Maddy’s eating her pancakes already. I decided I’d let her eat first since it would take me ages to get this right, and I want it to be perfect.
When Amy comes into the kitchen, Maddy yells, “Surprise!”
Interrupting her own yawn, she gazes at Maddy with a befuddled look on her face.
“Where’s Jack?” she says.
I take a step back. “Hey there, little lady. A mighty fine morning to you. Sleep well?”
She seems startled by my presence, as if she didn’t expect me to stand in the kitchen.
I wink at her. “Would Madame be interested in some breakfast?” I say in a fake French accent, swaying the pan back and forth.
Clenching her arms together, she leans against the door and looks down at the floor. Oh god, what did I do? I hope it’s not because I was a fucking monster last night, with my crying, screaming, hurting her, and … fucking her.
Shivers run down my spine just thinking about what I did. What we did. Is she okay? I was partly drunk, and as I realize this now I feel pathetic and weak. How the fuck dare I make love to a girl intoxicated.
I let the pan drop back on the stove, and it makes a clattering sound. She looks up at me, and I know I’ve caught her attention with that little act.
“Maddy, Amy and I need to have a chat. Why don’t you eat your breakfast? We’ll be right back.”
I walk to Amy and put my hand on her back, but she seems to cower underneath my touch. Fuck no. Is she afraid of me? Does she think I will hurt her again?
I nudge her to the hallway, well out of reach from Maddy’s ears. I grab both her hands and bring them to my lips. “I’m sorry for everything I did to you. I will never hurt you again, I promise.”
“Jack …” she says.
“No, no, let me do this. I need to say it to you. We made love. And I’m sorry if I did anything against you will. I never meant to make you feel shitty.”
She sighs. “I know …”
I put my hand on her shoulder, trying to get her to look at me, but she avoids my eyes. “Amy … I know I was drinking, and it was wrong. I hit you in my sleep, which was even worse.” I grab her chin and lift it, forcing her to look me in the eye as I speak the truth. “But I held you in my arms, tasted you, made love to you, and damn it I enjoyed it. I don’t regret a thing about us.”
She smiles, but still looks unhappy. Her eyes are getting wet, and it defeats the purpose of my confessional speech entirely. Shit.
“I don’t regret it either, and I enjoyed every part of it. Still do.”
“Okay.”Phew. Glad that’s not it then.
“It’s just that I don’t know what to do. I don’t really belong here.”
Her words are like a dagger to the heart. Even though I knew she’d eventually leave, I never thought it’d be so soon.
“Yeah, you do. I need you,” I say.
“I need us as well. But I need other things, too. I miss my home. I miss my friends. I miss my … music.” She sighs. “I have no career, no friend, and no boyfriend. What am I supposed to do with myself? It feels like I’m standing still in time right now.”
I put my arm around her and hold her tight. “I wish I knew how to help you.”
“Well … I’ve been thinking about it and … I want to meet up with Nicole.”
I nudge her forward and look her straight in the eye. “Are you sure?”
She nods. “It’s the only way I can ever make sure if this band thing will still be possible or not. If I can have my friend back. Maybe then my life won’t feel like such a mess right now.” She grabs her phone from her pocket and stares at the numbers as though she’s gathering the courage to press them.
“Is this really what you want?” I ask. “Considering the pain she’s put you through.”
“Well, it wasn’t exactly her fault. Mostly Ronnie’s. He just lunged at her. I saw her slap him. I just couldn’t get the image of them kissing out of my head. Now that I’ve had some time to think about it, I think I might be able to forgive her. After all, she wasn’t exactly happy with Ronnie’s kiss. I might’ve been a little rough on her, too. She must be devastated by my sudden departure. I need to talk to her.”
“All right. If that’s what you need, I’ll support you,” I say.
It’s the least I can do to make up for what I did last night in bed. Although I’m afraid, too. If she sees that Nicole girl, the one who kissed her ex, it might create more problems than we can handle. It could get even worse. She might get even unhappier, and I certainly don’t want that.
