by S. E. Lund
“Glad to see you’re feeling better,” I said to him. “Have a good sleep tonight.”
He nodded, very solemn as if it was doctor’s orders instead of me trying to find something else to say to him.
I turned, my throat choked, and placed my hand on Jim’s shoulder. “Really, really appreciate it, doctor,” I said softly.
“My pleasure,” he said, nodding knowingly.
I opened the door and checked the hallway, but it was empty, so I slipped down the hallway to the stairs back to my office, my heart in my throat. Just as I was opening the door, Maureen called out to me.
“Drake!”
She rushed down the hallway towards me and so I stopped at the door and braced myself for her wrath.
“What the hell, Drake? Here I try to be nice and let you read his file and you disobey my orders and go in and see him anyway?”
I clenched my fists without thinking and then tried to relax, taking in a deep breath. “I’m not into obedience, Maureen.”
“Obviously,” she said. “Do I have to get another restraining order?”
My blood pressure was sure to have spiked at that, adrenaline flooding through me. “Of course not.”
“What did you say to him?”
At that precise moment, Jim left Liam’s room. Maureen saw him and her face was one of shock.
“You!” she said and glanced between the two of us. “Here I thought you understood my reasons for not wanting Drake to get involved.”
Jim straightened up to full height, his blue eyes hard. He took hold of his lapels like an old southern gentleman and held his chin up.
“Drake’s the boy’s biological father and saved his damn life. I saw that as a good enough reason for him to pop in. He was there for only five minutes and never said anything about who he was.”
Maureen looked at me and then at Jim. “If you even dare try to see him again, I will get a restraining order.” Then, she pushed past Jim and into Liam’s room.
I shook my head. “Jesus Christ.” I stood with my hands on my hips and stared at the ground, trying to control my emotions. “Sorry about that, Jim. Hate to get you in trouble.”
“She doesn’t have a restraining order against you. You’re a consulting doctor. And his damn father. It’s no trouble at all.”
“I better run,” I said and opened the door to the stairwell. “Don’t want to hang around and risk further wrath of the mother.”
“You take care, now.”
I left Jim standing in the hallway, his pride still bristling, and went back to my office. By the time I arrived, my adrenaline was burned off and I was left a bit weak, my heart pounding.
Damn her! The boy was my son. He had more than my DNA. He had my bone marrow. I saved his life and she wouldn’t even let me see him. At that moment, my emotions overwhelmed me, and I sat with my head in my hands.
Kate
Drake arrived home later than usual, and drunk, Ken having dropped him off sometime before midnight. That wasn’t like Drake – he rarely drank too much, and was always in control over himself. Ken looked at me sheepishly while I grabbed Drake by the shoulder and helped him in.
“I’m sorry,” Drake said to me.
“He’s really sorry,” Ken said, his own words slurred. “He had a fight with Maureen and she threatened him with a restraining order.”
I helped Drake to the sofa and then went back to the door where Ken was leaning against the doorjamb.
“Thanks for bringing him home. I hope you two took a taxi.”
“We did,” Ken said and smiled crookedly. “Take it easy, buddy,” he said to Drake, who was leaning back on the sofa, his eyes closed, his jacket still on. Drake didn’t say anything, just waved his hand in response.
Ken left and I closed the door behind him, turning back to a very quiet Drake. Had he fallen asleep? How drunk was he?
I knelt down in front of him and removed his shoes, one after the other. He cracked his eyes open and watched me.
“That’s what I like to see – you on your knees before me.” He grinned.
I smiled in return, glad that he still had his sense of humor. “Any time,” I said wryly, “oh, Lord and Master.”
“Master sounds good,” he replied and closed his eyes once more. “Not much of one tonight. Sorry but I needed a drink and didn’t want to bother you so I went to O’Riley’s. I know you’re working on your paper.”
“It’s okay.”
Then, I removed his gloves and pulled his arms out of his coat sleeves before nestling next to him.
“Tell me what happened?”
He shrugged and slipped his arm around my shoulders. “Nothing really to tell except I snuck in to see Liam and Maureen threatened me with a restraining order. Can you believe it?”
I shook my head. “No, I can’t. The boy is yours, Drake. You saved his life. The least she could do is let you see him.”
“My thoughts exactly. I had a little help from Jim Kerrigan, one of the oncologists who treated Liam. He let me sneak in while Maureen was down in the cafeteria getting something to eat but she came back sooner than we thought.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “She’s going to do her best to keep you from him. Maybe when he’s more grown up and is ready to understand things, she’ll let you two meet.”
“I’ll miss his entire life,” Drake said, his voice cracking with emotion.
“I know,” I said. “I’m sorry. Let me get you a drink of water and some Tylenol. You should go to bed.”
I helped him up and he walked with me to our bedroom. Once there, I sat him on the side of the bed and began to undress him. He watched me closely, but whereas he would usually get a gleam in his eyes when I undressed him, the gleam promising me a great deal of pleasure, he didn’t have any kind of gleam that night.
“You’re so good to me,” he said.
“I am,” I said and smiled, wanting to lighten the mood. “It’s only because I love you.”
He pulled me into his arms at that. “I love you.”
