Don't Tell

by Violet Paige

  Shit. I felt the color drain from my face. “Are you going to tell anyone?”

  “No, but you aren’t either.”

  “No, no one. It never happened.”

  She pulled me into an unexpected hug. “It certainly didn’t.”

  I didn’t know whether to feel relieved or disgusted. Was this blackmail, or girl bonding? I was confused. She smelled like hairspray and sweet perfume. Unlike me, she was in full makeup.

  “Thanks, Heather. I mean it. I appreciate you keeping this between us.”

  “Sure thing. It was a mistake. We all get one pass. You’re new to football and to the Goddesses, so I can see how it would happen.”

  “Heather, I have a question.”

  “Hmm? What’s that?” She sat back.

  “If you knew who he was, why did you let me leave with him?” It had been eating away at me since Presley told me about the Wranglers in the bar last night. Every single one of them had known who was buying the drinks except me.

  I was the only Goddess who didn’t know we were in a room full of the opposition. I was swept up in Sam. I was mesmerized by his eyes and arms. Was it that obvious to Heather? I waited for an answer.

  She squeezed my arm. “You were having fun.”

  My eyebrows rose. “You let me jeopardize my job for fun?”

  “How did I know if he told you he played for the Wranglers? You’re a big girl, Natalia. I didn’t know you were going to leave with him. I might be the captain, but I’m not going to interrogate every guy one of my girls talks to and ask him what his intentions are. That’s breaking an entirely different code.”

  I tried to avoid rolling my eyes. There were so many damn codes I couldn’t keep them straight.

  “Did the other guys mention it? Did they tell you they played for the Wranglers?” I asked.

  She giggled. “First thing out of their mouths.”

  “He didn’t say a thing,” I said softly.

  “He probably didn’t want you to think of him as a football player. I’m guessing you didn’t tell him you’re a Goddess.”

  I shook my head. I wasn’t going to tell her I didn’t want him to know. I did everything to avoid the topic of careers when we met. I was ashamed to put on this uniform, but to Heather, it was everything. She had Goddess pride I couldn’t comprehend. Presley had already called me out on it once tonight. I needed to think about what she said.

  “So then neither of you knew what you were doing. Like I said, you get a freebie. Don’t worry about it. Just don’t do it again. Wranglers are off limits, girl.”

  “I can’t lose this job, Heather. It’s all I have. I’m committed. I swear.”

  “Aww, honey, don’t talk like that. It’s going to be fine.”

  I didn’t want to cry in front of her. But my eyes stung from too much makeup and the trap I was now in. If the Warriors fired me, I didn’t have a safety net. My father had cut my mother and me off when she moved us to Dallas. Once that happened, I never felt like I could take a penny from him.

  My mom made sure I attended dance school in Dallas and paid for all the lessons and instructors I wanted. I couldn’t go to her now and ask for more. I was determined to live doing what I loved, and with the sudden realization I could lose this job, I discovered how lucky I had been all along to land on this dance squad.

  I dabbed a tissue to the corner of my eye. I smiled weakly. “It’s not like we’d see each other anyway, right?”

  She laughed and picked up her travel bag with the gold Goddess logo on the side. “We play them next month in San Antonio.”

  “Oh.”

  “Are you going to be okay?”

  I folded the tissue and tossed it in the trashcan. “I’m good. Really. Thank you again, and I think I really understand what you need from me on this team.”

  “It’s between us. Don’t lose any more sleep over Sam Hickson, okay?”

  I lied again. “Okay.”

  “Good night.”

  “Good night.”

  Heather had reminded me again I was out of my league. I hadn’t looked at the schedule or realized we played the rival team twice a season. We would be in Sam’s city in a month. I’d have to see him again.

  That was the problem. I wanted to. I wanted a glimpse of those eyes, and his hands. I wanted to remember his lips searing into my skin. I didn’t want to forget Sam, but I had to. As long as I was a Goddess, I had to stay far away.

