Being Lovers

by Rachel Carrington

  He turns back. “That’s not what I meant. You’ll be safer there. I can protect you.”

  Francine makes a noise that sounds like disagreement, but when he gives her a suspicious look, there’s no expression on her face.

  “I won’t be safe anywhere until this guy is caught.” The dark scowl on his face doesn’t faze me. “So hiding out solves nothing. If you loan me one of your guns, I can at least even the odds some.”

  “What?” Now he’s looking at me like I’ve asked him to dance with a naked nun. “Emily, no. A gun isn’t your first go to.”

  “It’s his.” I point to the piece of paper he’s still holding.

  “I can’t just give you a gun. All of my weapons are owned by the Sheriff’s Department. No civilian can use them.”

  “I’ll give you one,” Francine offers. “We can even go out to Art’s place and get some practice in, just in case you want to make sure you hit something besides a shoulder this time.”

  “That isn’t the solution.” Adam walks to me, takes hold of my shoulders, and guides me toward the sofa, but not before shooting Francine a steely glare. “Listen to me. This guy is using a sniper rifle. A hand gun isn’t going to help you if a bullet is coming at you from hundreds of yards away.”

  “So how do you intend to protect me then? He can shoot through your windows just as good as he can these.” I think I’ve proved my point, but Francine grimaces.

  “What?”

  “His windows are bullet-proof,” she reveals with a roll of her eyes.

  “You have bullet-proof windows in your house?” Suspicion creeps into my voice. Why would a small-town sheriff need that kind of protection…unless he was expecting an attack? When he doesn’t immediately answer, I invade his personal space, tipping my face up to see his. “Do you?”

  He doesn’t look away. “Yes, I do, and right now, I’m thinking they’re going to come in handy.”

  “But why do you have them?” I fold my arms, not ready to relinquish the discussion without more information. “Has Juniper Springs ever had the type of criminal element that requires bullet-proof windows?”

  “It’s a personal preference.” There’s an edge to his voice telling me to let it go, but I push on anyway.

  “Really? And you just went into a home supply store and picked them out? Come on, Adam, even I know that stuff has to be special-ordered, and it’s not something an ordinary person chooses when decorating a house. So why do you have them?”

  “Why are they such a big deal to you? Right now, all you should be thinking about is how they might save your life.”

  “The only way they could save my life is if I never left your house, but since I’m not interested in becoming a hermit, that won’t work.”

  Adam blows out a breath that is an explosion of pure irritation. “It won’t be forever.”

  “It won’t be at all.”

  He stands in front of me, fire in his eyes, and his jaw set, fully expecting me to back down. But I remain firm. It’s ironic that the strength he helped me find is what I’m now using against him. “Adam, we don’t know when this guy’s going to make his next move. It could be next week or two months from now. Do you really expect me to just sit in your house all day long for only God knows how long?”

  A muscle jerks in his jaw. “It doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

  “Would you do it?” When I throw it back at him, his gaze drops. “I didn’t think so.” Trying to soften the moment, I place my hand on his arm. “The best way for me to get through this is to go on with life as normal. I won’t pretend I’m not scared, but I can’t stay hidden.”

  “It doesn’t have to be forever. Just give me some time. Now that we know a little more—”

  “What little more do you know?” Francine wedges herself next to Adam and taps him firmly on the arm. “I knew you were hiding something so what is it that you’re not telling me?”

  “That contract isn’t going to help you find him. So far, he’s been pretty damned good at staying hidden.”

  “Contract? What contract?” Voice squeaking, Francine thumps Adam a little harder. “Don’t ignore me. I want to know what the hell is going on.”

  “This guy has had ample opportunity to kill me, but he hasn’t yet. He hit Mark, Sheriff Abernathy, and Mr. McAllister all in the same room. I was standing outside in the parking lot afterwards, and he didn’t even attempt to take me out. Regardless of how much he’s been paid, I think he wants me to know who he is first.”

