In the Face of Adversity

by Peter Martin

  It came to a head the next Saturday morning, after a horrific Friday night when Alice, suffering with teething problems, had kept them awake for most of the night. Then Aaron woke in a restless state. Now, sitting at the breakfast table, with both children tucked up in bed and asleep, they enjoyed a quiet interlude.

  He’d made a plateful of toast and having poured two cups of tea, asked, ‘Tired?’

  ‘A bit,’ she yawned. ‘Who wouldn’t be after the night we’ve had?’

  ‘Too right, but Sarah, this isn’t working, is it?’ he said, staring her in the eye.

  ‘What are you talking about?’ she asked, taken aback.

  ‘I mean us having two kids, and both of us working. We’re finding it hard to deal with. I know Mrs Atkins is having the kids, but the house is always untidy, we can’t get any cleaning done, or go out anywhere. And we can’t have any time to ourselves. And apart from Mrs Atkins, we have no family to help. And I feel I’m on own at times, because you have to study at home too. Sooner or later something has to give, or we’ll both crack up.’

  With a furrowed brow and looking close to tears, Sarah said, ‘I know Aaron’s a problem. But in all fairness, he has been suffering from colic. One doctor said it may be reflux, which babies suffer with for longer. But it will end.’ She dried her eyes on her sleeve. ‘Then there’s Alice. She’s miserable because I haven’t got time for her.’

  ‘Yes, yes, I hear what you’re saying,’ he agreed, ‘but the root of the problem is me doing a full-time job and you studying at university. It’s almost impossible to bring up two young kids.’

  ‘So, what’s the answer?’

  He hesitated. From the expression on her face his suggestion would come as a bombshell. But while he wanted Sarah to achieve her ambitions in life, sadly there appeared no alternative.

  ‘Only one thing we can do,’ he frowned. ‘And that’s for you to leave university.’

  CHAPTER 16

  Sarah shook her head in disbelief.

  ‘I’m sorry to suggest it, I really am. I considered taking a year off work myself, but we can’t afford it. I know you’re such a talented writer, but there’s no other way around it right now. When the kids are older, you can resume your studies. And in the meantime, any spare time you have you could write. Who knows you may even,’ – Billy stopped mid-sentence, seeing the anger on Sarah’s face – ‘write a masterpiece.’

  ‘How dare you suggest that after all the work I’ve done over the past two years? It’ll be wasted. You condescending prig!’

  ‘Don’t be like that. Believe me, I’ve racked my brains to think of other options, but there aren’t any. The kids have to come first. It was a struggle with one child.’ He shrugged his shoulders, and added, ‘Now it’s virtually impossible.’

  ‘Go on, it’s written all over your bloody face,’ she screamed. ‘Say it’s my fault for having Aaron. Thanks a bunch for bringing that up.’

  ‘I never said anything about –’

  He couldn’t finish his sentence as she butted in. ‘If you were more attentive towards me, this might not have happened.’

  ‘All right, Sarah, that’s enough. No point in carrying on. If you can think of a better idea, let’s hear it.’

  She frowned, knowing there wasn’t any alternative. ‘When can I go back to uni? Sometime never, eh, Billy,’ she moaned. ‘Well, if I don’t get my degree, it’ll be your fault.’

  ‘No, Sarah, you can’t put that on me. You’re just looking for someone to blame.’ He didn’t like this any more than she did.

  She continued in the same vein. ‘So I’ll be stuck here with Alice and Aaron all day. That’ll be a lot of fun!’

  ‘It won’t be forever. You ought to want to be with them as much as you can. I’ve told you once they’re at nursery, you’ll be free to do other things. A job, or a writing course at home. I can help you with the cost towards it.’

  ‘That’ll never happen. All right, so it’s my own bloody fault, but that doesn’t make me feel any better.’

  In her present mood, he chose not to answer. She was twisting his words.

  She scowled, not realising how difficult this would be for him, having worked so hard to help her. And he questioned whether she’d have the motivation to pick up her studies at a later date.

  <><><>

  After quitting University Sarah’s mood dropped; although she said life was easier to cope with, she seemed listless.

