He was fairly certain she blushed even though he couldn’t tell for sure in the dim light. Her eyelids lowered, hiding any emotion that might have been in her eyes.
“Thank you.” Although her response was soft, it reached Damian’s ears.
Damian thought about pursuing a conversation with her, but he was mentally exhausted from the afternoon’s counseling session. At the moment he simply felt thankful to be near Rachel, enjoying her presence—even if she never spoke a word.
Serena stood up and headed for the kitchen. When she returned she had a waiter in her wake, bearing a plate of hot food. The man set the plate down in front of Damian. His stomach rumbled again, and he quickly said a silent grace and began to eat.
As he ate, Damian caught Rachel looking at him several times. The uncertainty he’d seen earlier was evident again in her expression. He wondered what caused it.
“How was business at the store today?” he asked as he laid his silverware on the plate and leaned back.
“Very busy. I didn’t want to leave, but Mari and Sue forced me to.”
“I, for one, am very glad they did. You look so nice all dressed up.” Damian gestured toward himself. “Unfortunately, I look decidedly dull beside you. I didn’t get a chance to primp before coming.”
A small smile teased the corners of Rachel’s mouth but didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’m sure what you had to do was more important than dressing up for a Christmas party.”
Damian nodded. “Yes, you’re right. It was. But still, how can I hope to impress you if I don’t even have time to clean up?”
Sadness and uncertainty flashed in her eyes again. Damian leaned toward her to ask what was wrong, but the sound of someone tapping a microphone interrupted him.
“I think this thing is on,” a voice boomed over the speakers.
Conversation at the tables faded as attention turned to the stage. For the next hour they were entertained through music and sharing. Damian slowly began to unwind from the tensions of the day. The only thing that would have made the evening perfect would have been if he could have reached over and held Rachel’s hand. And see her look at him with love in her eyes instead of wariness.
“I know we have several visitors here tonight,” the emcee announced as the program wound down. “If you’re here for the first time, please stand.”
There was a round of applause as many people throughout the fellowship hall stood.
“Be sure and take a moment to greet our visitors before the end of the evening. Of course, we’re always thrilled when old friends come back to visit. And this year it’s great to have our very own celebrity back among us.”
Damian’s stomach clenched, and the roast beef he’d eaten earlier sat like a rock in his gut. Suddenly he understood the uncertainty in Rachel’s expression.
“Nicki Johansson, please stand.”
Damian watched as, across the room, a slender blonde stood and waved. His ex-fiancée had come home.
*****
Rachel couldn’t see the expression on Damian’s face since he faced away from her, but there was no mistaking the direction of his gaze. Or the sudden straightening of his spine.
She glanced at Annie but there was no concern on her face. Either Annie didn’t know who Nikki Johansson was, or she didn’t care. Rachel wished she didn’t care. She really didn’t have a right to care, but deep down, she did care. Her plan had been to tell Damian that they could be nothing more than friends. Now it looked as if she wouldn’t have to tell him anything.
Though she kept a smile on her face, the evening held no appeal for Rachel. Damian no longer tossed flirting glances her way. His conversation with the others at the table was brief, and the relaxed mood he’d been in earlier seemed to have vanished.
The evening couldn’t end soon enough for Rachel.
As soon as the final prayer was said, several people came to the table to talk with Damian. He stood with his back to her, so Rachel was able to slip away to the foyer.
“Leaving already?” a voice asked as she slipped her coat on.
Rachel swung around to see Damian standing a few feet away from her, hands in his pockets. “Yes, it’s been a lovely evening, but I’m pretty tired. It was a long day at work.”
Damian didn’t say anything at first, just nodded, his gaze serious. “Wait here while I get my coat. I’ll walk you out to your car.”
“There’s no need—“
“Please, wait. I’ll be right back.” Damian turned and headed toward his office before she could continue her objection.
