Fire and Light

by Emily Ann Ward

  “I wasn’t going to sleep with him! How stupid do you think I am?”

  Evan sputtered, crossing his arms. “Well, that’s what he wants.”

  She rubbed her forehead. “I know, Evan, and I just wanted to have fun with him for a little while. Why do you have to make it such a big deal?”

  “I just hate to think of you with someone like him,” he said, his voice quieting. He stared at the tree next to them. “You could be with anyone. You’re high-born and you’re gorgeous and you’re funny. . .” he trailed off, meeting her eyes.

  Sierra gazed at him, unsure what to say. “Evan. . .”

  He walked to her until only a few inches remained between them. “Look, it’s not about Thad. It’s about me and how I feel about you.”

  Her mouth fell open. How had she possibly missed it before? She thought his flirty attitude was a good mood because of Sashe and Seth’s engagement, but he’d been so touchy and helpful and polite and teasing all at the same time. And back when Alastor said Sierra should marry outside of the Avialie family, Evan had been so defensive. He kept saying Alastor should let Sierra marry an Avialie, too, if he loved her and was careful not to let her get pregnant. . .had he been thinking about himself?

  “I like you, Sierra.”

  She took a step back, blinking hard. “Evan, I. . .we’re like cousins.”

  Evan’s jaw tightened, and he looked at the ground. “I know, but I don’t feel that way for you. I can’t stop wondering about us, what it would be like to court you. . .if you’d have me. . .if your father allowed it.”

  “He’s not my father.” She took a deep breath. “But no, Evan, I don’t think of you that way.”

  Evan met her eyes, and she could see the pain on his face. “Have you ever?”

  Sierra’s face warmed as she thought back to the night at the river two weeks ago. She’d done all she could not to think about that night again, but with his simple question, it all came back. When he ran after Dar, she’d felt so strongly for him, thinking he was such a great friend and a good man, no matter what he said about himself. Not to mention everything else that had happened that night: wearing so little in front of him, staring at his bare chest, Evan touching her legs as he pulled her under water, catching her changing.

  Presently, she shook her head. “No.”

  “You’re lying.” He didn’t seem upset, though. He smirked, as though pleased with himself.

  She crossed her arms. “No, I’m not, Evan. I think of you like a cousin, like a brother.”

  His smirk faded just a bit. “All right. Well, regardless, I still think Thad is scum. I do think you deserve better.” He paused and shrugged. “Even if it’s not me.”

  “Well, thank you,” she said, feeling quite awkward.

  “But I hope it is me,” Evan added.

  She groaned. “I’m sure you do.” She started walking to the manor again, and he followed her. They walked in silence, but Sierra knew things had changed between them.

  ***

  In Shyra, the beginning of a marriage started at the couple’s new house. Friends and family decorated the house and filled it with a feast while the couple was with the priest and two witnesses. They shared their love for one another, then the witnesses and priest went ahead of them while the couple walked or rode to their new house alone. The next few hours were spent feasting, dancing, and laughing with friends and family.

  In Jolen, the bride and groom were covered in decorative dyes from the henna plant by family members. The couple got married by water with their friends and family watching as a priest officiated the ceremony. Afterwards, they had a feast outside and the couple went to their house alone.

  Seth and Sashe worked out a hybrid ceremony, one neither Shyra nor Jolen had ever seen.

  They couldn’t find the henna plant in time, but Sashe still thought she looked beautiful. Sierra had pulled her hair up into a lovely style with braids and jewels. She wore a ruby red dress with diamond jewelry. She had just enough make-up to accentuate her high cheekbones and her eyes.

  “You look extravagant,” Sierra said in awe as they looked at her in the mirror.

  Natalia sniffled and blew her nose in her handkerchief. “Radiant.”

  Even Sierra looked teary-eyed. “He won’t know what to do with himself when he sees you.”

