Heartless (An Enemies To Lovers Novel Book 1)

by Michelle Horst

  She leans her forehead against my chest. “You said you wouldn’t take her from me.”

  I frame her face with my hands and force her to look up at me.

  “I’m not taking her from you. You have a choice, Della. Come with.”

  Confusion washes over her face but she doesn’t look any calmer.

  “I can’t just leave Saluda. Jamie is about to start her sophomore year. What about the diner?”

  “What about your parents?” I ask, not understanding what Jamie has to do with all of this.

  Della takes a breath and shakes her head. “We never talked about our families.”

  She massages her temples tiredly and it makes me want to hold her. After all this time, I still care about this woman.

  “Jamie is my responsibility. Our dad died when we were young and our mother died my sophomore year. The only reason I could go study was because of Sue, but she passed away last year. The diner used to be hers.”

  Listening to her I once again realize that I know so little about her.

  “Obviously Jamie will come with. I’ll put her in a good school.”

  She shakes her head and laughs bitterly. “You can’t solve everything in life by throwing money at it.”

  “Fuck, Della. Can you give me a break? At least I’m trying.”

  She still has the gift of pissing me off in a split-second.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispers. She looks down at her feet.

  I glance down and notice that the strap of her one sandal is stapled down. I let my eyes go over her, really taking in the sorry state of her clothes. I’m sure I saw her wearing this exact outfit in college. There are dark circles under her eyes and she’s too thin.

  “How bad are things really? I’m not going to take Daniele away from you. I just want to help.”

  She covers her face with both her hands and whispers, “I can’t hold it together anymore. Nothing I do works. Everything just keeps getting worse. They’re going to close the diner in thirty days. We live upstairs. I just … I can’t.”

  I pull her into my arms and hold her to my chest. She’s been suffering all along and not once has she asked me for anything but to not take Daniele from her. This is what made me fall in love with her the first time. She’s so strong.

  Keeping one arm around her, I pull slightly away. I place a finger under her chin and nudge her face up. Her beautiful blue eyes are drowning in worry.

  “Let me help.”

  She nods and when she tries to take a step back, I tighten my hold on her. There’s confusion on her face when she looks up at me again.

  “I’ll have my attorney close the diner and settle the debt, to keep you from being declared bankrupt.”

  She starts to shake her head again and when she opens her mouth, I quickly cover it with my hand.

  “Just listen before you lose your shit. There’s nothing for you here, Della. You have a fucking degree. Why are you still waitressing? Let’s pack it all up. The three of you come with me. You can work at Indie Ink and pay me back every fucking cent if that will make you feel better. Think of Daniele. Think of Jamie. You can’t even take care of yourself never mind two kids. It’s time to let go of all of this. It’s time for a change.”

  When I move my hand away from her mouth, she asks, “Why would you do all that for us?”

  “You’re the mother of my child, Della. Jamie is Daniele’s aunt. You’re my family. Why the fuck wouldn’t I take care of my own.”

  Finally, she nods and it feels like I can breathe for the first time. “Only if you let me pay you back. I want it on paper.”

  “I’ll have Logan draw it up.”

  ***

  DELLA

  “Oh, wow,” Jamie breathes as we walk into our new apartment. “Let’s go find your room, Danny.”

  Wow is the understatement of the damn year. I glare at all the expensive stuff while I wait for Jamie and Danny to leave the huge living room.

  “This was not part of the deal,” I snap at Carter.

  “If you complain one more time about the moving, the apartment, the fucking clothes,” He shoves his hands through his hair. “Fuck, so help me God I’m going to kiss you until you shut up.”

  Kiss me?

  The thought actually makes my heart beat faster while butterflies explode in my stomach.

  It looks like he’s counting to ten, then he says, “You start work tomorrow. Where the fuck would you have found the time to do all of this, or even find a place to stay? It’s done. Say fucking thank you and let’s get on with our lives.”

  He follows after Daniele and I hear him say goodbye to her. “Daddy has to go to the office but I’ll be home for dinner, okay.”

  “Yes, Daddy,” her sweet voice answers him.

  He comes back out and pins me with a hard glare. “If you don’t want to live with me, you are welcome to move, Della. Just know that my daughter will stay here.”

  I’m so angry I’m going to spit fire. He’s been working on my nerves ever since I agreed to this mess.

  “You’re a control freak,” I snap at him as he stalks to the door.

  He glares at me before he leaves the apartment.

  I tighten my ponytail as I look around me. A penthouse. This is no place to raise a child. Danny loves to run and climb. She’s going to break something and Carter is going to have a heart attack.

  I start to remove anything that can hurt Daniele and shove it as high as I can. I make sure all the doors and drawers are fitted with safety catches so Danny won’t be able to open them without an adult nearby. I need a screwdriver. When I can’t find one I take one of his expensive butter knives and start to install the safety door at the bottom of the stairs. I don’t know what’s up there and I don’t care.

  Hours later, I’m done making sure there’s no way that Danny can get hurt. When I go check on her and Jamie, I find them both asleep on the double bed in Jamie’s room.

