by Sable Hunter
Once the milk was ready, she stirred in some cocoa mix someone had helpfully left in view on the cabinet. Sipping as she walked, Desiree went out on the porch. Country sounds she hadn’t heard in ages met her ears. An owl hooted, frogs croaked, and what sounded like a cricket chirped. She thought it should’ve been too cool for crickets, but this was the first really cold spell of the year for this area. Hugging herself, she took another sip of the chocolate. Raising her head, she gazed up at the sky, then gasped as a falling star streaked across the dark expanse. Her heart leapt and before she could convince herself to not be childish, she whispered: “I wish I had someone to hold me at night, someone to love and watch over me.”
A few hundred yards away, Tanner stood on his porch and sipped coffee. He’d come outside to unwind and noticed the lights twinkling through the trees. His paying guest had arrived. All he knew was that it was a woman, he hadn’t asked any other questions about her identity. After all, it didn’t matter. He’s made sure everything was warm and ready for her. Not only had he carried the wood inside for a fire, he’d turned on the central heat and lit the hot water heater.
Placing his hand on the post beside the front steps, he crossed one booted foot over the other and took another drink of coffee. It was so quiet here he could hear his own heart beating. Every once in a while the howl of a coyote or the barking of a dog could be heard in the distance. Other than that, all he could hear was the occasional buzzing of an insect. He was hoping they’d have a good cold spell to kill off some of the mosquito eggs down at the pond.
A deep sense of loneliness came over him. He’d lived alone since leaving Tebow a few years back, he ought to be used to it by now. Both Jacob and Bowie Travis had invited him for Christmas, but he’d turned them down. The holidays were for family and he didn’t want to horn in. Letting out a long breath, he looked up at the night sky just in time to see a meteor streak across the blackness. Smiling, he remembered what he used to do when he was a kid after seeing a shooting star. Keeping his voice low, he poured out his heart. There was no one but God to hear him, and he didn’t know if his request would get any higher than the roof of the porch – but what the hell. “I wish I had someone to hold at night. Send someone I can love and take care of. I’m tired of being alone.”
High, high, above them, farther than even the fastest rocket ship could travel…someone was listening. After all, the season of miracles was upon them. The grantor of wishes and prayers smiled. This lonely man and woman didn’t know it, but fate had already been set into motion.
* * *
Shortly after midnight, Tanner gave up on sleep and decided to take a walk. He knew why he was uptight. He was still questioning if he’d done everything in his power to save the small Watkins boy. The parents were understandably devastated, both thought the small child had been with the other. When they’d called for help, Tanner hadn’t been the only one who came. He’d just been the one with the most experience. Teams of volunteers lent their aid and even two dogs were brought in to trace the toddler’s scent. Nothing had been found. It had been several days afterward that the little tyke’s body had been found some ten miles away. Not a mark on him. The autopsy confirmed he’d been smothered, but what had actually happened to him no one knew.
Tonight he’d pulled on his clothes quickly, tugging on a fleece lined jacket. The temperature was teasing the high forties, but a cold front would arrive the next day. There were even some reports it might snow. He’d only gone a few yards from the porch when he heard it…
A woman was crying.
The sound was coming from the guest cabin. Hell! Running, Tanner took off toward the sound. Even as he sprinted through the dark, he couldn’t help but remember another time when he did his best to come to the aid of a woman in distress. Tanner couldn’t imagine the situation being similar.
No matter, he had to find out. This was his property and his responsibility. The closer he got, the more confused he became. The noise was coming from outside the cabin. He couldn’t see very well, but he raced up the steps and was shocked to see a woman lying on the porch in the cold. What was she doing out here? She was in the chaise lounge, covered over with a couple of quilts. He couldn’t understand what was wrong. Writhing, she tossed her head back and forth. She appeared to be asleep and dreaming.
Drawing nearer, he could make out her form and her long flowing hair. She still whimpered, her voice sounding desperate and scared. “No, please, no.” Tanner knew his eyes and ears were probably playing tricks on him. This woman looked like… He shook his head and bent to touch her shoulder. “Ma’am. Miss. Are you all right?”
