Wings and Beyond

by Joy Redmond

  Iris was at the sink peeling potatoes, but Mandy knew she was listening to her end of the conversation. She covered the mouth piece again and said, “Mother, Shelly said if I come to the cookout that she and her mother will go to night service at church, and I can ride with them.”

  Iris smiled. “Well, I’m glad to know they’ll be attending night service. Maybe you’re a good influence on them. Tell her I’m happy to hear that and you can ride with them.”

  Mandy couldn’t believe her ears. She’s actually going to let me attend a cookout and ride to church with them. “Yes, Shelly. Mother said that sounds good. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Mandy woke up Sunday morning full of excitement. She was going to a cookout, and she figured they would probably have hot dogs and potato chips and maybe soda. And she was going to be with her best friend in the whole world. Someone she could talk to, tell secrets to and not be worried if Iris or Otis found out. She felt such sisterly love for Shelly that her heart wanted to burst into song.

  Mandy thought the morning church service would never end. She squirmed and reached over a couple times and squeezed Shelly’s hand, excitement running through her body.

  When church was over, Shelly said, “See you in a bit. This is gonna be fun.”

  “See ya,” Mandy answered, and went to the car where Otis and Iris were waiting. When they got home, Mandy jumped out of the car and ran for the house but she made herself walk up the stairs, lest Iris should get mad and not let her go to the cookout. Once in her room she took off her Sunday clothes and her hands trembled as she pulled on a pair of jeans, then slipped on her penny loafers. She wanted to pull the barrettes out of her hair, but thought better of it.

  Iris was coming out of her and Otis’ bedroom when Mandy came downstairs. “What do you think you’re doing with a pair of jeans on?” Iris said in a screech that sent chills through Mandy.

  “I’m going to a cookout. All the girls will have on jeans or shorts.”

  “Well, young lady, you’re not one of the girls. You’ll put on a skirt and blouse. If you want to argue, then you’ll be staying home.” Iris’s tic was back and her mouth turned downward.

  “Fine!” Mandy answered as she stomped back upstairs.

  “You better stop that stomping young lady if you know what is good for you!”

  We’ll be the laughing stock of the party, Nikko said, But what else is new?

  “At least we’re getting to go somewhere,” Mandy mumbled.

  Iris drove Mandy down to Shelly’s house. She got out of the car and looked the other kids over as if she was doing an inspection, making sure the crowd was good enough for Mandy to be in their company.

  Mandy was embarrassed to tears. Please, Mother, don’t say anything, she silently begged. Mandy could see the look of disgust in Iris’ eyes as she gave the girls who were wearing shorts a harsh glare, as if she were silently calling them tramps.

  Shelly’s mother thanked Iris for bringing Mandy, then Iris got back into her car and left.

  Shelly took Amanda’s hand. “Come on over to the big tub. It’s full of iced Cokes.”

  “Oh, I love Coke. I’m only allowed to have one a week, but what Mother doesn’t know, won’t hurt her— or me,” Mandy said with a slight laugh.

  “Why do you have on a skirt and blouse?” Shelly whispered.

  “Er—because I’m going to ride to church with you and I have to be dressed properly.”

  “You could have brought that outfit and changed before we go to church. Ah, man, you’re weird.”

  Mandy felt her face redden as she picked up a bottle of Coke. She stuck the bottle neck under the handle on the tub and popped off the cap. She headed over to where the other kids were talking with each other. You can take over, Nikko. Be your bubbly self and keep them laughing. Entertain them, just like Daddy always did when he had an audience.

  Nikko’s personality emerged and she did entertain the crowd and had them all laughing for the rest of the day. At 6 o’clock, Shelly announced, “Roy Rogers and Dale Evans are on. Come on in the house.”

  Mandy was so engrossed in watching TV she was lost in her own world. She watched a team work together; husband and wife, as they battled the bad guys and won. Inwardly she craved to have her Mama and Daddy back and for them to be a couple like Roy and Dale.

  When the show was over, Roy and Dale sang, Happy Trails To You. Mandy thought it was the prettiest duet she’d ever heard and wanted those happy trails and thought maybe, just maybe, they were singing to her.

