by S. E. Lund
“What am I going to tell Liam?”
I shook my head, trying to come up with something on the fly. “I don’t know—tell him that I’m a journalist writing articles about kids who have survived cancer.”
She shook her head and stared at me for a moment.
“Three minutes,” she said and turned on her heel. “And if you even dare come back and try to see Liam, I’ll call the police.”
I followed her down the hall and into the anteroom where I put on a gown and mask, before entering the room through a door.
Liam was sitting up on his bed, his Gameboy on the table. Chris stood when we entered.
“Liam, this lady is going to take a picture of you for a magazine article she’s writing on kids with cancer,” Maureen said. “Is that okay?”
“Sure.” Liam glanced at me and the resemblance to Drake hit me right in the gut. Those pale blue eyes and dark eyelashes… Drake’s son. Of that there was no doubt. It made my chest constrict.
“Hi, Liam,” I said and smiled at him. “I’m just going to take a quick picture and then I’ll be gone.”
I stood at the end of the bed and Maureen fussed with Liam’s pajama top and smoothed his hair, which had a bit of a rooster tail in it from lying down. I zoomed in the image and snapped a picture, then another and another just to be on the safe side.
“That’s all I need,” I said and smiled again. “I’m on my way.”
I tucked my phone away and left the room, returning to the anteroom to remove the gown and mask. Maureen followed me, but didn’t remove her gown or mask.
“He’s still sick and will always be fragile but I guess Drake can tell you about that. Please, tell Drake that just because I let you take a picture it doesn’t mean I want him to be in Liam’s life. Drake didn’t want children when we were together so he can’t expect me to be happy if he tries to insert himself into Liam’s life now.”
I turned to her, my anger getting the better of me. “Do you blame him for not wanting a family? He had no mother for most of his life. His father neglected him. He was raised by nannies and housekeepers.”
“I know, I know,” Maureen said, raising her eyebrows. “Poor little rich boy. I know the story better than anyone. I actually met Liam and he was a sweetheart. Charities in Africa, donating his time and skills. I don’t know how the hell he produced someone like Drake.”
“What do you mean, someone like Drake?” My blood was boiling at that point. “Someone like Drake saved Liam’s life. Someone like Drake is so good, he didn’t want to impose on you and Chris and be involved in his own son’s life even though he saved it.”
“That’s because he knows he could never be a real father.”
I felt tears spring to my eyes, my heart pounding from anger. “You’re wrong.”
Then I turned and left, unwilling to speak to her for another moment. I walked down the hallway, trying to get a grip on my emotions, as I was meeting Drake in a few minutes and didn’t want him to see that I’d been crying. I popped into one of the public washrooms and held a wet paper towel to my eyes, trying to stop the tears.
Finally under some kind of self-control once more, I left the washroom and made my way through the hospital to the wing with Drake’s office. I popped my head into his office and saw he was busy flipping through papers in a file.
“Am I too early?”
He glanced up, his eyes lighting up when he saw me. “Never. Come in. I’m just putting some lab results back into files. We can go right away.”
I came in and watched the screen, which showed some OR technicians cleaning up after a surgery. “Was that your OR?”
He glanced up. “No,” he said. “I was just watching while I was reading over files.” Then he looked at me, frowning. “Are you all right? Your nose and eyes are red…”
“Allergy attack. Something must have bothered me. I think I sneezed ten times on the way over.”
If Drake doubted my fabricated explanation, he didn’t show it, and I heaved a sigh of relief. I wanted to keep the photo secret until Christmas day when I’d give him the photo under our Christmas tree.
“Let’s go,” he said and closed the file before coming to my side. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me, and I melted into his embrace. Of course, being in his arms like that brought out my emotions and my silly tears started again. I tried to cover my eyes and turn my head away, but he noticed and pulled back, frowning.
“Hey, hey,” he said and took my face in his hands. “What’s wrong? Don’t tell me it’s allergies.”
