The Aftermath

by R. J. Prescott

  “Thanks, Kier.”

  “No problem, Con. There’s no way we were letting you make your own way home after this. I’m on strict instructions to update Danny once we get you home as well. So how’s she doing?”

  “You know how she is. On the outside, she’s amazing but sleep tonight’s gonna be fucking brutal.”

  “Anything we can do?” he asked.

  “I wish there was, but I’ve got no fucking clue what I’m doing. I guess I’ve just gotta be here for her while she processes everything.”

  “No man. I meant is there anything I can do for you? You need to go a few rounds in the morning, let off some steam?”

  “I could use a hug,” I told him straight-faced. Anyone else and they’d have told to fuck off, and even though I really was taking the piss, Kier hugged me.

  * * *

  Listening to my girl sobbing in her sleep in the dead of night, was fucking heartbreaking. Last week I came home to find her crying over a chick flick about some guy who couldn’t find a way to tell his girl that he loved her until he’d nearly lost her. I didn’t get it. If you love someone, you don’t sit there fucking moaning about it. You get your arse up and make her see you’re the only man for her. Or kidnap her until she sees sense. If you don’t love something enough to fight for it, you don’t really love it at all. Still Em had cried like it was the end of the world. A big hug, cup of tea, and a bar of chocolate, and she was all good. But this was not good. It was so fucking far from good I didn’t know where to begin.

  “No, no, no,” she moaned quietly into her pillow. Her body was curled up in the fetal position in the middle of the bed, her frowning face tortured in sleep.

  “Mum, help me!” she cried into the dark. Lying on my back, my arms out at my sides, I tried to let her cries pass over me, not through me. My fists were clenched so tight I thought the knuckles would burst through the skin any minute. I hoped for it. The pain would give me something else to focus on.

  “Mum, please help me, please, please.” That was it. I seriously couldn’t take this anymore. I tried to wake her up when she first had them but she’d start hyperventilating and it took me ages to calm her down. Her therapist told us that as long as the dreams weren’t chronic or violent, I should let her sleep. That is was her brain’s way of working though shit. Until recently, she hadn’t had one since we first met. It was like Frank got locked up, and bam, no more dreams. Some days now, she’d wake up and not remember she’d been dreaming. I learned not to bring it up after she’d kissed me good morning once and I’d asked how she slept after her nightmare. The look of pure joy drained out of her and what was left was fear.

  Now with the training, I wasn’t there when she woke. So I went back to the notes. Every morning, whether she’d been dreaming or not, I’d leave a note for her. I would always be the dragon she woke up to whether in person or on paper. I’d even leave a doodle on some of them to make her smile, and I can’t draw for shit. Love makes us do stupid things.

  “Please, Frank. Don’t do this.” To my shame, I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair, and with one last, painful look at Em I walked to the bathroom, shut the door, and sank to the floor, resting my head in my hands. Banging my head against the door, I crossed my hands over my knees, and I looked up at the water-stained ceiling. How do you fight an enemy you can’t see? Frank’s arse was in jail, and even if I could beat the ever-loving shit out of him, it wouldn’t help Em.

  A soft groan sounded from behind the door, and a new wave of shame washed over me. I wanted to hurt someone, but there was no one to hurt. No one that would make me feel any better anyway. I wanted to rage at someone, but there was nothing I could shout that could take back what was done. In the end I realized that there was only one way left to fight. And that was by my girl’s side.

  Growing a pair of balls, I dragged my sorry arse off the floor and back to bed. Wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her into my side. She burrowed in subconsciously, looking for my body heat. For more than a year, she’d been my sunshine in a dark place. Now it was my turn to be hers. So when I left for training the next morning, I made sure she knew I was still with her. Even with my scrawl, it was still pretty legible with no lines through it or spelling mistakes, which was a big fucking achievement for me. In fact, I was pretty pleased until I decided to doodle a teddy bear on the front, which ended up looking more like a Chucky doll. Still, I’d bet she’d keep it with all the others.

