Spirit of the Sea

by Keith Walter

  Charles tilted his head realizing that the shadows and shaped were the waves high above them. It was as if they were below the lake bed looking up through the sand. Above he could see the remnants of her ship form. Only the back third was still in one piece, with large chunks of hull scattered across the sandy dunes. His eyes were drawn to the thick golden chain hanging from Grace. He traced it through the water to a giant anchor. Lo and behold, he found himself, what was left of him being crushed under that gold anchor. “So can I,” he replied in shock.

  “Are we…?” Grace let the question hang in the air.

  Charles reached one hand up in the air. He could see a precise hole in his chest above. Magic flickered in the wound but didn’t respond. “I don’t think so,” he replied. “But close.”

  “We are between,” Grace declared.

  “Here,” Charles suddenly called. He dropped down to one knee and placed his interlaced hands on the floor.

  “What?” she asked quizzically.

  “I’m going to give you a boost,” he declared. “Maybe we can still get back.”

  “We are in the void between life and death,” Grace replied, amused. “I doubt our physical location has any meaning here.” To prove her point, she grasped him by the shoulders and lifted him fully off the ground. She tried to throw upward, only to find her arms slow the higher they reached. “You don’t seem to weigh anything, but I cannot seem to throw you.”

  Charles pulled himself from her grasp, taking a quick step back. “Well, I suppose it was worth a try.” Moving back in front of her, he wrapped her up in a hug. “I guess I should be glad. A few more moments with you is more than I deserve.”

  Grace took a deep breath. “You still underestimate yourself. But I am thankful, as well.” She let out a shuddering sigh. “I want to believe my mother loves me, in her way. It’s not the love I wished, though.” She leaned back to look into his eyes. “You gave me that. Even at the end, I am thankful to have found it.”

  “I wish…I wish I could have changed things,” Charles whispered back. “If I was just a little stronger. If I just had more time, maybe I could have—”

  Grace’s hand went to his lips. “You did all that you could. It doesn’t matter now.”

  Charles let the gravity of the words sink in. His life had always been about getting stronger or hiding better. It was never about what was happening in the moment, always stuck on some future ideal. It wasn’t until Grace had lost her heart that he was forced to live in the moment for once. “You are far too good for me, Grace Windrunner.”

  “I don’t think that’s fair,” Grace replied in a somber voice. “But love doesn’t care about such things. I think it is far deeper than that.”

  Charles dropped his eyes, opening and closing his mouth once before answering, “Of course.”

  Light flickered across the two, and a roar of thunder echoed in the distance. Charles pointed up at his broken body in the water, just as a bubble escaped those bruised lips. The bubble didn’t rush to the surface. Instead, it hung on his lips, forming itself into a sphere. It took several seconds, but the bubble finally began to rise slowly. “Time is different here, but it’s not stopped.”

  “Do you think the others got away?” Grace whispered, almost ignoring his observation.

  “I hope so,” Charles replied seriously. “I have faith in the captain. But then, it’s hard to say what any of us can do without you.”

  “They’ve never needed me,” Grace added sadly. “I’ve always been a disappointment—to my mother, my old crew, and now our friends. I couldn’t protect them.” She turned her face to the man ahead. “I couldn’t save you.”

  Charles shook his head with a sigh. “Your mother must have done a heck of a job on you.”

  “What?” she asked.

  “You’re their hero,” Charles replied. “You’re the noble who took them in, who kept them safe, tended their wounds, and fed their starving bellies.” He smiled as he pinched the ridge between his eyes. “None of us would have gotten off the dock in the first place without you.” He lifted his pointer finger. “I remember you taking quite the hit before you were free. Had you not been…you, that would have been the end of our friends.”

  Grace crossed her arms over her chest, forced to accept that much truth. “I had power, I don’t deny that. But I’m not… I’m not a strong person like you, or the captain, or Serin, or Leslie.”

