Between Dreams

by Cynthia Austin

  My attention was brought to the muffled cries from the corner of the dark mausoleum.

  “H-hello?” I stammered.

  Making my way towards the cries, I set my sights on a woman seated underneath a sconce. She was very distraught as she cradled her knees and rocked back and forth.

  “Are you all right?”

  The woman’s sobbing halted but she didn’t turn to look at me.

  “You can you hear me?” I asked in surprise.

  “You never should have found that necklace.” The unidentified woman spoke, still facing the wall.

  “Who are you? What do you know about my necklace?”

  “I assume the dreams have already begun? You don’t have much time. You need to get away from here, Sidney. Your life is in danger.”

  I took a bold step closer to the woman. “How do you know my name? Turn to face me.”

  “Samael’s coming for you, Sidney. Don’t let the dreams or his charm fool you. It’s all lies.” She finally turned to face me, but I was looking at nothing more than a reflection of myself. Frustrated with the riddles of this madness, I charged the mirror and put my fist through it.

  The glass shattered and in its place, the figure of a woman that I had only seen in pictures stood.

  “Mom?” I gasped.

  She didn’t answer, instead she puckered her lips together, leaned forward, and blew. A cold wind swirled from the ground, growing into a small tremble. The earth began to shake and the coffins in the wall began to fall. When the shaking stopped, there was only one coffin remaining. There was a tiny brass nameplate on the pine box. I took a step closer to read the name. Just before I reached it, a gust of wind blew out the sconces and all was black.

  “Run, Sidney,” the eerie voice howled with the wind.

  When I opened my eyes the house was dark and silent. Breathlessly, I gripped my necklace and thought about my dream. I had seen my mother. She had spoken to me. More important, she had warned me against this necklace and against the man from my dreams. How did she know about him? And what did she mean he was coming for me? This made no sense at all.

  I looked over and found that Ray was sleeping peacefully next to me. I had no idea what time he had gotten in but I could smell the liquor seeping out of his pores and I surmised that he hadn’t been asleep very long. More than likely he had met up with some old friends and stayed out all night getting wasted after eating his health conscious dinner. I quietly got out of bed and tip-toed to the bathroom.

  Upon my return, I realized anew just how exhausted I was. I hadn’t been sleeping very well with my mind running these “movies” through my brain all night. My mother seemed to know about my struggle. Could they really be linked to the necklace I had found? Gripping the pendant, I contemplated removing the jewelry from my neck but couldn’t bring myself to do it. In my entire life, I had never dreamt about my mother and now I have. If this necklace is going to allow me to see her beautiful face again, there’s no way that I will ever remove it.

  Ignoring her warnings, I kept the necklace around my neck and crawled into the bed, scooting next to Ray for some warmth. The silent house felt like an icebox. My teeth chattered violently together and I wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or shock from my dream. I inched my foot in between Ray’s legs and he gasped, instantly being shaken from his slumber.

  “Sid, your foot’s freezing! Stop it!” he scolded, with his back toward me.

  “I had a bad dream.”

  “What are you, two years old? You need me to go downstairs and heat you up some warm milk and tell you a bedtime story? Go back to sleep, Sidney.”

  I rolled my eyes and turned on my side. Sometimes he could be so insensitive. I shook the unnerving thoughts from my head and closed my eyes. I hoped my mind would allow me to sleep in peace the remainder of the night.

  I woke up the next morning well relaxed and feeling refreshed. The curtains were open and blinds were pulled up. It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining brightly into the room, and the birds were chirping outside. It seemed as if the coldness of last night had been passed over and replaced with its rightful season—Spring. I inhaled the fresh air and sat up.

  Last night’s dream was just a memory of garbled images. Of course I remembered my mother’s warning but the intensity of it seemed to diminish as I accepted the fact it was nothing more than a silly dream. Besides, my mother suggested that I ‘run away’ and I was doing just that on Friday. Perhaps I would leave the necklace here at Granny’s when I finally made the move.