  Besides, now that I knew he was a famous tight end, things seemed different. He wouldn’t want me. I had been around the Warrior players enough to know the drill. They were multi-millionaires. They kept their distance from the squad, and I knew the Wranglers wouldn’t be any different. If I remembered, they had their own dance squad, the Fillies, who probably filled the same role we did.

  I pressed my forehead on the vanity table, taking deep breaths until the stadium was silent and the only thing I could hear was the sound of my breath. I had a month to forget about last night and get my shit together.

  15

  Sam

  One month later

  My name was engraved on a gold plate over my locker. I wiped a finger across the letters. I remembered the first time I walked in the locker room as a rookie and saw my name with my uniform set up in the mahogany cubby. Hard to believe that was over a year ago.

  Everything was here ready to go. My cleats, my shoulder pads, my helmet were all sitting out lined up. I picked up the helmet. The W emblazoned on the side was shined, reflecting the lights overhead. This place was immaculate. I loved it. Every square inch of it. It was always my dream to play for the Wranglers.

  How could a kid grow up in Texas and not want to play Texas football? My grandfather played. My dad played. And now I played. This was my legacy. It was my birthright to be a Wrangler.

  Some days, it didn’t feel real. But here I was, about to suit up for today’s game against the Warriors.

  Cavan dropped his bag next to me. “Can you believe we’ve won four in a row?”

  “Nice being on a championship team, isn’t it?”

  I only had one season under my belt, but standing next to the rookie, I felt experienced. I was on the winning team. He hadn’t earned that honor yet.

  “Yeah. Wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

  “Today will make five.” After we ran up the scoreboard on them last month, we felt confident today’s game wouldn’t be a problem. I liked starting the season five and O.

  “You going to be at the Dean, right?” he asked.

  I nodded. “Of course. Wouldn’t miss it. But I doubt you can do better than what I pulled off last year.”

  “Heard you had more women than we have guys on the team and a high-dollar poker table.”

  “There was more than that. It was epic. Last year goes down in the history books. They say it was the best Dean ever.”

  “I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.”

  I pulled the parts of my jersey out of the cubby. “I’ll be there.”

  “I’ve basically asked everyone about the Deans from back in the day. Even the first one Larry Dean threw, and it’s going to have a little bit of everything.”

  “You talked to some of the old Wranglers?”

  He nodded. “You should have heard them talk about the first Dean.”

  “Damn.”

  A few of the other guys began to trickle in while we talked about the party. I knew what it was like to organize the event. It was a bitch at best. But it was a Wrangler tradition the guys loved.

  I’d make a quick appearance and get out of there. I wasn’t going to get trapped into breaking my rule again. I’d already made that mistake once this season.

  I had almost forgotten. Almost.

  And then I saw her from the corner of my eye. She was behind the Warriors’ bench, cheering for the small crowd of fans assembled on the opposing team’s side.

  Her hair seemed longer. It was down around her shoulders and her arms waved wildly in the air w
ith pompoms. She looked beautiful. Gorgeous. I wanted to run across the field and tell her what she was doing to me. I wanted to tell her she was the reason I had forgotten the next play I was supposed to run. She was why I had forgotten the last play I did run.

  I saw her and I remembered the night we spent together last month. I thought I had found a way to keep it from interfering, but one glimpse of Natalia and my hard work was over. I was so fucked, there weren’t words for it.

  “Sam?”

  I held my helmet. “Yeah?” I didn’t know who had called my name.

  “You’re supposed to be out there.”

  Whoever it was shoved me onto the field. I stumbled to the line. It happened again. My mind felt fuzzy. I remembered her lips and the way she tasted on my tongue. The smoothness of her skin and how her toned legs felt under my stroking palm.

  God, I had lost it. I had fucking lost my mind to let a girl get in my head like this. This was exactly what Maddie had done. She had made it so it was impossible to think. I couldn’t concentrate after she fucking obliterated my trust.

  I wiggled my fingers, trying to reconnect to the game. I needed to ground myself here. Smell the sweat. Hear the growls across the line. Watch the anger flare in the Warriors’ eyes.