As she stood buttoning her coat, Rachel debated escaping while he was gone, but since he knew where she lived he just might show up on her doorstep. Other people joined her at the coat rack. Their laughter and smiles were in sharp contrast to the melancholy ache that had taken hold of her heart. Moving out of the way of the happily chatting groups, Rachel went to stand next to the door. She gazed through one of the two long glass windows that flanked the heavy wooden doors at the entrance of the church.
In the dim glow of the streetlights she could see more snow falling. It drifted lazily in the air until a gust of wind came along to send it dancing. Every time she turned around this winter, it seemed to be snowing.
Her breath fogged up the glass, and she lifted a gloved hand to rub it clear again. A cold gust of air rushed in as someone pushed open the doors and a group of people left the church. Rachel turned from the window and shoved her hands deep into her coat pockets, gazing in the direction Damian had gone.
Several minutes passed with no sign of him. More people had come for their coats and then ventured out into the cold. Rachel looked at the large clock over the doors leading into the sanctuary. He’d been gone about five minutes already. She’d give him another two minutes before she left.
Rachel heard her name and glanced around to see Serena hurrying towards her.
“Are you leaving already?”
Rachel nodded. “I’m ready to hit the sack. I’m beat.”
“Me, too, but I still have to supervise the clean-up.”
“Do you need help? I hate to leave you with everything.”
Serena shook her head. “Nope, I’ve got a few strong men helping out with the tables, and the caterers are taking care of all the dishes.” She peered more closely at Rachel. “I hope you’re not upset about Nikki showing up.”
“It’s not a big surprise since her family is still here.”
“I know, but it still can’t be easy. I saw her snag Damian a few minutes ago. Their break-up was not very good, so they probably need to talk.”
As the reason for Damian’s delay became clear, Rachel knew she had to get out of the church, had to get away before Damian returned. “Yes, I’m sure they do.”
“Look, I’ve got to get back. Can’t leave the clean-up crew unsupervised for too long.” Serena grinned. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the practice, okay?”
Rachel nodded, although she wasn’t sure she’d be showing up for the practice the next evening. Before Serena had taken even a couple of steps away from her, Rachel pushed open the door and escaped into the night. Without a backward glance, she hurried across the snowy parking lot to her car. It took her two tries to get her key into the lock, but finally she got the door open and slid behind the wheel.
Usually she let the car warm up a bit, but her desire to escape before Damian came back was more pressing. As she exited the parking lot, she chanced a quick glance in her rear-view mirror at the doors of the church, but they remained tightly closed.
Damian wasn’t chasing after her on this night.
Chapter Eight
Rachel made sure she arrived on time to the practice the next night. One grand, attention-grabbing entrance was enough.
Puddles lay on the parking lot, forcing Rachel to take a zigzag path to avoid them on her way to the church. The weather had warmed up a bit over the past couple of days, and most of the snow had melted. It was still nippy, but at least it wasn�
�t bone-chillingly cold.
All day Rachel had debated whether she would come to the practice or not. After she’d left last night without waiting for Damian, she wasn’t too keen on seeing him again so soon. But her commitment to the group won out.
A cool rush of air accompanied Rachel as she stepped into the church. She spotted Serena pinning something to the big bulletin board in the foyer.
Her friend turned, spotted her, and broke into a welcoming smile. “Hi, Rachel. I wondered if you’d make it tonight.”
“I promised I would, so here I am.” Rachel shrugged out of her jacket, slipped it onto a hanger, and hung it on the coat rack.
“Yeah, you did.” Serena crossed her arms, a curious expression on her face. “I just never know what you might do when Damian is involved.”
“I’m not here for Damian.” Rachel frowned. “Is that what everyone thinks?”
Serena laughed. “No, they don’t. I’m just jerking your chain. Well, Annie might think you are, but that’s her problem, not yours. And even if you were, she wouldn’t have a righteous leg to stand on since she’s here for Damian herself.”
