“I went to find Lilly,” he said passively.
“You what? Why? How did you know where to find her?” Kelsha was angry that he had gone without her. She was angrier that he was able to find the girl without Kelsha’s help.
“If you went to her, where is James?” She spat. He snickered at her and felt the heat rise inside of him when he witnessed the flash of fury that crossed her face when he openly laughed at her. He could see her intensity grow and relished in it for just a bit before easing her obviously frayed nerves.
“I figured they would not stay at the Levannah Manor with the baby. I remembered Lilly having a connection to the Fey Calista, and that her grandfather had Fey blood and that the evil you are spreading through the land killed him. I put it together and guessed that she would go to rescue the other Fey in Neveah. I honestly got lucky when I found her on Raven Island. I didn’t really expect to find her there.”
“Well? Did she have James with her?” Kelsha demanded.
“No. She was alone outside of Aubrey’s little cave.”
“Did you kill her?” Kelsha’s voice was lower now, less fiery but still intense. She had to admit that Lilly being out of the way would make this whole war easily won, but she wanted to be the one to do it. She was relieved when Jax shook his head no. He didn’t kill her.
“I figured it was best to keep her alive, for now. What fun would it be to kill the beloved ‘chosen one’ now, before we get to play the game? I just instilled a little needed fear into the girl. She is more tenacious than I expected. She was good at pretending that I didn’t frighten her but I saw it there, deep in her eyes. She tries to be tough, but she is a scared little girl.”
“Yeah, that is all well and fine but did she tell you where James is?” Jax shook his head in disbelief. Kelsha saw through a tunnel at times. She was failing to see the bigger picture.
“No, she would not give up their location but she was more than happy to tell me how she was going to kill me and then you,” he laughed at the memory of Lilly’s porcelain face, so delicate, so angry. “What I do know, however, is that they are rallying the troops, so to say. I am almost positive that they will be traveling to different villages in Neveah in an attempt at getting Neveahian’s to join the fight.”
Kelsha had forced her fury back inside and was beginning to understand what Jax was saying. No, he had not returned with her son, but he did return with helpful information.
“You have a plan I assume,” she asked, and he was disappointed and relieved that her tone had returned to normal. He liked when she was angry, but he was equally happy that she was catching on.
“We meet them along the way. My guess is they will go to Gwendolyn first. The Levannah’s have always had a close relationship with the elves. I am sure the elves will be eager to fight given I took their Serephina’s life. That was a shame really, but necessary.” He thought back on the day he killed the pretty little elf. It was brilliant really. Easy. He went to her as Avery, her father, and she had fallen for it so easily. She told Jax everything he needed to know without giving it a second thought. When he phased back to himself, he was pleased to see the shock and terror on her face. She tried to run. She tried to scream. She really did fight with all her strength, but what is an elf to a skin walker? She was not challenging at all. When Jax took her life he actually felt cheated at having taken it so easily. He looked forward to meeting her family. He was sure they would fight with vengeance, hopefully being a worthy opponent.
Kelsha had been listening in on his thoughts. She rather enjoyed listening to him recount the day he killed the purple haired elf girl. She was grateful Jax had killed the girl. She was sure she had figured out Kelsha’s relationship with Jax, and she would have told everyone eventually. Yes, her death was necessary for both Jax and Kelsha.
“My, you are an intelligent man, Jax. What would I do without you? Here I am so focused on only James when I should be seeing the big picture, but you do that for me. Going to Gwendolyn is brilliant love! I don’t think we should show ourselves though. We should attack from afar. Scare them.” He heard the excitement of their new mission in her voice. They sat together and made their plan. Two minds, corrupted and twisted, working together to stoke the fires of fear in their precious Neveahian’s. Together they were more than just evil, they were wicked and malicious. The things they could accomplish when their malevolent minds, meshed together, was astounding.
“We really do work well together don’t we?” Kelsha asked, proud of their plan and antsy to implement their wrath of fear.