  “Poppycock!” Charles cried, pleased when such a silly word caused Grace to smile unconsciously. “Nobody has been half as brave as you, half as determined. When the captain ordered you to leave the rest of us behind, was it a weak person who went ahead and disobeyed?”

  “How did you…?”

  “You were a hop and a skip away when I called—not hard to figure out.” He continued, “When your mom was closing in, who was it that overruled everyone and then single-handedly ran over a fleet of Union ships?” When she tried to protest, he held up a hand. “And who was it, exactly, who gave the order to wake up a terror of the deep? Who fought through that thing’s wrath without a peep, even when the rest of us nearly got you capsized? When the regent of frickin’ Wolfe Island threatened real violence, who stared him down without blinking?”

  Grace’s thumb had moved to her lips, pressing up without causing them to part. “I…I only did what I had to.”

  Charles moved in to place his hands on her shoulders gently. “No, you didn’t. You never needed us, but we always needed you.” He leaned down so he could rest his forehead against hers. “You don’t have to make up slights, you have your own real faults,” he added with a smirk. “You do let people walk all over you a bit. And you take things too personally, always blaming yourself.” Her eyes widened in shock, and he added, “But those are the kind of faults that make you so amazing.”

  “You care more than anyone I’ve ever known. Maybe that means you give in too easy to others’ desires, but it’s the kind of fault that’s born of love. Maybe you take too much pressure and guilt onto yourself, but that’s because you can’t stand the idea of not doing your best.” He moved one hand to her chin and tilted her face up. “I said it before, and I meant it. You’re too good for me, too good for all of us.” He whispered as he leaned down to capture her lips, “But that’s why I need you.”

  Grace took a minute before she came up for air, the kiss oddly energizing her. She pouted. “That’s still not fair.”

  “It is,” he replied. “More than you know.”

  “You don’t deserve this end,” she tried to remind him.

  Charles pulled back, turning around again. She could barely hear him as he seemed to breathe out, “Yes, I do.”

  “What you did, against the Ancient One, it wasn’t your fault.” She moved in and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind.

  Charles held up his hands, studying them. “You don’t know that. You want to believe it because of what we share now.” He sighed and rubbed his face. “That was the worst, but it was just one of my crimes. One of many.”

  “I don’t understand,” Grace admitted.

  Charles let one hand drop to his side, but continued staring at his right palm. “Do you have any idea how many lives have been lost to this hand? Even before that final battle, I was a soldier, a warrior. The Union would point me in a direction and shoot.” He squeezed his eyes shut as the memories piled up. “I had almost forgotten. But here, with all my memories out, they came back in perfect clarity. It’s not just that I did it. I enjoyed it. I was happy being the Glorious General. I took pride in bringing fear to the hearts of my enemies. I…” He opened his eyes to find a small snow globe of memories in his hand. Even here, between life and death, his body jumped from the shock.

  Grace held tight so as not to be pushed away, then peeked around his arm to see what had startled the man. She was mesmerized by the globe in his hand. From her vantage, she could see images of battle flying through the globe. Without thinking, she let go of Charles and snatched it
from his hand. He tried to stop her, but she was small and quick, ducking under his free hand and spinning several steps away. “These are your worst memories,” she said as she came to a stop.

  “Yes,” he admitted, trying to close the distance between them. Grace was too light on her feet, and even when he lunged desperately, she spun from his grasp. He fell to the white tile floor and stayed down momentarily. “Please give them back. No one else should have to see them.”

  “You shouldn’t have to bear them alone,” Grace replied.

  Charles waited for her gaze to fall completely on the globe before he made another mad dash forward. He stretched out his hand, trying to take back his shame, but time seemed to slow. The globe cracked and shattered. Charles watched as Grace’s hands and arms were assaulted with glass shards digging into her skin. There was no blood, but the silent scream on her lips spoke to the pain involved. Time seemed to catch back up and he caught her arm just as she collapsed to the floor.

