by Kit Fortier
21. Serenity
*** Fox
Fox was bouncing in his seat as they pulled into the edge of the park. The specter of his assault was fresh in his mind, but he forced himself to think of the positive. Jake never stopped touching him. They held hands. He placed a non-wandering hand on his lap. There was a hand on the back of Fox's neck, gently massaging him. It grounded him.
Jake grounded him.
"I wish I brought my camera," Fox said as he watched the thick forest fly by. "I don't know that my cell phone can do this place justice."
"There are some who say that say it's better to treasure a memory rather than a photo."
"How so?"
"When you look at a photo, you get a memory frozen in time. It lulls you into forgetting what was so important about what you photographed.
"Sure, memory fades, but you have more than just one moment. You have a string of them, and that's more precious."
Fox smiled. "I like that."
"I do too."
"Doesn't mean I don't want to get a picture with you," Fox said, the light laughter in his voice unforced.
"We will. If it means that much to you," Jake replied.
It would be a couple of hours before they would reach the lake. Fox's wonder was infectious.
"Baby, you have to relax. You're stressing me out with your bouncing," Jake said.
Fox realized he had been thumping his heels against the floor. He stilled, but still he couldn't contain himself. The light of the late afternoon was fading.
"Jake, we gotta get there before sunset!"
*** Jake
Fox was remarkably squirrely. Jake would have been annoyed if he wasn't so relieved. And annoyance and relief would give way to a kind of joy in seeing Fox come alive like a kid in a toy store.
Jake pulled off Highway 191 and onto Teton Park Road. The mountains were ahead of them, and the lake was in sight, but Fox couldn't contain his energy. They drove over Jackson Lake Dam. Fox pressed his hands (and almost his face) against the passenger window. It seemed as if he was trying to get as close as possible. Jake shook his head with a smile.
After a few minutes, they came across a turnout that lead to the lake. The very moment Jake parked, Fox burst from the cab and ran through the woods towards the lake.
"Fox!" Jake yelled. He grabbed his backpack, secured the truck, and dashed after his man. He came to a near-comic halt, skidding on the ground, almost toppling Fox.
Breathtaking didn't cut it. Fox stood a few yards in front of Jake, taking in the scene. And what a scene. It was epic, grand. It was reminiscent of how the Lord of the Rings films captured so much natural majesty while filming the snow-capped mountains of New Zealand.
The peaks of the Grand Teton stood, quietly imposing. They were in stark, defiant contrast against the radiant, flaming sky. The peaks attempted to stave off the darkness for as long as possible--holding up the sunlit heavens like Atlas holding up the sky. They would do so until the sun surrendered, never to be seen again until morning.
Jake stood a few yards behind Fox as the younger man looked out upon the water. He committed as much of it as he could to memory. The way the jagged tops of the mountains looked against the fiery summer sky. The way forests spread at the feet of their gigantic masters. Most of all, how Fox's heroic Grecian outline drew him in.
Jake pulled his tablet from his backpack with haste. He crept closer to Fox. With his man and the mountains in frame, Jake snapped a photo.
Fox turned, his profile bathed in the deepening orange light. Jake zoomed in and took another picture, smiling at his tablet.
He looked closer at the picture. He caught Fox in a moment, shedding tears of joy.
"I've always wanted to see this," Fox said, looking back at the jagged skyline. "Photos are alright, but it would never be the same as actually being here. Now here I am." Fox threw a smile over his shoulder and reached back a hand. Jake took it. "Now here we are," Jake's man amended.
Jake was speechless. He never saw someone so moved by the majesty of nature. Realization dawned on him. This place moved him, too. The beauty of it, the immensity of it. They were ants in the presence of giants. These were sentinels who have stood long before humanity appeared. They would still stand long after humanity fades away. The idea overwhelmed him, and he let out a ragged breath.
Fox quickly turned to him, his bright green eyes snapping to his.