  This is the first time Jamie will have a room of her own. This is the first time Danny will have a room of her own. I need to do this for them.

  I go to Danny’s room and start to unpack all her clothes. Carter went crazy and practically bought our child every piece of clothing there is on the market. I look at all the stuffed animals and just shake my head. I understand that he’s trying to make up for three years, but he can’t keep doing this. I want Danny to appreciate everything in life and she won’t learn to if he keeps giving her everything her little heart wants.

  When I’m done with Danny’s room I go check what the food situation looks like. I open the fridge and pinch the bridge of my nose when I see a six pack of beer, two bottles of water and a half full bottle of wine.

  “Great, our first dinner will be alcohol.”

  The front door opens and Carter comes in. He places a bag on the counter before looking at me.

  “Have you calmed down?”

  I smile sweetly at him. “Welcome home, honey. Can I get you beer?” When he scowls at me I go on, “Or wait,” I open the fridge and wave over the contents inside, “would you rather have some wine.”

  He shoves the bag towards me. “I got food. Stop with the bitching.”

  I look in the bag and see that it’s fish and rice. I’m going to cry. No, first I’m going to lose my mind, then I’m going to kill him, and then I’ll go to jail. Then I’ll cry because I’m in jail for killing an asshole.

  I rub both my hands over my face and calm down, reminding myself that this is all new to Carter.

  “Daniele is allergic to fish. We need to sit down and go over everything she likes and don’t like.” I grab my bag and stalk to the door.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To the store so I can grab a few things that we will need.”

  I close the door behind me and walk towards the elevator. The doors open and as I step in and turn around, it’s in time to see Carter walking toward me. I press the button to keep the doors from closing until he’s inside.

 
We only make it two floors before he presses a button that stops the elevator.

  “I’m sorry,” he surprises me with an apology. “I’m new at this.”

  I let out a shaky breath and nod. “I know. This is a learning process for both of us.”

  “Let’s go to the store together. I need to see what kind of food you get so I can make sure it’s always in the cupboards.”

  “That’s just it, Carter. You have to calm down with all the spending. You can’t buy a year’s supply of stuff for a three year old. She’s a little person. She doesn’t need a hundred dresses. She’ll pick three and she’ll wear them until they tear from all the use. You’re wasting money.”

  He rubs over his jaw and it makes a rough sound from his day old beard. “Okay.”

  “I know this is new for you, but it’s new for us too. I didn’t grow up around money. Jamie and I have shared a room all our lives. Jamie wore my hand-me-downs. I wore second-hand clothes donated from the church.”

  When he grinds his teeth I quickly go on, “I’m not telling you this because I want to be pitied. It’s always been my life. I had good days and bad days, just like you. I’m only telling you so you know how different our lives are. I start to panic when you throw money around as if it’s nothing. I’ve learned to save, to use coupons, to be careful with money. You need to meet me in the middle.”

  “I didn’t know,” he whispers.

  “You never asked.”

  He nods. “This goes both ways, Della. I’ve never lived with a woman. It’s only been me and my dad. I’m going to do things wrong. I don’t know any of the rules when it comes to living with a woman.”

  I shrug and smile at him. “I was ten when my dad died. Jamie can hardly remember him. We’re pretty much in the same boat. We’re going to do stuff that will upset you. We’ll all just have to learn to get along.”

  “Can we start over?”

  “Yeah, let’s go get our daughter some food.”

  CHAPTER 14

  CARTER

  Shopping with Della is crazy on a whole new level. Every sweet thing I took, she just put back. She even spoke to me in her stern Mom voice. That’s some serious scary shit.

  When we get back home, Jamie is waiting for us with a jar in her arms. The words swear jar is written over the middle of it.

  “Alright, kids.” She holds the jar out to me. “You owe the jar thirty dollars for all the f-bombs and five dollars for the b-word.”

  “You’re fucking kidding me,” I say, not believing this shit.

  “Make that an even forty-five. Another ten for the f-bomb.”

  Della starts to laugh but Jamie pins her with the same look that makes her quickly swallow the laughter

  “Let me just place the bags on counter.” While I pay my fine, Della unpacks the bags.

  Daniele comes running from her room, yelling, “I’m made a poo-poo in the big toilet.”

  “Dammit, I forgot about her seat.”

  “That will be five dollars,” Jamie says, taping the jar.

  I try to open a cupboard but the thing is stuck. “What the hell?”

  “That’s another five dollars, and you have to remove the safety clip first.”

  I look at Jamie and take my wallet out again. I shove a hundred in the jar. “For the rest of the night. Now show me how to remove this thing.”

  Jamie unclips it quickly then hands it back to me. “Now you do it.”

  “Why?”

  “So Danny won’t open them and get hurt.”

  “Oh.” After my fourth try I get it right. When I turn around Della is already busy preparing the Mac n Cheese.

  “That’s my favorite,” Danny says as she’s struggling to get onto one of the stools.

  I go stand behind her and pick her up. Helping her to balance on the stool, I keep standing behind her so she doesn’t fall backwards. She leans back against me and looks up at me with a huge smile. “Love you, Daddy.”

  Her words slam my breath from me.