“Let’s not talk about her,” Rachel suggested. Or his ex-fiancée.
“Good idea.” Serena fell into step beside her as she walked down the hallway. “Damian was looking for you last night. Said he’d asked you to wait for him. Did you leave because I mentioned he was talking with Nikki?”
“I’d already been waiting for him for almost ten minutes when you told me what had held him up. I figured he might be a bit longer and really didn’t want to wait.”
Serena stopped walking. When Rachel turned to look at her, her friend’s gaze was frankly assessing. “And it had nothing to do with who he was talking to?”
“Maybe a little,” Rachel admitted with a shrug. “They have a history. It’s only natural they’d want to spend some time together.”
“Damian was looking for you not even five minutes after we talked.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I would have hung around if I had known he’d be back that quickly.” Rachel began walking, not waiting to see if Serena followed her. A hand on her arm stopped her once again.
“Listen, I don’t mean to butt in where I shouldn’t, but don’t jump to conclusions about anything. Talk with Damian before assuming you have everything figured out.”
Rachel stared at Serena and saw the earnestness in her friend’s expression. She nodded.
“Good,” Serena announced, releasing Rachel’s arm.
“Are we still on for our Christmas plans?” Rachel asked, eager for a change of subject as they resumed their walk down the hall.
“Definitely.”
“Great! I really wasn’t looking forward to spending Christmas alone this year. And you’re okay with Mari joining us? She doesn’t have family here either.”
“I think it will be great with just the three of us.”
“I’m already planning the food for Christmas Eve. And I’m glad you’re going to spend the night. I don’t think it would be very fun to wake up Christmas morning to an empty house.” Rachel grinned with delight at the idea of having the two other women with her for Christmas.
“Welcome, ladies.” Damian greeted them as they walked into the fellowship hall. He looked much too attractive in a white long-sleeved shirt, tucked into a pair of blue jeans. “Glad you both made it.”
“And on time, too,” Rachel said, trying to keep her tone light.
She hoped he couldn’t see past her friendly greeting to the pain in her heart. Rachel didn’t want him to know how much Nikki’s return bothered her. And confused her. Shouldn’t she be glad someone else was there to take Damian’s attention? Either Nikki or Annie could give him what he wanted most, and what she couldn’t. A family.
“I wasn’t going to mention that.” Damian’s dimples made a quick appearance when he grinned. “But since you did…it’s great you’re on time, too.”
A couple more people came into the room, and Damian turned to greet them. Rachel and Serena walked towards the cluster of chairs and, after grabbing a copy of the music, sat down.
The practice didn’t last long since they were all familiar with the songs. Damian moved the group quickly through each carol and ended their time with prayer.
Rachel and Serena stayed behind to help stack the chairs and collect the song-sheets. Damian’s phone rang just as they finished. Not wanting to interrupt his call, Rachel left the room with Serena and went to get her jacket.
“See you tomorrow, Rachel,” Serena said as she headed for her office.
“Bye.” Rachel leaned against the heavy front door and used her weight to push it open. She had just stepped out when she heard Damian call her name. She paused, nervous about being alone with him, not wanting to hear what he might have to say.
Rachel moved back inside the church and let the door shut with a thud. “What’s up?”
“My mom wanted to know if you could join us for Christmas,” Damian said.
“Oh, that sounds wonderful but I’ll have to pass,” Rachel said regretfully. “Tell your mom thanks.”
Damian’s brow furrowed. “Do you have some place to spend Christmas? I don’t want you to be alone.”
His concern tugged at her heart. “Actually, Serena and Mari are coming over Christmas Eve, and they’re spending the night. We’re going to make Christmas dinner together.”
“Why don’t the three of you come over for dinner at Mom’s? I know she’d love to have a few more women there since she’s the sole female in the house.”
Rachel shook her head, wishing she could accept his invitation, but knowing it was best she didn’t. “I’m sorry. I’m sure it would be have been a lot of fun, but we kind of had these plans already made. Serena even bought the turkey. Give your mom my regrets.”
