“The day I heard of his death was the day I was reborn. I was dead during my days with Jax. Knowing he still lives now, when I was so relieved he was gone, strikes fear in me every day.”
Reliving her nightmare for Diallo was painful for Fionna, but it was also cathartic. She had expected to see disgust on his face when she confessed to Jax having tainted her, but all she saw was compassion and sympathy. She also saw a hint of animosity in his eyes and heard it in his words.
“He will never get close to you, Fionna. You have my word.” Diallo spoke with conviction and meant what he said as he looked at the tiny woman. Her angelic face melted his heart, and her story broke it. Diallo would give his life before he ever let that man close to her again. He rested a hand gently on her cheek. He felt the tears that were spilling from her wondrous eyes. He could get lost in her eyes and seeing them in so much pain hurt him deeply. He knew it was crazy to feel so strongly for her, they had only known each other a short while, but he couldn’t help what he felt.
“I will never force you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable but I want you to know that I care for you. I want you. When you’re ready I hope you will want me too.” He kissed her softly on the forehead.
“Well, well, well, isn’t that precious.” The voice was coming from behind Fionna, but she knew before looking who it was. She didn’t turn to see the owner of the voice. “What are you doing here, Kelsha?” She asked coldly. Diallo’s hand stiffened and fell from her cheek to her hand. He stood, pulling Fionna up and behind him. She didn’t resist his protection.
“Well, let’s just skip the pleasantries shall we?” Kelsha’s voice was dark as she spoke. “I want my son, Fionna. I trusted him to your care. You are obviously not in Antiope, which means he is here. Now run along and get my boy and I will leave here peacefully.”
As bad as Fionna wanted to stay behind Diallo, she knew she had to face Kelsha. Fionna had been a lot of things, but a coward was not one of them. She stepped out from behind Diallo, whose body stiffened the moment she moved. “It’s alright. I’m alright,” she said to him. She was reassuring him as much as herself. He moved slightly to the side, allowing her to move around him. He didn’t move far though, and stood ready to attack should Kelsha try anything.
Fionna stood bravely and faced Kelsha. “He is not your son. He is not here. Now you run along before I have you removed from the grounds!” Fionna’s voice was low but firm. If she was nervous, it didn’t show. Her voice stayed steady and her eyes never left Kelsha’s. Fionna didn’t allow Kelsha to intimidate her.
Kelsha broke her stare and began laughing wickedly. Her raven hair fell messily around her face, and her eyes were wild. Fionna was always envious of Kelsha. She used to find herself wishing she possessed the long, thick hair, the dark green eyes, the flawless skin, and the curvy body. Fionna always felt inferior in Kelsha’s presence. She knew she was pretty enough, but she wanted to be sexy like Kelsha. Her own hair was white as snow and cropped close to her head. Her body was straight, and her breasts were small. Now, with Diallo standing firmly behind her, protecting her, she didn’t envy Kelsha.
The sexiness Fionna admired was replaced with insanity. Kelsha was dark, tainted, vengeful, but not sexy. She came to stand close to Fionna. Her face inches away. She could smell her sweet breath. Though Kelsha stood much taller than Fionna, she stood tall and matched the woman’s chilly demeanor. “I must admit I was wrong about you, Fionna,” Kelsha said quietly. She didn’t need to speak loudly to be startling.
“How’s that, Kelsha? Please do tell me how you were wrong about me?” Fionna replied sarcastically.
“Well, I always knew you were a follower. Unable to make your own decisions and that was good for me. You’re like a loyal pet, always eager to please. You don’t possess the ability to gain people’s attention by your looks. You have to force affection on men. I feel bad for you really, unable to have a man truly love you? That really is sad. I never thought you were stupid though. I was wrong.”
Fionna felt a slight adjustment in Diallo, and her heart swelled with pride knowing he cared for her. He cared for her without her having to use her power on him. To Diallo, she was beautiful and good and kind. Knowing he was there with her, ready to stand for her, gave her all the strength she needed to go up against Kelsha.