  I looked over at Ray’s side of the bed but he was gone. I could tell it was late morning or maybe the whole house just seemed brighter with the presence of Ray around. It seemed like this old place somehow came to life when he was here. In his absence, it was just a cold and dark shell of a house, old and haunted with centuries of old memories. But when Ray was present, it was our home, beautiful and welcoming, inviting us to make a lifetime of our own memories. I desperately wished that this could be our life every day.

  I rose from my bed still clothed in my blue terry cloth robe and began searching for Ray. I found him in the kitchen sitting at the table with his notebook and pen, a cup of coffee in one hand and his iPhone in the other.

  He was wearing sweats and a white undershirt, revealing his muscular frame. He caught me gazing at him and smiled as he mouthed, “Morning,” to me.

  I smiled in response. I had forgotten how much I loved waking up with Ray in the mornings. My black and white world was now speckled with beautiful drops of color.

  “Okay, that sounds great, Rene. Just go ahead and forward me the details. Okay, great. See you later today.” He hung up the phone and tossed it down on the table. Picking up his pen, he resumed writing some lyrics into his book, completely ignoring the fact that I was standing in front of him on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

  I furrowed my eyebrows and bit my bottom lip.

  See you later today? But he was supposed to be here for at least the next four days. He promised me.

  Dark thoughts of self-pity began racing through my brain, flooding my mind with all of those horrible memories. I felt my chest rush in and out as my breathing became labored. Finally, Ray looked up and saw my face. He quickly got out of his chair, rushed over to me, and began to rub my shoulders.

  I heard the sound of plates being clattered and turned around to notice Nouri at the stove. She was cooking breakfast. I had been so overcome by the sight of Ray in the morning, that I hadn’t even noticed her or smelled the aromatic wafting of bacon and eggs. Nouri brought two plates over to the table and set them down for Ray and myself to eat. She refilled Ray’s coffee before heading into Granny’s bedroom to check on her. Breakfast turned out to be two slices of bacon, an over easy egg, toast, and some hash browns. Everything looked delicious but I lost my appetite.

  There was nothing but knots in my stomach. But Ray was ravenous. He let go of my shoulders and took his place at the table, stuffing his hungry face full of Nouri’s cooking. Granny used to always tell me that the fastest way to a man’s heart was through his stomach.

  Perhaps I should take some cooking lessons from Nouri.

  I looked at his face, begging him silently not to leave me as I sat down at the breakfast nook and accepted the plate of food. Ray tilted his head to the side and asked, “Why the long face, sugar? What are you thinking?”

  “You’re leaving, aren’t you?” I asked, showing no attempt to eat my breakfast. “You’re going back down there?”

  Ray brushed his blond hair with his hand and gave me a smile. “You do still love me after all,” he joked. “I told you, I’m not going anywhere until Friday and when I leave you’re coming with me.”

  I blinked my eyes in disbelief. “Then what did Rene want?”

  Ray took another bite of his toast and washed it down with his coffee. “She got me hooked up with a radio interview in San Francisco today. It’s an important one because once our album’s completed, all of th
e local radio stations in the major cities will be hosting our record release parties. This interview will pretty much seal the contract between the label and the station, securing airtime for our songs to be played.”

  As always, once Ray began talking business and the logistics of it, my mind automatically tuned it out. I loved music, but didn’t really need to hear all of the behind-the-scene details.

  He summarized, “So, I’ll head down to the station after breakfast and take care of that. The record’s almost ready to go, the label wants us to redo one of the new songs we’re working on and create three more songs. Then we go back into the studio to record them and that’s it. We’ll be free.”

  I rolled my eyes and took a bite of my eggs.

  I pointedly remarked, “I’m sure it won’t be that easy. What do you think is going to happen after your album gets released? They’re going to put you on a bus to tour the country and who knows when I’ll see you again.”