  Her mother and sister walked her out of the house to the carriage. In Jolenian culture, the father escorted the bride to the ceremony and to the groom, but in Shyra, the mother and sisters did it. Seth had thought it straight, but Alastor had never expected to be the one to escort her. This honor had always been Sierra and Natalia’s. Sashe held their hands tightly as they rode to the river where her friends and family waited. And Seth.

  The carriage stopped, and Sierra and Natalia got out first. Sashe came next, breathing in the fresh, cool air. The sky was cloudless, brilliant blue. Guests were gathered around the river, but they parted as Sashe walked to the riverbank. Seth stood by the jutting rock by the swimming hole. He wore a deep ruby red tunic and other matching clothes, and he held a rose in his hands. His face lit up when he saw her, and he grinned at her.

  When she reached him, she saw the tears in his eyes. He handed her the rose and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. She smiled at him, blinking back her own tears. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  The ceremony was short. The priest read from their religious text and said a blessing over them. He threw a handful of petals over them to signify a sweet new life together, and everyone clapped and cheered. Seth pulled her close and kissed her softly on the lips. His touch was a whisper, and she touched her nose to his. Her cheeks were sore from her smile as she wrapped her arms around him. Goosebumps spread across her flesh as she thought of what was to come that night.

  The guests went ahead of them to their house, where there would be feasting and dancing and times with friends and family. Sashe and Seth stayed behind by the river, holding hands.

  “I’m glad it only took you four months,” Sashe said, leaning her head on his arm.

  He kissed the top of her head. “Me, too.”

  He’d worked nonstop since the meeting with Alastor, both for Damon and Lina and during odd jobs around Shyra. He’d built their house with Evan and Dar and other workers and shown Alastor his steady income. She was so lucky to have him.

  “I didn’t want to wait a day longer.” Sashe pulled on his hand. “Come on, I want to see the house.”

  She hadn’t been inside yet, though of course she’d watched them build the outside of it and had looked over the plans with Seth. The inside, he said, would be a surprise, and he and their friends and family had spent all day decorating the inside and preparing the feast.

  They got in the carriage and rode the short distance to the house. It was at the edge of Damon and Lina’s property with the cherry orchard between it and Damon and Lina’s house. It was one story, a cottage of both wood and stone. Unlike some houses in Rahuda, Seth had treated it with utmost care as though he were a painter and the house his canvas. A small garden was on one side, a shed for horses and animals on the other. The guests from the ceremony had set the feast up outside, and the smells from the different kinds of food floated through the air.

  Sashe pulled Seth inside first. She gasped as she took it in. In the sitting area, lumpy, comfortable couches gathered around a fireplace. The cooking area had a wood stove and cast iron pots and pans with a table. In their bedroom stood a large wooden bed frame which Sashe had seen Seth building himself. A rich tapestry hung from the wall of one of Sashe’s favorite Avialie legends: Kallis and Tamare, two women who saved the Avialies from a Thieran curse.

  Sashe smiled at Seth. “It’s beautiful. I love it.”

  “Really?” Seth asked, smiling.

  “Really!”

  There was even a second bedroom with a smaller bed. Seth rubbed her shoulder. “In case we ever have children.”

  She kissed him, and he held her close. She could spend forever in his ar
ms. No one was around to see them, and she kissed him passionately, clinging to his tunic. She couldn’t wait until the guests were gone, when they could close the curtains and go into the bedroom. She longed to feel his body against hers.

  He pulled away, breathless. He brushed some of her hair behind her ear. “Our guests are waiting,” he said with a smirk.

  “Yes, they are. Come on.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him outside to celebrate their new life together.

  ***

  Evan watched Sierra and Lionel dance. It was awkward and painful, and they both looked pleased when the dance was over. Lionel grinned at his father; Sierra glared at Alastor. She stalked over to Evan and huffed. “When will Alastor give this up?” she asked. “It’s been nearly four months!”

  “Hopefully soon.”

  She looked beautiful. She had a dark green dress on, and her hair was pulled back into a long braid that reached her mid-back. He wondered what she’d look like the day she got married. Who she’d be marrying.