"Oh, Jake," Fox said as he walked up to Jake, gently brushing the moisture that flowed from Jake's eyes off his face. He hadn't realized he had even been crying. "You get it, don't you?"
Jake nodded. He had been so focused on his mission these past seven years that he hadn't bothered to take in the wonder.
"It's awesome," Jake whispered.
*** Fox
Fox took pictures of Jake. They had a successful series of pictures of them together. It took a lot of awkward positioning to make that happen, though. Afterwards, the two headed back to the truck. Jake handed Fox his tablet, pointing at a map he pulled up.
"There's a general store ahead. There's also a marina where we can leave the truck."
Fox nodded. A tingling sensation niggled at him, as if something was pushing through his skin. It was like the maddening itch of teeth descending through gums.
Jake left Fox in the truck while he stocked up on supplies. Fox sat in the dark, his eyes on Jake's tablet.
He rifled through Jake's library of e-books and maps. Curiosity lead to him looking through photos Jake took with the tablet.
Then a few photos popped up that had been emailed to him.
They were pictures of a boy. He was gangly, with jet black hair. His eyes were like Jake's--except they were a sky blue compared to the pale, silvery blue Fox had come to love.
He was looking at photos of Ben.
There were many. It was a veritable age-progression collection.
The first few were sad. Then a few smiling-Birthday party. Christmas. The boy shot up like a weed from photo to photo, likely inheriting his father's height.
Ben at karate. He had promoted to brown belt. Also in the picture, scrappy older man under one arm and a slim but healthy blond woman under the other arm. They wore bright smiles as they held Ben close and posed. They must have been Ben's adoptive parents. Ben at a wing chun match, his newly earned red belt in his hands. He was beaming. Ben playing the piano. Ben in a hospital bed, a cast around his lower leg, giving the picture taker two thumbs up and a bright smile. Ben dressed for a formal, likely prom, judging from the recent June timestamp. He filled out a little leaner than his father, but still rather intimidating. His young face was framed by a floppy mop of blue black hair.
His arm was around a shorter, good-looking guy's shoulder. The young man held the hand from the arm Ben draped around his neck and shoulder.
That was the last photo in the folder.
Ben was doing fine. Fox's heart ached a bit for the father, and a bit for the son.
The driver's side door opened. Jake stood at it but made no move. Fox's eyes followed Jake's as the older man looked at the tablet, at the picture of Ben and his date, then looked at him.
Was he not supposed to look?
Without a word, Jake passed him a plastic bag full of food and supplies and hopped into the driver's seat.
An oppressive silence pushed at Fox. He felt like he was being smothered under a mattress. But he didn't know what to say. He clicked off the tablet and closed it up with a quiet snap.
They drove through the dark for a few minutes, then turned off at the marina Jake mentioned. Jake pulled into a parking lot away from the other vehicles. He turned off the engine and sat unmoving, staring out the front window.
"I'm… I'm sorry if I was doing something wrong," Fox offered, his voice small.
Jake put his hands on the steering column and his head against the back of his hands.
"It's not you, baby."
Fox waited quietly.
"He's another person in my life
I would do anything for. And it's exhausting, thinking I could do that. Commit to him. Commit to you. I can't do it all."
Fox's heart broke a little as a sinking feeling tugged at him. A cold, unavoidable dread. "Are you-are we break--"
"Don't say it. Don't you dare. I love you, Fox Foster, and I will never give you up."
The fear and dread washed away, but the break was still there. Fox's mind rifled through all the reasons why, everything they'd been through up until-
Until the diner in Pavillion.
Fox heard a small tapping sound, followed by another. He looked over and saw Jake's shoulders shuddering. The tapping was heavy drops that poured from his eyes.
Fox reached behind him and put the tablet on a backseat. He lifted the captain's chair console between him and Jake. Fox pulled him close, wrapping his arms around Jake's shoulders, cradling his head. In return, Jake put his hands on the arm in front of him, holding on tight.
"You think you had to be there to protect me," Fox whispered.