  But gradually she got used to staying at home and appeared to enjoy the children. Billy, too, felt more content, accepting Aaron, and looking upon him as his own. One day when the lad was three, he got the idea of buying the lad a football kit and a ball, since he had liked kicking a ball about with his dad.

  ‘Hey, Aaron,’ he said when he came home from work, his surprise behind his back. ‘Have a little surprise for you, and for you too, Alice.’

  ‘What, Daddy?’

  ‘Close your eyes and I’ll show you,’ he said. ‘And you as well, Alice.’

  They did; and he placed the kit and ball on his lap and a Barbie doll beside Alice.

  ‘You can open your eyes now.’

  Alice opened hers first. ‘Oh, Daddy, thank you, a barbie doll.’

  Next it was Aaron’s turn. When he opened his eyes, he screamed with delight. ‘A football! Can we play outside, Daddy?’

  ‘What about the kit?’

  ‘Can I put it on?’

  ‘Yeah, sure.’

  He helped the lad change into the black and gold strip.

  ‘Come on, let’s go around the back and kick the ball. Why don’t you come too, Alice?

  She nodded.

  Aaron looked so sweet in his kit, but got carried away with kicking the ball, knocking it against a fence twice with a loud bang. But, to see his two kids so happy was, for him, a joy.

  <><><>

  Before long the kids were at nursery and school respectively. Sarah had more time, and though it crossed his mind to prompt her about Open University courses, it was a touchy subject and he thought better of it.

  Early into the school year, however, lost in marking English papers, he was brought back to the present by Sarah suddenly coming up behind him. She threw her arms around his chest.

  ‘Guess what?’ she asked.

  ‘Don’t know, surprise me.’

  ‘Got myself a job.’ She sounded pleased.

  ‘Really, good for you love!’ he said, trying to sound upbeat.

  ‘It’s at that new supermarket off the High Street. The hours are ten to three, so it’ll fit in with dropping off and picking up the kids. And it’s only ten minutes away,’ she explained enthusiastically

  ‘What will you be doing?’

  ‘Checkout operator. The money isn’t fantastic, but I’ll get more later on.’

  ‘Hope you like it.’ It was up to her how she filled her time, but in truth he was disappointed.

  Still smiling, she continued, ‘I start next Monday. It’ll be nice to have my own money for a change and not have to rely on you.’

  ‘Yes, but I earn enough for the both of us,’ he pointed out. ‘I’ll give you anything you want.’

  ‘That’s the problem,’ she snapped. ‘I want my own money to spend.’

  Her mood changed and to pacify her, he said, ‘As long as it makes you happy, love, but you could do other things with your time.’

  ‘I thought you wanted me to get a job. Anyway, from now on I’ll be able to pay my own way.’

  Sarah’s mind was made up, and she seemed overjoyed by the prospect of starting work. Billy had hoped she’d channel her energy into something more worthwhile but didn’t dare suggest it.

  ‘Okay, love, you win. I can see why and at least you’ll get a break from CBeebies and Play-Doh,’ he joked. ‘And it’s better than sitting around the house. So good luck to you.’ He stretched over and kissed her on the cheek.

  ‘Thanks for being so understanding. I wasn’t sure how you’d react, but I’m relieved you�
�re all right about it. You’re really the best husband anyone could ever wish for.’ She kissed him on the lips.

  Luckily, Sarah took the cashiering job in her stride and from the start seemed enthused by it. And other than a few minor changes to their lifestyle, everything worked out well.

  And when Sarah got her first pay cheque, she blew most of it within an hour on a mad spending spree for her and the children.

  Billy felt glad for her, she liked the job and her mood improved.

  They’d had their troubles and thankfully come through. And it came as no surprise when one night whilst he was marking, she put her arms around him in her usual wheedling way, saying, ‘Darling ... I’ve got a big favour to ask.’

  ‘Oh, yes, and what’s that?’

  ‘Joan, one of the girls I work with, has invited me to her twenty-first birthday party. I’m not that bothered, but it’s best to keep in with them – you never know when you might need a favour. Would you mind?’

