by Joy Redmond
Mandy came downstairs and walked into the kitchen and stopped. To her surprise, Otis and Iris were sitting at the table and they weren’t dressed for church. The dishes had been cleared from the table, but she saw a pan sitting on the stove. She hoped it was Cream of Wheat. She hoped it hadn’t set up so hard that it would be like trying to spoon concrete.
Iris glanced up and wiped her tears. “Sit down, Mandy. This isn’t going to be a joyful Christmas, and this is the first Sunday that I’ll miss church in more than forty-years, but we need to have a talk. Your father and I haven’t slept a wink and you need to understand a few things.”
Mandy noticed how tired Iris looked in the morning light, and she felt a bit guilty. She had caused this unhappiness.
Mandy pulled out a chair. Be strong. Don’t cave. If you tell them that you’re pregnant, you know what they’ll do. Your only chance of being able to keep your baby is to get married.
Iris cleared her throat. “Mandy, we will not give you permission to get married. You’ll finish high school, then go to college as has been planned. You will give the ring back and you’ll stay away from Jack and his family. Our minds are made up. We’re not going to let you ruin your young life!”
Too late, Mother. My young life has already been ruined. How I wish I could undo it, but I can’t and neither can you or Dad.
“Did you understand your Mother?” Otis asked, his voice stern, his eyes narrowed as he stared at her.
“Yes, I did. So, here’s how it going to be. I’m eighteen. I don’t need your permission to get married. Tomorrow, Jack and I are getting our blood work done, then we’re going to apply for a marriage license. It only takes two days to get it. Then, we’ll get a Justice of the Peace to marry us this Friday. I’ve made my decision. Do you understand me?”
Otis jumped up so fast he knocked his chair backward and it crashed to the floor. “You’ve found you a new family. You go to them. And when things fall apart, don’t come crying to us. Once you walk out our door and get married, you won’t ever be coming back. You’re going to make your bed and you’ll be laying in it for the rest of your hardheaded life. We’re done! Now get out of my sight!”
Iris burst into tears.
Otis squared off, his body hard and rigid as he looked down at her seated at the table. His eyes full of fire and brimstone and his muscles tensed. Mandy thought he looked like a bulldog ready for a fight and he was waiting for her to sass him.
Mandy shot up and headed for the back door. She walked outside and couldn’t believe it was Christmas Day. Not only did the weather feel like an early fall, but the confrontation in the kitchen destroyed any chance of a happy Christmas. Her head and heart hurt, and she felt as if her entire body was going to explode from the unhappiness that covered her like a shroud. The coolness of the air helped her settle down.
“A perfect day for walking,” she said, and headed for the barnyard. She kept walking until she had crossed two fields that still had old corn stalks lying on the ground. Soon, she was off of the Hodge’s property. She kept walking until she came to a gravel road. “Nikko, I think this road leads to an old farm house. I remember passing it when I drove the truck filled with fertilizer, trying to get to the soybean field without having to drive through the corn field.”
She figured she’d walked about a mile when she saw the driveway that led to the old farmhouse. The house was old and half of the roof shingles were missing and some of the windows were cracked. The front steps sagged and the porch tilted at an odd angle. She tried to picture the house the way it used to be and the family who shared it, but all she could think about was that her and that house were very much like— sad and falling apart.
She started walking up the lane that was covered with what looked like new white rock. It made her wonder if somebody was planning on remodeling or razing the house. She stopped and picked up a rock and tossed it into the air, then watched it fall at her feet.
“Much prettier than pea gravel,” she said. She gazed at the beautiful blue sky. “Spirits, I hope you can hear me. You talk to me, so I need to talk to you.”
A slight breeze blew across her face, warm and invigorating, it engulfed her. A sweet smell encircled her senses. She took a deep breath and her lungs filled with it, her heart raced to the sweetness and her head cleared. “Yeah, you’re with me. You’re listening. I really need your help. Please show me something or send me thoughts as to what I’m supposed to say and do.” She closed her eyes and waited. No thoughts ran through her head. Nothing fell from the sky. No music played. No angels sang.
