What a Wicked Earl Wants

by Vicky Dreiling

  But there was no use wishing for things that could never be. She ought to count her blessings instead. She had a wonderful, large family and her son, all of whom she loved. Laura smiled at Lady Atherton and was very grateful for her friendship. Lady Atherton’s many letters had helped sustain the link to Phillip, something that grew increasingly important to Laura over the years. In some ways, it seemed as if only a year had gone by since his death, and other times it seemed an age since he’d passed. Despite his illness, he’d been a wonderful husband, and her only regret was that they’d not had more time together.

  When the last caller departed, Lady Atherton rang for a tea tray. “These at-homes are so hectic,” she said. “Everyone is determined to hear or spread the latest tittle-tattle. Did you hear anything interesting?”

  “No,” she said, lowering her eyes.

  “I noted your discomfort while speaking to Lady Rentworth earlier,” Lady Atherton said.

  Laura cleared her throat. “I mentioned that our sons were friends but that we had not seen George recently.”

  “What did she say to that?”

  “She said he’s somewhere.”

  Lady Atherton waved her hand. “She has the mothering instincts of a stray cat. If you ask my opinion, there are far too many aristocratic parents who fob off their children to nurses and live as if their offspring do not even exist. It’s really quite horrid.” Lady Atherton paused. “But you are genuinely overset by your brief conversation with her.”

  She explained the way that Justin had learned about George’s defection.

  Lady Atherton’s eyes widened. “You called at Lord Bellingham’s town house.”

  Laura’s face heated as she told Lady Atherton the circumstances. “Perhaps I should not have gone, but he persuaded me.”

  The maid entered with the tea tray. Lady Atherton poured and handed a dish to Laura. “He was very persuasive, was he?” Lady Atherton said.

  “Oh, yes.”

  “Do tell,” Lady Atherton said.

  “I don’t know what you mean,” she said.

  “Of course you do,” she said.

  “There can never be anything more than friendship between us.” She would not reveal what had happened in the billiards room.

  “Really? A platonic friendship. How intriguing.” Lady Atherton gave her a sly smile. “Most women would jump at the chance to join him in the boudoir.”

  “I’m not most women,” Laura said.

  “No, you are not, and that is precisely why he is attracted to you.”

  “I will not shame myself or my family for a fleeting liaison. And I most certainly will not disgrace Phillip’s memory.”

  “Excuse me a moment,” Lady Atherton said.

  Laura watched her cross over to the sideboard, where she poured some type of liquor into two glasses. When she returned to the sofa, Lady Atherton handed a glass to Laura. “When I was younger, I would not have dreamed of taking a glass of sherry in the afternoon. But as the years went on, I realized that all of my regrets were for opportunities that I did not take. In fact, when I was a mere girl, I almost succumbed to my parents’ pressure to marry a marquis. Of course, he was much older, and it would have proven to be a brilliant match in the eyes of society. But I was in love with Alfred. At the time, he was a younger son with no prospects. I took a chance and waited for him. As it turned out, he did inherit an earldom.”

  “You must have been very much in love,” Laura said.

  “The point of my story is this: Do not allow rules to hem you in. You only get one turn in life. Make the most of it.”

  “Thank you for the advice,” Laura said.

  Lady Atherton regarded her intently. “You could do far worse than Bellingham.”

  “I do not seek better, Lady Atherton.”

  “What would tempt you? True love?”

  “I assure you the earl is not offering that.”

  “A clever woman knows how to lead a man to the altar.”

  “He is not the sort of man who will allow anyone to lead him.”

  “Drink your sherry,” Lady Atherton said. “And if you’re smart, you’ll let Bellingham catch you.”

  Laura had let that happen twice, and she saw nothing smart about it at all.

  Two hours later, Laura was replying to a letter from Rachel when a light tap sounded at the door. “Come in,” she said.

  “Lord Bellingham wishes to call on you, my lady.”

  “Very well. Show him up.”

  After Reed left, she hurried over to the mirror and pinched her cheeks. The curls by her ears were a bit limp, but there was no help for that now. She told herself that she would check her appearance when anyone called, but he was not just anyone. He was her friend.

  She smoothed her skirts and wondered why he’d called. After her conversation with Lady Atherton, Laura had grown increasingly curious about his family. Since they were friends, she ought to feel free to ask about his life. He certainly had inquired about hers. But his situation was complicated, and she knew from her years nursing Phillip that men disliked showing any sort of vulnerability. She must be patient and wait for a natural opportunity to broach the topic.

  A knock sounded and Bell walked inside. “I told Reed not to bother since I know my way upstairs.”

  She curtsied. “Please, take a seat. I’ll ring for a tea tray.”

  “Don’t trouble the servants. I won’t stay long.” He joined her on the sofa and cleared his throat. “Where is Justin?”

  “Upstairs, writing a letter to his grandparents.”

  “You made him write the letter?”

  “He wouldn’t think of it unless I reminded him,” she said.

  “I understand that Pembroke called on you.”

  She blinked. “Yes, two days ago. Lady Atherton was here as well. Why do you ask?”

  Bell drew in a breath. “He announced at White’s in a rather conspicuous fashion that he meant to propose to you.”