  Hey Sunshine,

  I hope you slept well. By the time you read this, I’ll probably be running. But I just wanted to let you know I’m with you at school or court. I’m with you. Always. One lifetime will never be enough, baby.

  I love you,

  OC xxx

  PS. Sleeping in sexy red panties is banned for the foreseeable fucking future. I can’t go running with a hard-on anymore. It’s getting embarrassing!”

  * * *

  “What the fuck?” I said as Kieran, Tommy, and I walked in through the door of our flat to the sight of Nikki holding a giant purple dildo.

  “Hey guys” she greeted us with a smile. “How’s the training going?” The three of us stood there with our mouths open like goldfish. All of us were distracted by the hypnotic, therapeutic buzz of the dildo as it vibrated in her hands.

  “Tell me I’ve died and gone to porn heaven,” Tommy mumbled as he stood incredulously beside me.

  “You have any thoughts about my wife that even feature a dildo, you’re gonna wish you were dead,” I responded.

  “Okay. No dildo,” he said, still looking pretty happy with himself.

  “Just to be clear. No sexual fantasies about my wife whatsoever. In fact, the only time you need to be thinking about my wife is when you’re where her husband is. And more importantly where his fist is in relation to your face.

  “You suck all the fun out of life,” Tommy said.

  Our tiny flat was full of women passing around lingerie and sex toys. I coughed to clear my throat as I locked eyes on my wife.

  “So what’s going on, Sunshine?” I asked, trying to sound casual. She was holding a black lace bra up against herself and talking to Nikki’s housemate.

  “Sorry, love. I didn’t know you’d be home this early. Nikki’s friend Helen is helping us host an Ann Summers’ party.”

  “I thought it would take her mind off tomorrow,” Nikki told me.

  “Good call,” I said with a smile.

  “I’m gonna head over to Kieran’s and grab some dinner. Give you ladies some peace and quiet.”

  “Sorry. I feel like I’m pushing you out. I forgot to mention that the girls were coming by,” Em said as she squeezed past the women, who were mainly sprawled over the bed comparing toys.

  “It’s fine, baby. Go and have a good time, and I’ll see you later.”

  “I won’t spend too much money, I promise!” I looked down again at that black lace underwear and imagined Em wearing it.

  “Spend as much as you like,” I told her. My voice full of conviction.

  “Mine’s bigger and a prettier color. Do you want to see?” Em and I both turned around just in time to catch Tommy’s generous offer to the ladies. Most of them giggled and looked at Tom lovingly. How the fuck did he do that? He said something crude or danced like a woman, and girls thought he was cute. But if Kier or I ever did it, we’d just come off as being dicks.

  “They think he’s gay,” Kier said, reading my mind, “that’s why they think he’s cute.”

  “No they don’t,” Tommy called back. “I’m not saying men don’t want me,” he told Nikki matter-of-factly, “but there’s not enough of me to share with the ladies as it is.”

  “You know it really is purple,” I told the girls, as I nodded my head toward Tommy’s junk.

  “STDs,” Kieran whispered conspiratorially to a captive audience.

  “Jealousy is an ugly thing, my friend,” Tommy said to Kieran, as he tried to rise above all Kieran’s insults.

  “I’
m not jealous of your STDs,” Kieran said.

  “You’re such a dick,” Tommy told him.

  “Do you want to hold my dick?” Nikki offered to Tommy as Em laughed. I spotted a bottle of white wine on the table and figured they’d all had a few drinks to unwind.

  “It’s a mood cock,” Nikki told him. “It vibrates and changes color depending on your mood.”

  “Okay,” he agreed without hesitation.

  “Go, Tommy!” Em encouraged him.

  “It’s all right,” he said. “I’m man enough to hold a fucking dildo.”

  Nikki handed it to him and he held it out like it was plutonium. Within seconds it turned blue. Sunshine was holding her side from laughing so hard. After last night, I’d be happy to stay here all night listening to Tommy talk up a storm just to see her smile.

  “Seriously, ladies! How can you possibly think this could replace the real thing?” Tom asked curiously.