“Yes, we are wonderful,” Jax responded, his crimson lips curved into a wicked smile. Kelsha knew that smile. It was the smile that caused her femininity to warm up. All it took was that smile to turn her blood to molten lava, flowing to her only sensitive spot. She relished that feeling. Nothing felt better than the moments just before lovemaking. When her body catches fire, and her heart speeds up in anticipation and her rapid breath makes it nearly impossible to speak. Yes, thinking about that smile and things that mouth does to her body excites her, almost more than the idea of being all powerful.
“Kelsha, my love, what are you thinking? You have that look in your eye,” Jax teased. He sat unmoving across the table from her. She had excited him with her anger, and he had been suppressing the urge to ravage her, knowing she needed to have a plan in place before she allowed him to touch her. He knew the game to play and judging by her lustful face, he played it right. It was her turn to suppress the urges that were running rampant through her body. Her anger turned him on but her lust for him really induced his need to pillage her, body and soul.
“I am thinking that your smile is enticing. I am thinking of the things I would do to your mouth and the things that mouth could do to me,” she said nearly breathlessly yet she sat across from him, unmoving.
“What kinds of things?” He asked, feeling his own breath catch.
“Come over here, I will show you,” she begged.
“Oh no, it’s not going to be that easy, sweetheart. I want to hear you say the words.”
“You are such a sadist.”
“And you are such a tease.”
“First I want to taste your lips on mine. I want to nibble your perfect mouth until I taste your blood. When I have had my fill of your mouth I will encourage you to pleasure my entire body with that sensual, awe inspiring mouth.”
“Only my mouth, love? My manhood is wounded.”
“Now, Jax, you know I crave you. All of you. I promise to return the favor of ecstasy.”
He could no longer resist. She could no longer resist. As though they could read each other’s minds, they both stood and stripped down to nothing. Moments later they were loving and abusing each other’s bodies as only they knew how. For every bite and slap Kelsha gave, Jax responded with pinching and hair pulling. The louder Kelsha moaned, the higher pitched her scream, the harder Jax loved her. She begged him to stop and to keep going in the same breath. He held her arms above her head with one hand and cradled her neck, entangled in her hair, with the other, squeezing slightly more than gently. She alternated pushing him away while holding him closer her legs always betraying her sense of pain, opening, begging for more.
“Ahhhhh, don’t stop!” She screamed as her fingernails dug into the flesh of his back. His hips moved faster, pounding harder into her. When her body began to tremble and convulse he moved faster, harder. When her legs gave up and tried to push him away, he forced them out, still taking what was his. “Not yet, baby. I am not done with you yet.”
Her body slowly stopped trembling, and he took that opportunity to flip her over and take her from behind. She allowed her own fingers to fondle her sweet spot as he pulled her head back by her hair and found his own release. He collapsed on top of her weaving his hands between her body and the floor until her breasts were resting on his hands. He squeezed them gently as his body quaked with his own pleasure.
Once his senses returned to normal he whisp
ered in her ear, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she said in response.
He rolled off of her onto his back where he lay still trying to catch his breath. She turned over to him, nestling her head on his chest. They stayed in that position, too tired and used up to move.
Kelsha woke early the next morning and dressed in a hurry. The commotion woke Jax, and he opened one eye to see her bustling around the Inn room. She was dressed and appeared to be packing. “What are you doing, love? Come back to me.”
“Good, you’re awake. We need to go. I want to get to Gwendolyn and have a look around before our friends arrive.” She was speaking quickly, urging him to get up and ready.
“Kelsha, we don’t even know when they are going to arrive. It could be days,” he countered.
“Exactly, Jax, we have no idea. They could be there now, although I don’t believe they are. The point is we have to always be ahead of them. Now get up, this is not a debate. I am leaving with or without you.” She was in no mood to play his game. She was antsy to get moving. She wanted their elf surprise to be smooth. In order to do that they had to plan, and they had to go. He was still watching her with amusement when she slung her little bag over her shoulder and gave him a look of sheer annoyance, which made him laugh. It also made him get up. “I’ll wait downstairs for a short time, but if you’re not there, I will leave you behind.”