I half laughed and half-sobbed, coming up with something on the fly. “I was just thinking of poor little Liam and my emotions got the better of me. Plus, I’m a bit PMS…”
His face softened and he pulled me close once more, his face in the crook of my neck, his lips pressed there in a gentle kiss.
“Sweet sweet Kate…”
He held me for a moment and then pulled back again, wiping the tears off my cheeks with his fingers. “I’ve been talking to Liam’s doctors and nurses, and he’s going to be fine. He’ll be staying for a couple more days and then will be discharged home.”
“That’s a relief,” I said, hoping that he bought my story about being sad for Liam instead of Drake.
Drake leaned down and kissed me, the kiss tender. “You are an angel.”
“Hardly,” I said, immediately feeling guilty that I’d lied to him about why I was crying. I’d confess when I gave him the picture.
“You are,” he said and pulled me into a quick hug. “Now let’s go and get something to eat. I’m starved. You need a Marguerita to improve your mood. How does that sound?”
I forced a smile. “Sounds like a plan.”
In the middle of the night, Drake turned on the bedside light and snuggled closer to me.
“Kate?” he whispered, kissing my shoulder. “Are you awake?”
I yawned and rolled over to face him. “I am now. What’s the matter? Can’t sleep?”
He pulled me into his arms, his chin resting on the top of my head. “Something like that. I woke up and can’t stop my mind from working.”
Usually, that meant he wanted to make love, but I felt no erection pressing into my belly. I ran my hand up his back. Maybe he was still upset about Liam and wanted to vent. We’d had a very enjoyable meal at our favorite restaurant and opened a bottle of wine when we got home, talking in quiet voices about Drake’s childhood before Louise left. He had some happy memories but they were few for it was obvious that she couldn’t adjust to the loss of her first son.
Drake had been in a very thoughtful mood that night and I thought he’d want to make love but he hadn’t.
Now, he couldn’t sleep. “Too much alcohol?” I said, wondering if he wasn’t feeling well from the wine.
“No,” he said and stroked my cheek with his thumb. “To many thoughts.”
“What’s on your mind?”
He sighed heavily. “Kate, I don’t want to wait to have a family. I want a child now.”
My eyes widened at that and I didn’t know what to say. We had talked about having children when we first discussed marriage, but that was a few years off when I was finished my thesis and we had done some more travelling. I pulled back and looked in his eyes.
“What made you change your mind?”
He shook his head, a sad expression in his eyes. “I realized when I saw Liam at the hospital and today when you were crying about him that life is too short to put off things that you want. I want to have children, Kate. I want a real family – like you had with Ethan and your mom and Heath.”
I didn’t say anything, wanting to give him the chance to speak and explain how he felt.
“I know you wanted to finish your thesis first,” he said carefully, softly, “and I wanted to go back to Africa first, but there are no guarantees that we will even be able to have children.”
“Go on.”
“Something could happen to either of us and that would be it – waiting would
mean we’d never have had children or be parents. You can always finish your thesis, and I can always go to Africa but we can’t always have children. I realized that I’ve missed every milestone with Liam. I’ll miss every milestone to come. I don’t want that to happen to us.”
I pulled him more closely into my arms and kissed him, happy that he felt able to reveal his fears to me. He was so afraid of turning into his father, but I knew then that would never happen. He wanted to be like my father, the co-head of the household, involved and engaged in his children’s lives. As much as I rebelled against my father, I knew he was always there like a fortress around our family, ready to protect us. I realized that after his stroke, and after how patient and understanding he was with Drake and with me.
If anything, Drake ran the risk of being too much the opposite of his father, and not having any fun in his life for fear of being like the carefree neglectful Liam.
“You’re not saying anything,” Drake said, pulling back to look in my eyes. “I want you to be completely honest with me. Tell me what you think about it. I need to know.”
