Wings of Refuge

by Lynn Austin

  “We came to see my husband off on a trading venture,” she said. “He sailed for Crete yesterday, to the city of Lasea.” She remembered the name of the port from one of Master Reuben’s voyages. She tried to read the man’s reaction to her lie and realized that he wasn’t looking at her. He was studying the servants’ faces behind her. She turned to follow his gaze and was horrified to see Master Reuben’s blue ring glinting in plain sight as he held Elizabeth in his arms.

  Leah hurried over to him, and reached to caress the child. With her own body blocking the strangers’ view, she gripped Reuben’s hand and tugged on his ring to draw his attention to it, then she lifted Elizabeth from his arms.

  “Please, my daughter is very frightened,” Leah said. As soon as Reuben’s hands were empty, he quickly put them behind his back to slide the ring from his finger. “I would be happy to pay you for our safe conduct,” Leah told the strangers. “My husband supports the cause of freedom. In fact, my brother Gideon joined a Zealot band a few years ago. Maybe you know him—Gideon ben Jesse, from Degania?”

  The leader shook his head. “Is that where you’re from? Degania?”

  “I was born there, but I moved to my husband’s village when I married.” Leah knew she would start tripping over her lies if this ordeal didn’t end soon. She shifted Elizabeth to her other hip and untied Reuben’s money pouch. “How much—”

  “Keep your money,” the leader said with a growl. He gestured toward the gate. “Go. But I advise you to stay off the main roads.”

  Leah bowed to him in respect, fighting tears of relief. “Thank you, my lord. May God go with you.”

  * * *

  When they arrived home two days later it was late in the evening. Leah had just finished putting Elizabeth to sleep and was preparing for bed herself when Miriam came to her room. “Master Reuben has asked to see you in the receiving room,” she said.

  “Now? But Elizabeth is already asleep and—”

  “He said for just you to come . . . without Elizabeth.”

  Leah had already taken her hair down for the night, but she quickly coiled it on her head again and got dressed. What could he possibly want? He had never sent for her alone before. The thought of having his full attention, without Elizabeth, made her heart pound as if she were running a race. Then she remembered how disrespectfully she had talked to him in Caesarea, how she had ordered him around, shouted at him, and she was suddenly afraid. She started out the door, realized she was barefoot, and went back to tie on her sandals.

  Master Reuben was seated in the chair where he always sat, with a small meal the servants had fixed for him on the ivory table beside him. It looked to Leah as though he hadn’t touched the food. He was wearing one of his own robes again, and his hair was still damp from his bath. He glanced up when Leah entered, and his gaze followed her all the way into the room. She bowed to him, then stood waiting.

  “Please sit down, Leah.” He gestured to the leather stool where she usually sat when she came with Elizabeth. For a moment or two he didn’t speak but sat with his hand over his mouth and chin, stroking his beard. He wore the blue ring on his finger again, and it glistened in the lamplight like dappled sunshine on a brook.

  “I’ve been trying for two days,” he said, “to find the words to thank you for what you did in Caesarea. I still haven’t found them. I owe you my life.” He lowered his hand from his face and absently twisted the ring with his other hand while he spoke.

  Leah remembered the warmth of his smooth hand when she had grasped it, and she had to look away to keep from blushing.

  “Since I can’t tell you how grateful I am,” he continued, “I will have to show you. I am setting you free, Leah.”

  Leah’s head jerked up at his words. She stared at him in disbelief, her eyes meeting his plum-colored ones.

  “I realize that your seven years are not quite finished,” he said, “but in the morning we will go before two witnesses and officially end your servitude. You will be free to go.” Leah was so stunned she barely heard the rest. “I have asked Ehud to prepare a gift of silver and two sets of clothing for you so you will not leave here empty-handed.”

  Leave? She couldn’t leave Master Reuben! She was in love with him! How could she possibly go away and never see him again? She continued to stare at him, openmouthed, unable to speak.

  “Leah? Is something wrong?” he asked.