“You’re boring me, Kelsha. You see I don’t care what you think. I don’t care what you want. I do not follow orders from you anymore. I am not your pet. You don’t scare me, Kelsha.”
“Is that so? Oh, I see. You have this man smitten with you. That is where your newfound stupidity has come from. He really is handsome,” Kelsha said. Her voice was poised for seduction. She moved from Fionna to Diallo. “Yes, you are very handsome indeed. I could run my fingers through that tousle of blond hair all night long. Oh, and look at those eyes. A woman could get lost in those deep eyes.” She moved closer to Diallo so her breasts were pressing against his chest. “Oh, you are strong aren’t you?” She let her finger caress his cheek. “I bet I could teach you a few things about how to please a woman.” She moved her free hand around his body and cupped his ass, squeezing tight, pulling him to her.
Fionna felt sick to her stomach as she watched Kelsha seduce Diallo. Once again, she felt inferior to the monster. She felt blood coursing through her veins and rage welling up inside her. She wanted so badly to stand strong against Kelsha. She wanted to play the game more intelligently. She knew Kelsha was trying to get a rise out of Fionna, and her plan was working. Just as Fionna turned, ready to attack the bitch, she heard Diallo speak. His voice was soft, calm, but forceful.
“I would not enter your wicked body if you were the last woman in Neveah. You think highly of yourself don’t you? You think every man is falling over their feet to get a taste of you? I’m sorry to disappoint you, my dear but you repulse me. Now, kindly get your filthy hands and your tainted breasts off of me.”
“I get it. You don’t want to hurt your little girlfriend’s feelings. That’s alright. I know you want me. Every man does. Why fuck that little girl when you can have a woman like me? You know of her powers don’t you? She can make you fall in love with her just by touching you. Is that what she has done? Come with me, baby, you will fall in love with me. I promise.”
“I will not allow you to speak of Fionna that way. She is more of a woman than you could ever hope to be. Her beauty isn’t only skin deep, such as yours. She is beautiful and sexy to look at but she is also beautiful on the inside. You see, sweetheart, you can only get by on your looks for so long before people start to see who you really are. How sad to know that the only way you can get a man to love you is to sex him into a stupor. You will never know real love. Real compassion, or have real feelings. You should really feel sorry for yourself, Kelsha. Now back off of me!”
Kelsha stepped back and focused her attention back to Fionna. “Get my son, Fionna, or you will be sorry.”
“I told you he is not here and you will never get close to him. I think you have embarrassed yourself enough, Kelsha, you should leave now before you are humiliated further.”
Kelsha backed away from Fionna and pulled a matchbox out from between her breasts. In one swift motion she struck the match, allowing a flame to spring to life. She dropped the match in the bush beside her, causing it to light up. “This is a preview of what I will do to this place if my son is not here when I return. I will return and when I do I think I will take your boy toy just for fun.”
Fionna swiftly moved to Kelsha and let her hand assault Kelsha’s face. Her hand stung from the slap, but she felt relief when she saw the red hand print across her pretty face. “This is your last chance, bitch! Get out of here or I will cause your pretty face great pain.” Fionna’s blood was like electricity in her body. She didn’t know if she could overpower Kelsha, but she would enjoy trying. To her surprise, Kelsha backed away. Seconds later she was gone.
Fionna turned to find Diallo dousing the fire with water from the pond. She help
ed him. Minutes later the fire was out. Diallo grabbed Fionna by the waist and without thinking, kissed her hard on the lips. “You are beautiful, Fionna. Beautiful and sexy, good and loving. I know you have the power to force me to love you, but you don’t need it. I love you anyway. I know it’s crazy, but when I first saw you I knew I loved you. I’m grateful you came to us, Fionna. I’m grateful you came to me.”
Fionna knew he meant his words and for the first time in her life she allowed herself to fully trust someone. “I am quite sure I love you too, Diallo.” She kissed him softly to prove it. “Now we have to go warn everyone. I don’t think it’s safe for us to stay here. I know Lady Levannah doesn’t want to leave but we must.”
