by Joy Redmond
“Yeah, they’re nice. I just don’t like sweaters,” he said as he tossed it to the side.
“I can take it back,” Mandy said, feeling her eyes sting, and Nikko stirring.
“No you won’t!” Pearl said sternly. “Jack, you will wear the sweater, and dress decent for a change. You’d wear the same outfit for a week if I didn’t make you change.”
Mandy felt her head spin. His mother still takes care of him as if he is a two-year-old. Again, Mandy felt herself floating away. She didn’t try to stop herself. She knew she would be on what she called automatic pilot, she’d say and do all the right things. She always did. And most of it she wouldn’t remember.
Everybody was admiring their presents and Pearl was picking up torn wrapping paper, when Jack took Mandy’s hand and said, “We have another present out in the trailer. Come on.”
Methodically, Mandy followed Jack through the house, across the back yard, and into the trailer. Jack flipped on the light. “It’s back here,” he said, as he led her toward the bedroom. “Look. Mama bought us a new bedspread and curtains.”
Mandy approached the bed, trying to keep back the memory of last time and rubbed her hand across the pink chenille spread, and said, “It’s pretty, and—”
Before she finished her sentence, Jack yanked the spread back, picked Mandy up and threw her into the middle of the bed. “This is what’s pretty,” he said, as he began to take her clothes off.
Mandy didn’t protest but her mind was screaming at the injustice of what he was about to do to her. She knew she had to get used to it because soon it would happen every night. She went numb, knowing what was coming. She sent her mind drifting across the universe until it found a safe place to stay.
She saw a mist, and again, a newborn baby, but this time the infant turned her head and seemed to gaze at her. Large innocent eyes looked into hers and suddenly a wide toothless smile spread sunshine across the fog and it cleared away. Mandy let her mind dwell on the vision as Jack humped and pumped and blew his rancid breath in her face. She was only there in body, but her mind and heart were being held captive by a tiny, little girl.
Chapter Seventeen
Mandy and Jack went back inside the Walkers’ house, and as Jack whistled a Christmas tune, Mandy walked as if she were in a dream. She was having a difficult time returning to reality, to the present and to what had happened in the trailer. She thought she could smell his sweat on her and she felt sick at her stomach. Well, Jack, I guess you got the present you wanted after all. She wanted to shout at Pearl what her precious little boy had done to her, but she kept quiet, her mind in turmoil.
As they came through the back door, Pearl said, “I’m cutting the fruitcake. Have a seat at the table with the rest of the family and I’ll bring it in shortly.”
Jack seemed to strut like a peacock as he headed for the dining room. Mandy followed meekly as she slowly came back to reality. Pearl brought in plates that were piled with fruitcake and set them in front of everybody. Then she took her seat in what Mandy called the queen’s chair.
“Eat up,” Pearl said. “I don’t want to see a crumb left.”
Mandy stared at the plate. I hate fruitcake, and even if I liked it, there’s no way I can eat all of this. I’m still stuffed from the big meal. As everybody ate she scanned the Walker clan. How I misjudged this family. Pearl sits at the head of the table because she’s the head cheese and all the rest are her little mice. Lester never says a word. The kids just laugh and go along with whatever she says and does. Jack is a dumbass puppet. I’m probably the only girl that he’s had more than one date with, and I understand why. Pearl was thrilled when she thought Jack finally had a girl that would stay with him. She just wants me in the family so she’ll have another mouse in her trap. And trapped I am.
“So, Mandy, how’s the wedding plans coming along? Have you set a date? Since I’m being left out of everything, I’d kind of like to know when I’ll have a daughter-in-law,” Pearl said.
“Mother is taking care of everything. We have a tentative date set for December thirtieth. The wedding will take place where we go to church in Cross Pointe. I’m not sure of the time. Mother hasn’t finalized things.”
“Well, alright! The big day is just six days away. Well, I asked if your parents would like to come for a pre-wedding dinner, but you haven’t mentioned it. Are they going to come? If so, when?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you that Mother said they wouldn’t have time to come for a dinner. She said there’s too many other things to get ready for. I didn’t give her much notice.”
