had been spending her time with another man, and he was clearly more than a friend. The kiss he gave her broke something inside of Jax. Not his heart, as she had already broken that but something else. He didn't know what it was, but he felt any ounce of good in his body had disappeared, and those dark feelings were taking residence.
The anger he felt was nearly uncontrollable, and he felt his body tremble. He had to get out of there before he shifted and did something he couldn't take back. He ran as quickly as his human legs would carry him with tears burning his face. As soon as he was a safe distance from the village he gave into the urges and shifted into his lion form. He felt most comfortable in this form. As though the feelings he tried to suppress could roam freely in the body of a lion.
He ran to the only place he knew he could be himself. The only place he could release the rage that took over his heart without hurting anyone. He ran to The Dark Forest. He was almost to his spot when he saw her. She was standing there, still as a statue, as though she were waiting for him. As quickly as he shifted to lion, he shifted back to man and ran the rest of the way to her on his human legs. He stopped just before her and knew he should have felt the shame of the tears that stained his face, but he didn't. He was broken in more ways than he could count. He saw the look of concern flash across her face, then without thinking he grabbed her face and kissed her.
It wasn't the tender kiss he had just witnessed between Annika and James. No this kiss was full of fury and passion and need. She kissed him back, matching his intensity but pulled away after a few minutes.
“Jax, what are we doing? What happened to you?” He looked at her, breathless. He wanted her so badly. Wanted her to erase his pain. He wanted her to make the memory of Annika disappear. He wanted her to make him feel sane. He wanted to say all of this, but he couldn't. As soon as his mouth opened the words got stuck, and he began to sob.
She wrapped her arms around him, and they sank to the forest floor. She held him as he cried. She brushed the hair from his face. She kissed the top of his head repeatedly.
She squeezed him tightly whenever the sobs became too hard. After some time went by the quaking of his body slowed, and the quenched sound of his heartbreak quieted. He finally found the words to speak. “I saw Annika with another man.” He was proud he had said the words without breaking into another crying fit yet he didn't move from her embrace. He felt safe in her arms. Secure. Wanted.
Jax had told Akayleah all about his love for Annika and his plans to marry her. It was the reason she had not acted on her own feelings for Jax long before. Though she felt sorry for the man that lay in her arms, she was secretly pleased. She had been waiting for him to come to her, and he finally had. She would heal him. She would show him love.
“Come with me Jax,” she urged as she stood and held her hand out to him. He took it and stood beside her. She didn't release it when he stood instead pulled him behind her.
“Where are we going?” He asked quietly.
“To my home,” she responded before they fell into a comfortable silence.
He followed her willingly deeper into the forest, no words needed to be spoken. He was a broken man who needed mending, and she was the woman to do it. Once they reached her home, she led him inside the giant tree trunk and directly to where she slept. She turned to look at him. He was so handsome. Even with the pain etched into his young face his beauty was there.
“Jax, I'm not going to be anything but honest with you okay?” She said, and he nodded in response. “Okay. You are such a glorious man. I've been watching you since you first came to The Dark Forest. When I first saw you, you were trying to control your shape-shifting. You were so young and naïve, yet strong and intelligent. I wanted you that first day. I've watched you every time you visit and I'm in awe of you.” He stood before her, shocked and confused. How many times had he wanted to hear those exact words from Annika's mouth. Too many to count. Now he was before a beautiful woman. One he thought very highly of and his body reacted to, but he didn't love her. Could he be with her without love? In doing so, would he lose any piece of goodness he had left? Did he really care anymore?
Neveah Box Series (Neveah Box Set Book 5) Page 48