What if she makes up with Nicole and leaves? I don’t want to lose her.
Sighing, I rub my eyes and watch her dial the numbers.
Chapter 7
Amy
Jack insisted on going with me to the village. I told him I could do it on my own, but he wouldn’t have any of it. Said he didn’t want me to get lost, but I’m thinking he doesn’t trust me alone with Nicole. He probably doesn’t trust her at all. I get it, I mean, after all the shit I spewed, who would trust her? He’s never met her, and it seems as if he’s getting more and more protective of me. It brings butterflies to my stomach. I think he’s falling for me, but I’m not sure. He’s still holding back, I can feel it. Still afraid.
And hell, he’s got some stuff to be afraid about. The way he cried last night really made me aware of the fact that something’s totally wrong in his life. I wonder what happened that he gets those scary nightmares. Is that why he never sleeps? Damn, go figure. I can’t imagine what goes on in his head, seeing the way he was last night.
I really want to know, though. Would he ever tell me? Would it help him if he did? Could we even build a relationship without? Are we even doing that?
So many questions I have no answers to.
However, I’m not bothered by it that much. It’s been lingering in my mind, yeah, but not as much as the fact that we had sex. That he held me, touched me, made love to me. I never felt like that before, and just thinking about it creates a burning desire between my thighs. He looked so ripped, so godly, and he was. He was gentle and kind and so deliciously good.
Oh … I can’t get enough of him, but I shouldn’t think about it so much. I mean, he was partly drunk and crying afterward. Not exactly a solid base to start a relationship on. Maybe it was just a onetime thing that we both needed.
I stare out the window and peek at Madeline every now and then. She’s playing with her dolls, and it’s as grizzly as ever. They’re having a funeral and the Barbie died. Ken’s dressing her up for her imaginary death.
Just looking at it makes me sick. I wonder what the hell happened that makes Madeline play out such disturbing scenes. It must have something to do with what Jack is going through. It has to. No way would he let anything happen to her. Something must’ve gotten to the both of them.
We pass a bridge, and I can see the village up ahead, just past it. Jack drives straight ahead, far away from it.
“The village is over there,” I say.
“Uhuh.”
“You just passed the bridge.”
“I know.”
I frown in confusion and gaze at him. “Why don’t you just go over it? Saves us some time.”
“I’m taking a detour.”
I check my watch. “Why? If we keep going like this, I’ll be late, and she might leave.”
Jack purses his lips and sighs. “I’m not going over that thing.”
“Why not? It’s just a bridge.” My voice is sounding increasingly irritated, because I am. What’s the problem?
“I don’t care.”
“But—”
He slams the steering wheel, making me jolt up in my seat. “I’m not crossing that fucking thing!” he suddenly screams. “Now would you please let it go?”
Gaping at him, I let out a gasp. My eyes are already getting teary from his outburst. I didn’t deserve that.
He takes a huge breath and slaps his hand against his head. Wiping his forehead, he snorts. “
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”
“No. You shouldn’t. I mean, what’s so bad about that bridge anyway?”
He turns his head and refuses to look at me. Avoidance. Typical Jack tactic.
“I just hate that place, all right?”
I roll my eyes. “Fine. Whatever.”
“I’m sorry.” He looks at me and smiles. “I promise I’ll get you there in time. Don’t worry.”
He squints, and his smile turns increasingly foxy. “Trust me, if there’s anything I can do then it’s getting somewhere in time.”
“Oh, really?” I say, snorting.
He laughs. “Yes. Don’t believe me?”
I roll my eyes and shake my head.
“Is that a challenge?” he teases.
I stay quiet. I’m not going to give in. Before I know it he’ll attach some sort of ridiculous prize to this imaginary bet of his.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he muses. “But I want something in return … And I know exactly what that is.”