“Yeah, I got it. I’ll be there,” he said between chuckles. His laughter was erasing any trace of patience she had left. She shook her head in irritated disbelief and left the room. The man was amazingly sexy and beyond exasperating, but Kelsha was nothing if not a determined woman, and she was determined to win this fight and get her baby. In order for that to happen, she had to always be ahead of her comrades. She had to follow through with all of her plans, and she had to do it perfectly. As much as her body longed to crawl in beside that beautiful naked man, her brain told her it was time to go. Just a feeling deep in her belly, nothing solid telling her to move, but she knew it was time. She wouldn’t let Jax hold her up, though she sincerely hoped he hurried. She really didn’t want to leave him behind. He had been by her side for long enough that she felt unguarded without him.
Much to her relief it only took a few moments for him to appear in the main room of the Inn. “Nice of you to join me,” she said and winked at him. He smiled his boyish smile, and it erased any sign of age on his handsome face. Obviously, she had pleased him greatly the night before because he was in a strangely good mood. His smile and laughter in his eyes were refreshing to Kelsha but didn’t deter her thoughts from what had to be done.
“You really are a handsome man, Jax and I plan to take advantage of you but not now. Come on. We have a journey ahead of us.” She left him standing there, still smiling, and only mildly shocked by her words. He didn’t need to respond. She knew he wanted her. He shook his head and forced his mind to concentrate on the big picture. There would be plenty of time for bedroom games later.
Seconds later he was behind her and soon they were heading straight to Gwendolyn.
~Chapter Thirteen~
Trying to make a home at the compound was more than a little difficult. I had no desire to be near that place, let alone live there. So many horrible things took place in that compound. Every time I passed the hallway to the dungeon, I remembered my mother and father. Thinking of them being held hostage in that place was not the way I wanted to remember them, yet I was being reminded of their horrific experience daily.
I found it almost impossible to be around Shep and not think about his time there with Kelsha. With Fionna. Knowing he had been intimate with Fionna in the confines of these walls broke my heart every time I looked at him. I had forgiven Shep and Fionna, but forgetting was proving to be harder and harder. Being forced to set up a temporary home in the place they had played house in was unbearable. I tried to put on a brave face.
We had things far more important to focus on. I couldn't allow my bruised heart to lead me or anyone else astray. I came to Neveah for two reasons: get my son and stop Kelsha. There was no time for me to give Shep and Fionna's relationship, or lack of, a second thought. I put all my energy into James and planning. I also avoided Shep as much as possible, until I could avoid him no longer.
“Lilly! Wait for me!” I heard him call out. I was heading to the garden. I had to clear my head. I was spending a majority of my time with Denali, planning. Shep was there as well, but I found it easier to forget about him while I was focused on what must be done. I also found it easier to regard him as nothing more than an ally while I worked with Denali. Though he was never rude to Shep, and he had also forgiven him, it was obvious Denali was protective of me. He knew being in that place was going to be hard for me. He let it be known by the slightest shift of his eyes and unspoken words that he was watching Shep. That was comforting to me. He always looked out for me much like I was sure he would have looked out for my mother.
After hours of planning, Denali suggested we take a break. Vivianna had been standing quietly beside Denali, and I was sure they wanted some time alone. You could see the fear of the future in my aunt's emerald eyes. She would not go with us. She would stay behind with Michael and care for James. I knew how worried she was about Denali as she always worried when he was away. I made a silent promise to myself to make sure he made it home safe to her.
With Denali stealing time away to be with Vivianna, I felt the walls close around me. I had avoided Shep's touch all day and while he went to the kitchen to get us a drink, I decided to slip outside. I needed time away from him. From those walls. It's as if the walls were constantly whispering in my ears “Come on Lilly, the dungeon, let’s go to the dungeon” and “You can try but you can't stop seeing Shep with Fionna can you? Come on take a look”. I felt my mind slipping away. I had to get away from the compound’s whispers. I thought I made a stealthy escape, but I was wrong.