We kissed, but it didn’t develop into anything more. Once he was naked, I rolled him into bed and under the covers. He sighed heavily and snuggled down into the thick coverlet.
“Don’t fall asleep yet,” I said and leaned down and kissed his cheek. “I have to get your Tylenol and water.”
I left him and got a glass of water and the pills, and then returned. He sat up briefly, took the pills and drank down the entire glass.
“When’s your next surgery?” I said, feeling bad that he had to work in the morning.
“None tomorrow. Just a class and office hours.”
“That’s good,” I said and took the empty glass away. “Go to sleep.”
“I love you,” he said once more.
I kissed him and pulled the covers up around his neck. “I love you.”
I left him in the darkness, my paper waiting on the desk. It would be a few more hours before I could go to sleep because I wanted to get my first draft of my chapter one in to my supervisor before the end of the week. I went back to my desk and sat staring at the paper, reading the same paragraph over and over again, unable to focus, my thoughts on Drake and his son and how sad it was that he would miss Liam’s childhood.
The next morning, after Drake left, I sat with my coffee staring at the screen on my laptop, searching for the right guide to take us to visit the Harenna Forest and the crash site in Ethiopia, and then, to the Loisaba Lodge in Kenya. There was so much I wanted to do in Ethiopia on top of visiting Liam’s grave. I wanted to go to the Great Rift Valley and see if I could visit a paleontological dig site at Oldupai – maybe the site where they found Lucy – the oldest human ancestor. I remembered Drake saying Ethiopia was Liam’s favorite place and so I wanted to visit.
I contacted several outfitters who hired out guides for Oldupai and Harenna, and arranged to visit to Liam’s grave during the first week of the trip and the second week spent in Kenya. I was lucky to get two guides at such a
late date, for the guides usually booked months in advance.
I wondered about visiting with Michael and Claire in Nairobi while we were in Kenya. I had such a bad experience with her and did not want to have to see her again, but I’d suffer to make Drake happy if it meant Drake and Michael could get together and have a nice visit. Claire’s machinations had nothing to do with Michael and so I didn’t want to come between the two men.
Then, I turned my focus on flights and hotels on the way there and back. Drake said the last two weeks in February might be a good time since a lot of people planned holidays during that time period in anticipation of March break. I took a chance and picked two dates for departure and return and soon, I had picked our flights and printed off our itinerary and digital tickets. I was excited for it would be a meaningful trip for us both.
So I had one present taken care of and now I wondered what else I could get for Drake for Christmas. I wanted something else to put under the tree. Finding another gift was going to be hard. Drake lacked nothing. What did he want? I thought about what was missing in his life. He had everything else he could ever want in terms of possessions. No clothes, no toys, nothing.
The only thing I could think of was that he was missing his mother in his life and of course, Liam, his son. I doubted there was anything I could do about either. Maureen and Chris were so antagonistic towards Drake that they would never let him be a part of Liam’s life. I thought maybe Maureen might give me a photograph or two of Liam that Drake could keep but I was afraid of causing problems. Still, it was worth a try. I knew that Drake probably had Maureen’s number on his cell and so I decided to see if he had her email or phone number in his contacts. I hated to be sneaky, but if it was going to cause problems, I hoped I could keep it limited, so Drake wouldn’t get upset.
I planned to take Drake’s phone and check his contacts when he was in the shower later that night. I’d call Maureen and see if she’d at least agree to send a photo or two that I could have framed.
That left only Drake’s mother, Louise. I only learned her name because I saw Drake’s birth announcement in an old photo album we found when we were sorting through his father’s things after we were married. A small card with elephants and balloons, with a blue “It’s A Boy!” and the details inside – Drake Liam Morgan, son of Liam and Louise Morgan…
I wondered about Louise, for Drake had no photos of her, nor any mementos. It was as if she never existed. I hoped Drake would open up about her after we were married but he seemed to keep that part of his past buried down deep. He had no siblings and whatever uncles or aunts existed, Drake never visited. I had the sense Drake was actually a very lonely man at the base. It felt so wonderful to become his wife and to be one of the very few people to really get close to him. He’d been so restricted in his relationships since his divorce. I could see him blossoming as a man and as a human since we met, and he was already pretty special as a person before. A talented neurosurgeon and musician, a philanthropist, and a professor of surgery.
He had the professional part of his life all figured out. It was his heart that he kept protected. Slowly, I thought I saw that part of him open up as well. I’d do everything in my power to make him as happy as he could possibly be.
Later, when Drake came home, I snuck to his desk while he was in the shower and picked up his cell, scrolling through his contacts in search of Maureen’s cell number. I found it, and wrote down her email as well. I’d see if she’d agree to send a photo of Liam that I could have framed for a gift. I was probably crazy thinking that she’d be willing, but a part of me felt I had to try. Although Drake never knew Liam, he had saved the boy’s life. Giving Drake a photo of him was the least she could do.
At least, I thought so. Maureen might have a different idea.