Deep in her dream, Desiree was reliving the attack by her stalker. She was cringing, waiting for the blow to fall when the hand landed on her shoulder. Springing upright in terror, she screamed as loudly as she could. In the dark, a man stood over her who looked impossibly big. “Help! No! No!”
Tanner lost the ability to breathe. This was impossible. “Desiree?” he whispered.
She didn’t hear him. Desiree wasn’t thinking – she was reacting. Jumping up, she drew back her hand, slapping the man’s face as hard as she could. “Get out! Get away from me! Leave!” she yelled at the top of her voice.
Tanner didn’t know what to do. He was struck dumb. “I’m not going to hurt you. I wouldn’t hurt you for anything. I just heard you scream and came to help.”
“Leave! Please!”
She was sobbing so loudly; the words were almost incoherent. Tanner was afraid she was going to hurt herself. This wasn’t normal, something was wrong. He held out a hand, but she sprang back from it like it was a snake.
“All right. I’ll leave. I’ll leave. I’ll send Mrs. Foster over to check on you. I didn’t mean to startle you, I just heard you screaming.”
Since she was still crying her heart out, Tanner left. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he woke up Mrs. Foster who promised she’d come right on down.
Tanner returned to his cabin in a daze.
Desiree Holt was here.
At Lost Pines.
She was his guest. He couldn’t blame her for not recognizing him. He’d just been a gangly teenager the last time they’d seen one another. Still… her abject inconsolable terror bothered him more than he could say. Tanner didn’t sleep for the longest time. Instead, he spent his time watching the lights, seeing Mrs. Foster arrive, then an hour later, he watched her leave. Tanner had to fight with himself to keep from going back over to see about her. Now that he knew Desiree was near, it felt like an invisible string was pulling him toward her.
“Hell,” he muttered. As protective and possessive as he felt, his feelings meant nothing. Tonight, he’d been the one to scare her. She would’ve lashed out at anyone, but it hurt that she’d lashed out at him. Desiree didn’t want to see him. She wouldn’t want him standing guard.
She’d proved that when she refused to see him all of those years ago.
* * *
Desiree had never felt more foolish. She’d attacked a poor man, almost in her sleep. All she could remember was waking when he touched her. There was no doubt she’d been dreaming. Sometimes the drugs she took to sleep fueled her nightmares. Tonight she’d taken a Xanax, an Advil PM, a Trazadone and chewed a gummi melatonin. The combination of prescription and over-the-counter drugs had been approved by her doctor, but she also knew they knocked her out to the point she couldn’t be trusted to act rationally if startled from sleep.
Desiree was totally embarrassed. Especially since she’d asked Mrs. Foster the name of the man who’d come to see about her and was told he was the owner, Tanner Barron. She owed her Good Samaritan an apology.
Making her way to the kitchen window, Desiree gazed in the direction she’d seen the lights the night before. From this distance, she couldn’t see much of the house, just a glimpse or two through the branches. What could she do to apologize? The only way it could be done was face to face and she didn’t want to go empty handed. A bright idea made her sm
ile. What if she made some Christmas cookies? She really had no plans to do anything to mark the holiday. Baking something festive would make her feel a little less like Scrooge.
Over the next couple of hours, Desiree hummed as she worked. As long as the sun was shining, she could relax and feel calm. When all of her baking was done, she put back six of the jumbo chocolate chip cookies for herself and placed the others in a tin she found in the cabinet for her neighbor. As relaxing as the task had been, what she needed now was to get out of the house for a while. Even though spring was months away, she yearned for longer, brighter days. No matter the weather or the temperature, outside was preferable over the inside. Grabbing her jacket, she locked the door behind her and set out in the bright winter sunlight to deliver her peace offering.