  “Then he can drop you a damned postcard because the bastard isn’t getting within five hundred feet of you.” Adam’s voice is only slightly lower than a roar.

  “Will someone please tell me what the two of you are talking about?” Francine’s shout stills the conversation.

  One hand in his hair, Adam turns away, directing his gaze out the window. Anger rolls off of him in waves. That and helplessness. He knows he can’t control this sniper’s next move, his next bullet. And Adam is used to being in control.

  I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. He takes my hands and lifts them to his chest. My cheek pressing against his back, I close my eyes. He squeezes my hands then lets them drop. “I need some air.” He slips out of my arms and walks out the door without another word.

  I don’t go after him because the lack of invitation is clear. He wants to be alone. Dropping to the sofa, I look up at Francine and answer the questions in her eyes. “Adam and I went back to the house I shared with Mark. While I was searching for all of my clothes, I found a contract showing that Mark, at least we think it’s Mark, had hired someone to kill me.”

  Her mouth hangs open. “Dear God.” She plops down beside me. “Now I know why Adam wants you to stay with him.” Her hand gripping mine, she scoots closer. “And it might not be such a bad idea.”

  I glower at her. “It’s a terrible idea. I don’t want to become his responsibility, Francine.” Before she can interrupt, I hold up one hand. “I know he cares about me, but this...my staying with him because he thinks I need protection…could change things in a way we don’t want. I don’t want.”

  A gusty sigh escapes Francine’s glossy lips. “Someone has a contract out on your life, Emily. I believe I’d be more worried more about that than how it might affect your relationship.”

  She’s right as usual. But I’ve lost enough control of my life. I don’t want to lose more. With Adam, I feel like I’ve finally taken the first steps toward starting over, and I’m getting to a place where I can be the real me, the one I wasn’t even sure existed. Letting him take charge and make all the decisions feels like a step backwards. If that makes me irrational, then I could accept that.

  “I’ve been worried so long, Francine, and I’m tired of constantly looking over my shoulder. I know this guy is out there, but there is nothing I can do except live my life the best I can. And pray Adam catches him before this killer makes his move.”

  When she doesn’t look convinced, I press on. “Adam won’t stop hunting for him.”

  “I don’t doubt that.” She’s still frowning. “And I understand about being worried, but Adam’s only looking out for you, trying to make sure you stay safe. The way I see it, there’s nothing wrong with that. And sometimes, you have to concede even when you think you’re right. Believe me. I know what’s going on inside that head of yours, but there are times when you just have to give in. Letting go doesn’t always mean losing control.”

  “This could consume him, and the last thing I want is for him to turn this into a vendetta. That changes people.”

  “So you think if you go stay with Adam all he’s going to be focused on is finding this bastard with a rifle? Oh, honey, you’re really overthinking things. He’ll have you in his house all to himself, and while safety will be on his mind, having you close is going to be at the forefront. You’ll be there with him. And you can make sure he maintains focus, although, I’ve never seen that man lose control in such a manner that I question
ed his ability to properly do his job.”

  “I’m scared all the time, Francine.” I place my hand over my stomach. It’s the first time I’ve admitted the words aloud, and some of the tension eases from my shoulders. I need this, to share the many days and nights I walk on the verge of terror. I thought I’d have my life back after Mark died, but that contract made sure I won’t find peace any time soon. “I’m always in knots even though I try to hide it.” Those words come out on a whisper.

  “Because you haven’t let yourself grieve.”

  “For Mark?” My voice squeaks.

  “No, for the past eight years of your life, the time you lost, time you’ll never get back. That’s all bottled up inside of you, and even though Mark is gone, you’re having a hard time letting all that anguish go.” Her fingers tighten around mine. “He is gone, Emily. And you have to figure out how you want to spend the rest of your life.” She inclines her head towards the door. “And if you’re going to let him be a part of it.”

  “He is a part of my life, and I want this relationship to grow into something more.” I cast my gaze toward the door. “I want to be with him.”

