Secret Fantasy

by Carly Phillips

  “Your ex-fiancé wanted what you could do for him and not you. I’d call that hurt.”

  “And you ought to know?” She deliberately pressed harder.

  “Something like that.”

  Accepting his vague answer for now, she stored further questions away for another time.

  He lifted her chin in his hand. “If I stay, we both know where this is headed.”

  She nodded, her heart filling with heated warmth.

  “But for your sake you need to be sure.”

  “I think I know what my body is telling me.” And right now it was screaming for his touch.

  He laughed but didn’t sound at all amused. “I want your mind to know it, too. And that takes time.”

  More like he needed time, Juliette thought. As difficult as it was, she heeded his boundaries but Juliette didn’t plan on leaving the island without breaking past his barriers and experiencing complete intimacy—his body, deep inside hers. She trembled at the thought of making love with Doug, knowing she’d never be the same afterward.

  He lifted the covers and tucked them around her, then leaned forward for another brief kiss. “Night.”

  She sighed. Knowing what was right and necessary didn’t make saying goodbye any easier.

  WHEN THE TELEPHONE rang, Juliette was in another world. Alone with Doug on a deserted island, surrounded by bright sun and tropical flowers with the softest petals—for which Doug found the most inventive, arousing uses. She didn’t want to be disturbed, but the persistent ringing wouldn’t abate.

  Reaching over, she grabbed the receiver. “Hello.” If she had to be awakened, she hoped it would be by Doug.

  “When I sent you on this trip I didn’t think you’d forget to check in. How are you?” Gillian’s concerned voice came through loud and clear.

  “There aren’t supposed to be phones in paradise,” Juliette wailed. But she couldn’t deny she was happy to hear from her sister even if the feminine voice wasn’t her first choice.

  She closed her eyes, but her dream slipped further and further from her grasp, replaced by reality: a too-cold room courtesy of the air conditioner, a too-cold bed thanks to Doug’s late-night departure and a humming, lingering emptiness because her dream had stopped short of satisfaction.

  “If you’re in paradise, why do you sound so miserable?” Gillian asked.

  “Not miserable.” Lonely for the man who’d left too quickly last evening. Juliette sat up in bed, letting the morning sun stream through the blinds and bathe her in warmth. “And I recall leaving a message on your answering machine the day I got down here.”

  Gillian cleared her throat. “Yes, well, would you believe I was out and too busy to get back to you?”

  “Too afraid is more like it. I know you, Gillian Stanton. You were afraid to hear what I had to say about you arranging a fantasy vacation without telling me—oh, and switching my wardrobe. You knew I’d have a few choice words on that subject, too.”

  “When I didn’t hear back from you again I got worried.”

  She wasn’t surprised her sister had all but ignored the issue at hand. “You should be worried,” Juliette muttered. “It would serve you right.”

  “That bad an idea?”

  She didn’t miss the hesitancy in Gillian’s voice and decided she’d tortured her sister enough. Besides, she needed her twin and best friend’s advice. “It was probably the best idea you’ve had in this lifetime,” she admitted.

  “Wow! That good. Well, I read about Fantasies, Inc. in a magazine. Would you believe couples actually end up married thanks to that resort and its owner?”

  Married. Before Juliette could either process the word or speak, Gillian continued. “And speaking of married—or more accurately, not married—you should know Stuart’s been suspiciously silent since you’ve been gone.”

  Juliette let out a stream of breath. “Silent in what way? I haven’t been in contact with him since we came to that so-called understanding to keep quiet.”

  “He called the day you left.”

  “He called me?” Gillian was staying in Juliette’s house to throw the reporters off the trail. “Why would Stuart want to deal with me now?”

  “Most likely he was checking up on you and, believe me, he wasn’t buying my ‘this is Juliette’ act.”

  Despite the circumstances, Juliette laughed. “He’s known us too long.”