  ‘No, no, of course not,’ he lied, remembering her last night out. ‘So, when?’

  ‘Next Friday. They’re all going straight from work, so I’ll take some clothes with me. Not sure when I’ll get back, because we’re off to the pub after work for a bite to eat and drink, and then on to a club.’

  He didn’t like the sound of this one bit but didn’t like to be a killjoy, so in the end, said, ‘Okay, love. Enjoy yourself – after all when did you last have a good night out?’

  ‘Can’t remember,’ she admitted. ‘Sure, it’s okay– I mean if it’s a problem I could always tell them I can’t come.’

  He shook his head, ‘No, not at all. And besides I’ll have the kids to myself for a change.’

  ‘All right, just this once,’ Sarah said guiltily.

  Back to the pretence of marking, Billy’s mind constantly drifted to her night out and his concentration was totally lost. In the end, he feigned tiredness and went to bed.

  The event was forgotten about until the day before when she came back from work laden down with a blue figure-hugging low-cut dress, a short jacket and pair of high-heeled shoes, which she’d purchased during her break.

  On the morning of the day, he said goodbye to Sarah telling her to enjoy herself. Reminding her to take her key, in case she was later than expected getting home, his stomach churned. This was only the second time she’d been out on her own since they’d married – and he well remembered what happened the first time.

  Mid-afternoon Billy collected the kids from nursery and felt elated at the sight of their cute, eager faces; how he wished he could do this more often. He even enjoyed preparing a meal for them at teatime. And afterwards came a visit to the cinema to see Disney’s The Lion King, which they loved. It seemed strange, he realised later, that he’d all but forgotten Sarah.

  And when they got home at just turned nine o’clock, both children were heavy-eyed and it was way past their bedtime.

  With the children tucked up in bed Billy started clearing up. When they’d gone out earlier he hadn’t washed up and the kids’ toys were strewn everywhere.

  Finally, sitting down in the quiet of the living room to enjoy a cup of cocoa, his thoughts returned to Sarah. As it was a Friday night, he’d planned to wait up for her, but by midnight having trouble keeping his eyes open, he went to bed.

  But with Sarah constantly on his mind, sleep evaded him. Aware that the clubs were open until after two o’clock in the morning he imagined the whole group of giggly women sauntering along, legless. He’d omitted to ask if the others were single or married.

  A short while later he was brought out of a fitful nap by a commotion taking place in the street. Rubbing his eyes, he got out of bed and tentatively peeked through the edge of the drawn curtains. And as he’d visualised earlier, a gang of about six young women were grouped together, each holding the other up. He watched Sarah break free of them, jacket over her arm showing the full depth of the front of the dress in all its glory, and amid giggles and shouts of ‘see you’, she staggered up the garden path giving one last wave.

  On hearing the key turn in the door, Billy quickly tiptoed away and got into bed. He lay listening to her dulcet tones downstairs. The landing light came on followed a few seconds later by a loud bump. ‘Damn’, he heard her shout, falling on to the stairs.

  He got up and went to the landing. ‘Hey, Sarah, you all right?’

  ‘Oh, hi, Billy. It’s these damn shoes, they’re not very easy to walk in,’ she said, taking them off.

  ‘Good time?’

  ‘Yeah, great. Just need the toilet before I go to bed.’

  ‘Okay, see you in a bit.’

  After a few minutes she came out of the bathroom and opened the door, allowing the yellow light to filter into the room.

  Scantily clad in bra and panties, Billy watched her through screwed up eyes as she undid her bra strap, allowing it to fall to the floor closely followed by her panties. She then bent down and pulled out a flimsy nightie from underneath her pillow, which she dragged over her head.

  When she got in beside him, he felt her soft body mould into his. What had started as anger and worry quickly changed into desire. She shivered, rubbing herself against him. As he turned over, her hand moved to his middle. He gasped with sheer joy.

  ‘Thought you were asleep.’

  ‘Well, you woke me.’

  ‘Did I indeed?’ she teased. ‘Or were you awake all the time, worrying over me?’

