Losing Pieces of Me

by Briner, Rose

  I’m not sure what she means by that, she makes it sound like his heart was broken last week or something. I never got the impression that Jayden was recently in a relationship, but then again, he may just hide how he feels really well from others. I know a thing or two about doing that, I’ve been doing that for a really long time now.

  Walking out of the room, I’m nervous as hell about how tonight is going to go. Some of my anxiety subsides when I get to the bottom of the stairs and find Jayden standing there with his back turned to me. He senses me and turns around as he allows his eyes to roam over my body. I feel naked standing before him as he takes his time looking me over before nodding once in approval.

  “Very good, you did a nice job of selecting outfits that are appropriate,” he comments, shoving his hands into his pockets.

  Thanks, I guess? That was a strange way to compliment me on my dress.

  “You look very nice,” I comment trying to strike up conversation. He really does look nice in his black tuxedo with his blonde hair slicked back. He looks really well put together without a single hair out of place. Finally, we look like we belong together.

  I smile up at him when he offers me his arm so he can escort me out to the car. When we’re inside, I’m excited that we are alone together so we can finally talk.

  “Where are we going?” I ask eagerly.

  “To a society party,” he says, shifting in his seat nervously. What he’s nervous about I’m not sure.

  “Everything is going to be fine, you know that right? Just tell me what you want me to tell people when they ask us questions about how we met and all that, and everything will run smoothly,” I tell him, trying to reassure him.

  “No one is going to ask you anything, they are going to be there to talk to me, not to talk to you. Don’t worry about doing anything other than standing there and looking pretty,” he replies, and I believe him. He just wants me to stand there and say nothing. Just like a trophy wife would.

  “But-,”

  The damn phone starts ringing again. I swear one of these days I’m going to throw that shit out the window and laugh when it breaks into a million pieces. I smile to myself as I imagine just that happening. Of course I don’t do it, but I can imagine that’s what happened.

  “What?” he growls into the phone in annoyance. There’s a voice shouting at him on the other end of the line that I can’t make out. “We’ll be there in five minute Charles, you can manage until I get there correct? It’s not like she’s going to stab you with a knife before I get there.”

  There’s more silence on Jayden’s part as the voice continues to yell at him.

  “Yes, she’s with me,” I see him looking at me out of the corner of his eye, but I ignore him as I sit there and stare straight ahead. I’m pretending I’m not listening, but I’m curious who this woman is they are talking about. Maybe his mother will be there tonight?

  He doesn’t say anything else as he abruptly hangs the phone up. It continues to ring after that, but he ignores it as he rubs the back of his neck in annoyance. I try to think of something else to say that might somehow comfort him, but I can’t think of anything since I have absolutely no clue what’s going on.

  I don’t have to worry about filling up the silence with conversation because we arrive at the party and the second the car pulls up to the curb outside of a massive home, he gets out of the car and waits for me to exit after him. He doesn’t help me out, so I have to awkwardly get out of the car on my own, all the while trying not to topple over when my dress gets stuck under my shoes as I attempt to stand.

  Luckily I manage not to fall down, there’s a row of photographers standing there waiting to take our photo when we exit the car.

  They start shouting Jayden’s name the second we walk closer and I watch as he ignores them and begins up the steps towards the house. He doesn’t wait for me or give any indication that we are together. So I am forced to walk up the stairs alone like I’m a spinster who was invited to the party out of pity.

  The flash of lights has me stopping momentarily as my eyes try to adjust to the flashing going off in my face.

  “Miss, who are you here with?” asks one brave photographer, getting up in my face.

  I look ahead of me and find Jayden standing there staring down at me with wide eyes. He shakes his head no, but I ignore him as I turn to the photographer and give her what she wants.

  “With Mr. Leopold,” I reply, squaring my shoulders and staring up at Jayden in defiance. He takes several steps in my direction, but I ignore him as I turn to the woman before me. “I’m his wife,” I declare making her eyes widen as she takes another photo of me.

  “How does it feel to replace Vanessa so soon after their split?” she shouts at me as Jayden drags me away. I’m in for it now as he pulls me to the side of the room when we get inside so no one can see us. My breath hitches with his close proximity. I can’t tell if he wants to kiss me or pummel me right now. Although, I suspect it’s the latter.

  “What were you thinking telling her that we’re married?” he growls in irritation as he stares me down.

  “Well, we are married, Jayden, I didn’t feel like lying,” I growl back at him, crossing my arms over my chest and pushing him slightly as I step closer to him. “I was unaware you wanted to keep me your dirty little secret.’

  “I told you not to speak to anyone,” he says as he rubs his temple.

  “Well, excuse me for having a voice,” I tell him. “Who is Vanessa?” I ask hoping to get an answer out of him besides just stand there and don’t speak the rest of the night.

  “Don’t worry about who Vanessa is, the point is that you are my wife now and I don’t want you to breathe a single word for the rest of the night,” he announces, stepping away from me and dragging me by the arm behind him towards the waiting room full of people.

  I heave in a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. There are so many people here tonight, how does he expect me not to talk? Especially when I finally do find out exactly who Vanessa is.