Nikko laughed. You’re just digging a deeper grave. How are you going to explain all these lies when it doesn’t happen?
Mandy twisted the paper napkin into shreds. I don’t know, Nikko. I just said the first thing that came to mind. When we get home you’ve got to speak up and tell Mother and Dad what we’re going to do, with or without their help or approval. We’ve got to get married. In another week, we’ll be one month pregnant.
Pearl furrowed her brow. “Since I won’t be fixing a dinner or meeting your parents, and I’ll have no say so in the wedding, I’ll just decorate the trailer. I was thinking that I’ll put an end table and lamp beside the couch if I can squeeze one in. And I’ll go shopping and get things for the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen. I’ll have it fixed up and it’ll be perfect. And speaking of bedroom, you didn’t say a word about the bedspread and curtains.” Pearl put a piece of cake into her mouth and looked at the ceiling.
Mandy saw her look up at the ceiling and in an instant, she knew that Pearl knew what had happened at the trailer, and anger raised its ugly head inside of her, but she forced it back and kept her voice smooth and calm.
“The bedspread and curtains are very pretty. Thank you,” Mandy managed to say, hoping she could eat the cake without choking.
“You’re welcome,” Pearl said, but her tone didn’t sound pleased. Then Pearl looked at Lester. “We need to buy them some tickets for the Grand Ole Opry. That’ll be a great place for them to go on their honeymoon.”
“That’s fine, Pearl. The Grand Ole Opry is a fun place,” Lester said.
Mandy looked at Lester and for the first time she noticed small sharp lines around his mouth and eyes and he looked older than he had before. She shook her head and looked at him again, but in an instant she saw him years in the future until he was just a withered old man. He was still sitting on the sofa when he took his last breath.
Mandy stared in horror at Pearl, and knew she was sucking the life out of them. Now you’re planning our honeymoon? Well, since you selected the trailer, bought it, parked it and hooked it up, I guess you can decorate it. I really don’t give two hoots in hell.
After they had eaten the cake, Pearl announced it was time to play cards and listen to Christmas music. Lester and the others followed her into the living room. Mandy followed, feeling like a rat behind the Pied Piper.
Once in the living room, Mandy said, “I’m sorry I won’t be able to stay and play cards. Mother and Dad want me to come home so we can have our Christmas Eve. I told them I’d be back by eight o’clock. I’ve just got time to make it back before they start to worry. I’ll get my coat.” She headed to Pearl and Lester’s bedroom where Pearl had laid her coat on their bed. She slipped it on, her throat constricting so tightly, she wondered if she would be able to swallow.
She walked back into the living room. Allison, Al, and Andy were sitting on the floor watching It’s A Wonderful Life on TV. Lester just sat in the corner of the couch, his usual spot, and kept his hands folded in his lap. Jack was pacing the floor, a wad of gum in his mouth and his jaws in fast motion.
You look like a piranha, she thought, and wondered if she could stand him chomping while he drove her home. How was she going to stand living with him if she got sick to her stomach just looking at him for a short time?
Pearl picked up the presents on the far end of the couch and handed them to Mandy. “I’m sor
ry you have to leave so early. But it won’t be long before you won’t have to leave. You’ll belong to us in another six days. When are you going to apply for a marriage license?”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot,” Mandy said as she turned toward Jack. “The day after Christmas, we need to go to the lab and get our blood work done. I’ve already called Dr. Ford and he said the order would be there. Then we’ll go to court house and fill out the application.
I won’t belong to you or Jack or anybody. I’m not property, Nikko cried.
“I probably won’t see you again until the wedding. I’ve got a lot to do.”
“Well, Jack, I’ll go shopping tomorrow and buy you a nice suit,” Pearl said.
“Fine, Mama,” he said as she shoved another piece of gum into his mouth. “Get what you want me to have. I guess Mandy will give us a time when her parents give her permission. I know where the church is. And you don’t need to be concerned about meeting them. They’re some strange people, I tell ya.” He looked at Mandy, “Come on, if you have to go.” Jack headed for the door in front of Mandy, not offering to take some of the presents from her arms.