  She hung limp for a moment before pulling her arms to her chest and rocking. Tears streamed down her face unfettered. Charles caught the look of horror in her eyes and took a step back. What shame he had felt over his actions was multiplied ten-fold. He dropped to his knees, staring at his hands once again. He could live with what he’d done. But to taint a pure soul like Grace, he was sure some hell must exist for people like him.

  Grace, for her part, took deep breaths to calm herself. She thought she was prepared for anything. She was the daughter of the Entregon, a being that, by all outside accounts, was pure evil. She’d listened to her mother’s every story. She’d been on the wrong end of her mother’s discipline many times. But the globe had been more than stories, more than lessons. She’d seen what Charles saw. She’d felt what he felt.

  She saw Charles, dazed and kneeling just two steps ahead. Her body took over before she knew what was happening, launching forward and tackling him to his back. She straddled his hips, gripped his shirt tight, and screamed in his face.

  Charles let his arms go limp. At that moment, he hoped she would hit him. He didn’t know what that would mean in this place, but he wanted to feel the pain he’d caused. He was surprised, then, when her scream died and she laid on his chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her tears in his chest. He was too shocked to react and just lay there like a log.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered through the tears. She felt Charles’s body stiffen before she sat up and he tried to push her away.

  “You don’t… No… You’re confused,” he babbled.

  He tried to wriggle out of her grasp, but she refused to let him go. Finally, she caused him to stop with a kiss to his temple. “I thought…” she gathered her experience into something coherent. “I thought if I knew the worst of you, that you could know I really love you.” She took a long, haggard breath. “But it wasn’t just the worst,” she admitted. She stared into his eyes. “It was everything.”

  She hugged him, hard enough to squeeze the breath from his lungs were that still a possibility. She continued, each sentence building into the next. “I know where you were born. I remember the nurses, the nobles, and the man that brought you into being. I saw what he did, what they all did. I know what they forced you to do, what they forced you to become. I saw what you lost, what can never be replaced.” She seemed to run out of steam, relaxing on his chest before adding, “I know what you found—with the captain, with Serin and Leslie, even with the converts. I know you love me.”

  She slowly rolled off him, pulling herself to her feet shakily. Charles still lay stunned on the floor, and she offered a hand. Numbly, he reached out and let her pull him up. When he stood, she wrapped her arms around his waist. “I know you,” she declared, firm and unopposable. “And I forgive you, for what you can’t forgive yourself.”

  Charles didn’t realize he was crying until his vision started to blur. He didn’t bother wiping the salty liquid away. Even here, where no wind moved, the tears seemed to cool him as they tracked down his cheeks. Had anyone else offered forgiveness, it would have felt hollow. No one still alive knew half of what he had done. They weren’t the ones who had been wronged, nor the one that had committed atrocities. But Grace—Grace had seen him, fully, from beginning to end. She had felt him as clearly as he felt himself. And somehow, she had the strength to forgive him. If ever he had doubted her character, the unstoppable force of her kindness, any such thought was forever banished.

  He couldn’t tell how long they stood there, locked in embrace, both shedding tears until their bodies ran out. He stared up at the water above, cursing that sky. He watched more magic escape the wound in his chest and his eyes grew hard. He had the strength to break mountains, but had spent the better part of his life wallowing in a past that couldn’t change. He felt the woman in his arms who had changed everything. Even in death, he had been running. But not anymore, not ever again. Her forgiveness had lent him the strength to face anything, even his demons.

  “I love you,” he spoke quietly.

  “I love you, too,” she replied quickly.

  Charles grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest. “I wish we would have had the time, together. I want to think I could have been the man you deserve. There’s just so much more we could have done.”

  “I know. I wish we had more time,” Grace replied breathlessly.