  Chapter Twelve

  Vanessa is a devastatingly beautiful woman. She’s everything that I’m not. She’s tall, blonde, has beautiful green eyes, and a body that most women would kill for. Not to mention she seems to have the attention of Jayden. My husband.

  I’m not quite sure what happened between them other than she was after his money, but even despite that, he’s looking at her like he wants to drag her off to the bathroom and fuck her up against the sink. I hate her on sight and I hate her even more when she opens her mouth to speak to Jayden.

  “Jay darling, don’t you look wonderful this evening,” she smiles up at him as he reaches forward to embrace her with a pained expression on his face. I can’t tell if he’s pained because he wants to hug her back or if he despises her.

  “Vanessa, nice to see you again,” he says to her cordially.

  She reaches forward to latch onto his arm, and that’s when she notices me standing there next to him. “Who is this?” she asks curiously. “A new associate of yours?”

  He turns to me and places an arm around my waist as he pulls me in closer to him, “This is Mireya.”

  “Nice to meet you, Mireya. Has Jay here been treating you well? If not, you should leave the company at once, he’s been known to mistreat pretty women before,” she says with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

  “Has he now?” I ask. I know he told me not to speak, but I’m going to do it anyways. I bet this woman has all sorts of dirt on Jayden.

  “Why yes, I’ve caught him a time or two with a woman in his office. I finally had to put my foot down and tell him it was them or me,” she laughs as she smiles up at Jayden.

  My blood boils at this announcement. This type of thing shouldn’t be bothering me, but it is. I know this is just a business arrangement, but I will not be made a mockery of and I am his wife, he will respect me whether he likes it or not.

  “I’m sure he has plenty of women that admire him, but a
las, not any longer,” I say with a dramatic sigh. Jayden’s hand tightening around my waist is a warning that I choose to ignore. “Isn’t that right Jay?” I look up at him and raise an eyebrow in question.

  I squeeze him back when he doesn’t immediately answer. I really want to kick him or stomp on his foot.

  He clears his throat and blinks, realizing that he’s glaring down at me, “That is very true, Mireya.”

  The way he says my name, I know if we were alone in this room he would strangle me for pushing him the way I am. I just don’t understand why he doesn’t want to tell her who I am. Who is this woman to him anyways? Does he still love her?

  “The suspense is killing me,” Vanessa says, rubbing her hands together in anticipation as she leans in closer to us so others around us can’t hear. “Tell me why he won’t be doing that any longer, since he and I are no longer together and he’s free to do whatever he wants.”

  I can tell her having to admit they are no longer together hurts her, but probably not because she loves this man. I can see it in her eyes in the way she looks at him, she loves his money, not the man. Shame too, Jayden seems like a real catch.

  “I can’t do that any longer Vanessa, because I am a married man now,” he announces.

  Her gasp is one of genuine shock. “Pray tell Jay, who is this wife of yours?”

  I can tell this is about to go downhill from here and the nice act she has going on is going to quickly fade and die an evil death.

  “This is my wife,” he announces, leaning down to kiss me on the forehead. He leaves his lips there for several seconds and a strange feeling of warmth fills me at the gesture. He might be ready to kill me, but he’s still willing to play the part.

  I can almost see the change in her demeanor. Her smile doesn’t falter, but her eyes change and darken as she stares at me. Her eyes soften to adoration though when Jayden looks back over at her. This one is going to be dangerous for me. I’m going to have to watch my back.

  The rest of the evening goes smoothly until we get home later that night. The second we are inside and he turns his glare on me, I know I am in deep shit. He advances towards me and opens his mouth to shout at me.

  “Don’t you think this conversation would be better had upstairs in your room? We wouldn’t want Alfred and Bridget to hear this fight, now would we?” I tell him as I take a step back from him and hold my hands out in front of me.

  “Let’s go then,” he scowls at me as he pulls me behind him and up the stairs to the third floor.

  I want to admire the room when we get up there since the space is spectacular, but the slamming of his door and the lock turning has me gulping down a breath and turning to face him.

  “Do you have any idea what you’ve done, Mireya?”

  I huff at him and place my hands on my hips, “I don’t, but that woman has no rights to you and I’m not sorry that she knows we’re married.”

  “That woman is going to go and run to tell my mother all about us being married. I was trying to keep that secret from her until we got to know one another better. Now we’ll maybe have three days tops before my mother gets here, how are we supposed to pull that one off, huh? You tell me cause I don’t have the slightest idea.”

  I throw my hands up in the air and kick my shoes off as I take a seat on the edge of his massive bed.

  “This is your fault, you know that right? We’ve had plenty of time to get to know one another and yet you’ve avoided that at all costs. Why Jayden? You have so much at stake right now and this has to be done perfectly or it’ll never work and all of this was for nothing.”

  “I can’t do that,” he announces, turning his back to me. I throw my hands up in the air as I stand from the bed and make my way over to stand behind him.

  “Look at me, Jayden,” I urge him, as I gently place my hands on him so I can turn him to face me. “Why can’t you get to know me? We need to do this.”