To her surprise, she found there was a path between the two dwellings. As she traversed the narrow trail, admiring the view, Desiree rehearsed what she was going to say. She needed to apologize for attacking him, but if she wasn’t careful, her explanation would just add to the humiliation. Knowing she always had to weigh her words, she decided the less she revealed the better. Anything she might confide could end up in tomorrow’s newspaper.
Slowing her walk to a standstill, Desiree almost turned back. Almost. What stopped her was the sound of an axe hitting wood. She took a step or two closer and what she saw next caused her breath to hitch in her throat. The man from last night was chopping wood – shirtless. “Good Golly, Miss Dolly,” she whispered. He was absolutely gorgeous. He had a beautiful golden tan and the muscles rippling beneath his skin were mesmerizing. The only mar on his flesh was a scar that snaked down his side. The faded blemish only made the rest of him seem that much more perfect. Desiree felt a tingle of desire in places she hadn’t felt tingle in a long time.
Now, this was a man. She hadn’t got a really good look at him the night before, she’d been too frenzied in her half-awake/traumatized state. For a second or two, she just stood there, admiring him – all six-foot something, wide shoulders, eight pack abs and a face that any Hollywood heartthrob would envy.
This was not the type of man one chased away from one’s bed.
Which was exactly what she’d done. Not that she was normal – Lord, she could just imagine trying to explain her current malady to a would-be lover.
While she was trying to gather courage to go up to him… Tanner was working up a sweat. He was trying to tire himself out enough so he’d sleep the night away instead of pining for his dream woman - - who, even now, was staying on his property, in one of his houses.
“Hell!”
Every time he got the urge to go visit her again, he’d remember how she reacted to his presence. Her desperation still confused him. Tanner hadn’t called to check, but it wouldn’t surprise him if she’d packed up and left. As he paused to catch his breath, he heard leaves crunching. Glancing to the side, Tanner stiffened with surprise. Like a vision, she was coming toward him as if he’d conjured her with his very thoughts. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
Great, he was tongue-tied.
Desiree tried to read his expression. He didn’t look angry. His expression could best be described – as blank. She couldn’t tell if he was okay with her impromptu visit or not. “Hey!” she ventured softly, lifting the container of cookies. “I’ve come bearing gifts. Do you have a few moments to hear my apology for assaulting you last night?”
Tanner cleared his throat. This was unexpected. It was so far out of his realm of expectations that his heart stuttered and his cock hardened. After mentally kicking himself in the rear, he took a step forward. He was a grown-ass man, way too old to be having a ‘cat got your tongue moment’. “Uh, yeah, sure, of course.”
Time seemed to roll back as she came toward him smiling. Lord Have Mercy! The woman was so beautiful. Even though years had passed, she hadn’t aged a day. She was still perfect in every way he could see.
And so out of his league, he couldn’t even see the ball park from where he was standing.
The woman was a fuckin’ superstar…and he was as common as a pebble on the beach. Tanner’s mind was whirling at breakneck speed as he stared at her. As if watching his life pass before him, he recalled the first time he’d seen her at the soup kitchen, then every performance of hers he’d managed to sneak into. Memories of the night he’d fought off her attackers, the words of the song she’d written about him – and the night he’d finally answered her summons only to be left standing out in the cold – all of these came to mind. And lastly, how she’d turned on him the night before like a wounded wildcat, when all he’d been trying to do was help. All of these images flashed through his brain. Would she recognize him?
“About last night, you woke me from a nightmare.” Desiree struggled to find the right words. “I’m so sorry if I hurt you. Mrs. Foster said you were as good as gold. She said you heard me yell in my sleep and just came to see if I was all right.” He didn’t bolt, so she bravely took a few more steps forward.
“That’s right. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Tanner didn’t know what else to say. When she held the tin out to him, he took it. “Thank you.”
“No thanks necessary, it’s just cookies, not enough incentive for you to ignore me acting like a crazy woman.”
Tanner stood there awkwardly before he finally remembered his manners. “Ah, would you like to join me for a cup of coffee? We could sample your culinary skills.”
Desiree hadn’t planned on being there for more than a minute…but there was something about this man. “Okay, yes, I can spare a few minutes.” It wasn’t like she had anywhere else to be. “I’d like that.”