  Wes called the play and I lunged forward with the anger pent up inside me. Anger I didn’t realize I was still carrying from all those years ago. I tossed the lineman to the ground as if he weighed half as much as I did instead of double. There was satisfaction in seeing him pound his helmet into the grass.

  There was a reason I loved playing this position. I could run and score, but there were moments like this when I could focus my energy on the sole strength of my body and shove another man’s face on the chalk lines of the field. My fists clenched as I took a deep breath and moved away from him.

  As soon as it was over my eyes were on their sideline. I couldn’t look away. She kicked her leg high in the air and I remembered that leg on my shoulder. I remembered kissing her calf as I fucked her like I’d never fucked another woman.

  I shook my head. I had to get back in the zone or I was going be the one to get knocked on my ass. I had pissed that lineman off. He cracked his knuckles and growled at me. He wasn’t going to be as easy to take down this time.

  I was still tracing the lines on her legs when Wes crouched behind the center.

  “21-42-Go-Go!” Wes shouted and I froze. My eyes cost me a second to prepare. I was staring at her instead of dodging the angry Warrior gunning for me. The lineman dove at my thighs and I landed on my back with a heavy thud. I felt the impact rattle my teeth. Damn it.

  I stood up, shaking off the hit.

  And I looked across the field again. She was staring at me. For that second, I didn’t hear the fans or the whistles. I didn’t hear the lineman taunt me, or the coordinators shouting from the sideline. I saw her, and this time, I wasn’t going to let her get away.

  16

  Natalia

  I was supposed to be prepared for this. I had told myself repeatedly that seeing Sam Hickson wouldn’t affect me, but I watched as he hit the ground and I had to keep myself from running on the field to see if he was okay. Who does that? What was I thinking? Where had that need come from?

  I wasn’t a medic. I wasn’t even his girlfriend. But I felt it. The pull to him the instant I thought something was wrong. I didn’t want him to be hurt or feel pain. I waited nervously for a sign that it wasn’t a serious hit.

  I had to get out of Sam’s city. The only problem was, we weren’t leaving until tomorrow. The Warriors had decided to do promotion for the Goddesses in San Antonio. I didn’t know why. And now I realized why I had felt anxiety all week. It was the same feeling I got before a big performance. My hands were sweaty and I’d wake up in the middle of the night for no reason. I tried to reassure myself I was fine, but I wasn’t. How could I be with Sam this close?

  He jumped up and ran back to the line. I let out a big breath. He was okay. I turned to face the fans and smiled, kicking my leg high in the air.

  It had been a month. A month that didn’t include him. A full month of me throwing myself into practice as if I were the most dedicated Goddess on the squad. A month where I made appearances at charity events and hospitals. A month when I posed for two different calendars. A month I fell asleep begging myself not to dream about his body. A month when I had failed at anything to do with shutting Sam Hickson out of my thoughts.

  The forty girls on the team had a bus for driving around San Antonio. I hauled my bag to the side of the big vehicle blowing diesel exhaust, and shoved it underneath the cargo hold. The mood around the team wasn’t good. They had lost again. And there was nothing worse than losing to the Wranglers.

  “I hate it when the guys lose,” Heather whined.

  “Me too.” I patted her shoulder.

  We walked up the stairs and took a seat behind the driver. I heard we were staying on the Riverwalk. The guys were flying back to Austin tonight. I was glad we weren’t on the same flight. I knew what that trip would be like.

  They would argue about the refs, and how there was a conspiracy to make the Wranglers Texas’s team. They’d curse like sailors and complain about the plane. I’d heard it before.

  It was a quick ride to the hotel, and we gathered around the side of the bus as our bags were tossed on the sidewalk. I selected mine from the pile and lugged it on my shoulder.

  “Glad we’re rooming together.” Heather walked up next to me. “It’ll be like training camp.”

  “Except we don’t have to get up at five,” I reminded her.

  “True. We can sleep in for once.”

