The Reformation of Marli Meade

by Tracy Hewitt Meyer

  “No, of course not,” I said, my jaw set.

  Heather shrugged one slender shoulder, glossy brown hair falling down her back. “It would bother me.”

  “Then why would you do it to me if you wouldn’t want someone doing it to you? Or just stand there as someone else does it?”

  We studied each other in silence.

  “I don’t know,” Heather admitted. “Better you than me, I guess.”

  “Why does it have to be either one?”

  Heather snorted. “Because that’s life and it’s a dog-eat-dog world.” She studied her makeup in the mirror. “Don’t you think?”

  I studied her makeup too. It was more tastefully applied than Janelle’s, with softer tones and less glaring colors. Heather was pretty with perfect hair and a slender, perfect body that looked good in tight jeans and girly blouses. What would my own body look like in tight jeans like that?

  I sighed.

  Heather gathered the remaining makeup and slid the contents into a small black and white bag with a picture of the Eiffel Tower on the side. She walked toward the door and stopped, hand on the knob. “Are you really getting married?”

  I did not want to have this conversation, especially with Heather. The memory of mocking laughter, as real as if it was coming through the intercom, filled my ears.

  “If it is, I’m sorry to hear that. I’m sure it can’t be easy.”

  “No, it’s not easy.” The words came out more choked than I would’ve preferred.

  “Do you at least like the guy?”

  I shook my head.

  “Is there nothing you can do?”

  I thought about the Church on the Mountain, the tight hold it and my family had on the lives of the people on the mountain, especially on me. I thought about the stories of the old punishings and of Mary, about Josiah’s desperation to break free.

  The problem was, there wasn’t anything I could do. Could I become emancipated, like Nate? I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

  “Nothing that I’ve been able to come up with.”

  “I would run away. There’s no way anyone could make me get married. I’m getting out of this hellhole of a town and going to New York as soon as I graduate. No one could make me do anything I didn’t want to do.”

  Was that true?

  Heather pulled open the door. “Whatever. I hope you find some way to get out of it. You’re too young to get married.”

  I watched her in silence.

  “And despite what Janelle keeps saying, you’re pretty. I’m sure there are many guys who would beat down your door if you got out of this marriage.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered. I already had a guy I wanted.

  The door closed, leaving me in the cool quiet of the bathroom. I walked to the mirror and gazed at my reflection, studying my thick brown brows, the slight scattering of freckles across my thin nose, my round, dark eyes. I might be considered pretty. Nate called me beautiful and I believed he meant it. But was I pretty by normal standards?

  Maybe. I was swallowed up by the ugly clothes and the hair that could use inches off and a proper style. But I was pretty.

  It surprised me to think so. If it weren’t for my lips…

  A pop of color caught my attention. I looked down to find Heather’s lip gloss lying on the sink. I pulled off the cap, revealing a pretty shade of pink with a hint of shimmer. There was just a quarter inch left and after a quick glance toward the door, I smoothed it over my lips. I looked at my reflection.

  Who was that girl?

  The gloss didn’t make my lips look funny, didn’t make the top one stand out in an ugly way. Instead, it brightened my entire face. I looked like the same Marli Meade, but a newer, fresher version.

  I pocketed the lipstick and returned to class.

  THE NEXT MORNING, I gazed down at my body, imagining how it would feel to take a sharp pair of scissors to the frumpy skirt and blouse I wore, shredding them into a dozen pieces. The shoes? I would throw them into the fire.

  I pulled out Heather’s lip gloss.

  “What are you doing?” Edna’s voice was scratchy, abrasive.

  I hadn’t heard the bedroom door open. My hand fell to my side, the gloss disappearing within the clutch of my fist. “Getting ready…for school.”

  “It is the work of the devil to stare at yourself like that.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I know.” I scrambled for possible explanations. “I was just trying to decide when I’ll need bigger clothes. I know Betty Jean needs time to make them.”