Nobody said goodbye as they went out the door. I guess I did a good job of pissing off the whole family. I seem to be good at that, Mandy thought, and her eyes stung, but Nikko was pleased.
Jack walked to the car, opened the door on the driver’s side and slid under the steering wheel. Mandy braced the four boxes of presents against the car and managed to open the back door and laid the presents in the back seat. She slammed the door so hard the car rocked, opened the passenger door and slid into the seat. “Nah, I didn’t need any help, but thanks!” she said, and she wanted to slap the gum out of Jacks mouth. What an ass!
She seethed all the way back home and Jack continued to smack and pop the gum. Oh Lord, I want to reach into his mouth, pull that gum out and smear it across his face. He may be nice looking on the outside, but inside, he’s ugly and mean and he has a black soul.
They pulled into the driveway and Mandy said, “Don’t bother to get out. I don’t need any help.” She opened the door, slammed it, then opened the back door, picked up the four boxes and slammed the back door.
Just as she walked around the car and headed toward the house, Jack stepped out of the car and said, “Well, don’t I get a goodnight kiss?”
“You had your kiss earlier, remember? That’s enough for one night.” She hurried on her way. He’s so disgusting with his mouth working like a cow chewing on a cud.
Jack ran to her, grabbed her arm and swung her around. “What has gotten into you? Just for a little bit, I’d tell you to go to hell and there wouldn’t be a wedding. You just don’t know your place, do you?” His eyes bored into her and spittle fell on her as he talked.
Mandy jerked her arm away and Nikko jumped out. “My place? My place is where and how I choose it. But if you want to tell Pearl to sell the trailer, don’t buy the tickets for the honeymoon, and cancel her shopping spree tomorrow to buy you a suit, then fine with me. The wedding is off!” Mandy stomped her foot and the presents wiggled in her arms.
Jack seemed to turn pale under the moonlight. “Are you crazy? Mama would have my head!”
“That’s what I thought. In that case—see ya the day after tomorrow at the lab. I’ll meet you there at ten o’clock. And the wedding will be at six o’clock. I just set the time.”
Jack grabbed her arm again. “Wait just a minute! What did you just call my mama?” he asked as if his mind had done an instant replay. Mandy could see fire in his eyes.
“I called her Pearl. That’s her name.”
“You better never call her by her first name to her face. You’ll call her Mrs. Walker and show a little respect or you’ll—”
“I’ll what?” Mandy said in a defying voice.
Jack gave her a sneer. “You’ll find out. See ya at the lab and then on to the court house!” He turned and headed for the car, and Mandy heard him snicker.
She hurried up the front porch steps and gently tapped on the door with her foot. A feeling of being safe came over her.
Iris was at the door and had it opened before Mandy had her foot back on the top step. “Well, it looks like you have your hands full. Here, let me help you. You sure made a haul.”
Otis came over to Iris and took the boxes from her arms and placed them on the coffee table. “Do you want to share with us? We’d like to see what you got. The Walkers sure went all out. I guess they think they have to outdo us.” Otis’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.
“What did you expect, Otis?” Iris said with contempt. “And she’ll rub it in our faces about how wonderful those people are, as if we’re not good enough for her!”
Did you hear that, Nikko? I’m sick of it. You take over.
Mandy took off her coat and threw it on the couch. Then she held out her left hand. “Well, here’s the biggest and best present. Doesn’t it sparkle? Doesn’t it look great on my ring finger?” She stretched her arm out as far as she could, wanting to stick the ring straight up their noses.
The ring seemed to grow larger as she passed her hand from Iris to Otis and back again, and for a small item it weighed heavy on her finger.
Iris gasped. “Just what does that ring mean?”
“It means that I’m engaged and I’m getting married. What does a diamond ring usually mean?”
“Young lady, you’ll give that ring back and you won’t be seeing Jack ever again.”
“No, I won’t be giving the ring back. And I’m getting married next week. As a matter of fact, I’m getting married December thirtieth. We’ll get a Justice of the Peace to marry us. You two won’t ever have to be embarrassed, humiliated, or disgraced by me ever again.”