  Our manager had emailed the schedule for tomorrow and our first photo shoot didn’t start until almost eleven. I had a vision of sleeping in and ordering room service. It sounded as if Heather was as tired as I was. We practiced four days a week, made charitable appearances, met early before games, and danced for four hours straight during the games. By the time the game was over, we were exhausted. Mondays were usually our days off, but not this time. We had to work.

  It took a while for all of us to check in. It would have been nice if the squad had let us have our own rooms, but if I had to have a roommate, Heather was a good choice. I felt closer to her over the past month. She knew my secret about Sam, and even though we didn’t discuss what happened, it gave us an intangible connection.

  She handed me the key card to the room. “What if we get in our PJs and have a romcom marathon and order some dinner?”

  I smiled. “I love that idea. I don’t think I can muster up the energy to go out. I’m exhausted.”

  “I call dibs on the shower.” She giggled, pretending to race me to the elevators.

  I wished we were in a fancy hotel with big Jacuzzi tubs, but there was no way ownership would spring for that. The back of my leg was starting to ache. It usually did after a game. It was another reminder that I wasn’t ready for troupe auditions. The more I danced, the stronger I became. Sticking with the Goddesses had been good for me. It was increasing my stamina and my muscle awareness. I saw that now.

  I followed Heather in the elevator and to our room. She took the bed closest to the window.

  “Why don’t you look for the romance channel while I hop in the shower?”

  “All right.” I picked up the remote and sat on the edge of the bed.

  I was still wearing my Warriors traveling suit that marked us as the dance team when we were going to a game. The pants were tight, but stretchy, and the top zipped up over a sports bra.

  I looked around the room when I heard the phone buzz. I leaned over a pile of pillows and grabbed the receiver.

  “Hello?”

  “Hello, this is the front desk.”

  “Hi.”

  “I have a delivery for a Ms. Dupont.”

  “Me? What is it?” I couldn’t imagine what was at the desk. We hadn’t ordered food yet. “I’m not expecting anything. It might be for one of the other girl
s.”

  “No, no. It specifically says Natalia Dupont.”

  “Oh. Okay, I guess I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

  “Thank you, Ms. Dupont.”

  I hung up and knocked on the bathroom door. “Hey, Heather, I have to run down to the front desk to pick up something. I’ll be right back.”

  “Okay, I’m almost finished,” she called through the door.

  She had been in there at least fifteen minutes. I doubted she was in a rush to get out.

  I picked up the second key card and shoved it in my jacket pocket. I tried to think of what was waiting for me downstairs as I rode the elevator to the lobby level.

  As soon as the doors retracted, I knew. He didn’t have to turn around for me to recognize him.

  Sam.

  He must have heard the elevator ding because he spun around to face me.

  I was afraid to approach him. My heart pounded. I was certain he’d be able to hear it. I froze next to the elevators.

  Was it stupid that I wanted to run and jump in his arms? At the same time, I couldn’t move.

  “Natalia.” His eyes lit up and it all came flooding back.

  The night in Austin together. The night I gave myself to him completely. The night that haunted me no matter what I tried to do to forget it.

  He walked toward me and I felt the blood rush through my veins.

  “Wh-what are you doing here?” I stammered.

  “I wanted to see you,” he replied.

  God, that voice. It was smooth and low and made my core start to ache.

  I looked around the lobby, realizing one of the Goddesses could spot us talking. I grabbed his arm and pulled him into the closest room I could find. It was a ballroom the hotel used for conferences. It was dark inside, and I suddenly realized this might be worse than being seen together in the light.

  “We can’t… We said we wouldn’t…” I couldn’t put a full sentence together.

  Sam’s hands rested on my face and pulled my mouth toward him. I took a breath before his lips descended on mine. I didn’t know if it was instinct, want, or pure misery from missing him, but I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him harder than I’d ever kissed anyone in my life. His tongue whipped wickedly over my tongue and I moaned when I felt his teeth nip along my bottom lip, dragging it playfully.