by Li Rui
She stopped suddenly beside me and said, You scared the hell out of me.
I raised my head and said, I have something to say to you.
She said, What’s going on with you guys tonight? If you’re not laying me, you’re chasing me. What’s with you?
I said, I have something to say to you. I want to ask you if you have agreed to anything with Commune Head Liu?
It was so dark you couldn’t see a thing. But I could sense her smile—her white teeth flashed. She said, If I agree to anything or not, what does it have to do with you? That’s my business. Her white teeth flashing, she was like a living demon.
Keeping my head up, I said, I’m not trying to bother you; I’m just saying that that fucker is bad. I’m afraid he’ll deceive you.
She actually laughed and said, How pathetic! Not one of you can speak the truth, but you want to tell me how bad someone else is. Are you afraid that all of you runts together can’t take him on? Are you afraid I’ll leave with him and there’s nothing you can do about it? Huh?
It was like being hit in the face with a stone. It was so dark it was like talking to a black wall. My neck hurt; I lowered my head and said, There’s no need to be so nasty, okay? We’re afraid you’ll leave, we’re afraid you’ll leave, that’s why we’ve taken care of you; we can’t be grateful enough for you. Tell me, have we treated you badly in all these years at Stunted Flats?
It was so dark it was like talking to a black wall. The black wall wasn’t saying anything now, nor was it smiling, nor was it throwing stones. I felt like I’d been standing in this blackness for ages. Fuck it all to hell.
I said, Say something! Have we mistreated you?
She didn’t speak or smile. She left me on the black ground and walked away. I felt she was about to cry. That woman!
I said, I’ve been standing in the dark and the cold all day waiting for you to say something. Are you going to say anything?
All I heard in the dark was the sound of a door shutting. Someone’s dog barked in the distance. A shooting star fell across the sky and was immediately drowned in the darkness.
I left; I went home. Oh, that woman!
In days of yore was a woman named Meng Jiangnu.
Espoused she was to a man named Fan Xilang.
Their troth the two had just pledged when
Qinshihuang dispatched the man Fan to the border.
So distraught was Meng that no food or drink crossed her lips,
Fretting for fear that her man Fan was lonely and sad.
There were no drums and no one to accompany with wooden clappers. It was so dark it was like singing to a black wall. Ugly Baby’s grandpa sat on the stone roller and said, The coming of the Japanese was a disaster, but villagers, don’t commit suicide. Oh, women. My mom said that year I was seven years old. The year I was seven, I led Lanzi and on the threshing ground saw Huatou, whose legs had been chopped off, and I saw my grandpa on the sacred old tree at the entrance to the village. In Ugly Baby’s courtyard I saw the village women all naked, all standing white, the sun sizzling on the back of my head.
On the thirteenth of the ninth month a cold frost fell.
She set off to take clothes to her husband;
Warm clothes on her back, she set off for the Great Wall,
But nowhere was her man Fan to be seen.
Everyone spoke, they all said
The man Fan had long since passed away.
Hearing their words, Meng Jiangnu’s soul was grieved.
She climbed the wall, weeping for her husband,
Until the wall crumbled
Revealing her man Fan’s bones.
A whole courtyard full of naked women, standing, white … the sun sizzling on the back of his head. Ugly Baby’s grandpa said, If you all put an end to your lives, who will bear babies for Stunted Flats? Oh, women … Aihaihaihai …
Fuck it all to hell!
19
Dad, sleep over here—she wet the kang again!
20
Brightly, brightly shone the sun on the paper of the window.