“Yes, I agree, Fionna. Come on, let’s go find everyone.”
The two walked hand in hand into the manor. Thoughts of Kelsha front and center on their minds, but their newly proclaimed love took front stage in their hearts.
~Chapter Eleven~
We all sat and listened to Diallo and Fionna tell the story of Kelsha’s visit. They had decided collectively, with my meme, that they were not safe at the Levannah Manor. Though I thought from the beginning that we should all stay together, and was relieved to have my meme with me, I was not as thrilled about Fionna. I was grateful to her, of course, and had been the one that asked her to stay in the first place, but it was difficult to suppress the jealousy, the feeling of betrayal. I wanted so badly to like Fionna. I respected her. I was thankful to her, and I really hated feeling jealous of her.
Both Shep and Fionna had done their best to assure me that there was nothing between them, and she didn’t seem to be interested in Shep. On the contrary, she was obviously head over heels crazy about Diallo. Their stolen glances, gentle touches, and whispers to each other all spoke of a new and innocent relationship. I was happy for them, I was happy for me. As selfish as it sounds, if Fionna was interested in Diallo, I wouldn’t have to worry about her wanting Shep. I told myself to make more of an effort to forget about their time together, though I knew that was going to be next to impossible, I had to try. I told Shep I had forgiven him, and I had but the jealousy, it was a strong emotion.
“Lilly.” Shep’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. Oh crap, I missed half of what they were saying. Kelsha came to the Levannah Manor, Fionna said she didn’t know where James was, and Kelsha threatened harm if he was not returned to her. Everyone thought it was safer to leave the house before Kelsha returned. If there were details in the story, I missed them. I had the basics. What more did I need to know? I shrugged to myself and brushed off the guilt of having been in my own head when I should have been listening.
“Lilly. Do you have news as well?” It was Shep again. “Uh, yeah I do.” I stood to clear my head. I had to focus, tell the story. Speaking of Jax was not going to be easy. Everyone in Neveah feared him and though everyone in that room knew he lived, no person wanted his life brought to reality. Kelsha was bad enough.
“Well, when we went to retrieve Aubrey from Raven Island, I ran into Jax,” I began and heard multiple sharp intakes of breath as everyone gasped in horror.
“What do you mean you ‘ran into Jax’?” Shep asked, his tone hard. Rage flickered in his eyes.
“I was waiting for your mom. The cave was too small for us to both go in,” I began and took a deep breath to steady my nerves. All eyes were on me. All ears were open and listening. All hearts were beating wildly at the thought of Jax getting close to any one of us. I had to tell the story quickly. Like a band aid, it may sting worse, but faster is better.
“He approached me while I was waiting for Leah to get Aubrey from the cave. I am not sure where he came from. I felt like someone was watching me and was keeping a close eye on my surroundings. He just sort of appeared. He wasn’t the same Jax though. He is easily recognizable, but his face has altered a little. He spoke wickedly, threatened our family and me, but there was something different. He lacked the confidence of a mad man. He tried to hide it, which just made his weakness more visible. He is still a danger though, but I think Kelsha is the puppet master. The one to be most feared. She wants James and he seems to be willing to do anything to help Kelsha get our son.”
I looked at Shep, who had been holding my hand. The anger was there still, but I saw worry and regret in his eyes, written on his face. “I don’t know how he found me but he seems to be watching. I think we need to discuss moving again. Any suggestions on a safe place?”
Murmur’s broke out as people discussed the stories they had been told. Kelsha’s visit. Jax’s visit. Moving would be more difficult with our large group, but not impossible, definitely necessary. I looked at Shep again who seemed to be contemplating an idea. His face was twisted as though he were fighting a war inside. “Shep. Are you alright?” I asked and squeezed his hand to let him know I was there for him. He looked at me and his mouth turned up slightly. “Yeah Lill, I’m ok, but I don’t think you’re going to be thrilled about our new home.” He turned from me and addressed everyone else.