  “Do you think you could get yours to vibrate and change color?” Nikki asked him through her laughter. Tommy looked her up and down suggestively.

  “For you Nik, I could make it stand at attention and dance to the national anthem.” The women erupted as they considered what Tommy’s dancing cock looked like.

  Hauling my girl in for a hug. I called over to Kieran. “I think that’s our cue to leave,” I told him. He didn’t hear me. Smiles all gone, he’d locked eyes on the girl who’d just walked out of the bathroom.

  “Hey, Marie,” he said softly. “It’s good to see you again.”

  “It’s good to see you too,” she replied.

  I looked from one to the other and felt like I was missing something. She was the girl who’d designed Em’s wedding dress, and since the wedding she, Em, Nikki, and a few of their university and waitressing friends had spent a lot more time together. Sunshine had been denied friendship for most of her life by that evil fuck Frank so I loved that she was building her own circle of friends, especially with me out training so much.

  Then I spotted someone I never expected to see in our flat. “What’s Katrina doing here?” I asked Em. I spoke quietly but Katrina obviously overheard me as she turned to see me looking at her.

  “We’re friends now, remember,” Em told me.

  “No, we’re not,” Katrina replied. “We just don’t hate each other anymore. Apparently your wife has a bit of a guilt complex about how things went down between us and making me shop for sex toys and drink wine with her is going to make us BFFs,” she told me sarcastically.

  “Making you?” I asked her.

  “Have you ever said no to your wife when she’s made up her mind about something? She’s being nice to me now, and it’s even more fucking annoying than when she hated me,” Katrina said grumpily. Em turned to me with a grin, and I knew Katrina had a point. My girl had a real bee in her bonnet about her relationship with this chick. She wanted to make things right between them, and she was more stubborn than I was when she got it in her head to do something.

  “Well, have fun,” I told them all and bent to kiss Sunshine on the lips.

  “Especially you,” I whispered.

  Turning to leave, I bumped Kieran to get his attention but what I found made me pause. His eyes followed Marie, who’d gone back into the fray, and I realized that I’d seen the look on his face in the mirror over a year ago. Kieran Doherty, joker, pussy magnet, corner man, and friend, had found his girl.

  Chapter 14

  For the first three days of Frank’s trial, it rained endlessly. It was winter in London so it rained pretty much every day. Those three days were different though. The black clouds were foreboding, like the bad weather was an omen for things to come. I was dog tired from training and worried sick the whole time about what was happening in that courtroom. The more of each day that passed, the worse I trained. My feet were slow and sluggish on the bounce, and my punches were hitting the mark but that was probably the best you could say about them.

  “What the fuck, Con,” Danny said, throwing the towel into the ring. Kieran and I had been trading punches for an hour. He might as well have been trading fists with Danny for all the fucking good it was doing. The wall that I usually hit around four had struck me the minute I left Em this morning. She was facing Frank without me. The hustle and bustle of the gym, that felt so much like home, was gone because everyone else was either at work or with my girl. Until this trial was over and Frank was behind bars, my Sunshine was gone. Without Em by my side, nothing made sense. Not even in the ring.

  “Jesus Christ, Cormac. In weeks, you’re fighting the goddamn world champion, and you’re not ready. You’re nowhere near ready because you can’t get your head on straight.”

  “And you can?” I shouted at him. Kieran walked away and left us to it. I never raised my voice at Danny, no one did. But he needed to hear this. “I know this fight is important, and I know it’s what Em wants. Shit, it’s what I want too. But I feel like we’re throwing her to the fucking wolves not being there.”

  “I understand that. I really do. But you get a once-in-a-lifetime chance. It may never come around again, and if it does, who’s to say if it’s gonna be any good for you. In three or four years, you could be injured, maybe even retired. You’re in peak physical condition now, and if you don’t take this opportunity, there are plenty more who will. Men with fire in their heart and hunger in their gut who’d kill just for the opportunity to get toe to toe with Temple. Men who’d sacrifice anything to get that one chance that you’re pissing away.”