  “Do you want to dance?” he asked.

  She grinned. “Even you have to be a better dancer than Lionel.”

  “Even me?” he repeated. He took her hand and pulled her back into the group of people. “Of course I’m better! I was taught by the best.”

  “And who’s that?”

  “Dar.” He motioned to Dar, who’d been dancing with every girl and woman during the feast. Being a noble, he had to know all the dances. If he ever went to Renaul, he’d be quite popular.

  Sierra laughed. “Then we had the same teacher.”

  They spent the rest of the feast dancing with each other, save when a few other men danced with Sierra: Chad the Boren, Alastor, and Lionel. Other than that, the two of them were together every moment: playing games, eating pie, talking with Seth and Sashe, making fun of Lionel.

  When the festivities wound down and people started to clean up, Evan took an envelope out of his tunic. He caught Sierra’s wrist. “Hey, this is for you.”

  She took it and started to open it.

  “Don’t open it here. It’s a letter, but you should read it somewhere else.”

  She raised her eyebrows at him. “Why?”

  His face grew warm. “I don’t know. We’re busy right now. Just read it and. . .pretend I’m traveling or something.”

  She pocketed it. “All right.” She glanced around. “I’m going to go help. Thanks for the dance.” She touched his arm, smiling, then jogged off.

  He watched her for a moment before Dar walked over to him. “Hey, Dar.”

  “No luck yet?” Dar asked, nodding to Sierra.

  “Not yet.” He shrugged and scratched the back of his neck. Hopefully that letter didn’t ruin his chances.

  ***

  Sierra took a deep breath before opening Evan’s letter and smoothing it out on her bureau. She had no idea what to expect.

  Sierra,

  I don’t think I’ve had a real chance to tell you how I feel about you. I’m a coward because I can’t say these things to your face. I’m lucky my dad decided to teach me how to read and write. A lot of the workers who work for us don’t. I can’t imagine that, but I guess they feel like it’s a luxury instead of a necessity.

  Anyways, I think I first started feeling this way for you when Seth and Sashe got together. I wondered what it’d be like to court someone. I’d watch the two of them flirt and picture myself doing that with some girl. There are a lot of pretty girls in Rahuda, some of them really nice or funny, but no matter what, I kept thinking of you.

  At first, I thought it was strange because we were cousins. But we’re not cousins. We grew up together, yes, but we don’t have any blood in common. I do think of you like family, but not platonically. I’d do anything for you. I’d hurt anyone who hurt you. I’d walk a thousand miles if you asked me to. I want to try something, but I don’t want to ruin what we have. If we didn’t work out, could we still be friends? Could I wake up and know I could spend time with you if I wanted? I don’t know, but I might go crazy if I don’t get at least a chance to try it with you.

  I don’t really know what the point of this letter is. I wanted to explain myself a little bit, give you a chance to see where I’m coming from.

  Yours,

  Evan

  Sierra bit her lip as she read the letter over and over. What could she even say in response? She had so many emotions running through her as she took in his words and his slanted, slightly messy handwriting. She took out a piece of parchment. It took her nearly an hour to decide on what to write, but she finally wrote him back.

  Evan,

  You’re one of my best friends. During certain parts of your letter, I felt exactly the same way. I would do anything for you. I want nothing but the best for you. You’re so important to me, and I don’t want to change our friendship. It’s like you wrote. What if we tried something, and it didn’t work out? I don’t want to think of a future where we can’t laugh together and dance at celebrations and make fun of people like Lionel because we hurt each other at one point. People change when they get romantic. I love Seth and Sashe and I always will, but look at them. Their priorities have changed, and they live for each other. I’m scared of what could happen between us. I’m scared of losing you because of what we may do if we fell out of love after we fell into it. I can’t risk that.

  Sierra

  It was one of the hardest things she had to do, but she gave the letter to Evan. She thought of writing another one completely denying that she had any feelings for him, but she thought he deserved the truth.

