by JP Summers
“Oh. So this has to do with Carson.” Erin chimed in.
Unsure as to why I would even tell Erin anything, I absentmindedly opened up to reveal, “Yeah. Sometimes he can be a jerk, but then he goes and does something like this.” I pulled out the tickets from the front pocket of my bag pack to reveal the tickets. “He gave me these to me for an early birthday gift.”
“Wow! Carson gave you tickets. For what concert?”
“Actually they’re for a baseball game. The tickets are for two seats right behind the team’s dugout.”
“Carson must have saved every penny from his job to pay for those.”
“Yeah, he must have.” I hung my head down, ashamed for arguing with him when he’s clearly not such a bad guy at all.
Erin helped place the rest of the pictures on the poster board while commenting, “Carson has a habit of screwing things up and really not meaning to. We both know his asinine actions are a part of who he is.”
“I get that. It just makes me mad he would purposely try to keep me from your brother. I know how to take care of myself. No offense, but I’m smart enough to know better than to get involved with Evan again.”
“None taken. I know my brother can be a pretentious jackass.”
My ears must have been playing tricks on me. Erin had insulted her brother. Suddenly, she didn’t seem as harmful as I had made her out to be.
After the unusual, yet decent conversation I had had with Erin, I knew that I needed to make things right with Carson. I hated the idea of my best friend hurting. Besides, I had an extra ticket to my favorite baseball team’s upcoming game and needed someone that sings “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” worse than I do.
The time in class went by incredibly slowly as I waited to run to Carson’s locker and tell him how much I appreciated the tickets. I wasn’t going to let him completely off the hook, but I knew we could work past our little spat. He just had to promise not to do anything that stupid ever again.
As soon as the bell rang, I ran out of the classroom so fast there might have been some desks knocked over. I stood by Carson’s locker waiting, but he never showed. Logan said he had been in the locker room a few minutes ago and might still be there. Since I was desperate to talk to Carson, I got the crazy idea that I’d go see if he was in there.
The warning bell rang as I cautiously snuck into the locker room. Seeing Carson’s backpack, I knew he was around somewhere. I followed the sounds of a locker slamming shut, and when I finally saw Carson, I realized he wasn’t alone. I stayed partially hidden behind the lockers, not wanting to get caught.
“If you want, I can get you another supply once my brother gets more from his supplier,” a guy I didn’t recognize said.
My mouth widened at Carson’s unsettling reply. “Tell your brother I rather have this than that other stuff he gave me last year and that I’ll need at least enough to get me through the rest of this soccer season.”
I started to back away quietly, taking deep breaths to keep myself from crying about what I just overheard. In my hurry to get the hell out of there, I knocked over a water bottle that someone had left on a bench. Carson looked up and his eyes locked on mine.
The student he’d been talking to grabbed his backpack and rushed out of the locker room, leaving me alone staring at Carson.
I was silent as he made his way over to me, clarifying, “Tia, it’s complicated. Please don’t lecture me about this.”
“Why?” was the only word I could get out of my mouth from being in shock over the realization my best friend was doing something that could damage his reputation or worse, his future playing soccer.
Carson hung his head, clearly ashamed at what he had done. I wanted to scold him, but I refrained from doing so. Instead, I walked out of the locker room and made my way to class. I tried wrapping my head around what my best friend was doing, but nothing made sense. I didn’t know what to do.
Disappointment. Infuriation. Fear. All of these emotions played a factor in my choice to not only make up with Carson, but to keep a watchful eye over him. I had to put everything that had just happened behind us in order to protect the one person I loved the most. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t stick by my Carson through the best and worst parts of our friendship?
He needed me then. Even if I didn’t agree with the conditions. I was going to be there for him, no matter what.
*****
Sadness overcame me. I wished I had never walked into that gym locker room to look for Carson. What’s more daunting is the fact I made him a promise. One that I eventually broke and still haunts me to this very day.
The winds had finally died down, but the freezing air kept me from warming up. Carson quickly took notice and went back into the bedroom closet to grab more blankets. He came back with his arms full of blankets that he’d pulled off the bed.
Carson tossed the pile in the center of our makeshift bed, then knelt down to unfold the blankets. He sat back down and scooted over to me to wrap the oversized down comforter around us. I never thought it would take freezing our asses off to have him be this hospitable around me.
He moved his hands up and down the sides of my arms, trying to build up friction to keep me warm. He created so much static by rubbing me that his hair stuck up and out in all directions. Carson shook his head while letting out a little chuckle and grinned at me.
I still couldn’t believe we were finally together after all this time. I only feared these rekindled moments would disappear the very second one of us fucked up by saying the wrong thing. For now, my mouth would remain shut. I figured it’d lessen the chances of Carson running away from me.
Being alone with Carson was becoming more tolerable. I honestly thought we would have already torn each other to shreds. Dealing with the massive snowstorm, this power outage, below freezing temps, and the mountain lions trying to maul me made our past problems seem not so bad.
Carson moved his face toward mine. I closed my eyes trying to control every part of myself from wanting to pull him in for another kiss. I already missed his lips pressed against mine. GOD, did he know how to make my toes curl, with very little effort.