  She’d seen through him, but he didn’t care. As he kissed her, he noticed the strong aroma of alcohol on her breath. But he wanted her badly and it seemed she felt the same.

  Lying in each other’s arms afterwards, Billy joked, ‘You’ll have to go out more often if this is the result.’

  ‘Funny, you should say that ...’ she began.

  ‘You’re not serious.’

  ‘I am. There’s another birthday coming up soon – would you mind?’

  ‘Go if you like,’ he said, wishing this was the last of her nights’ out.

  ‘Billy, you’re a treasure.’ She kissed him.

  ‘To be honest, I’d rather have you to myself.’ He shrugged his shoulders. ‘But I’m not a control freak like a certain Mr Baker.’

  ‘Oh him,’ she replied as they both started to laugh. ‘You know, I hardly ever think about Dad these days.’

  ‘Tell you the truth, I try not to either. Anyway,’ he said, changing the subject. ‘How was it tonight?’

  ‘Great, hilarious as a matter of fact. Haven’t laughed so much in ages. Mind you, it’s wonderful to have you to come home to.’

  ‘That’s nice to hear.’

  ‘Well, you’ve just given me the best homecoming ever,’ she giggled.

  He was glad Sarah seemed happier. Hopefully she’d settle down now, as after she’d left university he’d feared their relationship would crumble. Thank God that hadn’t happened. Looking on the bright side, every time she went out, he had the children to himself.

  <><><>

  Three weeks later when Billy got home from work, Sarah was busily getting ready to go out. But this time one of her friends had offered to pick her up from home.

  Billy didn’t disapprove of Sarah’s plans; but seeing her dolled-up brought a feeling of acute jealously. And no amount of telling himself he’d enjoy being with the kids would quell the envy within him.

  Unfortunately, Billy had a bumpy ride as both the children were irritable with bad colds. And at bedtime they took an interminable time to go to sleep. Once he’d settled them down and cleared up downstairs it was after eleven o’clock. He stayed up for half an hour, but having drunk a warm drink and feeling exhausted, he went to bed.

  At the sound of his alarm whirring, his eyes sprang open. Light filtered in through the curtains, his first thoughts were of work. Then reality dawned: today was Saturday – thank goodness. He must have put the alarm clock on by mistake. With luck Sarah hadn’t woken, nor the two little monsters; he smiled, remembering the difficulty he�
�d had getting them to sleep. He swung his legs out of bed, put on his slippers and reached for his dressing-gown.

  But as he turned around, he saw her side of the bed hadn’t been slept in. Surely if she’d got up early and straightened it, it would have woken him. Filled with a sense of dread, he investigated.

  The bathroom was empty, and the kids were still fast asleep. Downstairs he checked the living room, expecting to see her on the sofa, then the kitchen and dining room. When he realised she hadn’t come home, his fear turned into anger. She’d stayed out all night and hadn’t even bothered to phone.

  He rushed upstairs to get his mobile which was charging on the bedside table. It displayed: ‘1 new message’. He pressed the button and read it: ‘Staying over at Jenny’s, hope you don’t mind. See you later.’ Sent at two-thirty am.

  A modicum of relief swept over him. She was safe and had tried to contact him. Perhaps it didn’t much matter if she stayed at a friend’s house. As long as it was only a friend.

  But as the morning wore on, having washed and dressed the children and prepared their breakfast, his thoughts were never far from his wife’s behaviour. Why would she sleep at a friend’s rather than return home? None of the girls lived more than a few miles away.

  Then, while the kids played in their rooms, Billy cleaned the house, pondering over what had become of his wife.

  By lunch time with still no sign of Sarah, Billy’s anger returned. She’d been out of the house now for twenty-four hours without a thought for anyone but herself.

  By the time she arrived home two hours later, Billy’s mood had reached fever-pitch. He’d given the children their lunch, got Aaron to sleep for his afternoon nap, and washed up.

  ‘Hallo, everybody. How are you guys? Missed me?’ she said, holding out her arms for Alice to run into.

  ‘Yes, Mummy, where have you been?’ Alice asked. ‘Aaron missed you too, he kept crying.’