  CHAPTER FOUR: HOME

  “So, have you seen Thad lately?” Evan asked, trying to sound casual.

  Sierra looked at him sideways. They sat in the barn with Dar, playing games and eating bread. It was relaxing after a long day of working in the cherry orchard.

  “No, not really,” Sierra said.

  “Why not?” Evan asked.

  She shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know. He kind of lost his appeal.”

  “Thad? He’s a slime ball,” Dar said.

  Evan grinned, glad to hear someone agree with him. Someone whose opinion Sierra actually respected. “I know. That’s what I tried to tell her.”

  Dar looked at Sierra. “Were you spending time with him?”

  Sierra glared at Evan, who shrugged and kept his mouth shut. “It was four months ago,” she told Dar.

  “What about Lionel?” Dar asked.

  Sierra slammed her card down on the ground between them. “What about him? That will never work out.”

  “Why not?”

  She rolled her eyes and brushed her hair off her shoulder. “He’s full of himself and he doesn’t even like me.”

  Dar paused during his turn. “Hm, I guess he doesn’t. I never really realized it, but he just wants to impress his dad, doesn’t he?”

  “That’s exactly what he wants to do,” she said, “and I’m not some noble that can be traded off for political purposes.”

  No, she definitely wasn’t. Evan thought she deserved someone who truly liked her for her. She lay on her stomach in the barn, her brown hair dangling down, the tips brushing against the blanket they’d rested over the wood. She rarely had it down since Alastor and Natalia seemed to think wealthy girls had to look proper all the time, especially as they got older. He thought of when they went swimming and her hair was dripping wet. Then, of course, he thought of when he’d found her changing, and his face warmed as he pictured her standing there with so little on. He remembered the lines of her muscles and the curves of her body.

  “Evan, it’s your turn,” Dar said.

  Evan shook his head like a dog shaking off water and played his turn. He caught Sierra’s gaze on him, and he winked at her. “I hope you’re ready to be in last place.”

  “Usually Sashe is in last place,” she said. “It’s weird without her and Seth, isn’t it?”

  Evan and Dar nodded in agreement. “Really weird,” Dar said. “And you and E
van are going to run off and get married, and I’ll be all alone.”

  Sierra’s mouth fell open. Evan laughed, clapping his hand on his leg.

  “In Evan’s dreams, maybe,” Sierra said coolly, her cheeks pink.

  Evan grinned and nudged Dar in the shoulder. “Besides, you’ll have Matilda.”

  “Did I hear my name?” Matilda came up the ladder just then.

  “We’re talking about the two of you getting married,” Evan said, motioning to Dar.

  Matilda made a face as she joined their circle. “Please, we wouldn’t last one week living together.”

  “We were actually talking about Sierra and Evan getting married,” Dar said as he sat up. He smoothed down his shirt in what he probably thought was a furtive manner. Evan grinned at Sierra, who pursed her lips and looked away from him.

  “Are you two courting?” Matilda asked, raising her voice.

  “No,” Sierra said firmly.

  “Not yet,” Evan added.

  “I can’t believe you! You’re just as arrogant as Lionel.”

  “At least I’m fun.”

  Sierra just shook her head, avoiding his eyes. “It’s your turn, Dar.”

  “Much as this romance intrigues me,” Matilda said wryly, “I came to tell you there are Protectors in town.”

  Evan’s eyes snapped up. “Who are they?”

  “Tisha and Niculai,” Matilda said. “They checked into the inn across the street half an hour ago.”

  “I wonder why they’re in town,” Dar said, glancing at Evan.

  Evan shook his head, his mind working. Just hearing Tisha and Niculai’s name angered him. To think they’d carried out Allison’s murder and the murder of dozens of others. He kept waiting for an opportunity to help, waiting for the adults to see him as more than a child so he could do something for this family. But it didn’t seem they were even doing that much aside from searching for a Thieran strong enough to break the curse and lobbying the king for access back to the royal city and state. They could do so much more.