Jake nodded.
Fox sighed.
"I can't lie to you, Jake. My first thoughts when I got attacked were about you."
A sob burst from Jake. Fox shushed him. He waited until his man calmed.
"We can't control everything, Jake. We didn't know. If anything, I blame myself for not telling you the guy was eyeing me while we ate."
Jake's hands tightened on Fox's arm even more.
"You and I, Jake. We're gonna face things together. And if something happens, we're gonna be there for each other, right?"
Jake nodded.
"Look at me, babe," Fox said, slowly pulling away from his own strong, gentle bear.
Jake's quicksilver gaze fell on his own. Fox framed Jake's face between his hands.
"It wasn't your fault."
Jake let out a shuddering sigh.
"It's not your fault."
Jake nodded.
"I love you, no matter what."
Jake never took his eyes off Fox as he turned to press his lips against one of his scarred palms.
"Let's get moving, papa bear."
Jake laughed.
*** Jake
Jake wondered how Fox could be so wise. But he came into this knowing Fox's heart was as big as they come.
The two walked hand in hand alongside the lake, passing a bit of a clearing. Jake shook his head when Fox pointed at it, indicating the bike trail that cut through. Without saying a word, he indicated he wanted no unexpected guests. Fox nodded and smiled as they moved on.
It was a couple hours later when they reached a smaller clearing. Fox stayed with the packs while Jake walked a wide circle around the camp. He secured it in the manner they both had become accustomed to, with silver and salt. When he got back to Fox, he pulled up a temporary home like the one before. This time, instead of carving a bunker from a rocky foundation, Jake willed slabs of tightly compacted earth together, creating a dirt shelter depressed a few feet into the ground, with the "window" facing the water. The three walls not facing the water were disguised with ramps of dirt, creating a half-moon hill over the shelter, embracing the front of the campsite, so the whole affair wouldn't look out of place at first glance. A short staircase led down into the shelter, and a firepit made from compressed earth rose from the ground a couple yards away from the "door". It was perhaps a bit on the overkill side, but Jake created steeply sloped chasms around the campsite to prevent random pedestrians from getting too close.
Fox disappeared into the bunker, bringing the packs and provisions inside. Jake sat outside, looking over the lake. The moon was still bright enough to cast a pale blue glow over everything it touched.
Moments later, Jake shifted slightly as Fox plunked down next to him, shirtless. Getting ready for bed. The both stared out, quietly. Jake soaked in his man's presence, relishing in this quiet time.
The day was hard. Jake knew they both felt it in their bones. Fox stood up, pulling Jake to his feet. Jake watched Fox as he unbuttoned Jake's shirt slowly. He pushed it off his shoulders and peeled it off his arms. Fox folded it up and tucked it in the crook of his arm.
Their eyes connected as Fox ran his fingers through Jake's graying pelt, and the bigger man soaked in the feel. He opened his arms, and Fox stepped into them.
They stood in the moonlight, holding each other close. They cradled one another in warmth, and they listened to the breath of the forest.
Fox pulled away and put Jake's hand in his. Jake let Fox tug him into the bunker. Despite the night chill, the two quietly took off their boots and pants. They laid out flat on the bedding of transmuted earth, Fox's blanket beneath them, and Jake's sleeping bag over them.
Jake stared at the darkened dome of the shelter. The night air was full of sounds, but they dulled on the inside. The muted noise of the lake was refreshing, comforting.
Fox curled into him, taking up his favorite spot. He didn't miss the way Fox began running his fingers over his chest. He sat up slightly, kissing Fox on the head. Fox kissed his chest in return.
He closed his eyes, warm, naked, and content with the man he loved.
22. Conditions for a Strike
*** Fox
A downpour fell across the lake during the night. It lasted through the morning when Fox opened his eyes. He curled his fingers in the pelt under his face. He rubbed his face in it, like a cat rubbing against its owner's legs.