  “I would have been there for you. I would have stayed by your side until the end of time.” He leaned his forehead against hers. “I would have done more than just tell you that I love you. I would have committed myself to you every day. I would have reminded you just how special you are.” He took a choking breath as he tried to will that future into being. “I would have changed the world for you.”

  Grace took a labored breath as she tried to hold back her own tears. “I would have proven to you that you are worthy of every good thing that has happened. I would have lifted your soul from the darkness.” She closed her hand over his chest. “I would have found a way to heal you, to make you whole again.”

  Charles leaned his head back, staring desperately at the world above. “You already have. With you…I’m more than I’ve ever been.”

  “With you, I have everything I’ve truly wanted,” she replied in a whisper.

  Charles stared above, his expression hardening as he watched the tiny bubble of air rise from his body. There was still a part of him that wanted to fight, to curse the world for all it had done to him and Grace. And then a curious thing happened. His lips, those drowned in the lake, sparked. He wasn’t sure he had really seen it at first, but then they sparked again. He had to try.

  “Do you trust me?” he asked suddenly.

  “Of course,” Grace replied, puzzlement overtaking her features.

  “I have an idea. But for it to work, you have to accept it. You have to let it happen.” He looked down, eyes filled with sincerity and exuberant promise. “Do you trust me?”

  There was only one answer. “Yes,” she breathed.

  “Then kiss me,” he requested, “and let’s show this place that it can’t hold us.”

  Grace smiled and tilted her head up. She felt Charles settle his hands on her hips. She grabbed him by his hair and pulled him into an explosive kiss. The kiss itself was electric, and she began to feel warmer and warmer the longer their lips touched. In seconds, her body began feeling light, as if it could blow in the wind. Her eyes shot open when her feet began to lift from the floor. Slowly, she rose so she was at eye level with Charles. He tilted his head up then to continue the kiss.

  “Wait,” she cried, breaking the kiss. “You aren’t moving.”

  Charles smiled apologetically, but kept his hands firmly on her waist. “Yeah, I was afraid that might happen.”

  “What?” Grace wondered aloud. Her eyes moved to her hips, where she felt warmth still stealing its way under her skin. She caught sparks of static electricity around Charles’s fingers. “What have you done?”

  Charles motioned u
p, and waited for Grace to turn and look up at their bodies in the water. “We’re both here and there. I saw it when my magic sparked. I’m sitting under your anchor, leaking magic all over. It was a bit of a guess, but when you took my memories like that I knew that there was still a connection to be used.” He smiled as she watched magic from his chest travel to her anchor and dip inside. “I suppose I have your mom to thank for that, a clean pierce through my heart allowing my magic to escape instead of explode. But it’s still my power, and I can tell it what to do.”

  “But, if you give me all that, you won’t survive,” Grace replied in panic.

  Charles pulled the floating woman down gently before wrapping his arms around tighter. “Just enough to get you out. I can give what you need rise up, and I’m going to hold on for the ride. If it works, you can heal me.”

  Grace smiled and slipped one arm under his. “I’m not letting go.”

  “Me, neither,” he agreed. With Grace on board, he opened more and more of the floodgates. Above them water sizzled and swirled around Charles’s body like a tornado. Bolts of electricity sparked and flashed off the white tile.

  It took a moment for Grace to realize just how powerful Charles must have been. For years, he had kept this hidden, afraid of what it would do if it ever got out. It was terrifyingly beautiful in its colossal rage. She didn’t know how someone could live holding this back for more than a moment. Now it was hers. As the power transferred to her anchor, she felt her body in this in-between world rise. She held tight, and for a moment she could feel Charles lift off the floor. “It’s working,” she cried.

  So excited, she pulled her eyes from the water above to stare at Charles, who had his eyes closed in concentration. Just past her love, the white tile floor was changing. Directly below Charles’s feet, the tiles were cracking as the floor opened like a giant mouth. The colossal maw began sucking in the air around them, drawing everything toward an unending gray abyss. “Charles!” she yelled in his ear. “Don’t let go.”