  She bumps my shoulder with hers then pats my leg. “That’s something you should be telling him. But before you go out there, let me tell you finding that contract didn’t just scare the hell out of you, and Adam doesn’t know what to do with that kind of fear. Loving someone and knowing you might lose them, that’s a whole different kind of terror right there.”

  I climb to my feet. “I know. I saw his face the moment he read that that piece of paper.”

  Her eyes crinkle with a smile. “Well, then go talk to your man.”

  Adam is standing on the porch, one hand curled around the distressed white banister. He’s looking to the right, toward the empty grass acreage. I come up behind him and wrap my arms around him again just like I did in the house.

  He reaches back to rest his hands on my hips. “This is as new to me as it is to you.”

  “Too bad we don’t have some kind of instruction manual. Maybe after this, we can write one together.”

  When he twists to face me, he’s wearing a heavy frown. “I’m used to controlling situations, Emily. I don’t know how to act any other way.”

  “How about a compromise?” I slide my hands up his chest.

  “What kind of compromise?”

  “Until you catch this guy, I’ll stay with you on the weekends. The rest of the week, I’m here.”

  The frown becomes a glower. “You spend more than that with me now.”

  I blink up at him, the picture of innocence that I pour into my voice. “Do I? Well, see what happens when you don’t issue orders like I work for you?”

  “Woman, you’re going to be the death of me.” He slips his arms around me and holds me tight against his tense body.

  I wind my arms around his neck. “Why don’t I go inside and grab some things? I believe tonight is one of those sleepover nights.”

  A gruff laugh escapes, and he lifts me several inches off the wooden porch. “In that case, you don’t need any clothes.”

  Chapter Two

  Two days later

  I don’t want to wake up. My insides churn at the thought. The pillow next to mine is empty, and I listen closely to hear Adam moving around in the kitchen. The sheets are cold on his side of the bed, making me wonder how long he’s been up.

  The coffee’s brewing, but even that doesn’t induce me to get up. I bury my face beneath the blanket and close my eyes. Yesterday had been glorious. Adam and I had spent the entire day right here in this bed. We’d shut out the world and had even gone as far as silencing our cell phones, although he’d occasionally check his to make sure Juniper Springs hadn’t fallen apart without its trusty sheriff.

  Rolling and stretching, I smile at the memories. My muscles were pleasantly sore. A shower will help, but that puts me one step closer to getting ready. Leaving the house. Driving back to Broomtown for Mark and Ike’s funeral. None of which I really want to do.

  When I’d learned from the mortuary’s website that their funerals were going to be combined, I almost changed my mind about going, but then I wondered who would go. The town, maybe, but would anyone who ever really knew those two men be there? Ike and Mark let everyone see what they wanted them to see. They’d put on faces that only changed in the dark.

  That reminder had solidified my decision to go. At least one person there would know the truth, though, I don’t know what difference that really makes.

  The scent of coffee grows stronger, and I peek my head out from underneath the blankets to see steam wafting from a mug Adam’s holding. He’s looking back at me. With damp hair and bare feet, he looks good enough to eat. I lower the comforter because the idea has its merits.

  “Would you like to come back to bed with me?” I shift the sheets to give him a glimpse of my naked leg.

  His gaze streaks down my thigh before zooming back to my face. “I’ll put your coffee on the nightstand. While you’re in the shower, I’m going to run down to the office to see if there’s anything I need to know about and to take care of a few things.”

  There’s no question of him staying here in Juniper Springs. As much as he despised Mark for the few minutes he knew him, Adam is going with me to the joint funeral. And I don’t want to insist he stay here. He’s my comfort, my one constant now.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” His head tips to one side as he studies me.

  I blink to bring myself back to the conversation. “No reason. Guess I’ll go get that shower since I can’t interest you in coming back to bed.”

  “You can always change your mind about going.” There’s not even the slightest hint of hope in his voice. I think he knows by now that’s not going to happen.