  Shelly’s mother said, “We’ve got to head out for church. I’m glad all you kids came, and please come back anytime you can. We love company.”

  Mandy looked at the clock. Holy Moly! I’m going to be late, she thought, and broke out in a cold sweat. Her insides were quivering as she rode in the car and she kept fidgeting with her dress.

  Shelly’s mother pulled the car into the church parking lot and Mandy saw Iris standing on the stoop, her arms folded across her chest. Mandy tried to swallow but there didn’t seem to be any saliva in her mouth.

  She got out of the car and walked toward Iris. “Young lady, you’re late!”

  She could see the tic in Iris’s eye and her heart did a flip in her chest, her breathing became more difficult. Where was Nikko when she needed her?

  As she stood on the bottom step and looked up at Iris, Shelly and her mother sidestepped them and went inside, never looking at either of them. Mandy was mortified.

  “I’m sorry, Mother. We were watching Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, and we lost track of time. But church doesn’t start for another ten minutes.”

  “Church service starts in ten minutes,” her left foot started to tap the step, “but you were supposed to be here for MYF. That’s the last time that you’ll ever go to a cookout or anything else. You know you’re not to watch TV. You disobeyed, again. I can’t trust you out of my sight!” Iris grabbed Mandy’s arm. “Come on, we’ll finish this discussion when we get home. You’ll sit between your father and me. If you dare squirm while the service is going on, you’ll be sorry. After church, I’ll speak my piece to Shelly’s mother too. She promised to have you to church on time.”

  Mandy spoke through gritted teeth. “You said church, Mother. We’re on time for church. You didn’t mention MYF.”

  “Methodist Youth Fellowship is as important as church, and you knew to be here. And don’t you dare talk back to me!”

  After church service, Mandy looked around, trying to find Shelly. She had seen Shelly and her mother sitting in the back pew when she and Iris came into the church. Shelly turned and looked at Mandy just as she went out the door. Mandy waved. Shelly didn’t wave back. Tears stung Mandy’s eyes.

  “I just lost my best friend,” she whispered, and Nikko fumed.

  “Just go get in the car. Your father will have plenty to say to you when we get home. He’s furious!” Iris said.

  Mandy glanced at Otis and saw his face was stone; no emotion, no smile or nod. She’d never seen this look on his face. Her stomach tied in knots.

  The ride home was silent, and the air charged with unspoken anger. When Otis pulled the car into the garage, Mandy waited for Otis and Iris to get out of the car before she got out. They were headed up the steps to the back door before she came out of the garage. Dear God, why don’t you throw a lightning bolt and strike me dead? She silently begged. I’d welcome death, right now.

  When she walked into the house, Otis was standing in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, his large frame blocking her way. He was rather short, under five foot seven, but he made up for it in girth and his arms were heavy. Mandy remembered how she once saw him lifting and throwing hay bundles on the back of the truck. He threw them as if they weighed nothing, the muscles under his shirt bulging. He stood with his powerful legs apart, and with no neck, he reminded her of an enraged bull.

  “Amanda, this is the second time you’ve disobeyed us. We won’t stand for it! You go to your room and
you’re grounded until I decided you can be trusted. If there is ever a time when we can trust you, and I seriously doubt it.” He was so mad, small drops of spittle ran down one of the corners of his mouth.

  Mandy saw his fists balled up and thought he would like nothing better than to hit her as she headed for the staircase. She took one step, and Nikko came rushing to Mandy’s aid. She whirled around and glared at Otis. “Grounded? From what? I’m not allowed to go anywhere or do anything. If you want to ground me from being your farmhand, your plow mule, from being a yard girl and housemaid and from going to church three times a week, then I’ll gladly take the grounding!” She glared at Otis with all the hatred she possessed in her young soul.

  Otis’s face turned as red as an overheated stovepipe. “Iris, get me the butter paddle. I’m going to turn her across my knees. She won’t use that smart mouth when I’m done blistering her behind!”

  Mandy walked down the steps and came over to Otis where she crossed her arms across her chest and glared at him, her eyes daring him.