  Leah knew she was being very rude. He was offering her freedom and gifts besides, and she hadn’t even thanked him for his generosity.

  She slid off the stool onto her knees in front of him, trying to form the proper words of gratitude. But when she opened her mouth to speak them, what came out was, “I don’t want to leave, Master Reuben. I want to have my ear pierced with an awl, like Miriam and Ehud did. I want to be your bond servant.”

  He shook his head as if it was out of the question. “No! You saved my life!” he said angrily. “How on earth can I make you my bond servant for the rest of your life? No! I am setting you free. That’s the end of the matter. You’re dismissed.”

  Her tears came once she was back in her room. Couldn’t he see that he wasn’t rewarding her, he was punishing her? What could she possibly do with her freedom? At twenty years of age she was too old to attract a husband, except an elderly widower, perhaps. Would any other man besides Master Reuben appreciate the fact that she could read and write—or even allow her to? And what about Elizabeth? Leah loved the child as her very own daughter. Why couldn’t Master Reuben see that? Why couldn’t he marry her and they could be a family, as they had been in Caesarea? But Leah knew it was hopeless to think that a man like Master Reuben would marry her, a mere servant. Even as a free woman she was far beneath him. Beautiful Mistress Ruth had come from a wealthy aristocratic family like his.

  Leah loosened her hair again and lay down on her pallet as the horrible truth began to slowly sink in. Tomorrow she would have to leave the villa that had been her home for six years. Tonight was the last night she would spend as Master Reuben’s servant. She thought of all the fears she’d had on the last night she had spent with Mama and Abba before coming here and how wrong she had been about what life in this house would be like. Her biggest fear had been that Master Reuben would make her his concubine, and now . . . now she remembered being mistaken for his wife in Caesarea and realized how much she wished for that very thing. Suddenly another thought occurred to her. As long as he still owned her, it was legal according to the Law of Moses for him to take her as his concubine. And if he did . . . if she became his mistress, then they could both have their wishes. He could set his concubine free, but Leah could stay with him always.

  She lay awake for a while longer until she was certain that the household was asleep. Then, with the story of Ruth and Boaz on her mind, Leah crept from her room and across the darkened courtyard to Master Reuben’s sleeping chamber. The lamps were out in all of the rooms, including his. She slipped inside and saw him asleep on his ivory bed beneath the window. Leah tiptoed across the floor and lay down on the bed at his feet as Ruth the Moabitess had done. He stirred in his sleep, then sat up a moment later, startled.

  “Who . . . ? Leah . . . ? What are you doing here?”

  She was trembling so hard she could barely speak. “I am still your servant, Master Reuben. According to the Law, you have the right to make me your concubine.”

  He stared, blinking in the darkened room as if wondering if he was dreaming. When he didn’t say anything, she added, “I have come to offer myself, like the Moabitess Ruth offered herself to Boaz. You have the right to redeem me. I know I’m not beautiful like Mistress Ruth was—”

  He reached to put his fingers over her lips, stopping her.

  “You’ve grown to become a very lovely woman, Leah. . . . How old are you?”

  “Twenty . . . nearly twenty-one.”

  “And I am almost twice that.”

  “Master Reuben, I love you.” She wasn’t able to stop the words. He stared at h
er in amazement.

  “What?”

  “Please don’t send me away. I can’t bear the thought of never seeing you again. That’s why I saved your life, don’t you see? I love you.” His eyes filled with emotion.

  “How could you love me? I took you from your father and your home, I’m hated by everyone in the district . . . perhaps in the country—Jews and Gentiles alike.”

  “But I know you, I know your heart. You’re not the man people think you are. Please forgive my boldness in coming to you, but you’re so sad, so lonely. I would do anything for you, Master Reuben.”

  “You will be set free tomorrow. Why—?”

  “I don’t want to be free. I want to become your concubine, as the Law says. I want to stay here . . . with you.”

  When he suddenly turned away and climbed from the bed, Leah felt shattered. She knew she should leave now that he had rejected her, but instead, she stood and went to him.