“Excuse me! Excuse me! I have something to say.” Everyone stopped their conversations and turned to Shep. Wide, curious eyes focused on him. They all wanted someone to tell them what to do, where to go. Shep seemed to have an idea. Therefore, all attention was on him, including mine.
“I think it is safe to assume that we are not safe here. Not only is safety a concern, but this place, while beautiful…” he said and smiled at his mother before he continued. He was warming up his audience. He was so charismatic all the time. I felt my heart swell with pride as he took control and spoke with authority. My Shep, little Shep, the rambunctious boy, the adventurous teenager, Shep was not a boy anymore. He was a man. I missed it before, but now I saw it. The innocence of the boy I loved had been stolen. He was authoritative, a leader, a brave and honest man, but a man. Not a boy. I was damn proud of that man as I watched him speak.
“We need a place that will provide safety as well as enough space to train fighters. I am sorry to say that I helped train Kelsha’s army. I was their leader. It makes me sick inside knowing what I created but at least I know what we are up against. I know what must be taught in order for us to win. Once we have gathered volunteers to fight I will need space to train them. We will need housing for them and housing for us. We need a safe place.” He was dancing around his words. He seemed afraid to say them out loud.
“I assume you have a place in mind, son?” Leah asked, encouraging him to continue before he lost everyone’s attention.
“Yes, I do. We will move to Jax’s old compound,” he proclaimed confidently. The room burst into a variety of no’s, now way’s, and are you crazy’s while others sat with their mouth hung open in shock. His eyes met mine and were begging me to believe in him. To trust in him. “Are you crazy?” I whispered.
“Maybe, but I know this is the right move to make. Please, Lilly, trust me.”
“I will trust you, but you need to know that I am not happy about this! Shit! I don’t want to live in that fucking place.” My fist found my chest where it rubbed the bone between my breasts. I had realized recently that when I was on the brink of a breakdown, that helped calm my nerves. I took a few deep breaths and looked at Shep to confirm that I would back him up. He smiled at me, thankful to have me by his side.
“I like it when you say fuck. It reminds me that while your soft and loving, your tough and brave too. It always reminds me of what I daydream about doing to you,” he whispered in my ear. I felt heat rising to my cheeks and was sure they were glowing crimson. “Well, if you're moving me to that compound be prepared to hear it a lot because I am tough and brave and pissed off. Also because I want to make sure you’re always thinking about what you want to do to me.”
“Damn, Lilly. I love you. I promise this is the best place for now.”
“I love you too, Shep and I trust you. You might have a harder time getting them to go along with it. Go on, be charming. Get us to safety. You can do it.” He explained his reasoning
to all of us. He knew the compound, it was large enough to hold all the people we needed to train, and it was the last place anyone would think to look for us. His reasons were solid and convincing. A few minutes later we were packing our things: destination Hell.
~Chapter Twelve~
Kelsha left Fionna feeling pure rage for the stupid little woman. How dare she stand against Kelsha. Had she learned nothing about the danger that Kelsha could inflict on her. She could have snapped her pretty little neck back there if she wanted, but she needed Fionna for now. She was the only one that could tell Kelsha where they had taken James. She hoped they were still in Neveah and the feeling deep in her belly told her they were still there.
She met Jax in Antiope. He hadn’t told her where he was going and she didn’t care to question him. She was focused on getting to Fionna. Now that they had both returned, empty handed, her curiosity of his little trip got the better of her.
“Where did you run off to today, Jax?” She asked and was annoyed at the slight whine she heard in her voice. Her need for him made her feel weak at times. She didn’t like to feel weak and she surely didn’t want anyone, even Jax, to see her weakness. She straightened her back in an attempt at appearing indifferent, not a loving little sap that actually cared where he was.
He saw through her charade and laughed to himself. Seeing her all worked up over his whereabouts gave his man ego a jolt. She always made him feel wanted even when she was trying to do otherwise. He smiled at her and could see her impatience growing.
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