“I will.” Damian nodded toward the door. “Were you on your way home?”
Rachel nodded.
“Let me walk you to your car,” Damian said.
“You don’t need to do that,” Rachel protested. “Besides, you don’t have your jacket.”
“I’ll endure a little cold for the privilege of spending a few moments in your company,” Damian said with a bow. “I wanted to talk to you about last night.”
A knot formed in Rachel’s stomach. “Sorry I didn’t wait longer. I was beat, and then Serena mentioned you were talking with…someone.”
“Nikki,” Damian said, his expression serious. “Serena told you I was talking with Nikki.”
Rachel hesitated. Would it make her look jealous if she admitted it was true? “Yes, she mentioned it was Nikki.”
“And you jumped to conclusions.” Rachel heard a thread of frustration in Damian’s tone.
“The conclusion I jumped to was that an old friend was back in town, and you probably had some catching up to do.” That was mostly true, Rachel told herself.
Damian gave her a peculiar look, one that seemed to contain measures of disappointment and pain. Had she caused that, or had his conversation with Nikki? Finally he nodded. “Yes, we had a bit of catching up to do. She wanted to know if I was involved with anyone.”
“It was probably good you could tell her you weren’t,” Rachel said.
Damian’s expression tightened, and Rachel saw the muscles of his jaw clench. “I’ll walk you to your car now,” he said, his words clipped and tense.
He opened the door for her. Rachel got a whiff of his cologne as she walked passed him. She loved the scent and would always associate it with him.
They walked in silence to her car. Damian waited while she unlocked her door and got in. Rachel struggled for words to ease the tense situation but found none.
“See you tomorrow,” Damian said, then closed her door.
Since the night was mild, Rachel didn’t let the car warm up before she pulled out of her parking spot. As she looked in her rearview mirror, Rachel saw Damian standing rigidly in the dim light of the parking lot. She wanted to cry.
In an effort to escape the emotions battering her, Rachel turned her thoughts to Mari. She hoped Mari and Jace were enjoying their evening. Jace had showed up at the store shortly before six to pick Mari up for the college and career Christmas party at a nearby bowling alley. Mari hadn’t wanted to go and had protested quite strongly, but Rachel and Jace had finally convinced her she should.
Rachel was glad to see Mari making friends, especially in the church, since she was new in town. And Rachel knew it was good that she, too, was beginning to reach out again. She’d never been a highly social person, but lately Rachel longed for the close friendships others seemed to share. It looked as if Serena and Mari were more than willing to fill those roles in her life.
And then there was Damian. Try as she might, Rachel couldn’t keep him from her thoughts. An intense loss filled her heart, leaving her confused and hurting. Hadn’t she wanted Damian to turn his attention to someone else? No, Rachel admitted, although she knew she couldn’t be with him, she hadn’t wanted him to be with another woman either. She felt instant remorse for her terribly selfish thoughts.
It was so hard to think about life without him. Even though they’d not officially dated, a relationship of sorts had developed over the years they’d known each other. One she was loath to give up, although she would never admit that to Damian. But tonight there seemed to be a finality to how they had parted.
*****
The next night Rachel arrived early at the church, ready for the carol sing at the seniors’ complex. She had dressed carefully for the evening, wanting to look nice for their performance.
But not for Damian, she told herself.
She’d chosen a long straight skirt of deep green with a white silk blouse. The blouse had long, loose sleeves banded around her wrists and a peasant style neckline. A black mesh choker encircled her neck, and she wore small diamond earrings. Her hair was pulled back into a simple ponytail, held in place by a red and green plaid ribbon. After checking to make sure it wasn’t going to snow, she’d pulled on a pair of ankle boots that had high pointed heels and laced up the front.
Waiting For Rachel: A Christian Romance (Those Karlsson Boys) Page 9