  Otis lunged for Mandy, his large hands ready to take her by her throat, but Iris quickly jumped between them. “Otis, please! Don’t hurt her. I’ll paddle her and put her in her room until you say she can come out. Please!” Iris broke down in tears.

  Otis stomped across the floor and headed to the back porch, slamming the door as he left.

  “Amanda, you stand right where you are.” Iris went into the kitchen and came back with the butter paddle. “Turn around!” Iris gave Mandy three whacks across her behind. “That’s for not minding.” She gave her three more whacks. “That’s for sassing your father,” Mandy heard Iris sniffle, and she wondered if she were going to get the speech, ‘This hurts me worse than it does you’.

  “Now, go upstairs. Let me get your father calmed down. I don’t want him to spank you. He’ll beat you black and blue, but if you ever talk to him that way again, I’ll turn him loose on you. You won’t be able to walk the next day. You’ve pushed him too far.” Iris wiped tears with the back of her hand, closed her eyes and folded her hands. “Lord, please help us with this child. I’m not sure we’ll survive her.”

  Mandy headed upstairs, holding her hand over her mouth to drown the snicker that was unstoppable. Do you really think the spankings are going to make me crumble? All they do is make me hate you more. Nikko will never conform. She sure took up for me tonight. The look on Otis’s face was priceless.

  Her room seemed to be a hundred miles away as she walked down the hall. As she reached around the doorframe to turn on the ceiling light, the desk lamp came on. She shut the door and walked over to the desk.

  “Evan, is that you? You can play with the lamp and you can turn it on when it’s dark. But don’t turn it on in the daytime. I’ll get fussed at for wasting electricity.” As she walked over to the vanity, she could have sworn she heard a child-like giggle.

  She stood in front of the vanity mirror. “Well, Nikko, I don’t know if I want to thank you or be mad at you,” she whispered. “You sure let Otis have it. And I’ll admit it felt good, but lordy, I have no idea what he’ll do to me. You know he has a temper like a wildcat.” She snorted. “They survive me? How will I ever survive them?”

  Nikko smiled.

  Mandy turned and looked at her neatly made bed. She eyed the pretty bedspread for a minute and got the most wonderful urge to play, to be a kid and have fun and to forget, even for one second what had taken place downstairs. She snickered as she took off running and jumped into the middle of the bed, dirty shoes and all. She jumped up and down as if she were on a trampoline and it felt so good to be free, to be like a butterfly and flutter all she wanted. Then she flopped down, flat on her back and began rolling back and forth. She twisted and turned her body in all directions as she pulled and kicked, until the bedspread was twisted in knots.

  She lay for a long moment glorying in the feeling of contentment but then got off the bed, untangled the bedspread and neatly folded it at the foot and turned back the blanket and sheet. Damn, that felt good. Nikko whispered. Why don’t we undress and sleep naked?

  Mandy started giggling and couldn’t stop until she felt tears rolling down her face. “Nikko, please behave. I’ve got to be Mandy and dress properly for bed.”

  She undressed, hung her skirt and blouse in the closet and placed her loafers neatly beside her other two pair of shoes on the closet floor. She took her nightgown out of the chest and pulled it over her head and turned off the lamp. Tears were still rolling as she lay down and pulled the sheet over her. She wiped her tears on the sheet hem.

  Nikko whispered, Blow your nose on the sheet!

  That thought made Mandy laugh. But she was so embarrassed, she wondered if she’d ever be able to face Shelly again. Her heart was on fire, blazing with pain and she wondered if the pain would kill her and she hoped it would. Her best friend was gone forever. Life just wasn’t worth living as far as she was concerned.

  The next morning at breakfast, they were all silent, but Otis kept sneaking dirty looks at her, and making a grunting sound in his throat. Mandy thought he sounded like one of the pigs in the back field and suppressed a giggle.

  She watched them under lowered eyelids, and studied them to see if they were human or not. She thought over what had taken place at church with Iris on the top step and then Otis wanting to beat her last night. She remembered Iris crying when she hit her, but it didn’t stop the plump woman from using the paddle.