Beckoning for her to go before him, Tanner bit the inside of his jaw to ensure he was really awake. “After you.” He couldn’t help but admire her backside as she walked in front of him. What she did to a pair of soft blue jeans should be illegal.
Once they were inside, he pulled out a chair, seating Desiree at his round oak kitchen table. Once he’d poured their coffee, Tanner joined her, sitting across from her so they could talk easily. “What brings you to Lost Pines? I wouldn’t exactly call my little place a celebrity destination.”
Desiree tried to read his tone. She wouldn’t blame him if he were still a bit put-off by her. “I’m not interested in being a celebrity right now. I’m originally from Austin. I wanted to come home. I needed some peace and quiet.”
Wow. When she explained to him where she was from, he knew for sure she had no clue to who he was.
Oh, well. Maybe it was better she didn’t. “Well, you’ve come to the right place. You sure won’t run into a crowd around this place.”
She gave him a faint smile as she brought the coffee cup up to her mouth.
Something was bothering Tanner and he couldn’t have stopped the flow of words if he’d tried. “You don’t have to tell me, but what were you doing sleeping outside as cool as it is?”
Desiree hesitated. For some reason she wanted to open up, but it probably wasn’t wise. So, she said what she could in the vaguest way possible. “Sometimes I have a bit of anxiety. The fresh air helps.”
Tanner didn’t get it. “Well, this isn’t the best weather for camping out. You’d do better just to crack a window if you need some air.”
She gave him another small smile. “I understand.”
He got her message. It was none of his business and she’d do whatever she wanted to.
So be it. So would he.
“These are good.” Tanner waved a half-eaten cookie in the air. “You’re a great cook.”
Desiree was surprised he presumed she baked. Most folks didn’t think she knew what a frying pan was good for. “Thank you. Working in the kitchen relaxes me.”
There was many things Tanner wanted to say, but he settled for general comments and questions. “You have a lovely voice.”
“Thank you very much.” She actually blushed, which delighted Tanner.
“Do you have Christmas plans while you’
re in Texas?”
He noticed she looked a bit sad. “No, I’m going to have a turkey sandwich and a cookie and just be glad I’m alive.”
He wondered about her comment, but he didn’t know how to broach the subject. She probably didn’t mean anything more by what she said than someone just enjoying life – and the woman certainly had a lot to celebrate. “I don’t have any plans either.” Tanner didn’t elaborate. She wouldn’t be interested in his situation.
Desiree could sense he was holding something back. She kept staring at his face. He had kind eyes. The scruff of a beard he sported made her want to frame his face with her hands just to enjoy the texture. Whoa. Where had that come from?
Her momentary impulse to touch him brought her to her feet. “Well, thank you for your hospitality. I just wanted to apologize for my actions by bringing you the cookies.” She picked up her coffee cup and put it in his sink. “I guess I’ll be going.”
Tanner felt like he was dreaming, none of this seemed real. He stood with her. “Not a problem, I hated that I frightened you. I didn’t mean to.” Picking up another cookie, he took a bite. “I do appreciate the cookies though.”
“You’re welcome.” Desiree rubbed her arms to get warm. “Have a Merry Christmas if I don’t see you before then.”
“I’m sure we’ll run into each other. After all, we’re neighbors.” He had to clench his hands into fists to keep from reaching for her. Despite her ignoring his note, Tanner found he was more drawn to her than he’d ever been to any other woman. The magnetic attraction had very little to do with her career or her talent, it was simply a man’s response to a woman he desired. “You be careful tonight. I’ll worry now that I know you might not be safely locked inside.”
“I’ll try to stay indoors,” she said and meant it. As Desiree knew well, she always started out her nights with good intentions. Sometimes the prescription drugs and herbs she took worked and she could go to sleep for a couple of hours, other times they didn’t and she felt if she didn’t get outside she wouldn’t be able to breathe. Every night Desiree prayed she could get a handle on this problem and be normal again.