My eyes widen. Shit. He’s doing exactly what I hoped he wouldn’t. I hope it’s not something that’ll freak me out. Like feeding the horses or cleaning the dredge that’s in the cow pen. Fuck. Knowing Jack that’s exactly the sort of thing he’ll pick.
“Don’t worry. It will definitely be something you like.” He winks at me, and it sets me ablaze. He’s gazing at my boobs, and now I know what he means. Oh, god. Is he thinking what I think he’s thinking?
A sly smile creeps onto his face as he squints, licking his lips.
Oh, yes. Yes he is.
Jack steps on the gas, and I’m pushed back into my chair. “Hold on. This is going to be a bumpy ride.”
***
My hair is in jumbles when we arrive at the town. I’ve been clenching the seat as though it was my only way to hold onto this truck as it raced over the road. I’m breathing out loud, and my heart is in my throat. Jack’s just laughing at me. He gets out of the truck while I fumble with my seatbelt. Madeline is still giggling from the exciting ride, but I’m glad to get the fuck out of here.
“So, where are ya meeting her?” Jack suddenly says as I get out of the truck.
“Some bar.”
Jack frowns. “Karen’s Hut?”
“Yeah. That one.”
His pupils dilate. “Fuck. You shoulda said sooner.”
“Why? Does it matter?”
“Well, my sister runs it, and she’s a kind of a tool.” He clears his throat.
Chuckling, I say, “I’m not going to go through the trouble of finding a different place to meet up with Nicole, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Ah, suit yourself. I’m just warning you; that girl has a stick up her ass, and you don’t want to be the one pulling it out.”
I laugh so hard I almost make pig noises, so I quickly shut my mouth.
“I’ll take Madeline, and we’ll get some groceries while you’re chatting with your friend. Maybe visit Ben, too.”
“Yay! Uncle Benny!” Madeline yells as Jack grabs her hand before she runs off to Ben’s shop.
“Okay. Meet you back here later?”
“You bet. Good luck,” Jack says, and he walks off into the distance.
“Thanks,” I shout after him, but all he does is give me a wave.
I sigh before stepping into the bar. It’s very quiet in here, and it reeks of alcohol and cigarettes. The green walls have turned yellowish near the ceiling, and the wooden floors are uneven. There are tables spread across the bar, but none are taken. Damn, that means I’m the first to arrive.
I cough from inhaling the smoke and immediately notice a lady at the bar putting out her cigarette. Her long brown hair and square jaw remind me of Jack, but she’s a bit older than him.
“What can I do for ya?” Her voice is really hoarse.
I think she should stop smoking soon before she starts sounding like an old machine breaking apart.
“Oh, um, I’m meeting a friend here,” I say.
“Well, gotta order something if ya wanna sit here,” she says, and she grabs a beer glass.
Geez. Jack was right about her. “I’ll have a coke then, please?”
“A coke?” she chortles. “I can think of a few things a bit stronger than that if you’d like to get a good energy kick.”
“No, thank you.”
“All right, all right,” she says, waving me away. “Sit down. I’ll get ya your drink.”
Wonderful. I’m starting to have second thoughts already.
I sit down somewhere near the window, far away from Jack’s sister so that I can check the streets and see if Nicole has arrived. Normally I’d be anxious to meet her after we had such a big fight, but this angry lady has made me wish for Nicole to come sooner.
“You know, drinking during the day ain’t so bad,” she says, placing my drink in front of me. “I do it all the time. So does my brother, but you probably already know that.”
“What? How do you know that?” I say, gaping.
“I’ve seen you. Walking together down the street, eating some ice cream, giving little Madeline a hand. Almost seems like a renewed family to me.”
A flush appears on my cheeks. Shit. I knew people would talk and see us. I feel watched.
She giggles and sighs. “Oh, sweet and tender love … glad I got none of that.” She smiles awkwardly at me. “Well, I could ask you what brings you to this town, apart from my brother that is, but that would be rude, so … enjoy your drink.”