"Good morning to you too, Foxy," Jake rumbled.
"It's coming down hard, isn't it?" Fox nuzzled Jake's chest with his nose. He savored the scent of earth, of pine, of that smell that was unique to the man he loved.
"Yep. Probably the best time to give your new gift a try."
"Aw, do we have to, papa bear?" Fox asked, pitching his voice to sound like a kid doing the big eyes thing they do when they want something.
Jake laughed. "I think you've found a safe substitute that I'll let you get away with."
Fox grinned. He was still nuzzling and kneading when he spoke.
"I was giving this…gift thought yesterday, at the diner…" Fox paused.
"Okay." Jake acknowledged, but wasn't going to go there, and Fox sighed, relieved.
"I punched that guy through the door."
"You punched him into it, and he took it with him."
"Yeah."
"Did the alchemy come into play?"
"I think it did."
"Tell me what you were thinking."
Fox recounted how he dissected what composed lightning. He recalled how the negative charges built up as they separated from the positive. He remembered how the negative slammed back into the positive, creating a bolt.
"So, you smashed that bastard with lightning?"
Fox chuckled. "More like a punch backed by lightning."
Jake laughed. "That's badass, Foxy."
Fox preened.
"Yeah, it was, wasn't it?"
"I guess what we need to do now is see if you can reproduce that. Without punching a guy through a door," Jake added.
"Yeah… But it's so cold and you're so warm," Fox whined.
"Aw, Foxy baby…"
"Can't we just stay inside and play? That'd be so much better," Fox snickered impishly.
"Tell you what, Fox. For every other strike you can create, we'll go one round."
Fox's head popped up, a predatory smile stretched across his face.
"You're gonna make me regret this, aren't you," Jake grumbled.
"Ohhh, I know you won't regret it, papa bear."
*** Jake
Fox wasn't kidding. It was cold. To compensate, Jake pulled up an earthen covered walkway that lead from the entrance to the edge of the lake. Fox didn't bother to dress--he dragged the blanket off the bedding and draped it over him, bits dangling in the cold, rain-scented air. Jake shook his head and followed, not bothering with any cover at all.
"It's very distracting, you know," Fox said.
"What?" Jake asked, looking around the lake.
&nbs
p; "Your dick."
Jake smacked Fox on the back of the head lightly. "Focus, dork." Fox snickered.
Jake stood at Fox's side, half a step back so that he could be behind him if he fell back or needed help. Fox closed his eyes and raised his hands in the direction of the water. His hands were open, like he was reaching for something, his face screwed in concentration.
Moments passed. Jake began to doubt anything would happen when his hair stood on end.
A bolt of lightning, clear as day, crashed down a couple hundred yards before them. The water where the bolt connected exploded upward and out. A monstrous splash blossomed, rippling outwards.
"Holy fuck! Did you see that?" Fox leapt up and fist pumped, the blanket falling off of him. Jake grinned at him, and he beamed back in return.
"Again," Jake said.
"Okay, okay," Fox agreed, shaking out his hands and facing the water. He kept his eyes open this time. Fox raised a hand, like he was trying to pull something to him like some sort of Force-wielding Jedi. In less time than before, another bolt appeared with the heavy rain. the explosion was just as big as the one previous to it.
Jake watched Fox turn to him, his mouth open in a look somewhere between joy and surprise.
"Wow," he exclaimed.
Jake nodded. "Wow indeed. Can you see if you can vary up the size?"
Fox nodded. He faced the water. This time, he didn't raise any hands. He stared out on the water, his focus was laser-like.
Jake looked out on the water. It took even less time before the next strike. Three smaller bolts fell, one after the other. Fox jumped up next to him.
"Woo-hoo!"
"Getting fancy with the count, huh?" Jake smirked.
Fox gave him a filthy grin. "Yep. I got one more." Fox stared out over the water.
In less time than it took for all the previous bolts, every hair on Jake's body rose. Panic was on the tip of his tongue. Then the flash.