“Shep, I'm sorry I just need a few minutes alone. Away from that place. That little spot of Hell,” I said nearly pleading with him to go away.
“I don't think you should be out here alone,” he began before I cut him off.
“Look, I can take care of myself, Shep. I have been caring for myself for quite some time now. I am not helpless and I don't need your damn protection so please leave me the hell alone!” I spat at him feeling heat rising in my cheeks. My heart was beginning to go haywire, and my body was trembling. I couldn't explain my anger. Shep didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, he had been trying to do everything right. Yet I felt a fury I had never felt before.
“Have I done something wrong, Lilly?” He asked carefully. Just the condescending tone of his voice grated my nerves. When I looked at him, his concerned eyes, his soft expression ignited a fire inside of me.
“Oh no, Shep, you are ever the gentleman! I mean you have been so sweet here, in this place, the place where you made love to another woman,” my words were spoken with contempt. “How could you bring me here? How could you bring me to the place you played house with Fionna? How the hell can you rationalize that this, all of this, is ok?” I screamed while waving my arms like a mad lady. The look on his face changed from loving, caring, and concerned to shocked, irritated, and then down right pissed. I watched as he ran his hand through his hair as he always did when he was frustrated. He began to pace as though he was thinking carefully about what he should say next. Clearly, I was a ticking time bomb, and I was ready to explode.
“What? You have nothing to say for yourself huh? Did you enjoy your time here? Is that it? Being here reminds you of your time with her and you miss that. Is that why you would bring me to this God forsaken place?” I didn't know at the time, but I was looking for a fight. I needed to fight him. I was irrational, and my words had no truth to them. At least, that is what my brain said, but my heart had other ideas. The image of Shep and Fionna embraced haunted me every minute, pushing me to hysteria. I had been so understanding, so forgiving, so accepting, so far in den
ial it was sickening. I was not over Shep and Fionna. I was not over him leaving me. I ran all the reasons why he did what he did through my brain over and over. I understood. I was not stupid. I just couldn't suppress my own feelings. I was jealous of Fionna. I lost Shep so soon after our first time, our marriage. She had him for so long.
Part of me couldn't believe that they were both so willing to walk away from each other. That after all that time they didn't yearn for one another. How could any woman be with Shep and not yearn for him? And Fionna being so beautiful herself, how could Shep not be attracted to her?
“Are you serious right now, Lilly? I thought we were past this?” He said, trying to keep his voice even.
“Oh, you would like it if I could just get past this wouldn't you? That would be so easy for you!”
“Easy? You think this is easy for me? I spent a lot of time in this place, Lilly. I did terrible things for Kelsha, things I wish I could erase from my memory. I have tried so hard to keep those things out of my mind. Coming here allows those things back in, but I know this is the best place for us right now, the safest place.”
“You think this place is hard for you, Shep? Imagine having to live in a place where I gave my body to another man. Allowed another man to touch me, to please me, to love me,” the words were coming fast and without much thought, but I was trying to make him jealous. That much I knew.
“Ahhh, you're killing me, Lilly, you know that? I did things far worse than Fionna! I followed Kelsha's every command! I trained an army to destroy your family! I kidnapped my own child for Christ’s sake, Lilly and all you care about is me having sex with Fionna!” He yelled back at me and every emotion that I felt over that last year came flooding through me, every pain, every sorrow, every worry, and the betrayal. Hearing him say Fionna and sex in the same sentence and demeaning my insecurities pushed me over the edge. If someone had told me I was crying, I wouldn't have believed them because in that moment all I felt was contempt and before I knew what I was doing my hand reached out and skid across his cheek. I instantly felt the sting of the slap. I dismissed it and planted both hands on his chest and pushed with all my strength. I was ready to attack him again when he grabbed my arms and held them tight. The harder I fought the harder he held me.
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