She stomps away again and leaves me with goose bumps all over my body. What is up with this woman?
When I see Nicole’s car drive into the parking lot, I freeze, and my heart stops. She gets out and briefly glances at the place I’m sitting at. I know she’s seen me. I swallow away the lump in my throat when she walks through the door and breaks the silence inside this scary place.
“Hey, Amy,” she says, and she takes off her coat, hangs it on the stand, and sits down on the chair across from me.
“Hey,” I say, waving awkwardly. I have no idea what to say or how to act. I haven’t spoken to her in such a long time. We used to see each other almost every day or at least talk to each other. It’s been radio silence ever since The Kiss. This feels like a millennium ago.
“How’ve you been?” she asks, pursing her pink lips.
“Better.”
Jack’s sister comes to take Nicole’s order. Her eyes are like those of an eagle, focused on Nicole as if she’s all there is and I’ve just disappeared.
“Hello there, what can I do ya for?” She’s leaning on the table, getting right in between us. The nerve.
“Uh … a coffee would be good, thank you.” Nicole’s cheeks get rosy, probably from her sudden intrusion in our conversation.
“Coming right up, sweetheart,” Jack’s sister says, and she winks at Nicole before going back to the bar again. I wince at the sight. Strange woman.
There’s an awkward silence between Nicole and I.
Jack’s sister comes back with her coffee. She’s constantly smiling at Nicole, which I haven’t seen her do before. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she puts down the coffee and scurries away again.
“Listen, Amy …”
“Don’t. You don’t have to say anything. It wasn’t your fault Ronnie kissed you. He practically attacked you. I saw it. I understand.”
She smiles at me and blinks away the few tears in her eyes. “I was in shock when he threw himself on me. I didn’t know what to do for a moment. And then I saw you and now everything’s all messed up.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry,” she says. She grabs my hand for a few seconds, and I know that she truly means it.
“Don’t be. It wasn’t your doing. Although, I must say that I did feel angry at first.”
She takes a sip from her coffee. “I was confused, too. I mean, you know about my struggle with my … sexuality,” she whispers. “That kiss was like a revelation to me
. I didn’t know what to do with myself.”
“How so?”
“Well … I discovered that I truly hate kissing guys like him.”
We both burst out into laughter, and immediately the air feels a lot clearer.
She puts down her coffee. “I’m glad you texted me. I was so upset not having you to talk to all the time. I got so used to it over these years I could barely do without.”
“Yeah,” I say. “Well, it’s given me some time to think. I must say, going on this trip was good for me.”
“Oh? Do tell.” She drinks up her coffee.
“I’ve stumbled into something quite good …”
I think my cheeky smile gives my secret away, because she starts to scream so loud it makes my ears pop.
“Don’t tell me you met someone.”
“Actually, I did.”
She screams some more, and I push my fingers into my ears.
“Oh. My. God. That’s amazing? Who is he? Is he hot?” She leans over the table. “C’mon, tell me, I won’t say a word to anyone back in town.”
I roll my eyes and point to the back. “That woman over there is his sister. Better not talk dirty about him,” I whisper.
“Oh … dirty … I like it,” she says, chuckling. “So, I guess you’re all over Ronnie then?”
“Hmm … I’m not sure.”
“What do you mean ‘you’re not sure’? He’s an asshole, and you know it. You shouldn’t even be thinking about him anymore!”
“I know, I know, but I was with him for such a long time … It’s hard not to. It’s difficult to just let go.”
“I get it, Amy, but why not just try? I mean, you’ve found a great guy now, haven’t you? What’s he like?”
I chuckle. “Nicole!”
“All right, all right, sorry for being so nosy. I just want the juicy details. It’s all I live for, nowadays. Not having any love myself means living off of others, and you’re the perfect next topic of interest.”
I sigh and drink up my coke.
Blissful volume 2 (New Adult Romance) Page 6