“I want to make you happy,” I said, running my hands up his chest, his skin warm. “I want to have your children, if we can.”
“And your thesis?”
“I can still work on it while I’m pregnant, silly,” I said and smiled, squeezing him. “I’m working on the first chapter already. As long as I’m not sick as a dog, I should be able to finish it before the nine months are up.”
“Ten months,” he said. “It’s really ten months from your last period.”
“Yes, Doctor,” I said and laughed, squeezing him again. “Whatever you say.”
“You’re serious?” he said, searching my face as if he didn’t believe me. “You’re willing to try? Now?”
“Right this minute?” I said, smiling coyly. “My period is due tomorrow or the next day so, you’re out of luck for two more weeks…”
He laughed and pulled me into his arms. “Don’t take your birth control once your cycle is finished. You won’t likely get pregnant right away, because you’ve been on the pill for a while but it’ll be fun to try.”
“This is all because of what happened with Liam? Have you really thought this through?”
He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, his arm still under my neck. I snuggled closer, my hand on his chest.
“I realized when I saw him on the hospital bed that he looked so much like me with his dark hair and blue eyes. I felt such incredible love for him at that moment, even though I don’t even know him. I knew I’d do anything for him, even stay out of the picture until he was old enough to understand.”
He turned to look in my eyes. “I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to love children because I felt so neglected by my mother and father, but I was wrong. I could love children. I want them, sooner than later. We never know how much time any of us have. I don’t want to wait in case there’s no tomorrow.”
“Oh, Drake,” I said and snuggled even closer, squeezing my arm around his waist, my eyes filling with tears at his confession. “We don’t have to.”
He leaned down and kissed me and then he fixed me with his eyes. “I want you to think about this for the next week, and if you change your mind, I’ll understand. I’ll be sad, but I’ll understand.”
“I won’t change my mind,” I said. “I want everything with you, Drake. I want you to be the father of my children.”
He kissed me then, warmly, deeply, and I thought he might want to make love, but he never made the first move and so I lay in his arms, filled with emotion for this wonderful man I had all to myself. He wanted me to have his children. He wanted us to be a real family. I wanted to give him that – something he never had growing up, despite all the wealth and privilege.
We fell asleep in each other’s arms, the light from the street filtering in through the curtains at the window.
Drake
Two weeks later…
I checked my watch and saw that it was almost three o’clock, so I picked up my cell and called Kate.
She answered, her voice sounding slightly teasing. “Doctor Morgan, how unexpected to get your call.”
“Mrs. Morgan, I have an hour off between appointments and want to rush over and ravish you. My calculations say you are more than ready. This is day fourteen since the start of your last menstrual period.”
She laughed on the other end of the call. “Yes and we’ve done it twice a day for the past three days, but I’m always more than ready for you, Doctor. I’ll be waiting. Do you have any specific requests? Blindfolded in the living room? Bound in the bedroom? On my knees in the pantry? Or the usual?”
“In this case, the usual. You, naked on the bed with a pillow under your round little ass, waiting and filled with lust.”
She laughed lightly. “You’re enjoying this aren’t you? I thought you wouldn’t because it’s very very vanilla. Where’s Master ‘D’ been hiding?”
I chuckled. “The way I’m feeling, Mrs. Morgan, is very very kinky, but a very specific kink. One that involves bareback and impregnation. So, still kinky after all, I guess.”
“I never thought of it that way,” she said and I could hear the smile in her voice. “I’ll be ready and waiting. Filled with lust.”
“Legs spread,” I said, already imagining the visuals. “I want to see my target as soon as I walk in the bedroom.
“You won’t look in my eyes first?” she said with mock disappointment. “A lady doesn’t like to be ignored…”
“Mrs. Morgan, I assure you, I won’t ignore you in the least. I’ll be looking at your sweet little naked pussy, because I am going to eat you and make you beg for release, then I’m going to fuck you and then I’m going to make you come really hard.”