  Charles walked up behind Edna. He stayed silent, eyes round and fixed.

  “Hi, Father.”

  He didn’t respond.

  The two stared at me, male-female mirror images—both cold, distant, almost reptilian in their stillness.

  The lipstick was growing slippery in my sweaty palm. Why were they staring at me like that?

  Neither blinked as their gazes remained rooted and immobile.

  “Grandmother?” I prompted, my voice barely above a whisper.

  After one slow closing and opening of her lids, Edna spat her command. “Come. We are leaving.”

  I made one last effort to smooth my hair then grabbed my bag, sliding the gloss into my pocket. I ignored the shaking in my fingers…and my soul. How they managed, after sixteen years of coexistence, to send my sense of peace into a tailspin with a simple glance was a mystery. But they did, nearly every time they cast their gazes my way.

  I took several deep breaths as we squeezed into Charles’s truck, me sandwiched in the middle like a helpless bird.

  I wanted to ask why Edna was going to town. Once every two weeks Edna went to the grocery store after Charles dropped me off at school. But she’d just gone a few days ago, and I had never once known her to return for any reason before the next scheduled trip.

  But the words didn’t form. Instinct told me to keep my mouth shut and my head down, so I stared at the ill-fitting clogs on my feet instead. Edna’s loud, nasally breathing put me on edge, though. Charles’s tense posture didn’t help. My own breath came in shallow spurts.

  I yearned to tap my foot or drum my fingers. The drive was taking forever, far longer than it should. It felt like hours…days…nearly a lifetime passed since Charles had backed out of the driveway. Maybe it was just the close proximity to Charles and Edna. Maybe there really was no air in this truck.

  I suppressed a long sigh of relief when we finally arrived at school. But it was short-lived. Edna did not return to her seat in the truck like she should’ve.

  “Grandmother?” I swallowed.

  “I want to ensure that my granddaughter’s education is up to the standards of our heavenly church. I also want to reassure the Stones should they have further concerns. I will be shadowing you all day.”

  She had never once come with me to school. Ever.

  A black haze worked its way into my bloodstream, coursing through me until I felt like ashes and nothing more.

  Edna pursed her lips. “Is there a problem?”

  Charles pulled away, leaving us alone on the sidewalk.

  “No, ma’am.” I cleared my throat.

  “Well, it makes no difference. If this is a good school that can help keep our values intact and uncorrupted, then there should be no concern. I’m sure there is nothing in your behavior to cause me to worry.”

  Edna’s eyes skewered me with their intensity.

  “I just don’t think you’ll like it here,” I said. “It’s loud and dirty and some of the students are a little wild. I have learned to ignore it. I would hate for you to think that I am more influenced than I am by their behavior.” As the plan of defense started to unfold, so did my flood of words. “I know how to handle it. I don’t mix with the regular students. Polly and I are very much a team when it comes to making it through the school day. We even spend lunch going over Bible verses and quizzing each other on the message from Sunday’s sermons.” I felt triumphant, like I had given a strong, logical rebut
tal to Edna’s concerns.

  But Edna’s stark stare penetrated my defenses, causing a crack within my resolve.

  Had Edna heard something or seen something to bring on this new concern about school? Or was it just a way to appease my future in-laws?

  “Let’s go,” Edna said.

  “Okay.” I led Edna into the school on feet heavier than if there was a ten-ton boulder anchoring my heels to the ground.

  I scanned the hall for any sign of Nate.

  Please let him not be at my locker.

  He wasn’t there.

  “This is my locker.” I showed off the neat, tidy interior. There were no forbidden pictures of rock stars or Hollywood actresses; no drugs or condoms or forbidden books. It wasn’t even dusty. It was sparse, a haven for textbooks, notebooks, and a small pencil case. That was it.

  Edna said nothing as the bell clanged overhead and the hall became awash with students.