He put away the little red book and said, Okay, did you clearly hear the two lines I just read from the quotations of Chairman Mao? I said, Yes. Tianzhu snickered to himself. He said, Then repeat to me what Chairman Mao says. I said, There are only two lines. One line says we can in no way be negligent; the other says if we are going to sweep, we must sweep clean. Tianzhu just smiled and said, Okay, Kugen’r, ask what you want to ask. He won’t remember. It’s like driving a duck onto a perch—it’s beyond him. You may as well ask Erhei. Again, he took out that little red book and said, Tianzhu, be more serious, is this any time to laugh? He opened the little red book and said, Okay, I’ll read it to you again: Chairman Mao instructs us thusly: “Everything reactionary is the same; if you don’t hit it, it won’t fall. This is also like sweeping the floor; as a rule, where the broom does not reach, the dust will not vanish of itself.” And, “Policy and tactics are the life of the Party; leading comrades at all levels must give them full attention and must never on any account be negligent.” There is something else I have to tell you, and that is that the Party’s strategy is “leniency for those who confess their crimes, and severity for those who refuse.” Did you hear that, Cao Yongfu? Okay, explain your relationship with Qin Nuanyu. Tianzhu is head of the production team and I am head of the political team—the two of us are the leaders of Stunted Flats, understand? Okay, explain your relationship with Qin Nuanyu. Tianzhu was still snickering to himself.
I said, What relationship?
He said, You are a rich peasant, a class enemy. In your improper relationship with Nuanyu, you are confusing the class ranks in Stunted Flats. Explain now. Leniency for those who confess their crimes.
I said, What is improper? She lives in her cave and I live in my stable. Is that improper? Also, you’ve never told me about those class ranks of yours, and I’ve never seen them, so how can I confuse them?
He said, You had best make things clear—how many times have you slept with Nuanyu? What have you said to Nuanyu?
What are you talking about? Fortunately, Erhei can’t understand you—what you’re saying is disgraceful. I said, What is this all about? Who is going to confess to such a thing? Kugen’r, you are not married, and you don’t know what is going on here. Who would say such a thing to anyone? Don’t you have any shame? That’s no better than being an animal, is it?
He said, Resistance will only make things worse.
I said, Worse or better, I won’t say. Tianzhu, you’re insulting people.
He said, Cao Yongfu, are you resisting? Let me tell you that this is class struggle. Chairman Mao says, “The revolution is not a dinner party, it is violent, it is the violent overthrow of one class by another.” Cao Yongfu, we’re not here today for a dinner party; you must in all honesty explain things! Once we have your confession, we will pursue more complicated issues.
Tianzhu winked at me.
I said, Tianzhu, Kugen’r, I don’t know what you’re up to, but for better or worse, I won’t tell you anything. I’m not going to join you and insult Nuanyu. What kind of person insults a woman? Besides, Nuanyu has suffered enough in her life, so I won’t join you in insulting her.
He said, Nuanyu is a contradiction among the people; you are a contradiction between ourselves and our enemies. Why do you insist upon confusing class ranks? I’m telling you, stubborn resistance will come to no good end!
Tianzhu said, Why are you being so foolish, Uncle Gimpy? Someone now wants to take Nuanyu from Stunted Flats. Kugen’r says this is a departure from the correct revolutionary stand, complicated class struggle. If you confess, Nuanyu is still Nuanyu and will stay here in Stunted Flats. Whoever has departed from the correct stand is the one who has made a mistake. Do you understand? Listen to Kugen’r and talk.
I said, I don’t care who has departed and who hasn’t. My stand, for better or for worse, is that I won’t say anything.
Tianzhu said, You really
are even worse than Erhei. Why are you so pig-headed about something so insignificant? It seems to me that you’re just asking for trouble.
I said, Kugen’r, Tianzhu, if you’ve come here today about this, then I suggest you leave now. I have nothing to say. I still have to feed them; after eating, they still have to pull the stone roller and the millstone.
He said, Cao Yongfu, on account of this stubborn resistance of yours, we’ll have to mobilize the dictatorship of the proletariat against you and convene a mass struggle meeting to struggle against you!
Tianzhu said, Good Uncle Gimpy, hurry up and speak and let me help you, okay?
He said, Tianzhu, take a firmer class stand. What are you doing? You can’t talk to a rich peasant in such a way.
I said, You guys had better leave. For better or for worse, I won’t say anything. I still have to feed them. After eating, they still have to pull the stone roller and the millstone.
Tianzhu said, Uncle Gimpy, you’re trying to pose as a good guy, a hero, today. And you think you can still avoid trouble for yourself?