She opened her eyes at the sound of clucking and saw several chickens running around the old house. It was strange she hadn’t noticed them before. Suddenly, she felt drawn to the old house as if an invisible string was tied to her heart, and she knew the house was beckoning her to come inside. In a trance-like state, she started toward the run-down and broken steps but then a squirrel ran across her foot, and she was brought back to the moment.
She looked down at the small furry beastie. It had stopped and it was staring at her, its brown eyes stared into her eyes, then it winked. Or maybe it had an eye tic, much like Iris had.
“Well, hello there, Bushy Tail. Merry Christmas to you, too. Nice weather, huh? Are you telling me to go on up to the house? Maybe you just think I’m a nut. Well, that makes two of us.”
She watched Bushy Tail run across the dried grass and up a tree. “To tell you the truth, I’d rather live in the tree with you than have to live in a tin box with Jack.”
Just as she turned to walk back to the gravel road, she heard sweet laughter. She turned around and stared at the house. “Whoever is in there is sure having a good time. A house full of love and laughter. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. Maybe I’ll have it before I die. Or maybe I’ll have to die before I have it. I dunno.” She blew a weary sigh. “Merry Christmas, whoever you are,” she said, and waved toward the house. Then she waved at Bushy Tail.
She walked back home and couldn’t remember seeing a more beautiful blue sky with fluffy white clouds. The chilly morning had vanished and she had never experienced a Christmas being this warm. She was thankful for the fall-like weather. A white Christmas meant nothing to her. She hated snow. She hated winter. She hated the storm she knew was brewing and waiting for her when she got back home.
As she opened the back door, she sucked in a deep breath. I stood my ground, Nikko. I’ll keep standing it for the next five days. Then what? Lord, what kind of life is waiting for me? I know it’s wrong to be sorry about a pregnancy, because You chose me to be the mother of the child that I’m carrying. But why, oh why, did You choose Jack to be the daddy? Or did You? Maybe the devil jumped in and gave one of his demons permission to impregnate me. Is that possible? I swear, I don’t know what I believe anymore. I know what I’ve been taught, but I’m not sure that I buy it all. Too many things just don’t make sense.
She walked into the living room and Iris was sitting on the couch, pen and paper in hand. She was scribbling fast. She jumped when Mandy walked over and stood in front of her. “Oh, my!” she said as she grabbed her heart. “I didn’t hear you come in. Please sit down. I’ve got something I’d like to talk over with you. I’m begging you to hear me out.”
Mandy sat beside Iris. “I know you’re eighteen and you don’t have to have our permission to get married, but if you’ve made up your mind, then I want to sign the application for a marriage license. And, honey, though the law recognizes a marriage performed by a Justice of the Peace, God doesn’t. An ordained minister has to marry couples. That’s the Christian way. If you don’t marry in the church, I’ll be so humiliated I won’t be able to hold my head up in public. I won’t be able to look at anybody in the church congregation. That’s just more than I can bear.” Fresh tears welled as Iris tucked her head.
Nikko was talking inside Mandy’s head. How about all the embarrassment and humiliation you’ve caused us? We didn’t want to hold our heads up around our peers.
We’ve wanted to drop dead or have the earth open up and swallow us.
Mandy was trying to keep Nikko at bay. This wasn’t the time for her to come out, or cause more problems than she already had. Mandy could see that Iris was trying very hard to be civil.
Iris blew her nose and continued. “I’m making a list of people I need to call, things we need to do, places we need to go, so we can have a nice church wedding. Will you please get married in the church? If I can get all the arrangements made, and I think I can, your father said he would walk you down the aisle, and I want to see you in a white wedding gown.” Iris’s pleading red-rimmed eyes stared at Mandy.
“I have no problem with that, Mother. I didn’t think Dad would have anything to do with a wedding, but if he wants to walk me down the aisle, then that’s fine.”