  “I know I can, but I won’t.”

  He doesn’t turn around even though I think the conversation is over. “You know this is going to put you through hell, don’t you?”

  “What? No, it won’t. I’m going to close this chapter of my life. There’s nothing else to it.” I toss the bedding to one side and swing my legs over the edge of the mattress. I’m naked, and Adam is immediately distracted. I stand and stretch, using his reaction to change the subject as I make my way to the bathroom. “Didn’t you say something about having to go to the office?”

  “You know, I think it can wait.” He begins walking toward me, but I back up into the bathroom and quickly snatch my robe from the hook on the back of the door. Hazel eyes pin me with accusation. “Weren’t you just asking me to come back to bed with you?”

  “Yeah, but I’m not in the mood anymore.” I tie a secure knot around my waist for effect.

  One eyebrow lifts. “Really? You don’t think I could change your mind?” One more step, and he’ll be close enough to touch.

  My mouth waters like it usually does whenever he’s next to me. I thought by now this constant craving I have for him would have waned, but, if anything, it’s gotten stronger. Without him, I spend most of my time thinking of him. When he’s with me, I can’t think of anything else.

  He’s cupping my face. One thumb strokes my lower lip, and my legs turn to pudding. “I really should get ready.” The protest is weak for he’s already backing toward the bed with just the tips of his fingers holding mine.

  Once his knees bump the mattress, he turns and draws me closer. “We have plenty of time,” he whispers against the nape of my neck.

  Chills dance down my spine, and the hunger inside becomes so strong, I shut out everything but him. The sound of his voice. His touch. Kisses that caress my skin. I relax in his arms, sliding my hands up his chest to wrap them around his neck.

  Pleasure beckons me, and I chase it with fervor, fisting my hands in his sandy-brown hair. Silently, I encourage him. Keep touching me. Kissing me. Feeling every place on my body that makes me wild. And, without words, he follows my lead.

  We fall to the mattress, my legs hooked around his. He yank
s my robe open and laves my breasts with his tongue. I’m spinning, cocooned in a blanket of heat and happiness. In less than two weeks, Adam has magnetized me. I’m so enmeshed in his life, his world, I can’t imagine leaving.

  His hands journey everywhere. Through my hair. Down to my hips. Between my legs. Until I squirm. Breaths come in short gasps as I beg him to satisfy me. When he chuckles, that knowing, masculine sound that’s all ego, I slide my hand between our bodies and close it around his length. His breath catches in his throat.

  “Now who’s laughing?” I nibble his ear and glide my palm up and down his shaft until Adam stills my hand.

  He makes a noise that sounds like a growl and slides his hands underneath my hips. Anticipation grips my stomach. I swirl my hands over his abdomen then around to his sides where I dig my fingers into his skin. “The condom,” I whisper in case he forgot.

  “Shit. Yeah.” Adam pushes up onto one elbow and, for a moment, looks completely lost.

  “In the drawer.” My voice sounds as breathy as his.

  “Drawer. Right.” His fingers bump against keys and other junk until he locates the box. “Got it.” He turns to his side, and I watch impatiently while he rolls the condom into place.

  “I really need to get on the pill.” I help him push the latex into place then push him back against the mattress. The need is so great my body feels heavy, like I’m walking through quicksand. I start to slide up his legs, but Adam isn’t waiting. He lifts me like I weigh no more than a scrap of lace and lowers me slowly onto his shaft.

  Then I’m complete. Whole. I drop my hands to his chest and lean forward, taking all of him inside me. Holding him completely. Our gazes meet, and we don’t look away as our bodies find a rhythm that will take us over the edge.

  It’s a perfection I could never hope to find anywhere else. The hunger in his eyes as he drives into me is everything I need. He’s everything I need. And though I haven’t told me, he owns me. Body. Soul. I want to stay right here with him. Forever. My heart won’t consider leaving him.