  “Master Reuben . . . what’s wrong?

  “I’m not the man you think I am. You know nothing of my business dealings, Leah. You don’t know the people I’ve cheated . . . the money I’ve skimmed off the top like cream before sending what was required to Rome. I always figured those hypocrites deserved it. The Pharisees and everyone else in this miserable town deserved to pay for the way they treated Ruth. The more people hated me, the more I took from them, and I justified it in my own mind.”

  Leah touched his arm. “I don’t care—”

  “I care,” he said, twisting away. “I deserved to die in Caesarea. But if I had . . .” He paused, pressing his fingers into his eyes. “I remember how Ruth asked for forgiveness and accepted Christ when she realized she was going to die . . . and I know I’m not right with God, either. I believe that Yeshua is the Messiah. I know in my mind that it’s true. But there’s no room for Him in my heart because of my hatred.” He lowered his hand and looked at her. “You should hate me, too, Leah. I took you from your family when you were only fourteen. I stole six years of your life because of my own greed. Yet you risked your life for me. And now you’re willing to throw away your future, too, by offering yourself to me?” He shook his head. “I can’t allow it.”

  “I love you—” she began, but he gripped her shoulders almost painfully, cutting off her words.

  “Would you love me if you knew that I only had to take your brother to repay your father’s debt, not you? Would you love me even then?”

  Leah closed her eyes as tears rolled down her face. It took a moment for her to comprehend his words. Master Reuben had cheated her father. He had cheated her. All these years she should have been free. She should have married, had a home and children of her own.

  She opened her eyes again a moment later and looked up at him. “I forgive you,” she whispered.

  “How can you?” he cried, releasing her again.

  “Because God meant it for good. If I hadn’t left home, I probably never would have learned to read and write . . . I never would have loved Ruth or Elizabeth . . . I might never have had a chance to listen to Nathaniel and learn about Yeshua. I wouldn’t have known that my sins were forgiven. . . . And I never would have known you, Master Reuben.”

  He sighed and ran his hand over his face. “I see the difference Yeshua makes in people’s lives—yours, Ehud’s . . . even Ruth’s for the short time she had left. I wish I could believe that He forgives me, too, but there’s just too much to forgive. I don’t deserve it until I try to change—”

  “It doesn’t work that way. If we could change ourselves, then Yeshua wouldn’t have had to die. We could just win God’s favor by sacrificing sheep and following all of the Pharisees’ laws and taking their stupid baths over and over again.”

  Reuben groaned. “It’s so difficult for me to accept something I didn’t pay for, something that doesn’t cost me anything.”

  “Do you make Elizabeth pay for the gifts you give her? Weren’t you willing to sacrifice your life for her in Caesarea? That’s what God the Father did for His children, because He loves us.”

  “And you risked your life for me,” he murmured. He pulled her close and held her as he had three years ago. Leah clung to him, her heart pounding against his ribs. Then he suddenly released her.

  “Not like this, Leah. I want to make you a free woman. . . .”

  “But I don’t—”

  “. . . and then I will make you my wife.”

  Leah wondered if she had misunderstood. When she realized that she hadn’t, she said, “I’m not worthy to marry you, my lord.”

  He rested his hands on her shoulders, gently this time. “No, I must ask God to make me worthy of you. But before you agree to marry me, you’d better consider the burden you’ll bear as my wife. You’ll be ridiculed as a sinner’s wife, hated, spat upon. You know how the people of Degania feel about me.”

  “I don’t care. I love you, Master Reuben.”

  He reached to caress her hair, which she wore unloosed. “Don’t call me master . . . just Reuben.”

  “I love you . . . Reuben.” It was easier to say than she thought it would be.

  “After Ruth died I never thought I would find another woman who could love me.”

  “I do,” she whispered.

  She thought Reuben would hold her again, but instead he said, “You need to go now, Leah. In the morning I will offer

  your father whatever dowry he asks.”

  She looked up at him, longing for him, but he turned her around and pushed her gently toward the door. “Go. While I still have the strength to resist.”