  “Well, don’t worry. I wasn’t talking or giving away secrets. He tried a few more times and gave up. It’s the giving up part I don’t like or trust.”

  Juliette played with the covers, pushing the comforter into a large hump and smashing it down again. Making mountains out of molehills, she thought wryly. “How about Dad? How’re he and Mom doing?”

  “Fine. And don’t worry on that front either. Dad’s not giving away your whereabouts. Much as he respects Stuart, at least for now, he loves you more.”

  Juliette swallowed over the lump in her throat. “He’ll be so disillusioned when he learns the truth.”

  “Better disillusioned with the snake than confused and worried about you.”

  Juliette groaned. She knew her parents were concerned she’d called off the wedding without notice or prior suspicious behavior on her part. She’d given no one a clue things were about to unravel with Stuart, mostly because she hadn’t had any warning herself. And her sudden vacation wasn’t Juliette-like either. She wondered what her entire family would think if they knew she’d taken up with a stranger? A man she wanted to know intimately.

  “Have you come up with any ideas on how to reveal this mess with minimal fallout or are you too involved with your fantasy man? My guess and hope is number two—it’s why I sent you down there.”

  Despite her preoccupation with Doug, Juliette had thought plenty about the problems back home. She just hadn’t come up with a solution yet. “Actually I met someone who may be able to offer some advice. An impartial third party.”

  Gillian laughed. “An impartial he or an impartial she?”

  “As if you don’t know. After all, you set up my fantasy.”

  “The fantasy, not the man,” Gillian said. “So what’s he like?”

  “Incredibly special.” And Juliette had her sister to thank. “What is it you wrote?” Juliette lunged for the night table drawer and retrieved her copy of Merrilee’s paperwork, delivered to the cottage upon request. Juliette had been curious what her sister thought she needed in a fantasy.

  “Aha. Here it is.” She read aloud. “To experience the luxury of being catered to and doted upon by a very special man. To feel desirable, be the center of his universe and forget the hurt of a broken engagement.” Her voice trailed off. “How did you know?”

  “Because you’re part of me. When you hurt, I hurt. And if I’d been through what you just suffered, that fantasy is what I would need.”

  As twins, they weren’t as different as Doug thought, Juliette realized. Which brought another realization to mind. “This trip you sent me on? It’s because you feel guilty, isn’t it? Because I got involved with Stuart, not you.”

  She heard her sister’s deep sigh. “If I weren’t the wilder teenager, the one constantly grounded and in trouble, you wouldn’t have gone overboard to compensate. To make sure the reporters had someone else to focus on the times they were out for blood. You took one look at Dad’s face when you saw Stuart was interested in you and you saw a way to please him, and you reacted without even asking your heart if it wanted to follow. I feel responsible for that.”

  “I make my own decisions, even if they’re sometimes the wrong ones. You never had to feel guilty.” Anymore than she had to overcompensate for her sister’s personality. “Oh, the tangled web of our lives.” Juliette laughed. “But things always work out for the best. I met Doug.”

  “Whoever he is, you sound happy. That’s all I wanted.”

  Juliette hugged her knees to her chest. “It’s a vacation,” she told her sister. “It’s temporary.” If she said it out
loud, she hoped she’d prevent any foolish notions of seeing Doug beyond this week from taking hold. “He’s from Michigan.”

  “Worry about the logistics later and just enjoy for now.”

  “Oh, I intend to.”

  “I take it this Doug is the disinterested third party you think can help you formulate a plan to help Dad. You trust him?”

  Juliette didn’t hesitate. “Yes. I know my history doesn’t back me up, but this man’s different. And he doesn’t know me or my background. He can’t possibly want anything except…well, me.” She laughed.

  “You don’t need to convince me. The happiness in your voice speaks for itself. You have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

  Juliette rolled her eyes. “That leaves a lot of leeway.”

  “Exactly,” Gillian said, sounding all too pleased with herself.