My eyes shot open as Carson’s lips dusted the tip of my nose and stated in a low voice, “There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.”
His mouth hovered near mine. Our eyes intently gazed into one another’s as I waited for him to say the words I had hoped he would finally profess after all this time. The intense stare between us forced my heart to frantically pound inside of my chest so loud I worried about not being able to hear him speak.
Carson swallowed thickly, then divulged, “You were right.”
“About what?” I questioned in desperation, waiting for his answer.
Just as Carson muttered out “That I did l—” loud sounds of something crackling came from above us. Pieces of debris began falling on us as we jumped to our feet. There was barely enough time to react as larger fragments from the roof started plummeting to the carpet, leaving our homemade campsite in ruins. We held securely onto each other’s hand while dashing toward the kitchen as the roof caved in. A huge cloud of white dust drifted snow in our direction, temporarily blinding us as we relied on our memory of the house’s layout to lead us towards the kitchen.
There was no way to go back for our things. The damage was pretty extensive. The whole section of the living room was completely blocked off by the beams from the ceiling and components of the roof. We couldn’t even get to the hallway from the pile of snow now covering that area.
I have no clue as to how, but luckily, I was able to run with the blankets I still had wrapped around my body and in the midst of all the chaos, I grabbed a flashlight. The only question I had was how in the hell we would be capable of staying warm without having the fireplace.
Sure we still had food and water, but would that even help sustain us if our bodies were freezing?
Even in the face of a breakthrough, Fate had a way of inter
vening, leaving me to wonder if, somehow, I hadn’t suffered enough.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The howling of the winds outside became fiercer while Carson and I sat on the kitchen counter in silence. It became clear this was going to be where we’d be rescued, either practically frozen or worse. I’d really rather not think about the worst part.
There was so much I wanted to say to Carson, but our recent confinements wouldn’t allow me to run away if he snapped back. I was trying to read his facial expression—he appeared a little timid and baffled. I’m sure his train of thought mimicked mine. I never imagined our time in this cottage could go from bad to exceedingly worse.
Blocking our latest misadventure from my mind and trying not to think about the caved in roof, I drew upon my survival skills. Carson looked in my direction as I jumped off the counter to find something to drink. I knew we needed to stay hydrated, which I intended on doing. If there was any way to beat the odds of getting hypothermia, I was going to make sure to do everything possible to get out of here alive.
I pulled out two bottles of water from the fridge and handed Carson one. He jumped off the counter, gladly accepting my friendly gesture. Our eyes found the other side of the kitchen where I left the big dish of rice and enchiladas on the counter from yesterday. Carson grinned subtly as he pulled out a few drawers to get some forks for us. We leaned against the counter, digging into the cold food in a starved frenzy.
Despite the terror surrounding us and the storm that was doing its best to kill us, sharing a meal together with the boy I used to spend every moment of my life with felt oddly and refreshingly comfortable.
Carson’s rough, disgruntled exterior was beginning to peel back to reveal the old Carson I once knew. I was quite aware I still had my work cut out for me, but I wanted to prove to him that he was still the same person I had fallen in love with when I was a teenager.
I started shivering again. I couldn’t control the spoon in my hand anymore as I placed it down and reached for a blanket to cover myself. I tried to finish eating but the chattering of my teeth made it almost impossible.
Carson walked over to the cabinets, momentarily staring at them before unexpectedly opening one. Placing his right arm up to grip onto the top and with his left arm holding tightly on the bottom, he yanked at it a few times before it broke from the hinges and he was holding the large wooden panels in his hands. He went to the kitchen sink to strategically stack the panels so that they resembled a triangle-like dome. I stood motionless as the cold began paralyzing my legs while I watched Carson repeat the same action a few more times until the kitchen sink had chunks of broken, wooden panels inside of it.
I slid my body just enough to reach into the drawer, where I found the flashlights and recalled that I had seen a hand lighter amidst the junk. I handed them over to Carson, and he nodded. We both knew at that point that working together as a team was the only way we’d be able to survive.
Carson turned to where I left some of the bottles of alcohol Mira and I brought for the weekend. He reached for one of the bottles, leaving me to snicker when he decided to use the 100-proof vodka as lighter fluid. He took the whole roll of paper towels, drenched it in vodka, and then strategically wedged it between the wooden cabinet panels to use as kindling.
I hoped the people who owned the cottage had damn good homeowner’s insurance. Not only did they have to worry about fixing the broken-out windows, the caved-in roof, water damage once the snow melts, the missing cabinet panels, but Carson may end up burning their kitchen down.
I forced my freezing legs to walk over to the sink in an attempt to warm myself. Small flames danced around the mahogany panels as I patiently waited for the heat to envelop the parts of my limbs that needed thawing out. At least we didn’t have to worry about the smoke being too much of a problem. The roofless living room served as our ventilation.