  The next day Reb Nahum and Rabbi Eliezer, the same men who had witnessed Leah’s servitude to Master Reuben six years ago, followed him to Leah’s house to act as witnesses again when he granted Leah her freedom. Then they watched in mute disbelief as he asked Leah’s father to name his bride-price. Leah’s parents were as dumbfounded as the Pharisees were. Reuben was a wealthy man. Why not make Leah his concubine? If he wanted her, why hadn’t he taken her already, as he was legally entitled to do? No one could understand it.

  Leah saw that her parents hated Reuben, as much as everyone else in Degania did. When Reuben counted out twice the price of the dowry Abba had named, then poured the betrothal wine he’d brought into a beautiful Nabatean cup, Abba was torn between accepting the money and refusing to allow his daughter to be joined to such a sinner. In a decision that astounded everyone, Abba said, “I will let you choose, Leah. The money is not important. I won’t sell you to him a second time.”

  Reuben offered the cup to Leah. Her hand brushed his as she accepted it from him. She tipped it high as she drank so there could be no doubt that she was accepting his proposal. They were betrothed.

  Very few villagers joined the merriment a week later as Leah and her wedding procession walked through the streets of Degania to Reuben’s villa. The marriage feast, which she and Reuben would celebrate with their Christian friends, would be held in his home, along with his baptism into the Christian faith. The Pharisees and their followers stared at her in sullen silence as she and Reuben passed. She had married a man they all hated, a man condemned as a sinner for collaborating with the Romans. A few even spit in her path. Leah remembered how the villagers had turned away from her six years ago as she had walked this route with her brother in shame. She had trembled at the thought of becoming Reuben’s concubine. Now she walked beside him with pride, her head held high, not caring that she was reviled for loving him. She would be blessed to wake up beside Reuben ben Johanan for the rest of her life, until death parted them.

  CHAPTER 13

  THE VILLAGE OF DEGANIA—A.D. 60

  Reuben’s workroom was nearly empty, his tax documents packed in bundles for shipping. Leah watched as a servant girl swept up the last of the dust. The room looked so different to Leah without the long tables and benches, the scribes bent over them beneath their lamp stands, copying their endless rows of figures. She found it difficult to believe that fourteen years had passed since the
day Reuben had led her into this room for the first time and given her the writing board. She had been a frightened servant girl, even younger than the one sweeping the floor.

  “The room looks so empty,” she sighed. “What shall we do with it?”

  Reuben pulled her close. “I don’t care. Lodge animals in it—board it up! I only wish I’d had the courage to give up tax collecting a long time ago.”

  But Leah knew it had taken time for him to complete his financial obligations to Rome and to pay back the money he had unjustly taken from his countrymen. He hadn’t collected one shekel more than required from them in the years since his baptism and had given a great deal of money away to his fellow believers. Yet he still didn’t feel as though he had done enough.

  “Hush!” she said, brushing her lips against his. “Our past is forgotten, remember? ‘As far as the east is from the west . . .’”

  Reuben looked down at her, and it was the same loving gaze he had once bestowed on Ruth. Leah could never quite get over her astonishment that Reuben ben Johanan loved her, too. They had been married nearly seven years—longer than the time she had spent as his servant—yet the years had flown so swiftly. They would celebrate their anniversary in two weeks, along with the anniversary of Reuben’s baptism.

  “The floor is clean enough,” he told the servant. “Thank you, you may go.” After the girl bowed and hurried away, Reuben reached to retrieve a cylindrical clay jar from the shelf, the only item that remained on it. He pulled off the lid. “I brought you here to show these documents to you, Leah. You may read them later, if you’d like. They are all my important legal papers and records, the deeds to the land I own, including this villa . . . and this one is my will. If anything happens to me . . .”

  “Reuben, please don’t say it—”

  “If anything happens,” he said firmly, “all of my property will go to you and Elizabeth. I want you to be familiar with my affairs so that no one will take advantage of you.” He put the lid back on the jar and handed it to her. It was surprisingly heavy.