  “Sid, I’m under contract. I have no other choice. They say jump, I have to jump. You know that.”

  “Yes, Ray. I know that. It doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

  I knew this day would come. I just thought we would have more time to work through our issues. Ray’s time here had changed a lot of things and while it did help, it wasn’t enough.

  Could I really trust him while he was away on tour?

  “Don’t be sad, Sid. This is my dream and I’m so close to it right now. I can feel it in my bones,” he said wistfully, wrapping his arms around his white t-shirt like a small boy clutching his stuffed teddy bear.

  “I know, I know…I’m here to support you.” I forced the words out of my mouth.

  I’ve said those words so many times over the past year and now I wondered if I ever truly meant them. I knew now that I didn’t. I couldn’t support this lifestyle anymore. It was too hard on me. I could never be happy living this way, even if I went back to L.A. with Ray and stayed with him for the next two months. How much would really change? In the end, he would leave to go on tour and I would be left somewhere. I was tired of being left. I knew that it was time to give Ray a deadline to this dream.

  Maybe I’d give him one more year to “make it big,” and if it didn’t happen by then he’d need to hang it up and get a real job. I also knew I would not stand by and deal with another affair. If he did this to me again, it would truly be over. I would tell him, I decided.

  When he gets back from his interview we’ll have the talk.

  I looked at the clock on the microwave, the big red numbers glowed 10:35 a.m. When I glanced back at Ray, he was already lost in concentration writing more lyrics in his notebook.

  “I have to be to work by twelve, but you could take the truck if you need to get to San Francisco,” I offered.

  He shook his head. “Not necessary,” he answered, picking up a set of keys from the table and waving them in front of me.

  “Rene secured a rental for me already.” I noticed the silver keychain with a picture of a jaguar etched on the front of it.

  Of course, the soon to be famous, rising rock star couldn’t be driving anything less than an impressive, imported car.

  I pushed my feelings of resentment into a black void that seemed to be filling faster than I could release it and took a deep breath. Ray came over and gave me a kiss. When he pulled his face away his eyes were still closed. He rested his forehead against mine and whispered, “Things will start getting easier, I promise. Once this album’s released, I’m finally going to get a check, and not some lousy credit card that reminds me every day of who I’m indebted to. I’ll buy you that pretty necklace. I’m going to be able to provide you with everything you want. And I promise you, Sid, I’ll pay for whatever college you want to go to. We’ll focus on your dream too. Just support me while I do this.”

  This was the sweet Ray I had always known. This was why I loved him so much.

  I grabbed his face and kissed him long and hard. I pulled away and wrapped my arms around his neck, never wanting to let him go. Maybe we didn’t need to have that pesky little conversation after all.

  “I love you so much, Ray, but I like my necklace just fine.”

  I got in the shower and got ready for work. Ray knocked on the bathroom door to let me know he was heading to the station. We said our goodbyes and he told me he would see me that evening.

  Chapter Thirteen

  A Beautiful Lie

  I decided to make a detour on my walk to work and stopped by the quaint yellow Victorian home of the Kyle family. I hadn’t seen Chrissy since my abrupt departure on my birthday and I felt like I owed her an explanation. So many things had happened since then. I wanted to tell her all about Adrian, but then I realized I was leaving on Friday and so my meeting with Adrian was somewhat irrelevant. I would probably never see him again.

  I began to think of Adrian’s words that first night we’d spent together. He had told me that he came here searching for someone. Now, with me no longer a distraction, I’m sure he’d be able to find what he came here for and return home. To New Jersey.

  As I stepped onto the front porch of the Kyle’s home, my thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash and the sound of a bloodcurdling scream.

  “I don’t care what you say, Daddy. I’ve tried. I’ve been trying for almost a year and it hasn’t gotten better!”

  Chrissy’s loud shouts could be heard through the massive front window which had been left open to get a breeze, allowing the entire world to listen in.