I didn’t want to alarm Carson with the fact that I wasn’t getting any warmer. It wasn’t even nightfall and already I feared how it would be possible to make it through these sub-zero temps. If it wasn’t for parts of my body being numb with the sensation of prickling little needles poking away at it, I wouldn’t have known those parts still had some blood flowing through them.
We remained standing on opposite sides of the sink as Carson chortled, “Do you remember the last time I used alcohol as lighter fluid?”
“How could I forget? I have never laughed so damn hard while being scared shitless at the same time.”
“Come on, Tia, it’s not like I burned down the woods. It was a very small fire that I ended up putting out with the ice from the cooler,” Carson humorously remarked. “You have to admit, we did end up having a lot of fun that night.”
He was right. Boy, was he ever so right. We did have a lot of fun, and that’s when our friendship went to a whole other level. I wrapped the blanket tighter around me, reminiscing about the events that had taken place.
*****
My junior year ended on a good note. I received straight A’s, the first ever in my high school career. I scored high on my PSAT’s, which meant my chance of going to Northeastern Michigan University was very promising.
Life was good.
The rough patch Carson and I hit earlier in the year was a little challenging to work past, but we overcame it.
I wouldn’t allow our friendship to suffer even if I didn’t understand some of Carson’s choices. I may have been his best friend, but I knew he was 100% responsible for his own actions. I could only plead with him to not do something which I knew was very unsafe and idiotic on his part.
I may have promised to shield his secret from his family, our friends, and the soccer coach, but my conscience started to weigh profoundly on me. All I wanted was for Carson to open up his eyes and see the error of his ways. Though keeping his secret might have made me the shittiest friend in the world for not forging an intervention of some sort. But in the end, it was his decision to make.
I was in dire need of a break from reality. Our end-of-the-school year camping adventure at Mystic National Park could not have come at a better time.
Cruz made sure to disguise the alcohol we brought by pouring it into gallon jugs of juice. We had to be cautious in case the park rangers happened to stumble upon our camp area. The last thing any of us needed was to start out the summer with minor possession offenses and six weeks of community service.
We were fortunate that Cruz’s older brother had recently gone camping with some buddies and lent us his gear for the night. Everyone pitched in for food. It was the essentials— hot dogs, chips, soda, and booze. John provided the music, since he knew how to throw one hell of a party. It didn’t take very long to set up four tents. While the girls sat around talking about plans for taking a road trip to the beach in a few weeks, the guys fought over who knew how to build a better fire. After a few unsuccessful efforts, Carson had this harebrained idea of using something as an accelerant. In the process of lighting the fire, he almost burnt off his eyebrows and arm hair after using one of the juice jugs that contained mostly vodka.
We all laughed at the amount of smoke that escalated from the tiny fire. Mira worried someone would think there was a forest fire, so we made sure to keep the noise to a minimum. There was a long night ahead of us, and the last thing we wanted was to get banned from the National Park.
The night got off to great start. We spent most of it laughing and joking around about the stupid shit we had done during the school year. It didn’t take too long to get buzzed from Cruz’s punch concoction. My drunken behavior consisted of singing and dancing the night away to any song that played.
Carson had his fill of liquor and decided to pass out in the tent. I stayed up to finish off the last of the alcohol and chat with the girls. In the middle of an enlightening conversation about whether popcorn-flavored soda really tasted like popcorn, my eyes began to play tricks on me. I know I was on the verge of being illegally intoxicated, but it looked like Logan and Audrey w
ere flirting. Mira said I was imagining things. Then again, she was telling me she saw a unicorn hiding beside the tent when she went to go pee behind the tree.
Cruz pulled the plug on Mira’s drinking the minute she tipped her chair over and pretended to swim on the grass. He picked up her grass-covered body, then carried her into the tent where they were going to do God knows what.
As the flames began dying down, John and his new girlfriend took off to their tent, leaving only Audrey, Logan, and me to shut down this party. I was starving so much that I ripped open a bag of potato chips with my teeth and practically ate the whole damn bag. There was no more alcohol, so I resorted to drinking a bottle of water, which was a better choice. I really didn’t want to end up with my head hanging out of the tent puking my guts out.
I opened another bottle of water asking if Audrey wanted one. She shook her head, then leaned toward me and whispered, “Why didn’t you go back to the tent with Carson?”
Dumbfounded by her words, I explained, “We are just friends, nothing more.”
“But you two could be more. I’ve noticed how Carson always checks out your ass when you’re bent over to get something, and you have been practically drooling over his perfectly portioned, hot body as of late.”
“It will just complicate things between us.”
“Then don’t let it.”
Audrey may have a point. Neither one of us were interested in being in a relationship with anybody else. We were finally embarking on our last year of high school. That meant taking the opportunity to enjoy every single minute of what little time we had as seniors.
I would have hugged Audrey for giving me a pep talk, but she was too busy hanging all over Logan. I got up and walked past the campfire, said goodnight, and headed over to the tent where Carson was sleeping. My hands struggled to unzip the zipper without ripping the thick nylon. Eventually, I pried opened the damn thing, then crawled over to where Carson was sound asleep on his back, snoring away. I giggled while looking at him swatting away a fly from his face while cursing at it in his sleep.