  Juliette hung up the phone filled with restless energy. After washing up, she pulled her hair into a loose ponytail, slipped on the most relaxed outfit she could find, a light-green tank dress and sandals, and headed out the door. Maybe a tour of the island and its lush beauty would ease her spirit. Besides, she needed to kill an hour before any of the resort restaurants opened for breakfast.

  The hot, humid outdoors was quiet except for the wildlife, the chirping of birds and slight rustle of trees, making her feel as though she had the island to herself. Half an hour later, her mind was clear, her body relaxed. And then a noisy stirring sounded in the bushes behind her, too heavy and loud to be a lizard or other small animal. Startled, Juliette turned fast, but she didn’t see anything or anyone behind her.

  “That’s strange.” She rolled her shoulders, easing the sudden tension. Although she knew the island was private and safe, suddenly she no longer wanted to be so isolated and began a quick walk toward the main building. The entire way the uncomfortable feeling she was no longer alone remained with her.

  But when she came upon the pool, her fear dissipated. Doug was alone in the huge pool swimming laps. Pleasure at seeing him replaced every other emotion and she chose a chair at the far end where she could settle in and watch.

  He swam with grace and ease, but not with the lazy stroke of a man doing routine morning laps. Instead he hit the water with hard, determined movements, barely coming up for air at one end before diving back under and starting again. Almost as if he were working off frustration rather than swimming for pleasure or exercise.

  She curled her legs beneath her and narrowed her gaze, wondering if she were imagining things. But when he finally lifted his head long enough to notice her, instead of a wave, a nod or other greeting, he jerked his head back around and began the harsh routine once more.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  JULIETTE WAS the last person Doug needed or wanted to see. He turned and hit the water again, determined to work himself until he no longer responded to her fresh beauty or honest eyes. Until his body was too tired to react to hers and his mind could focus on pushing her for answers. Something he’d yet to try.

  So far, each time she peeled off a layer of Juliette Stanton, giving him deeper access to her thoughts, feelings and past, he’d let her set the pace. Never pushing. Never prodding. Never probing further than the limits she set, not even when she’d called her ex-fiancé by name. Some reporter, he thought with disgust, and turned at the edge of the pool, beginning yet another lap.

  He thought of this morning’s call to the hospital and his mother’s groggy reply. After the last test on his dad, they’d found clogged arteries that needed bypassing or else he might not survive another attack. They’d performed emergency surgery last night. Unable to reach Doug in his room and he suspected unwilling to try too hard and interrupt his so-called assignment, his mother had endured the hours of his father’s surgery and the long wait alone. He should have been there.

  And maybe he would have been if he’d been doing his job as a reporter and not falling harder for Juliette Stanton—the woman who held the answers that would free him up from this assignment and let him go home where he was needed.

  He surfaced, coming up for much-needed air, to find her kneeling at the edge of the pool. “Exercise doesn’t accomplish much if you pass out.”

  He slicked his wet hair off his face. “I needed to burn off some energy.”

  “Looked more like you were working yourself to death. What’s wrong?” She settled herself on the concrete edge, oblivious to getting her dress wet, and propped her chin in her hands, waiting for an answer.

  “Bad news at home.”

  “Your parents?”

  He let out a groan. He had no reason to lie. “My father. He had a heart attack a little while back and they had to operate last night.”

  “Oh, Doug. I’m sorry.” She placed her warm, dry hand over his wet one. “Is there anything I can do?”

  He doubted she’d appreciate hearing that information was the one thing he needed. He shook his head. “But thanks for asking.”

  “Do you need to leave?” The concern in her voice was mixed with a disappointment he couldn’t mistake and the anger and frustration he’d mentally aimed her way all morning evaporated.

  “Not right now.” The surgery had gone well and again his father was resting comfortably. In fact, the procedure might well have added years to his life. “Things are actually looking up.”

  “I’m glad. I know how much you love them.” Relief etched her features. “Of course I’d miss you if you had to go.”