  “I can’t,” he says again with a pained expression when his eyes meet mine. His blue eyes are full of turmoil, I can’t figure out what is going on with this man. “I can’t get to know you better, hell, I can’t be near you.”

  “Why?” I ask him. “Because I’m that bad of a person? Or is it because you regret the decision you made to marry me? I don’t regret it if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  “You did it for the money, you are just like the rest of them, you’re after my money.”

  “Is this what the fuck this is all about, Jayden? I’m not here only for your money. I like being around you for some reason and while the money is a factor, I would’ve still gotten to know you if you were broke.” That’s true, while the money is a factor in finding my sister, I genuinely want to get to know Jayden.

  “Do you mean that?” he asks me as he brings himself even closer to me.

  “I do,” I reply, fighting to hold still and not take a step back. He’s standing really close to me now. So close that if he leaned his head down he could kiss me with no effort.

  “I can’t get to know you better because I don’t think I can be in the same room with you without wanting to rip all of your clothes all and fuck you raw, Mireya. I’m attracted to you in a way I’ve never been attracted to another woman. I’ve been with plenty of women, but there’s something about you that has me wanting to bend you over the side of my bed and bury myself inside of you for the rest of the night. That’s dangerous for me,” he announces, placing his hands on my hips and bringing me closer so I can feel his erection against me.

  I gasp in shock when I feel it and fight to focus on what he just said and not his giant erection that’s now between the two of us.

  “If you want me, then take me. I’m attracted to you too, I’ve never done this before, but being near you makes me want to be with you. We’re married, you can ask me if that’s what you want Jayden, I won’t say no to you,” I tell him and I’m surprised by how much I mean the words.

  “You don’t understand,” he says, shaking his head. “I can’t do this because you’re going to get attached to me and this is only a temporary situation. I can’t love you, Mireya, I can’t give you what you deserve and for that reason I can’t do this.”

  I feel empty when he lets me go and steps away from me.

  “Who said I wanted love Jayden? We’re attracted to one another and we need to get to know one another better so we can pull this off. If you have to fuck me to make that happen, then so be it, but there is something that you should know before you make your decision,” this has him turning back to face me. “I’m a virgin and if we decide to do this, I won’t share you. This may be an arrangement we have, but I will not be disrespected in that way.”

  “I understand,” he replies with a nod. He looks me over as he takes a step back in my direction. “So you agree then? That we can be intimate together, but no feelings will be involved?”

  I can do this, I don’t even know what love is anyways. I just want to experience life for once and for some reason this man has my undivided attention. I’m scared, but I’m willing to take the risk if he’s willing to take that leap with me.

  “I agree,” I tell him with a soft smile and a small shrug. I’ve never meant anything more in my life.

  Chapter Thirteen

  He’s back standing before me seconds later and his mouth is crashing down onto mine before I even have time to form another thought. Heat fills me as he drags me closer to him so he can deepen the kiss. I allow my hands to run all over his back as he kisses me, eventually my hands make it down to his ass and I squeeze it in my hands.

  “God that feels good, Mireya. Are you sure you want to do this? There will be no going back after this because I have this feeling once I get a taste of you, I’ll want more of you,” he says as he removes his jacket.

  I back away from him and I see the disappointment that flickers across his face. This has me smiling at him, he thinks I’ve changed my mind. I may be a virgin, but I’m not going to tease him, I want him too
much for that.

  Just once won’t hurt right? I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t take him up on his offer, and perhaps if he sees I’m willing to do some of the things he wants to do, he won’t have to avoid me.

  I lean back against his bed and pull the top of my dress down, revealing my strapless bra to him. I’m not used to wearing such beautiful lingerie, but I couldn’t resist when I saw some of the matching sets in the store, so I thought, sure why not? I’m glad I did it now that he’s seen it. He looks pleased when he sees what I’m wearing for the first time and pride fills me as his eyes widen and he smiles mischievously at me.

  “You sure you’ve never done this before, Mireya?” he asks coming closer so he can trap me between his arms as he leans forward over the bed. I’m forced to lean back on my elbows so I can stare up at him.

  My smile falters, does he think I do this all the time or something? I’m forced to look away from him so he can’t see my expression. Here I thought he was going to be the first man that I’ve ever had sex with and he thinks I do this all the time? I bet he doesn’t believe that I’m a virgin either.

  I blow out a breath and pull my dress back up into place and push on him so he’ll allow me to stand from the bed.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t do this,” I tell him as I step past him and towards the door.

  His hand on my shoulder stops me, “Wait, please don’t go. What did I do to upset you?”

  “What makes you think you’ve done something to upset me?” I whisper.

  He turns me to face him, “Because I saw the moment your face changed, I know I said something that upset you. Do you not want to do this?”

  When I look up at him and search his eyes, all I see in them is a man who looks genuinely confused. Maybe he didn’t mean what he said in the way I think he did.

  “Can I be honest with you?” I ask him as I take a few steps away from him.

  “Of course you can, I wouldn’t expect anything less from you,” he says, leaning back against the wall and crossing his arms over his chest.