  “Um, I can show you Principal Turner’s office, if you’d like. Or you can come with me, I guess.” Nate was in my first class but I didn’t see him, so maybe he wasn’t coming to school today. That thought brought its own set of worries, though. He had just returned home. Had something happened already?

  Edna studied the students.

  “I don’t think Polly is here today. At least I don’t see her, but her locker is here beside mine.” I tapped the door with my knuckles. “And we have most classes together.”

  Soon the halls began to thin. “Her family has decided to spend their day in prayer.”

  “Oh.” It must have something to do with Mary.

  “I will meet with the principal. I know the way.” She took off at a brisk pace toward the end of the hall. Had Edna been to the school before? If so, when? I had no knowledge of her ever setting foot on the school’s property.

  The thought of Edna sneaking into the school to spy on me sent ice cold prickles up and down my skin. When the tardy bell rang, I darted toward class but couldn’t stop the shivers that rattled through me. I stumbled as I made my way to my desk, grasping the edge of the wooden surface as I sank into the hard seat.

  A classmate leaned over. “Are you all right? You don’t look so good.”

  I forced a smile, wiping the perspiration on my forehead. “I’m fine. Thank you.” After the girl turned away, I scanned the room. Neither Polly nor Nate was there. This was turning into an unsettling day. In fact, many strange and unsettling things had been happening lately.

  I DIDN’T SEE Edna again. She didn’t pop up in my morning classes nor did she come to my locker between periods. I caught a glimpse of Nate but only because of his hat. He’d been rounding the corner as the tardy bell rang. We waved but that was it.

  At lunch, I searched for Edna. Just as I was about to go back inside, Nate popped up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close.

  I shot out of his arms like a silver bullet. “I can’t talk to you today. Edna’s here.”

  Nate took several steps back and turned sideways so he wasn’t facing me directly. “Why?” There was an urgency to his words.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Does she usually come to school with you?”

  “No, never.”

  “Sometimes I wish I was still at the Stones’ house.”

  “Did something happen at home?”

  “No. So I could listen, maybe pick up some information. They like to talk. If something’s going on with your church, they’d probably know about it and say something.”

  “It does feel like something is about to happen.”

  “Like…?”

  “Like…I don’t know! That’s just the problem. First, they make me get engaged. Then there’s something going on with Polly’s sister.”

  I headed toward a picnic table, pulled out a textbook and sat, looking down at its opened pages. Nate got the hint and a couple of minutes later, he walked to the next picnic table. Our backs were to each other but we were only two feet apart.

  Nate was quiet but I could feel his presence, like the air was charged with a different energy—a necessary energy—when he was around.

  “I was going to come to the mountain and meet you again tomorrow morning, but I don’t think I should. It seems like it’s too dangerous.”

  I wanted to shake him. “Not an option. You are the only bright spot in my life.” I felt no shame in revealing that to him. Now was not the time for fluff and innuendo. My life was about to change for the worse, and if I was going to live at all before then, I had to scrape past the unnecessary. “You have to come. Besides, I’ve given it a lot of thought. It is probably the safest place to be. Remember hiding in plain sight?”

  “I don’t know, Marli. I can’t have anything happen to you. If you get caught doing something, Mrs. Stone may insist the wedding be moved up. Then what would you do? Or you have to consider this, too. What if the Stones call off this wedding and Edna and your dad get so furious they marry you off to some old man?”

  “I don’t know what to do.” I scoured the weather-beaten surface of the picnic table. “I’m sick to death of this, though. Why did I have to be born up there?” Far in the distance was the white church, the spike of the cross piercing through the mist. “No, I do know what to do. I won’t marry Josiah. I won’t marry anyone. I’ll run away.”

  “Run where?”

  “Anywhere.”

  “Could you talk to the sheriff? Isn’t there some sort of law against this forced marriage?”

  Could Sheriff Wilton be the answer? “That’s an idea. I don’t think there is a law against it. I think I’m already old enough to get married with parents’ permission, but there is some sort of special agreement between the church and the local police. They don’t bother the politics on the mountain, and we keep to ourselves and not bring our preaching to town.”