“You’ve got that right!” Otis said. “You go right on and get married. You’ve rebelled against us from day one. You’ve broken every rule. You’ve broken your mother’s heart over and over. And you’ve sassed all you’re going to. You go with your new-found family and just forget us!” Otis marched out of the living room, into the bedroom and slammed the door.
Iris sat down on the couch, buried her face in her hands and cried like a newborn baby.
“I’m sorry, Mother. You heard what Dad said. Again, he’ll be glad when I’m out of his life, and the sooner the better.” Mandy felt so alone at the moment, and so alienated from Iris and Otis, and her heart was wounded. She was bruised inside, and she wondered if there would ever be a time in her life when she would know peace.
Iris raised her head, wiped her eyes, and blew her nose. “He didn’t mean it, Mandy. He’s just mad. You know he has a temper, and you back-talked him. You know better. He’s just mad, and—” Iris broke down and couldn’t continue.
“Well, Mother, I did mean it and I’m not mad. I’m sorry to upset you, but it seems like I manage to do that no matter what. It’s been like that from the beginning. I’m tired of trying to please you and Dad. It can’t be done.”
Mandy went to the bathroom, peed, and felt sick at her stomach. She splashed cold water on her face and waited a few minutes. The nausea faded, so she brushed her teeth. She looked into the medicine cabinet mirror. Well, Nikko, you did it. Now I have to break the news to Jack and Pearl, er, excuse us, that’s Mrs. Walker, that the wedding will be performed before a Justice of The Peace, and then come up with an excuse for the other lies I told.
Mandy came out of the bathroom, walked across the living room floor and saw that Iris was still sitting on the couch crying. Mandy didn’t say a word, she just headed upstairs. Her heart had frozen tight to keep her from being hurt anymore, and though she felt a small flicker of empathy for Iris, she shoved the feeling back into the deepest depths of her being.
Once in her bedroom, she undressed, slipped on her sweet smelling nightgown, turned out the light and slipped under the covers, feeling the chill from the cotton sheets. She blew a hard breath, not sure if she wanted to keep on breathing. She closed her eyes.
Suddenly, she felt a c
old wind blow across her body. She opened her eyes, blinked and stared at the corner to the right of the bed. Beautiful colors of sparkling shapes: circles, squares, triangles and hexagons were dancing up and down the wall. She didn’t hear a sound but the colors were beautiful and it reminded her of multi-colored lights on a Christmas tree, blinking off and on.
She sat up in bed and watched the display continue for several minutes. Then a mist fell around the shapes and the colors begin to dim. Then they disappeared.
What the heck was that all about? What are you trying to tell me? It was so beautiful. Whoever you are, thank you. I feel calm inside. I feel love. I feel content. I really needed those feelings, especially at this time in my retched life. Please come back.
Mandy blew a kiss in the darkness, then drifted into a deep, peaceful sleep.
Chapter Eighteen
The next morning, Mandy roused herself from sleep, her eyes heavy as she glanced at the clock. 7:45. She couldn’t believe it. She hadn’t slept that late since she had come to live with the Hodges, then she remembered for the past week she was sleepy all day, and she fought to keep herself awake.
She got out of bed and crept across the floor. She stared at her reflection in the vanity mirror. “Merry Christmas, Nikko. Does it feel like Christmas to you? It sure doesn’t to me. I can only imagine what kind of day it’s going to be. Probably snot and tears from Iris, and icy glares from Otis.”
You told me to take over last night. Today, you’re going to have to stand on your own. You’ve got to learn. But if you freeze, I’ll take the lead. It’s Christmas but I don’t think it’s going to be merry.
“I can’t believe Iris isn’t yelling for me. I hope she saved some breakfast. The nausea seems to be gone and I’m hungry. I’ll get dressed and then go face the music.”
It won’t be Christmas music, Nikko said, and Mandy watched a tear slide down her face.
Mandy put on a pair of jeans and a white sweater. She put on a pair of socks, then pulled on her new black boots. Let’s see if Iris will send me back upstairs and tell me to dress properly for Christmas Day.