  “What?” She placed her hand over her heart. “I am stunned. Why would he make a spectacle of himself? I’ve only met him twice before. How dare he bandy my name around in conjunction with his own?” When she rose, he did as well. Laura started pacing. “Oh, this is mortifying. He has made me the center of attention in your club.” She fisted her hands. “I will blister his ears if he ever comes near me again.”

  “There is more,” he said.

  “Oh, no.”

  “This was bound to come out,” he said. “It is now common knowledge that you are wealthy. That means fortune hunters will target you.”

  “They can jolly well target someone else,” she said.

  He shrugged. “You are a beautiful, rich widow.”

  “I am a lady, not a prize to be won.”

  He caught her by the shoulders. “Laura, I know you’re overset, but you’re too clever to let a bounder fool you.”

  “I don’t like the idea of all those men talking about me.” It seemed sordid to her.

  His mouth curved in that lopsided smile she knew so well. “Well, they can look, but they cannot touch.”

  “I don’t want them ogling me, either,” she said.

  He’d done that the first time he’d seen her, but then again, she’d done her share of looking as well. “Did you accept Lady Norcliffe’s invitation to her ball?”

  “Yes, Lady Atherton sent a note. She will take Justin and me in her carriage.”

  “If I stay near you at the ball, that will warn the jackals off,” he said.

  “No offense, but given your reputation, that will send a different message, one that is likely to set tongues wagging.”

  “You mean, because I’m a rake? I haven’t been a very good one lately, you know.”

  She frowned. “What?”

  “Well, except for drinking a bit too much brandy at the club and smoking a few cheroots.”

  “Eww!”

  He laughed. “Men aren’t as fastidious as women.”

  “I know,” she said. �
�I have brothers.”

  “And I never replaced my last mistress. I definitely get a deduction in raking for that.”

  She tried to wriggle away from him, but he held her fast. “How dare you speak of such a subject in my presence?”

  “The mistress left weeks ago,” he said.

  “You are outrageous.”

  “So you’ve said before, but we’re friends, and I’ve made no secret there have been women in my life.”

  She pushed on his rock-hard chest to no avail.

  “Now you’re angry because I told you that I’m failing as a rakehell,” he said.

  “Next thing you’ll be telling me you have needs.” That had slipped. She might as well have thrown a door open to perdition.

  “A man with needs can find solitary relief,” he said, “but wanting what is so near to hand and yet forbidden is like drinking from an empty cup.”

  “No, you could drink your fill, but without tender feelings the cup would always be empty.”

  He released her. “You mean love.”

  “Have you ever been in love?” she asked.

  “No.”

  She felt an overwhelming compulsion to encourage him to open his heart, but her heart was fragile as well. The budding tender feelings in her chest scared her, because there was no future for them, only a friendship for the season.

  “You are a singular woman,” he said.

  She knit her brows. “How so?”

  “You are the only woman who ever said no to me.”

  “Obviously you were overdue for a lesson in humility,” she said.

  He put his fist on his hip. “I’m an earl. Haughtiness comes with the title.”

  “At least you’re honest,” she said. “By the by, you will not try to protect me from fortune hunters at the ball. I am quite capable of discouraging all manner of rogues.”

  “Including me,” he said.

  “You proved quite determined, but I’ve always been up to the challenge.”

  He winked. “If I see you flirting, I’ll be mortally jealous.”

  “I suspect you’ll never know.”

  “Oh, why is that?” he asked.

  “Because you will be surrounded by a dozen women all vying for your favors.”

  “But they won’t be you,” he said.

  “Bellingham, go find a snake to charm.”

  “I would rather charm you…into a kiss.”

  Bell had teased her, but the intense expression in his eyes was meant to draw her to him. She felt the pull of his will, and a wicked part of her wanted to walk into his arms. But she only wagged her finger. “I am impervious to temptation.” It was a bouncer, of course.

  “Are you sure you won’t reconsider?”

  Dear God, he would tempt a saint, and she most certainly was not one. But she shook back her curls as she looked up at him, amazed anew by his beautiful blue eyes. “You know the answer to that.”

  “Woe is me,” he said, “but now we’re friends, so you can’t get rid of me so easily. I’m quite fond of you.”

  Her heart beat a little faster. It was an admission, but what did it mean? She couldn’t think properly when he was so close, and the heady scent of him swirled all around her.

  He tugged on the curl by her ear. “I’d better go.”

  She felt a little giddy as she walked with him to the door.

  “I will see you at the ball,” he said.

  After she closed the door, Laura leaned her hands against it. I’m quite fond of you. Her heart continued to thump as she tried to discern whether he’d intimated deeper feelings. He’d said he would be jealous if other men flirted with her, but they had both reverted to banter and teasing. Yet somehow it hadn’t felt like teasing at all. He’d looked at her as if he didn’t want to let her go.

  She turned round and hurried to the window, wanting to see him again. Perhaps he would look up and wave at her. She laid her hand against the cool glass, and not long afterward, he strode down the pavement. “Look back,” she whispered.