  I heard her father’s voice respond back to her, “He made his choice, Chrissy. You’re my daughter and you know that I would do anything for you, but I never liked that boy much and out of my love for my daughter I agreed to write those letters of recommendation to help him get into a good medical program. He chose that foolish band rather than his education. You couldn’t expect your mother and me to sit back and watch you throw away your life trailing after him.”

  Another loud crash followed by the sound of breaking glass. It seemed that Chrissy was throwing quite the fit. “It wasn’t your choice to make, Daddy. If I wanted to follow Finn down to Los Angeles, you should have let me go with him.”

  I found myself in a dilemma here. I wanted to ring the doorbell but I didn’t want to interrupt. Plus, if I made my presence known then Chrissy’s secret feelings for Finn would be revealed to me and she may not be ready for that revelation.

  I had no choice, really. I turned quietly around and began to tip-toe off the porch when I heard the mention of my name. I turned and moved closer to the window and listened in.

  Dr. Kyle was on the attack, “Follow that boy down to L.A. like Sidney foolishly did? Thank the Lord her granny got sick and opened her eyes to priorities. You girls belong in school and in time you’ll meet someone who shares the same aspirations, beliefs, and values that you do. Those rock and roll boys are not them.”

  I’d heard enough. But as I turned around, the front door of the house flew open.

  “Sidney, what are you doing here?” Chrissy sniffled, trying her best to pretend her watery eyes and runny nose was a reaction to her seasonal allergies.

  “I knocked,” I effectively lied. “But there was no response so I assumed no one was home.”

  Chrissy stepped out on the front porch and closed the door behind her. “So what’d you hear?”

  I abruptly confessed, “Everything.”

  “I guess now you know why I broke up with Finn.”

  I became an instant therapist. “How come you never told him?”

  Chrissy sneered, “Told him what? That Daddy gave me a choice between him and money and that I chose money? No thanks. I’d prefer him to come to his own conclusions about me. It can’t be any worse than the truth.”

  She broke down on the porch and sobbed uncontrollably. I had never seen Chrissy like this and I wasn’t sure how to handle it. I tried to think of all the times the roles had been reversed and what Chrissy usually did in these situations. I reached my
arms out and embraced her tightly in my arms.

  After another minute she regained her composure and was Chrissy again. She broke away from our awkward embrace and sat on the porch swing, fluffing her hair. “So what brought you out here this fine afternoon?”

  She calmly asked this as if she hadn’t just gone through a complete emotional breakdown. Her demeanor bothered me. She had been in love with Finn for four years and all he got from her was a few seconds of emotion before she locked his memory away and resumed living in a world where he no longer existed. She returned to living in her pampered world that was nothing more than a beautiful lie.

  “I’m going back to L.A. on Friday with Ray.”

  She brought her eyes to mine and for a moment I saw something I had never seen before in Chrissy’s eyes.

  Envy.

  I sat down on the swing next to Chrissy and took her hand. “You can come with me, Chrissy. We can find jobs down there. You don’t need your dad’s money. You and Finn will be together and that’s all that matters.”

  As if the last five minutes never existed, Chrissy coolly said, “You’re such a fool, Sidney. Here I thought you were finally ready to move on and now you’re falling right back into his trap. He’s just going to hurt you again.”

  I quickly withdrew my hand from Chrissy’s in the same way I had done with Adrian in his car when he had also insulted my relationship with Ray.

  I stood up and stared down at the ice queen, “Wow, Chrissy. For a minute I actually thought you had a heart. I guess I was wrong. I gotta go to work. I’ll be sure to send Finn your regards when I see him next.”

  I began to jog down the stairs, desperate to escape Chrissy’s house of lies; the sooner, the better. I heard her shout after me, “Don’t you dare say one word about me to Finn, Sidney Sinclair!” I made no acknowledgement that I heard her and continued heading down the street.

  Chapter Fourteen