I said, What kind of a hero does a deformed guy like me make? I’m less than a coward; I’m just a cripple from Stunted Flats. You guys can leave. They haven’t eaten yet this morning. Can’t you hear them champing at the manger?
He said, Cao Yongfu, think about it, we’ll give you one more chance. You mustn’t think that without your confession we don’t have our means. Even without your confession, we can continue to pursue this matter to the end. Chairman Mao says, “The golden monkey fights with a staff weighing a thousand jun; the universe is purified for ten thousand miles.” Regardless of how complicated class struggle is, we will expose class enemies, concealed or not, and in obedience to the directives of our great leader Chairman Mao, we will purify the class ranks in Stunted Flats!
I said, You guys better leave, I have to feed them.
Brightly, brightly shone the sun on the paper of the window.
Resisting or not, the sun still shines; lenient or not, when the time comes, the sky still grows dark. Isn’t that so, Erhei? I would never admit of such a thing to them. If I did, then Commune Head Liu would come after me, right? Isn’t that so, Erhei? Damn, I wish I could grow another pair of legs and join you to eat and drink, and have someone to love you without anything to worry about. That would be good.
That’s the sun shining so brightly on the paper of the window.
When the sun sets, the sky grows dark. Actually, if you close your eyes, everything grows dark. When you close your eyes, even the sun is dark. Isn’t that so, Erhei? They say your soul remains after you die. Is that the case, Erhei? Yes or no? Tell me.
21
I was standing behind him; the sun was shining ahead, the blinding sun shone around his black silhouette. You could smell the overpowering horsey odor on the other side of the door curtain. He shook his head and sighed. I said, What’s the matter? Are you disappointed, Kugen’r?
He shook his head and said, Tianzhu, you don’t understand me. All I want to do is take care of everything according to the directives of Chairman Mao. But I never expected that the level of our class enemies here would be so low. Tell me, what can be accomplished here? I really feel as if I have let down Chairman Mao and the Party. In what way am I the son of a martyr or the successor of the revolution? He wiped his face as he spoke.
I was standing behind him; the sun was shining ahead, the blinding sun shone around his black silhouette. I stood in his shadow, looking up at him as he wiped his face. I said, Look at you, you’re crying, aren’t you?
He said, I really feel I’ve let down Chairman Mao and the Party. I’m not the son of a martyr.
I said, Kugen’r, I think you’ve worked hard enough; who else could do what you have done the way you’ve done it? Insisting on forsaking the city and coming to this old mountain valley to suffer is already an accomplishment!
He said, Tianzhu, you don’t understand why I am doing this.
I said, No, I don’t. You’re not married, either; you have no life; who knows what you want to do? Let’s go to my place and eat. You don’t have to go home alone again and start a fire. You see what living alone all these years can do to a person. You can’t continue the revolution without eating, can you? Let’s go back to my place.
He shook his head and said, Tianzhu, you don’t understand me. You wouldn’t understand Zhao Yingjie, either. He walked away. The sun suddenly struck me, making my eyes smart. Understanding or not at every turn, what difference does it make? And who the hell is Zhao Yingjie? The youngster really is odd and terribly stubborn. It makes you feel sorry for him.
I turned and faced the door curtain and said, See, Uncle Gimpy, you made Kugen’r cry. You think about it. Keeping Nuanyu here in Stunted Flats is the most important thing for us. You’ll be making a contribution to Stunted Flats, okay? You’ll just be inconvenienced for a while, okay? I’m begging you. Later, the team will find a way to compensate you; the team will give you whatever you want, okay?
He ignored me.
The sun shone on the door curtain, shone on the wall, shone warmly on my back. The courtyard was completely silent. I looked back and saw that Kugen’r had already walked to the highest point in the village—the yellow earth bank, cleaved out of the wall of which was his cave. From a distance it looked like a single eye open in the middle of the wall of yellow earth, sizing up the distance all alone. The yellow earth overflowed with the golden light of the sun, shrouding Kugen’r in a golden halo. Above the golden land was a tile-blue sky, so blue it was dizzying.