Iris wiped her eyes. “Thank you, honey. Tomorrow I’ll call Dr. Ford and ask him to call in your blood work, then I want go to the court house with you. Then we’ll go shopping for a wedding gown, and a bridal bouquet. I just hope we can find a gown in your size. After we get the shopping done, I’ll start calling family and friends— though I think a phone invitation is rude and tacky, it’s the best I can do. I’ll talk to Pastor tonight at church and ask if he’ll be able to marry you this coming Friday.”
“That sounds fine with me. Would it be okay if I call Shelly and Patsy and ask them to be my maids of honor? I can’t choose just one, since they’re my only two friends.”
“Sure! I just hope they can find appropriate dresses with such short notice.” Iris paused and gave Mandy a querying look. “Where are you going to live? You don’t have any furniture or household supplies. Are you going to live with the Walkers?”
“Oh, I forgot. Er—Jack bought a furnished house trailer and it’s parked in the Walkers back yard. That way—”
Before Mandy could finish, Iris screeched like an owl, “A house trailer? Parked in the Walkers back yard? I’ve never heard of anything so ridiculous. That’s just plain white trash!” Iris’s voice rose to a pitch.
“Mother! Things were going well, so please don’t start with your labeling. It’s all we can afford to start off with. I’m sure we’ll get an apartment or maybe we’ll rent a house before long.”
“I just don’t know how much more my heart can stand. The Walkers are just taking over. I really don’t like those people. I—never mind. What’s done is done. I guess you’ll want to call your Randall family, too?
“Yes, I would. I’ll start calling them in a few minutes. And your signature on my license application is most welcomed. Thank you for not fighting with me anymore. It’ll be a nice wedding. One that will make you proud and you won’t be embarrassed in front of your friends and church people.”
And you won’t have to come up with an excuse for all the lies you’ve told. It’s the truth now. Everything you told the Walkers is going to happen as you said. How about that? Nikko said, and giggled.
Mandy smiled. The spirits heard me asking for help. They made all this happen. Do you think that was a real squirrel, or was it a spirit in the form of a squirrel?
I don’t have any idea, Nikko answered. But it sure was strange. What about the sweet laughter? Was it coming from the house, or was it the spirits laughing with joy because they were trying to tell you that everything was going to work out and they were with you?
What does it matter? Mandy answered.
Iris hugged Mandy, and Mandy hugged her back, and her heart was in the hug. “I really need something to eat,” Mandy said, “my stomach is growling.”
“I was about to head into the kitchen and fix some lunch. Otis will be in, in a few minutes. After we eat, we’d like for you to open your Christmas presents. I shopped carefully and bought what I thought would make you happy. Otis even has something special for you.”
“He does?” Mandy exclaimed.
“Yes, honey. Your father loves you. He just gets mad, loses his temper and says some harsh things, but he doesn’t want to lose his little girl. We had a long talk after you left the house. He’s cooled off and he wants to see the look on your face when you open the special present from him.”
Mandy felt her eyes sting. “I know, Mother. He can’t seem to control his temper, but I’m so happy to know that he’s going to be in a good mood when he comes in. After we eat and open presents, I guess I better start with the phone calls.”
“I’ll get my calls made tomorrow, either before or after we go shopping.” Iris continued to wipe tears that kept flowing as if her eyes were a fountain.
Otis came into the house and he seemed to be in a pensive mood—until he saw Mandy, then he smiled. They ate a quiet lunch, then went into the living room where Mandy sat beside the tree, reached for presents, opened them one by one and she couldn’t have been more surprised. Iris had bought her a white leather coat that she had been begging for. She also had boxes of pretty sweaters, skirts and skin care products. Then she opened the present from Otis. She gasped and her fingers trembled as she lifted a gold heart-shaped locket. “Oh, goodness! It’s so beautiful!”
Otis smiled from ear to ear. “Open the locket,” he said.
Mandy pushed the tiny button on the side of the locket. It opened, exposing two pictures. On the right side was a picture of Iris. On the left side was a picture of Otis.
“Those pictures were made on our wedding day. The locket isn’t new. I gave it to your mother for our first Christmas.”