  With her honest, heartfelt admission, the vise clamping his heart all morning eased as well. He couldn’t blame her for the predicament he was in anymore than he wanted to. He’d just needed an immediate outlet for his frustration and guilt. Swimming had helped.

  Having her here by his side helped more. “So tell me. What are you doing up so early?”

  She shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep.” She met his gaze and heat flared in her green eyes.

  Heat he couldn’t misinterpret because the inferno had been burning inside him all night, too. Ever since he’d left her alone in her bed. Walking out when she’d have willingly given herself to him had been the most difficult move of his life. But in the light of day, he could say he respected his actions and, more importantly, respected himself. Given all that had passed recently, that was saying a lot and he had Juliette to thank.

  “I had a pretty restless night myself,” he admitted.

  She nodded without speaking. What was there to say when silence was comfortable and they could read each other’s thoughts? He shook his head, unable to comprehend the bond and sense of understanding she gave him with her mere presence.

  He’d always believed his parents shared a unique relationship, one where wedding vows not only meant something but were strengthened with each passing year. In contrast, Doug’s few long-term affairs had involved lots of good sex and then demands from the women for him to talk and express his feelings when he’d rather be left alone. He’d always ended up feeling suffocated, needing to get out.

  What he experienced with Juliette was special. They shared comfortable silence when he wouldn’t mind opening up. She gave him tacit understanding with no strings and no expectations yet he wished she’d demand some. And, most surprising, not only wasn’t he sexually involved, but he’d backed off when she’d offered him more. Because he cared more about her feelings and well-being than his own.

  “Restless because of your dad?” she asked, seriously, as if she had no clue what walking out on her had cost him.

  He shook his head. “I got that call this morning.” He’d tossed and turned earlier, thinking of her.

  “And now? You’re worried and preoccupied?”

  “I’m worried, yes. Preoccupied? Not enough to distract me.” Not anymore. “I missed you last night.”

  The genuine pleasure in her smile almost made up for his restless night.

  “Well, those old clichés are worth something and absence definitely made my heart grow fonder,” she said.

  He groan
ed. “You’re killing me.”

  “I should hope not. There’re too many other things I want to do with you first.”

  Doug knew better than to ask. He knew her answer could only get a man who’d promised himself hands-off in deep trouble. “What things?” he asked anyway, in a voice rough with wanting. Asked as he extended his hand to touch her even though he’d sworn not to.

  “Well, for one thing, I want more of those soul-deep kisses you’re so good at.” Her lashes fluttered as she spoke, modesty rearing its endearing head.

  That did it. He grasped her waist and pulled her into the pool. She yelped in surprise and toppled into his waiting arms.

  “No fair,” she said, sputtering, but she wasn’t angry. She was smiling. Laughing, too. His arms remained around her waist as her feet found the bottom of the pool. She pushed down on her dress hem which insisted on floating up around her at the surface.

  He chuckled. “Maybe not, but I’ve finally got you where I want you. You’re in my arms and I’ve cooled you off. Which of those things is a problem for you?”

  She splashed a handful of water at him. “Neither, and you know it. It’s just your methods that are a little unorthodox.”

  He splayed his hands in front of him as if fending her off and grinned. “You said yourself you wanted to experience everything. I’m just helping you along. Besides…” his voice dropped in direct proportion to his deepening feelings, “I want to be with you, too, and right now we’re all alone here.”

  She looped her arms around his neck and leaned against him, bringing them together in a teasing, tempting way. His body, never relaxed when she was around, grew hard with wanting. He’d started this by dunking her, now he could live with the consequences.

  “How can a girl argue with a man who’ll go to such extremes to get her in his arms?” she asked.

  “She can’t.” He extended his hand, easing her back so he got a full-bodied view. Her light-green cotton dress clung in all the right places and had turned sheer enough to reveal her puckered nipples through the wet fabric. Suddenly those soul-deep kisses she mentioned held tremendous appeal.