The next day, when Drake left for work, I sat at my desk and wrote Maureen an email:
Dear Maureen:
I hope you don’t mind that I’m emailing you, and I understand you don’t want Drake to be a part of Liam’s life. I know he cares deeply about Liam’s welfare – so much so that he agreed not to try to make contact with Liam or force things with you even though he could. He knows you and Chris are great parents and the last thing he wants is to disrupt things and upset Liam. I was hoping that you’d agree to send me a photo of Liam that I could have framed for Drake as a gift. I know it would mean the world to Drake.
Thanks and I hope all is well with Liam.
Kate
I sent it off, feeling a bit anxious that she’d get mad and make a fuss. Still, Drake deserved to have a picture of his own son, especially since he saved Liam’s life. If Maureen wouldn’t do at least that for Drake, she was some kind of bitch.
I waited all day for a response, but gone none and so I wondered if perhaps the email was one she didn’t check often. When I checked my phone, I saw that my email had been bounced. She must have deleted that email address.
The only alternative was to send her a text to the phone number on Drake’s cell. The text didn’t go through. She really didn’t want Drake in her life if so.
I was angry that she’d be so cruel after what Drake did for them. Then I had a brainstorm. I’d go and meet Drake at the hospital and drop by the children’s ward before and see if I could speak directly to Maureen. I feared that she’d be hostile seeing me, but hopefully, she’d understand and it might mean I could get a photo of Liam for Drake.
I texted Drake and let him know I’d be in the neighborhood and that I’d meet him at the hospital and we could come home together. He was pleased and suggested we stop off for dinner on the way home and I agreed. Now all I had to do was get to the hospital with some time to spare, and check in at the children’s ward to see if Maureen was there. With my heart in my throat, I took the subway north and then a bus east to NYP, hoping that I wasn’t making a huge mistake.
The children’s ward was as I remembered it – brightly colored walls with Disney characters and a playroom filled with all manner of toys. There were no children playing when I arrived just before seven at night. The ward was quiet, and the waiting room was empty. I went to the nursing station and asked one of the nurses if Maureen was there seeing Liam and she nodded. I didn’t want to interrupt her visit but I thought I’d walk by and let her know I was there. My heart was pounding as I walked down the hallway, peeking inside each room in hopes of seeing her and sure enough, at the end of the hallway in an isolation room was Maureen, Chris and Liam, his little body on the bed between them. He looked so small and frail, but his hair had grown in and it struck me how much like Drake he was. I could see that Maureen might hope he was Chris’s son for Chris was very much like Drake as well.
I stood outside the room, watching, and finally, Chris looked over and saw me. It took a moment, but then apparently, he recognized me. He frowned and said something to Maureen, who jerked her head around and saw me, an angry expression on her face. She stood abruptly and then Chris grabbed her arm.
He came out instead of her, but she stood watching me, frowning. On his part, Liam was unaware, and was busy playing with a Gameboy so whatever drama was taking place, he didn’t seem to notice.
Chris left the room and then came out of the anteroom, his gown still on.
“What are you doing here?”
“I sent Maureen an email but she must have changed accounts.”
Chris glanced back in the room, and shook his head. “What’s the matter? Is something wrong with Drake?”
“No,” I said and wondered exactly how to frame my question. “I’m here on my own. Drake knows nothing about it. I wanted to ask Maureen if I could get a picture of Liam for Drake. I thought I could frame it and give it as a gift for Christmas. Liam wouldn’t have to know anything about it. Drake doesn’t know anything either or he would have said no, but I thought I’d ask.”
Chris looked exasperated, his eyes dark under a furrowed brow. “Maureen and I don’t want Drake involved in Liam’s life. I thought you understood th
at.”
“I do, and Drake does as well,” I said, “but I know that Drake would treasure a photograph of Liam. He saved Liam’s life.” I let that sink in for a moment. “The least you both could do is let him have a picture of his son.”
“Biological son, nothing more,” Chris said tersely. “I’m his father and have been since he was born.”
“Of course,” I said quickly. “And Drake knows that. He thinks you’re both great parents and has agreed not to try to become involved in Liam’s life. But still, a picture wouldn’t hurt. Liam doesn’t have to know anything about this.”
Chris exhaled loudly. “I’ll talk to Maureen, but I really think you’re imposing on our good nature to ask.”
“You didn’t hesitate to impose on Drake’s good nature when you needed a donor. This is the least you could do,” I said again, affronted that they were both so uncaring and unappreciative of what Drake had done.
“Go and wait there,” Chris said, pointing to the small waiting room off the nursing station. “I’ll talk to Maureen.”
I nodded and left, making my way back to the waiting room. I sat so I could watch the hallway and saw that Chris went back inside the room and then they both came out, their gowns still on. They stood outside the room and spoke together, leaning in close.
Maureen had her hands on her hips, and didn’t look at all pleased. Finally, she stomped down the hallway towards me while Chris went back into Liam’s room.
“I can’t believe you’re really here. You have a lot of nerve.”
That was all she said and then she stood and glared at me.
“I’m no threat,” I said, holding my hands up. “Drake doesn’t know I’m here. He has no interest in bothering you or Chris or Liam. I’m doing this for Drake so he has something to remember Liam by. Just a photo. I could take one with my iPhone and be gone in three minutes.”