Mandy was stunned beyond words. “I think it’s the most beautiful locket I’ve ever seen. Those are great pictures of you and Mother. I’ll wear it with pride.” She thought it was one of the best presents she had ever been given, and her heart melted just a tiny bit.
Otis took the locket from Mandy’s hand. “Here, let me put it on you. If my fingers aren’t too big to get the clasp opened.” Otis fumbled, but he managed to put the locket around Mandy’s neck. He stood back and his smile broadened. “It looks like it was made just for you.”
Mandy reached up and held the locket in her hand. She actually felt love coming from the pictures inside and warmth spread through her body. “I’ll always wear it. I’ll keep my parents close to my heart.” Her words shocked her. She actually meant them. Tears stung her eyes as she remembered the day she had pulled hair out of Mama’s hair brush, and Grandma had put it inside an old locket, telling Mandy she could have it when she had a permanent home. She drew her emotions in check. It had been a great Christmas, after all.
Jack called late that afternoon and asked if she could come and finish Christmas Day with his family. Mandy told him she was still having Christmas with her parents. “I’ll call you tomorrow and tell you what time to meet me at the lab. We have to get our blood work done. Then we’ll go to the court house. And I want to go to bed early. I’m already sleepy and I have to get up early in the morning. Are you going to be able to take time off from work to get all this done?”
“Sure. I’ve got the rest of the week off. My Christmas vacation. I’ve already told you.” He sounded exasperated and his patience was wearing thin.
I must have been in another world when you told me. I have no memory of it, she thought, but she said, “Oh, yeah. I forgot. There’s too much going on in my head right now.”
“I know what you mean. I’m getting the jitters. Mama is in a dither, but she said she’d buy my suit and for us to do what we need to get done. Just a few more days and you’ll be all mine. See you tomorrow. Love ya.
“Me, too,” Mandy said, and quickly hung up. We’ll never be all yours, Nikko hissed.
The next morning, Iris called Dr. Ford. He said he’d call in the lab work, and he’d get the results by Tuesday. Mandy called Jack and told him to meet her at the lab by 10:00, then they’d go to the court house.
Iris was by Mandy’s side when the blood work was done and Mandy was grateful. They went on to the court house and Iris’s hands trembled as she signed the papers, giving permission for a marriage license. It was all taken care of b
y 11:30. Jack went on his way, and Mandy and Iris went shopping.
Mandy was glad Iris didn’t start anything with Jack, though the looks she gave him could have burned a hole right through his head. Jack had glared back a few times, but Iris managed to out-stare him and he dropped his gaze. Mandy had held her breath the entire time they were there.
By Thursday, all the plans were finalized. Mandy had found a beautiful white wedding gown, and Iris had done the alterations. Shelly and Patsy had already bought their formals for prom night, and they were perfect for a wedding. Mandy had called her family. She had mailed Grandpa and Grandma a letter, and she wondered if they would come, and if they did, would they come in the wagon, pulled by two mules? That’ll be embarrassing, she thought.
Thursday night, Jack called and said that he and a couple friends were going to Louisville, Kentucky to have a bachelor party. Before he hung up, he said, “Mama bought me a nice suit and she’s got the trailer all fixed up. We’re ready to start housekeeping. Love ya.”
“Me, too.” Mandy said.
Time was speeding too fast, and Mandy couldn’t slow it down. She found it strange that she had a yearning to stay a while longer in the house, her home that she had known and had been a part of since a small child. She knew the memories of the farm would stay with her forever, and memories of the couple who had adopted her. The good. The bad. The ugly. It was all a part of the Master’s plan, she was sure. Warmth spread though her body.
Chapter Nineteen
Mandy could barely make it through a day without a nap. She felt as if she could and would have slept around the clock. Every night by 6 pm, she wanted to head upstairs and drop into bed and block the world out. Each time she crawled into bed, she listened for strange sounds, music, or the sight of dancing colors on the wall but there was nothing but void and quiet. Don’t leave me spirits. I need to feel your love. You always bring peace to my tormented soul.