The sun shone warmly on my back. Facing the door curtain, I said, Uncle Gimpy, I’m the team head, I handle things with the whole village in mind. This is not simply a matter between the two of us—are you really willing to let Commune Head Liu take Nuanyu away from us? Can we control Commune Head Liu without Kugen’r? Think about it, okay? Uncle Gimpy, I have to take the oxen out to graze, so I can’t stay here talking with you. Don’t fret, just think about it.
Still he ignored me.
Kugen’r said that I don’t understand him. Understand him? No mother or father, no wife, no life, he just spends all day worrying about accomplishing something. Even with accomplishments, you still have to marry and live, right? If no one in China got married or lived, there’d be no people, and then any accomplishment, no matter how big, would mean nothing. Who would the accomplishment be for? You can’t give it to the Japanese. Fuck it all to hell.
Kugen’r stood on the highest point of yellow earth, in which there is a single dark eye, above which was the tile-blue sky, so blue it was dizzying.
That youngster!
22
I didn’t hear her call and didn’t know where she went.
I said, Let’s go.
He said, Is that okay? What if Uncle Gimpy sees us?
I said, Every day at this time, Uncle Gimpy is at the threshing ground carrying straw. I guarantee he won’t see us. Let’s go!
He said, Is that okay? If Uncle Gimpy sees me and tells Dad, he’ll beat the hell out of me.
I said, Then you can just die of fear, you bastard! I’m going even if you don’t. When I bring back boiled beans and soy cakes, I’ll be damned if I give you a bite to eat, you bastard!
He wiped the snot from his nose on his sleeve and said, If you don’t give me anything to eat, I’ll tell Dad.
I said, You wouldn’t dare. Are you looking for a beating?
I paid no attention to him, turned, and ran off. Behind me he shouted, Brother, Brother, wait for me, wait for me.
I ignored him and kept on running. I knew very well he had to go with me. I didn’t turn around to look but just said Hurry up!
We were there in a flash. There was no one at the stable, not a sound, just a bunch of house sparrows pecking around in the manure. I picked up a dirt clod and threw it at the window; the house sparrows took flight and landed on the roof, to see if things were all clear before returning to the manure.
I said, Se
e, Second Dog, there’s no one here. The donkeys have all been taken off to work. Let’s go, the beans are in the pot.
I lifted the door curtain and once in the room, ran directly to the stove. I reached out and grabbed, but the beans were so hot they burned my hand, making me tremble.
Behind me, Second Dog began crying. Uncle Gimpy, Uncle Gimpy, I wouldn’t do it, it was all my elder brother’s doing, he told me to come. I wouldn’t do it, Uncle Gimpy. Don’t tell my dad….
I looked up and saw Uncle Gimpy standing on the kang, his small stool knocked over at his feet.
I said, Uncle Gimpy …
Uncle Gimpy didn’t say anything, nor did he turn.
I said, Uncle Gimpy …
Still Uncle Gimpy said nothing.
I took to my heels and ran. Second Dog was behind me shouting, Elder Brother, Elder Brother, wait for me.
I don’t know how far I ran before I stopped. Behind me, Second Dog was crying. Why didn’t you wait for me, why didn’t you wait for me?
I pulled Second Dog toward me and said, Second Dog, did you get a good look? Was it Uncle Gimpy?
Second Dog said, Of course it was. Uncle Gimpy was standing on the kang. He saw us.
I took all the black beans out of my pocket and handed them to him. I said, Okay, Second Dog, don’t cry. You can have the beans, eat up.
Second Dog took the beans and wiped his nose. Second Dog said, Elder Brother, there was a rope above Uncle Gimpy’s head.
I said, Hurry and eat, Second Dog. Remember, we can’t tell a soul.
Putting the beans in his mouth, Second Dog said, What would happen if we told?
I said, If we tell anyone, Dad will beat the hell out of us. Do you want a beating? Just remember, okay?
Second Dog said, I’ll remember. Second Dog said, I finished the beans, do you have any more?
I said, No.
Second Dog said, They were really good. Brother, how come there was a rope above Uncle Gimpy’s head? Why didn’t he say anything? He ignored us. He didn’t turn around and there was a rope above his head.