  For the rest of the summer, Mandy worked, attended church, practiced her music, and wrapped herself tightly inside her head. Shelly ignored her when they were in Sunday school class, and didn’t sit beside her during church service. Mandy’s heart was shattered.

  One Sunday, Mandy reached for Shelly’s hand as they were leaving Sunday school class. “Shelly, why are you treating me like I’m an alien? I haven’t done anything to you.”

  Shelly glared for a moment, her bright blue eyes staring at her, then she answered, “Because my mama said we can’t be friends anymore. Your mother called her and told her she was an unfit parent because she let us watch TV and we were late for church. Mama hung up on her, but she said she had a notion to come up to your house and punch your mother in the nose!”

  Mandy’s jaw dropped. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry. I—”

  Shelly interrupted. “I’ll have you know that my mama is the best mama in the whole world, and she said that your mother is crazy!”

  “I think your mama is the best, too. I wish she was my mama, but I’m stuck with Iris. And believe me, she is an alien. And I’m alienated from the rest of the world.”

  Shelly patted Mandy’s hand. “Mama said she was sorry that we can’t be friends because she likes you, but she said she wasn’t ever going to give your mother a chance to call and scold her like she’s a child. So, I have to stay away from you. And I’ll tell ya something else. The rest of the kids who were at the cookout said they think that you’re funny at times, but you switch personalities so fast, they think you’re just plain crazy. That’s why they stay away from you, too.”

  Mandy’s heart came close to stopping, her emotions in a whirlwind. “I’m sorry that Mother called and said those things to your mama. She embarrasses me so badly that sometimes I just wish the earth would open up and swallow me whole.”

  “I’m sorry we can’t be friends. I’m sorry you have a crazy mother. I’m sorry that you have to be two people. Maybe this fall when you’re in high school, you can make new friends. Just don’t ever let them be around your mother. Is Mr. Hodge as crazy as she is?”

  “Oh, yeah. He backs up everything that Mother says and does. And he’s got a temper like nobody’s business. I never know when he’s going to fly off the handle. I stay a nervous wreck. Thank you for telling me why.” She fought tears as she said, “I kinda knew why. I just wanted you to confirm it. Don’t worry, I won’t bother you again.”

  Shelly walked away as if she wanted to get away from something that stunk.
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  Mandy wanted to go numb, but hatred reared its head as if were a snake and invaded her very soul.

  Chapter Seven

  Excitement filled Mandy as she boarded the yellow school bus in September. She could hardly believe she was in high school, and it was going to be a new beginning in many ways. She could feel that Nikko was as excited as she was.

  They were both overjoyed to be in high school since their brother Don would be attending the same school. Mandy’s heart filled with love and her oval face was all smiles and her green eyes with touches of gold were flashing and alive. She took a deep breath and spring air filled her lungs, and the smell of freshly mowed grass invaded her very being. Today was a perfect day, a day made for memories and love and getting together. Today she would get to spend time with her brother.

  Don was two years ahead of her, but she would cherish the years they’d be together. She still cherished the once a month visit with Don and Lee, and was always amazed at how much they seemed to have grown in that month. Don was already towering over her and she had to look upward into his face that was so much like Daddy’s that her heart squeezed.

  Nikko came unbidden and whispered that it wasn’t enough time for them, and it was so unfair to Mandy. Nikko intoned she knew that Mandy wanted them all to be together as a family, though she knew it would never happen. Mandy shoved Nikko into the back of her mind, she was too happy to listen to her.

  Mandy knew Don had already gone to live with another couple, but he lived only a few blocks from the school, which meant that maybe she would be allowed to walk home with him a few times in the afternoons. And it would take a miracle for her parents to give her permission to spend the night with Don, but she had hope.

  High school also meant that she’d have a chance to meet and make new friends. But how long would she keep them? Would she be allowed to go to parties? Would Iris allow her to attend sleepovers at a girlfriend’s house? She knew she wasn’t allowed to date until she was sixteen, but that was no big deal. She just wanted to have girlfriends and be accepted.