  “Then maybe I ain’t meant to be world champion. Because it doesn’t mean the whole fucking world to me. I want that title so bad I can taste it, but what fucking good is it to me? What kind of man am I to be chasing my dream instead of protecting my wife? What kind of man has titles but can’t protect his own family?” All of a sudden, the fight just seemed to leave Danny. He sat down on the old wooden stool by the side of the ring, and I slumped down on the floor next to him.

  “You know, son, sometimes there ain’t no right and wrong choice to make. Life ain’t black and white. Sometimes there’s just shitty choices, and you have to make the best of them.”

  “Danny, I ain’t never had anything except shitty choices until Em came along. She went through worse shit than I ever did, and she came out of it pure and loving and kind. But now she can’t see any of that. It doesn’t matter what she says to my face. I know she’s in a bad fucking place right now, and I can’t help feeling that this choice is the worse one.”

  “So you tell me, kid, what d’you wanna do?”

  “Keep her here with me so she never has to see that fucker again, win the world title, then accidentally bump into Frank in a dark alley where I can introduce all of his vital organs to my fist.”

  “Shit, you really do have a big Christmas list, don’t you?” said Danny as he lit up a cigarette.

  “I may be able to help with the keeping Em here part,” added Kieran as he jogged over.

  “What do you mean?” I asked him.

  “Liam just called. Something big went down in court today. They cleared out the jury and then adjourned because some kind of mini evidence trial is going on tomorrow and needed to be settled. The lawyers were arguing about whether or not stuff was admissible. The Crown Prosecution Service barrister told Em she wouldn’t be needed tomorrow but she has to be back the day after. Liam’s gonna go there anyway and find out what’s happening.”

  “We bring her here tomorrow then. If she’s not in court, I want her with me all day.”

  Danny nodded. “I agree. I don’t want her on her own but I need a full day’s training from you tomorrow. This trial shit’s like a fucking circus. You need to get focused.”

  “No problem, Danny. I understand,” I told him. With Em here, tomorrow everything would be better. But I didn’t like the sound of what was going down in court. Those black clouds were definitely rolling in.

  Two hours later, Liam walked in through the door, and I looked straight past him
.

  “Well, hello to you too!” he said to me.

  “Where’s Em? I thought you were taking care of her today?” I barked at him. I didn’t mean to get shitty. It’d been a rough day all around.

  “She’s fine. Her mum was waiting outside the courtroom for her. They’ve gone for a coffee.”

  “You let that bitch get near her?” I said. “You know what she’s capable of.”

  “Con, this woman is fucking tiny. There’s no way she could hurt her if she tried.”

  “It’s not the physical abuse I’m worried about. This woman was the reason Em endured abuse for six years without telling anyone. I don’t even want to know what kind of shit she’s filling Em’s head with.”

  “Shit, I’m so sorry.”

  “No, I’m sorry. Looking after her is my job. You’re helping me out. I shouldn’t get up in your face about it.”

  “Looking after her isn’t a job. She’s like our sister, and there ain’t nothing we wouldn’t do for her. Keeping her safe ain’t solely on you. Con. It never has been.” I acknowledged him with a nod. He and the guys all felt the same way, and I knew that. It still didn’t stop me feeling the way I did though.

  “Come on,” he told me.

  “You can spar with me for an hour until she gets here. That should keep your mind off things for a bit.” I snorted at him. In good form, I could put Liam down inside of two rounds. Like this, he’d probably put me on my arse in one. Still, good as his word, he changed quickly and climbed into the ring.

  “Danny says you’re fighting like shit. He’s wrong is he?” he taunted me.

  “Fuck you. You’d be the same if it was your girl.” He looked at me funny until I got it.

  “Fine. If it was your guy.” I looked around as we bounced about the canvas but no one was listening to us.

  “You told anyone else yet?” I asked.

  “No,” he replied.

  “The guy I’m seeing hasn’t really come to terms with everything yet. I mean it’s pretty new for both of us. We’re both gonna face a boatload of grief when people do find out. Guess we just want to see where this is going before we have to face that.”