  He climbed inside without a backward glance, and reality washed over her. She leaned her forehead against the glass. How could she be so foolish? She wasn’t a giddy young girl with her first beau. She knew better, and still she’d stupidly tried to make more of his confession that he was fond of her. He’d meant as a friend.

  How could she let herself look for meaning in his words when she knew better? He’d mastered the art of seduction; it was like breathing to him. The flirting, the banter, the jests were all a part of his charm. Oh, she’d wanted his deep, wet kisses, but one kiss would lead to another, and another. The next time, and there would be one, she would tell herself it was over, but she would fail, because he’d begun to mean more to her than he should. Eventually, the kisses would lead to touches, and the craving would intensify until she abandoned all of her principles and gave herself completely to him.

  If she allowed it to happen, she would no longer be singular; she would only be another woman he bedded and forgot. And while he moved on to his next conquest, she would be left to pick up the shattered pieces of her heart.

  Bell knocked on the roof of the carriage. When it rolled off, he pinched the bridge of his nose. He’d gone to her house with one purpose: to warn her about fortune hunters. Then he’d proceeded to tease and flirt with her. Damned if he hadn’t tried to coax her into a kiss.

  They had both danced all around what was between them, and the banter had been a way to keep it light. If it were only flirtation, they could simply laugh and be just friends. But each time they touched or came close to each other, the tension grew and grew until it felt unbearably like an impending thunderstorm.

  He’d not been jesting when he’d said she was the first to tell him no.

  At the ripe age of twenty, his scrawny frame had filled out. His muscles developed, due in part to the fencing lessons, but also it seemed he was destined to grow as broad and tall as his father. Women had taken notice of his athletic build and commented on his bright blue eyes. He’d always thought it made him look odd, but he wasn’t about to argue with the countless women who coaxed him into their beds.

  In all the years of journeying on the Continent and the past year here in England, he’d never met any woman he couldn’t walk away from.

  He’d intended to walk away from Laura, but he hadn’t. It was strange how one decision to call on her with that flask had changed so much. He’d thought to make her his mistress, but he’d realized almost immediately that she was not that kind of woman.

  All this time, he’d told himself that he’d wanted her because she wouldn’t go to bed with him, and he’d thought it was like the proverbial forbidden fruit. If it were that simple, he would never have gotten so involved in her life. He would have found another woman who would give him what he wanted. But something inside of him had shifted. He didn’t understand it completely, but he knew it was because of Laura.

  In hindsight, the part that astounded him was that he hadn’t even attempted to find a new mistress. He wanted Laura, but he knew he couldn’t have her, not in the way he wanted.

  He couldn’t go on this way or he’d end up a madman.

  He would find a new mistress, right after Mrs. Norcliffe’s ball.

  Three days later

  Laura considered wearing the pretty gown with lace round the hem, but she knew why it tempted her. She wanted to impress Bellingham, and she would not do it.

  After their last encounter, she’d taken herself in hand. She’d become a bit infatuated with him. What woman wouldn’t be flattered by his teasing and flirting? As long as she remembered that this was nothing more than a friendship for the season, there was nothing to worry about. Having made up her mind, she donned a simple white day dress and checked her reflection in the cheval mirror. “Fran, is this neckline too low for daytime?”

  “Perhaps you could tuck a fichu into the bodice.” The maid went to the wardrobe and produced a rather sheer one. After Fran helped her insert the f
ichu, Laura looked in the mirror again. It provided only marginal modesty, but any heavier fabric would look out of place.

  She pinched her cheeks and walked downstairs to the drawing room to find her son slouching in a chair. Laura perched on the sofa. “Justin, your surly expression troubles me. Lord Bellingham will arrive soon for your fencing lesson. You ought to be grateful for the opportunity, but if you cannot, tell me now. I will explain to Lord Bellingham that you no longer wish to fence.”

  “It’s not the fencing that provokes me,” he said. “It’s the way he speaks to me as if he has some right to tell me what to do. He’s not my guardian.”

  She sighed. “Is that such a hardship? He could easily ignore you, but he hasn’t. And do you know why?”

  He huffed. “Yes, because his real interest is in you.”

  “No, Justin. He was here the day your uncle called, and he told me that your uncle would make a terrible guardian to you. I did not expect him to return after that, but he did because he was concerned.”

  “What does he have to gain from it? You.”

  “He is a friend, nothing more. I think you could learn a great deal from Lord Bellingham’s wisdom,” she said.

  “How can you say that when you know his reputation?” Justin said.

  “You view him from one side only,” she said. “People are far more complex. I’ve gotten to know him fairly well, and he is a very honorable man.”

  “You defend him because he’s turned your head.”

  “He doesn’t need my defense. I’m only stating what I know about him firsthand and from what Lady Atherton has told me. But if you cannot be respectful in his presence, then do not attend the fencing practice. I will leave that decision to you.”

  A knock sounded. Bellingham opened the door. “I told Reed I’d see myself up,” he said.

  Laura rose and looked at Justin with raised brows.

  Justin stood as well. “So, will I be posing again?”

  Bellingham huffed. “No, today you’ll practice lunges. In a fortnight, you can try your hand at a real fencing bout with me.”