  I knew Dad loved me but he wasn’t one to say it. I can’t remember if I’ve ever heard those words in all my life. At least not directed at me.

  I press a kiss to Daniele’s head before I hand her to Jamie. I walk away before they can see what her words are doing to me. I’m just about to head up the stairs when I trip over something and slam the side of my head against the wall.

  “Fuck it!”

  Della is the first to come running. “What happened?”

  I look down at the weird contraption that’s blocking my way up the stairs.

  “What’s this? Have you turned the place into a death zone?”

  “It’s a safety door so Daniele doesn’t go up the stairs.” She looks at me, then darts forward. “You got hurt.”

  There’s concern in her voice as she reaches up and presses her cool fingers against my forehead.

  “Mommy, you have to make Daddy better,” Daniele says, her little face tight with concern.

  “Come,” Della says as he takes my hand and pulls me to the bathroom. She wets a towel and presses it gently to my forehead.

  When she’s done, Daniele says, “Kiss it better, too.”

  Della’s eyes dart from our daughter to me. She looks very nervous as she stands on her toes. She places her hands on my shoulders and pulls me a little forward. Her lips are soft as she presses a kiss to my forehead and I can’t help but smile. She still smells like crushed apples.

  When she’s done kissing it all better there’s a flush on her cheeks.

  “Yeah, Mom. You have to kiss it better,” I tease her.

  She scowls up at me and the words just come. “Careful, babe. Looking at me like that will get you in trouble.”

  She starts to laugh, obviously remembering the first night we met.

  Her smile, her scent, her flushed cheeks – damn, it still has a way of screwing with me. She’s still the only one I can see a future with.

  ***

  DELLA

  I look at my reflection and sigh miserably. It’s my first day at my dream job as cover designer, and I look like shit.

  I’m wearing the best clothes I have, but the black pants are faded and the white blouse is stained yellow with time. I’m wearing my hair down for the first time in months. I’ve even curled it a little. It hangs well past my breasts. I pick up a strand and look at the split ends. I have to cut it this weekend. I’ve also put on a little eye-shadow with mascara. This is as good as it’s going to get.

  I walk out of my room and go kiss Daniele goodbye. At least we have time before Jamie starts school. I’ll find a good daycare in the next few weeks.

  When I walk into the kitchen, I’m surprised to see Carter still here. He looks devastatingly handsome dressed in a royal blue suit.

  “Morning, Della,” he says and his eyes sweep over me. “You look beautiful.”

  “Morning,” I say, feeling very self-aware of the outfit. I hate that he’s seeing me in these rags. After all, he is my boss.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks.

  I force a smile to my lips. “I’m just nervous.”

  “Have some coffee before we go,” he offers.

  “We? You’re taking me to work?”

  That’s bad. I don’t want everyone thinking that I got the job because I know the boss. Even if it’s true.

  “We don’t even work on the same floor, Della. No one will know about our relationship.”

  I spit the coffee out. “Relationship?” When I look down it feels like the ground is turning into quicksand. I’ve spilled on my blouse. Dammit!

  “Yeah, we share a child,” he snaps. “I’ll wait while you go put on something else.”

  I grab some paper towels and start to dab at the coffee mark.

  “Just go put on something else,” he says again.

  “I have nothing else,” I snap as I toss the towel in the trash. “This is my best blouse.”

  “Let’s go -”

  “Don’t even go there,” I wa
rn him as I position my hair over the stain.

  He comes to stand in front of me and lifts my face so I’m forced to look at him.

  “Why did you check on me last night when I walked into the safety gate at the bottom of the stairs?”

  I shrug not sure where he’s heading with this. I force the words out. “’Cause I care,” I huff.

  The look on his face changes and it makes a nervous feeling explode in my stomach.

  “I tried to see this for what it is, the mother of my child moving in so our daughter can have both her parents. I keep telling myself that you’re just doing what’s right for Daniele.”

  He frames my face with both his hands and our eyes lock. Tension starts to crackle between us and there’s no denying that our attraction for each other is still very much alive.

  Placing my hand over his, I lean my face into his right hand. He brings his other hand to my hip, pulling me a little closer and it makes my heart beat wildly in my chest.

  We just look at each other, while the attraction between us hangs in the air.

  “I understand that you’re cautious and used to doing your own thing,” he whispers. “So much has changed and it will take time for the dust to settle. But, Della, I don’t just want to take care of our daughter. I still want to try with you. I want to take care of you. And Jamie.“

  I hear his words and I’d love nothing more than an instant happily ever after, but that’s not how life works.

  “We can’t just pick up where we left off, Carter. We were stupid. We got swept up in all the excitement of finally being finished with our studies. We have Daniele now. What if it doesn’t work out between us? What do we do then?”

  “That’s a chance I’m willing to take,” he says. “Look, I’m not saying we should jump into bed right away. We live together now. It’s not like you can date. I can’t bring someone over. We might as well try.”

  I pull away from him and frown. “I’m not going to be some consolation prize, Carter. If you want to screw someone then go ahead. All I ask is that you keep your women away from our daughter. As for me, I haven’t dated in four years, and I’m not about to start.”