  “Are you kidding?”

  “No. I don’t know too much about it other than there is an agreement they signed around the same time the children of the mountain started attending public school.”

  “You’re technically old enough to marry with your dad’s permission. But what if you don’t want to? Is that covered under this special agreement, taking away all your rights?”

  When the bell rang, neither of us moved. When the warning bell rang five minutes later, I stood.

  “Nate?”

  “Hmm?”

  “How are things at home?”

  He was quiet.

  “Has something happened?”

  “Everything is fine.” He stepped toward the school. “But I don’t want to be caught by your grandmother so I’m going to go.”

  “Okay.” I paused a moment before saying, “Tomorrow morning?”

  Over his shoulder he flashed a smile, though he couldn’t fool me. I could tell it was forced. “I’ll be there, beautiful.”

  It was only as he walked away that I noticed a limp that hadn’t been there yesterday, like he had hurt his knee and had trouble straightening it.

  As I stood there, the hairs on my neck prickled and chills erupted across my arms, like my body knew before I did that there was an imminent threat nearby. Slowly, ever so slowly, I turned, expecting to see Edna behind me, watching. But she wasn’t there. A few seniors were tossing a football on the grass. A handful of girls were huddled together sneaking cigarettes near the No Smoking sign. It seemed like the coast was clear. Just as the exhale of relief was ready to burst from my throat, my heart plummeted.

  Edna stood in a second-story window, her body long and overly lean within the large rectangular frame. Her shoulders were rigid, her hands clasped under her chin as if she were deep in prayer. But she wasn’t. She was staring at me, her black eyes cold, emotionless.

  If I had ever felt like a hare caught in a trap, it was now.

  LONG AFTER DARKNESS eased its way into my bedroom, hours after the moon staked its claim in the sky, I lay awake. By the time the clock read four thirty, I hadn’t even closed my eyes, my mind alert a
nd vigilant.

  After Edna’s school visit yesterday, paranoia knocked at my brain, bringing me visions of willowy evasive demons around every corner, ready to cart me off to Hell for my sins. I was teetering on the edge of a sharpened knife. Each time I came close to tumbling into sleep, I’d feel Edna’s cold, clammy hands wrap around my neck, squeezing, squeezing, and then I’d bolt upright like I was lying on springs, panting and feverish, tremors of terror rolling through me.

  But why? Was there any way Edna could’ve heard something about Nate and me?

  The people on the mountain were very much separate from the locals, like two worlds in individual bubbles floating near each other. We could see through the clear plastic but could not move about freely between the two.

  Besides, the men of the mountain worked and the wives stayed home. Period. That left the children. Polly, I could trust. Maybe Mary? She seemed too wrapped up in her own troubles. The boys of the mountain faced more ridicule at school than we girls and never raised their eyes above the ground. They could’ve passed right by me kissing Nate and not have noticed.

  I chewed my nail as I listened to the sounds of the house, trying to take in any nuance of disturbance that tinkered through the quiet. Perched on the edge of my bed, I tried to garner the resolve to slip away, though I still wasn’t convinced Edna or Charles weren’t lying in wait, despite not hearing anything other than crickets, the distant hoot of an owl, and zero movement within the home’s walls.

  The clock read five and I wanted to see Nate.

  This time I slid through the window, not out the back door, landing on the earth with the faintest of sound. Several minutes passed, me flattened against the side of the house, the surrounding darkness heavy and thick. Then I bolted and didn’t stop running until the cemetery appeared in the distance, the tombstones lifting stoically out of the fog.

  A crescent moon hovered above and a light misty rain fell, moistening my skin. I shoved my hair back and tilted my face upward, letting the rain wash over me.

  “Hey, beautiful.”

  At the sound of that voice, I rushed forward and catapulted myself into his arms. He caught me easier than I would’ve expected, and I latched onto him like a barnacle.