“You talk so dirty, Doctor Morgan, I hope your secretary isn’t listening at the door. I do believe I’ll be more than ready.”
I imagined her precisely in the position I described, naked, her legs spread wide to reveal herself to me.
“I’m counting on it.”
By the time I arrived at the apartment, I was hard as a rock.
I ran up the stairs to the third floor and struggled with the key in the lock, cursing when I couldn’t get it to open right away. Finally, it caught and the knob turned. I quickly removed my boots, then my coat, scarf and mitts, throwing them on the chair in the entry.
“Mrs. Mor-gan,” I said, rubbing my hands to warm them up. I began removing my shirt, unfastening the cuffs and then throwing it on the sofa on the way in to the bedroom.
There, on the bed lay my beautiful wife as I requested, naked, on top of the coverlet, a pillow beneath her buttocks, her legs spread wide. I noted a flush to her cheeks, and a shy smile on her lips.
“Doctor,” she said softly. “I’m very ready for you.”
“And I,” I said, unbuckling my belt, unzipping my pants, “am more than ready for you.”
I slipped out of the pants and then removed my boxer briefs, my erection jutting out, already leaking. My socks remained as I crossed the hardwood floor to the bed.
“Your socks?” she said, eyeing my feet as I came to the bed.
“It’s all the rage in gay porn, or so I hear.” I bent down and slipped out of the socks. “Besides, the floor is damn cold.” Then I sat on the bed beside her, my eyes roving over her naked flesh, spread out for my personal enjoyment. “God, Ms. Bennet, you are luscious.”
“Ms. Bennet?” she said in mock affront. “I’ll have you know I’m a respectable woman now.” She smiled, her eyes twinkling mischievously.
“I’ll have to debauch you, in that case.” I lay on top of her and kissed her, silencing her playful banter with my mouth, my tongue finding hers and sucking it into my mouth, the sensation making my cock jump against her.
“Mmm,” she murmured. When I pulled away, she glanced down at my erection. “You sure you don’t want me to suck you for a while?”
“Nope,” I said and shook my h
ead. “I want every drop inside of you where it belongs. Now, spread those legs a little wider.”
She did, and I knew her well enough that my ordering her around, and her being so exposed would arouse her. When I bent down to lick her, she was already nice and wet, moisture glistening on her flesh.
“You like this, do you, Katherine?” I said while I pressed on her thighs to open her even more. I didn’t expect her to answer, and when I glanced up, she was lying with her eyes closed, her mouth open, gripping the bed sheets as she waited for me to actually lick her the first time.
“Look at me,” I commanded.
She opened her eyes quickly and glanced down, meeting mine. I wanted her to watch me eat her. I wanted to watch her watching me. I wanted her to feel carnal, wanton in her enjoyment of my mouth on her. Bending closer, I ran my lips all around her groin, her inner thigh, and everywhere but her pussy, my whiskers brushing her skin, eliciting a gasp from her.
When I finally ran my tongue over her, from the entrance to her body to her clit, she groaned and her hips thrust up, pressing her pussy against my mouth. I took her into my mouth and sucked, running my tongue all around her clit, in a slowly building rhythm. I wanted her ready, then I wanted to fuck her, come deep inside of her and then make her come so that her body accepted it all.
I’d make her lie with her hips up for an hour, hoping to impregnate her although I didn’t expect it. Not yet. It might take six months, considering that she was on birth control for several years.
Then I shut off the doctor hoping to ensure a healthy pregnancy and became the horny husband, incredibly turned on by the thought of impregnating my beautiful and loving wife.
I understood in that moment something profoundly masculine – the desire to impregnate my partner. To claim her body with my seed. To join together completely and fully, our mutual pleasure bringing forth a new generation.
My arousal from seeing her respond to my mouth and tongue, my arousal from the thought of impregnating her, my arousal at the prospect of orgasm, all of it incredibly intense – more intense than ever before.